NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series 2
by SuperBlackdeth666
Summary: The second season of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, featuring a few new faces, new teams, and many of the ones from before returning for another season of racing action!
1. Introduction

**IT'S BACK!**

** For those of you who read the first NCCS season, welcome back! For those new to this, let me break it down for you; the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is like the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, with the same races, same tracks, same teams and same cars, except that this series has cartoon characters as the drivers! There are also cartoons as the crew chiefs, and this time, they will be the spotters, too!**

** For you newcomers wondering how this came to be, the original concept was based on the idea of many of these characters racing each other in the Gran Turismo simulation games, which I've always loved. Then, when I started getting back into NASCAR, thanks to the 2012 Daytona 500, I wound up putting these characters in the NASCAR cars, and ran with the whole idea, doing a whole racing season! And now, the second season has arrived!**

** Also, for those of you returning from last season, you'll notice that this time, amongst other things, I will now have cartoon characters as the spotters; I got the idea from a special friend, who, for his safety, shall not be identified...**

** But anyway, that's the basic jist of it. And now, presenting the roster for the 2013 NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series Season!**

**TEAM; CAR; DRIVER; MAKE; SPONSOR; CREW CHIEF; SPOTTER**

** [R] - denotes rookie**

**BK Racing; 83; Homer Simpson; Toyota; Burger King; Marge Simpson; Bart Simpson**

**BK Racing; 93; Peter Griffin; Toyota; Burger King; Lois Griffin; Brian Griffin**

**Circle Sport; 33; Grim; Chevrolet; Little Joe's Autos; Mandy; Billy**

**Earnhardt Ganassi Racing; 1; Nigel Uno; Chevrolet; McDonald's; Rachel T. McKenzie; Monty Uno**

**Earnhardt Ganassi Racing; 42; Ahsoka Tano [R]; Chevrolet; Target; Anakin Skywalker; Obi-Wan Kenobi**

**FAS Lane Racing; 32; The Warden; Ford; Federated Auto Parts; Jared; Alice**

**Front Row Motorsports; 34; Katara; Ford; CSX Transportation; Zuko; Mai**

**Front Row Motorsports; 35; Aang; Ford; Morristown Driver's Service; Toph; Ty Lee**

**Front Row Motorsports; 38; Sokka; Ford; Modspace; Suki; Azula**

**Furniture Row Racing; 78; Spongebob SquarePants; Chevrolet; Furniture Row; Patrick Star; Krusty Krab**

**Germain Racing; 13; Hank Venture [R]; Ford; GEICO; Dean Venture; Thaddeus Venture**

**Hendrick Motorsports; 5; Abigail Lincoln; Chevrolet; Farmer's Insurance; Kuki Sanban; Cree Lincoln**

**Hendrick Motorsports; 24; Beavis; Chevrolet; Drive To End Hunger; Tom Anderson; Todd Ianuzzi**

**Hendrick Motorsports; 48; Butt-Head; Chevrolet; Lowe's; David Von Driessen; Stewart Stevenson**

**Hendrick Motorsports; 88; Daria Morgendorffer [R]; Chevrolet; Diet Mountain Dew; Quinn Morgendorffer; Jane Lane**

**Joe Gibbs Racing; 11; Twilight Sparkle; Toyota; FedEx; Rarity; Spike**

**Joe Gibbs Racing; 18; Applejack; Toyota; M & M's; Pinkie Pie; Apple Bloom**

**Joe Gibbs Racing; 20; Rainbow Dash; Toyota; The Home Depot; Fluttershy; Scootaloo**

**JTG Daugherty Racing; 47; William Murderface; Toyota; Bush's Baked Beans; Charles Foster Offdensen; Dick Knubbler**

**Leavine Family Racing; 95; Hank Hill; Ford; Jordan's Truck Sales; Peggy Hill; Bobby Hill**

**Michael Waltrip Racing; 15; Frylock; Toyota; 5 Hour Energy; Carl Brutananadilewski; Dr. Weird**

**Michael Waltrip Racing; 55; Master Shake; Toyota; Aaron's; Ignignokt; George Lowe**

**Michael Waltrip Racing; 56; Meatwad; Toyota; NAPA; Err; MC P Pants**

**NEMCO Motorsports; 87; Gumball Watterson; Toyota; AM FM Energy; Darwin Watterson; Anais Watterson**

**Penske Racing; 2; Hoagie P. Gilligan; Ford; Miller Lite; Wallabee Beetles; Tommy Gilligan**

**Penske Racing; 22; Bender; Ford; Shell/Pennzoil; Hubert J. Farnsworth; Dr. Zoidberg**

**Phil Parsons Racing; 98; Foxxy Love; Ford; K-LOVE; Princess Clara; Captain Hero**

**Phoenix Racing; 51; Kim Possible; Chevrolet; Phoenix Construction; Ron Stoppable; Ann Possible**

**Richard Childress Racing; 27; Ed; Chevrolet; Menards; Sarah; Jimmy**

**Richard Childress Racing; 29; Edd; Chevrolet; Budweiser; Nazz; Jonny 2X4**

**Richard Childress Racing; 31; Eddy; Chevrolet; Caterpillar; Rolf; Kevin**

**Richard Petty Motorsports; 9; Ferb Fletcher; Ford; Stanley/DeWalt; Baljeet Patel; Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**

**Richard Petty Motorsports; 43; Phineas Flynn; Ford; Smithfield Foods; Isabella Garcia-Shapiro; Candace Flynn**

**Roush Fenway Racing; 16; Danny Phantom; Ford; 3M; Sam Manson; Tucker Foley**

**Roush Fenway Racing; 17; Timmy Turner; Ford; Best Buy; Cosmo; Wanda**

**Roush Fenway Racing; 99; Dudley Puppy; Ford; Fastenal; Kitty Kaswell; Keswick**

**Stewart-Haas Racing; 10; Ben Tennyson; Chevrolet; GoDaddy; Gwen Tennyson; Kevin Levin**

**Stewart-Haas Racing; 14; Eric Cartman; Chevrolet; Bass Pro Shops; Kyle Broflovski; Butters Scotch**

**Stewart-Haas Racing; 39; Kenny McCormick; Chevrolet; Quicken Loans; Stan Marsh; Wendy Testaburger**

**Swan Racing; 30; Jake Long [R]; Toyota; Swan Energy; Spud Spudinski; Trixie Carter**

**Tommy Baldwin Racing; 7; Stan Smith; Chevrolet; Accell Construction; Roger Smith; Klaus Heissler**

**Tommy Baldwin Racing; 36; Francine Smith; Chevrolet; Golden Corrall; Steve Smith; Hayley Smith**

**Wood Brothers Racing; 21; Early Cuyler; Ford; Motorcraft; Rusty Cuyler; Lil Cuyler**

** So who are YOU rooting for?**

** And now, the 2013 Cartoon Cup Series schedule;**

**Daytona International Speedway****

**Daytona International Speedway****

**Daytona International Speedway**

**Phoenix International Raceway**

**Las Vegas Motor Speedway**

**Bristol Motor Speedway**

**Auto Club Speedway**

**Martinsville Speedway**

**Texas Motor Speedway**

**Kansas Speedway**

**Richmond International Raceway**

**Talladega Superspeedway**

**Darlington Raceway**

**Charlotte Motor Speedway****

**Charlotte Motor Speedway**

**Dover International Speedway**

**Pocono Raceway**

**Michigan International Speedway**

**Sonoma Raceway**

**Kentucky Speedway**

**Daytona International Speedway**

**New Hampshire Motor Speedway**

**Indianapolis Motor Speedway**

**Pocono Raceway**

**Watkins Glen International**

**Michigan International Speedway**

**Bristol Motor Speedway**

**Atlanta Motor Speedway**

**Richmond International Raceway**

**Chicagoland Speedway***

**New Hampshire Motor Speedway***

**Dover International Speedway***

**Kansas Speedway***

**Charlotte Motor Speedway***

**Talladega Superspeedway***

**Martinsville Speedway***

**Texas Motor Speedway***

**Phoenix International Raceway***

**Homestead-Miami Speedway***

** (*) - Chase for the Cartoon Cup**

** (**) - Non-points race**

** For those of you returning from last season, you may notice that I actually included the exhibition races this time - the real reason I omitted them last time is because I didn't have a previous season that could give me something to work with. Now that I do, the non-points races are good to go.**

** And for the newcomers; it should be noted that a few of these cars, in real life, have been known to "start-and-park;" withdraw from the race early to collect prize money while avoiding expenses. But not here - just like last time, everyone's in it to win it!**

** And with that, we're ready to go! Our first race will be at the world-renowned Daytona International Speedway; it will be an exhibition race - the Sprint Unlimited!**


	2. Banquet

But first, I'd like to start off with this side story, which takes place on Valentine's Day, two days before the Sprint Unlimited at Daytona International Speedway.

It takes place in a very large, upscale restaurant in Daytona Beach, Florida. Inside, there is a huge preseason Valentine's Day banquet. All of the drivers, crew chiefs and spotters participating in this year's NASCAR Cartoon Cup Season are there. Everyone, well, mostly everyone, is split up according to which team they drive for...

First off, we'll look at the Roush Fenway Racing table, where Danny Phantom, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Timmy Turner, Cosmo, Wanda, Dudley Puppy, Kitty Kaswell and Keswick are all seated. Dudley, Kitty and Keswick are all just eating their food and chatting, not participating in any of the Valentine's Day activites. On the other hand, though...

"Alright, Timmy," Wanda is saying, "you can have one Valentine's wish."

"Just say the words, and we'll make it happen!" adds Cosmo.

Immediately, Timmy spurts out, "I wish that we'd win every race this season!"

"Uh, we can't do that, that'd be unfair," replies Wanda.

Timmy shrugs and says, "Then I wish that I had pepperoni pizza, instead of this gourmet crap!" Instaneously, Timmy's fancy meat and vegetables are magically transformed into a single, 10" pepperoni pizza just for him. "YES! I love you guys!" says Timmy as he digs into his pizza. Meanwhile, Danny and Sam exchange gifts;

"You got me a Hershey's hug!" says Danny.

"And you got me a Hershey's kiss!" says Sam.

"It's perfect! Happy Valentine's Day!" they both say as they proceed to hug and kiss, much to Tucker's chagrin.

Now, we shall head over to the Richard Petty Motorsports table, where Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Baljeet Patel, Candace Flynn and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz are all seated. For the moment, the majority of them are just sitting there, chewing. In the meantime, Phineas has something for Isabella;

"It's a molecular candy generator," explains Phineas. "Made it myself. You can literally generate any kind of candy you want out of thin air."

"You never cease to amaze me... come here, you!" says Isabella. She then proceeds to cover Phineas with kisses all over his face, making him giggle. Meanwhile, Ferb has something for Vanessa;

"A teddy bear? Heeheehee, that's cute!" Vanessa giggles as she rubs Ferb on the head, making him blush. She, of course, remains oblivious to the obvious feelings that Ferb has for her...

And now, we'll go to the table where Nigel Uno, Rachel McKenzie, Hoagie Gilligan, Wallabee Beetles, Abigail Lincoln and Kuki Sanban are located. Despite them being on different teams, Nigel and Rachel were able to pull some strings to get them all a table for themselves.

"Man, I wish we got to drive this year, Wally says. I mean, it was great that we got to drive in that Japanese race, but I'd like to drive full-time sometime, you know?"

"Oh, don't worry about it," replies Kuki. "Oh, and happy Valentine's Day!" she adds as she gives him a Snicker's bar. "I love Snickers!" he says, "But I have nothing to give you... just a kiss." And so they kiss.

"I got you some candy, too," says Abby to Hoagie as she takes out a heart-shaped box for him. "But for each one, you'll have to give me a kiss!" "No problem!" teases Hoagie. They make out for a few seconds, Abby feeds him a chocolate piece hand-to-mouth, and they repeat the process.

Not much to say about Nigel and Rachel, other than they're tongue-kissing nonstop...

And now we go to the BK Racing table, at which seats, amongst others, the defending Cartoon Cup Series champion, Homer Simpson, and his wife and crew chief, Marge. Their son Bart is also there; he will be serving as spotter for the team this season. Already, Homer and Marge have exchanged cards and heart-shaped boxes and have kissed. "Here's to another great racing season!" Homer says to Marge.

"To another great season!" replies Marge as they clank their cups together.

Bart, meanwhile, is feeling left out. "Hey, don't you have Valentines for me?" he begs.

"Oh, you don't want Valentines from us," Marge says nonchalantly.

"Yeah, besides, we're the champions!" says Homer. "And we don't have to listen to you or anybody else!"

Marge and Homer share a laugh. Ever since winning the championship, they've become very pompous and arrogant. This had led to them behaving as such towards their neighbors, friends, community members, extended family; they've even become neglectful towards their own kids - they still tended to their basic needs as required by law, but nothing more, as they were too consumed by their success.

Suddenly, Homer and Marge start to make out excessively. Bart tries to get their attention, but they won't give it to him. They haven't, ever since becoming champions. And now, Bart angrilly watches his parents go at it until he bursts out with the statement, "SCREW YOU, I'M OUTTA HERE!" He angrilly stands up and heads out the door and sits by himself in an adjacent hallway.

As it turns out, they were sitting right next to the Joe Gibbs Racing table, where the ponies were. Fluttershy has heard everything. "Poor guy!" she squeaks. "I think I oughta do something nice for him."

"You don't care about him!" Rainbow Dash scoffs. "You're just doing it out of pity!"

"Hey, I'm the Element of Kindness," replies Fluttershy. "Hey Twilight, you think you can conjure up something for me to give to him?"

"You got it!" says Twilight Sparkle as she does so.

Suddenly, the whole banquet is called to attention as Mike Helton, the President of NASCAR, stands before them. "Good evening, ladies and gentletoons!" he says as the banquet falls silent.

"First," he says, "it is my pleasure to introduce to you the rookie class of the 2013 Cartoon Cup Series season. First, we have in the new #30 Swan Energy Toyota for Swan Racing, he calls himself the American Dragon... Jake Long!" Jake Long stands from his table, smiles and waves as the others applaud him.

Mike Helton continues, "Taking over the #13 GEICO Ford for Germain Racing, he is an action-adventurer who hopes to have more success in NASCAR than he has fulfilling his family's legacy... Hank Venture!" Hank Venture stands and lets the crowd acknowledge him.

Says Mike Helton, "Taking over the #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet for Hendrick Motorsports is the girl who was the crew chief for the #24 car last year, now hoping to find success as a driver... Daria Morgendorffer! Daria ignores the applause.

Says Mike Helton, "And finally, lo and behold, taking over the #42 Target Chevrolet for Earnhardt Ganassi Racing, a real honest-to-god Jedi, no less... Ahsoka Tano!" Everyone cheers loudly for Ahsoka, but she takes it very coolly - Jedi are notoriously humble and modest beings.

"Well," says Mike Helton, "I'm really looking forward to this new season, especially the non-points races; we didn't do any last season because we didn't have a previous season with anything to work with; now that we do, it's a go! Plus, we're proud to announce that this will be our first season with the Rookie of the Year award!" (applause) "And there's the defending champion, Homer Simpson... try and stop him!" (sarcastic applause) "Alright, that's all I have to say. Enjoy the rest of the banquet, everybody!"

...

While everyone else gets back to eating, Fluttershy excuses herself and heads into the adjacent hallway in order to locate Bart; she sees him sitting on the floor by himself at the end of the hall, looking very down. Fluttershy walks down the hall and approaches Bart, sitting down at his side. Bart looks up at Fluttershy with a face twisted with sadness. Fluttershy retains her smile and reaches out a hoof, on which she holds the Valentine's gift that Twilight Sparkle conjured for her to give to him; a single Hershey's kiss.

Bart is reluctant to accept the gift at first, unwilling to accept what he sees as pity. But he brings himself to accept it as act of kindness, takes the Hershey's kiss, slowly unwraps it, puts it in his mouth and starts to chew. "So... so sweet," is the phrase on Bart's mind as he eats.

After swallowing the candy, Bart takes a second to let the moment sink in. Ultimately, he's so touched by Fluttershy's kindness that he turns to her, looking into her eyes with tears forming in his own eyes, and with his arms spread wide open.

"Awww, it's okay," croons Fluttershy as she gently pulls Bart into her arms. Bart wraps his own arms around Fluttershy, buries his face in her chest and starts to sob. "Shhh," whispers Fluttershy as she rubs her back and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Eventually, Bart calms down, and they release their embrace. Bart manages to bring his face into a smile, saying, "Thanks, Fluttershy. You made my Valentine's day, unlike some people I live with!"

Fluttershy responds by putting a hand on Bart's shoulder and saying, "Don't be too hard on your parents. They still love you; they're just distracted by the success they've had in this business - they'll come around eventually."

"The only way that'll happen is if they lose out this year!"

"Well, until they do come around, don't wish too much bad on them."

"At least I have my sister; she cares."

"Do your parents neglect her as much?"

"Well, she's always been the favorite, but yes, they've neglected her, too. I guess the success really has gotten to them."

"Wow. Well, all I can say is, be there for her as she is for you. She's not involved with your race team, is she?"

"No."

"Alright, well during the race weekends, whenever you feel down, if someone does something to you or whatever, come to me; I'll be your friend and confidant through it all; in other words, I'm here for you, Bart."

The two share one more hug, then Bart says, "You know what, I'm sick of this place; I'm headed back to our hotel room. Guess I'll see ya this weekend?"

"Of course," says Fluttershy. "See you round."

"Smell ya later! And good luck!"

"You too!"

And so, for now, the two new friends part ways; Fluttershy rejoins her team at the banquet while Bart heads back to his family's hotel room to get some sleep, and to rest up for the Sprint Unlimited exhibition that is just two days away...


	3. Sprint Unlimited

**And now that we've broken the ice, it is time for our first race of the season, an exhibition race held at the Daytona International Speedway, called the Sprint Unlimited!**

** Here's how the race is going to work; first of all, the race will consist of everyone who won a pole position last season. As for the race itself, seeing as it's how the fans voted, the race will be split into 3 segments, the first will be 30 laps, the second will be 25 laps, and the third will be 20 laps. Later on, the fans will also vote for what type of pit stop to take after the first segment, and how many cars will be eliminated after the second segment, and after that, it's on to the finish!**

**Now about the track; Daytona International Speedway is a 2.5-mile tri-oval. The turns are banked at 31 degrees, the tri-oval is banked at 18 degrees, and the backstretch is banked at 2 degrees. All the cars run with restrictor plates on this track to keep speeds down for safety purposes. However, this does lead to the cars getting bunched together. This means they'll have to work together to draft off each other to stay with the pack; it also means a much greater risk for big wrecks… Speaking of cars, NASCAR just came out with Gen-6 car; basically, they bear more resemblance to their stock counterparts. It should be interesting to see how they will drive.**

**And now, the starting line-up for the Sprint Unlimited;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Francine Smith (36)**

**3. Danny Phantom (16)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**6. Grim (33)**

**7. Kim Possible (51)**

**8. Bender (22)**

**9. Early Cuyler (21)**

**10. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**11. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**12. Stan Smith (7)**

**13. Peter Griffin (93)**

**14. William Murderface (47)**

**15. Ed (27)**

**16. Eric Cartman (14)**

**17. Beavis (24)**

**18. Edd (29)**

**19. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**20. Master Shake (55)**

**21. Butt-Head (48)**

**22. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**23. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**24. Eddy (31)**

**25. Nigel Uno (1)**

**This race will be broadcast on FOX. Tuning on to them now;**

Mike Joy: IT'S BACK! The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series has returned for a 2nd season! We'll be seeing a few new faces, a few new teams, and many of the ones before waging war in the 2nd NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season! Tonight, we're at Daytona International Speedway for the first race of this season; the first exhibition race this season has had, the Sprint Unlimited! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, alongside Larry McReynolds and former Sprint Unlimited winner, Darrell Waltrip. We'll start with you, Larry; how do you expect these cartoons to handle this new Generation 6 stock car?

McReynolds: Well, it's clearly taken them some time to adapt – you saw how they were wrecking constantly in testing and practice. Drafting has become somewhat more difficult; it's gotten just a bit harder to get by someone who's alongside you – we saw that go wrong a few times in testing and practice. Of course, this is an exhibition, so they should be able to get a better handle of the car in time for the 500.

Joy: And he's right, Darrell – this is an exhibition, and yet everyone pushes so hard for glory here. And you would know – you've won this race before.

D.W: That's the beauty of it; no points to worry about, because there are none! Just bragging rights and $200,000, and only 75 laps to get it in. That there is why they race each other so hard in this race.

Joy: And we'll see just how hard these cartoons race each other, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome the father of Hanna-Barbera's Jetsons, George Jetson!

George: Ladies and gentletoons, stop this crazy sittin' around and start your engines!

**A combined force of 11,125 hp permeates through the Daytona International Speedway. After warming up, the pace car leads them out onto the pace laps.**

Joy: Well then, let's see our first starting line-up of the season; on pole, we have Timmy Turner, who was on the pole for the 500 last year, and in 2nd is Francine Smith, taking over Tommy Baldwin's #36 car. The half-breed ghost boy Danny Phantom will be 3rd; in 4th is Britain's own Ferb Fletcher! Spongebob SquarePants will roll off in 5th, and Grim, having transferred to Circle Sport's #33 car will be 6th. Kim Possible, who had a real quiet season last year will start 7th, alongside her in 8th is the robot Bender. The squid Early Cuyler, in the famed Wood Brothers' #21 will start 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is last year's Daytona 500 winner, Twilight Sparkle. You should try and ring her up, D.W!

D.W: You got it. Hey Twilight Sparkle, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Twilight: Hey, D.W! How's it goin'?

D.W: Goin' great, how 'bout you? I know everyone's taken awhile to adapt to this new car, and since you won the 500 last year, I thought maybe you'd like to tell us how you've been holding up.

Twilight: Honestly, I just consider myself lucky just to have avoided all the crashes in testing and practice! (laughs) But seriously, I'm holding up alright – I admit, it is harder to draft, and my only teammate is starting 7 rows back, so I guess we'll just have to see how that plays out.

D.W: Speaking of Rainbow Dash, how's she been holding up since Danny Phantom attacked her at Motegi?

Twilight: She's been doing quite well, actually. A special friend of ours, wink, took care of her, she made peace with the ghost-boy, and, well, me and her are both rarin' to go tonight!

D.W: Glad to hear it! Good luck to you both!

Twilight: 10-4, thanks!

Joy: Alright, now, let's get our first pit road stories of the season; Matt Yocum?

Yocum: Mike, that radio conversation pretty much said it all; Twilight Sparkle was indeed one of the lucky ones who avoided crashing during testing and practice. I spoke earlier with her crew chief Rarity, and her only complaint was the increased difficulty of drafting off each other, but both she and Twilight are completely satisfied with their car. Krista Voda?

Voda: Matt, I'm at Peter Griffin's stall; Peter has been saying that he feels like he's under a lot of pressure to win this race, mainly because his teammate, defending champion Homer Simpson, is not driving in this race! Nevertheless, Peter has been reporting a really good car, and a real high confidence level. Steve Byrnes?

Byrnes: Krista, Nigel Uno has been rarin' to go ever since the end of last season when he got taken out of the title hunt by his own friend, Hoagie Gilligan. He has his work cut out for him tonight, as he is starting dead last in the field of 25, so he'll really have to work hard with the drafting partners he'll have. Erin Andrews?

Andrews: Steve, speaking of confidence, Kenny McCormick is currently more confident than ever before. He won last year's season finale at Homestead after a string of fatal accidents throughout the year, now he's been saying all weekend that he's gonna take any measures necessary to not die again this year. We'll see how that plays out. Back to you, Mike.

Joy: Thanks, Erin. Erin Andrews, of course, is succeeding the recently retired Dick Berggren.

**...**

** Eventually, the pace car retreats to pit road, then the field of 25 cars goes full throttle as the green flag is flown.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Right from the get-go, Timmy Turner loses the lead to his teammate, Danny Phantom, while going through turn 1.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 3, Twilight Sparkle falls out of the top 10.**

** On lap 5, going down the backstretch, Francine Smith pulls along Danny Phantom, with Bender right behind her. For about 6 laps, these four cars keep going dead even like this. Then, Francine and Bender get the edge.**

** Twilight Sparkle gets back in the top 10 on lap 14.**

** On lap 15, this happens;**

Joy: And here comes Ferb Fletcher, he's gonna cut inside of Francine-

McReynolds: Oh, he's just been tagged by Danny Phantom!

D.W: Ferb saves it, but they're piling up behind him!

Spike: Check up, check up, check up, CHECK UP!

Joy: Grim, Kim Possible, Spongebob SquarePants, Twilight Sparkle, Bender, Early Cuyler and Stan Smith have all wrecked in turns 1 & 2, caution is out!

Ferb: What the hell! You didn't clear me!

Vanessa: Oh, sorry. At least you saved it.

Ferb: It's okay, I forgive you.

**Going into turn 1, Ferb Fletcher goes to the inside to try and get by Francine Smith, but due to Vanessa Doofenshmirtz neglecting to clear him, he ends up hitting the right-front of Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford, getting very loose and sending up sparks. Ferb manages to save it, but drivers behind him react to it, and a seven-car wreck ensues, taking out Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos's Chevrolet, Kim Possible's # 51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet, Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet, Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota, Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford, Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford and Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet. All of these cars are too damaged to continue.**

Twilight: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Spike: Uh, the #9 car was spewing sparks and everyone reacted to it.

Twilight: Ugh! Damn people!

**Fortunately, everyone gets out unharmed, and they're all taken to the infield care center.**

** On lap 20...**

Joy: And we restart with 10 laps to go in this segment, let's Crank It Up!

**On lap 22, Peter Griffin jumps ahead into the lead, with Eric Cartman right behind him. But Danny Phantom, with Timmy Turner still behind him, takes it back on lap 25. They go back and forth a few times until lap 30.**

Joy: And that's the end of Segment 1 – Peter Griffin is your race leader! You, the fans have voted, and so it has been decided that all cars will now take four tires in the pits!

**The first segment of racing ends with all the cars completing lap 30; Peter Griffin is the race leader; Danny Phantom, Eric Cartman, Timmy Turner and Kenny McCormick make up the rest of the Top 5, then Beavis, Abigail Lincoln, Ed, William Murderface and Rainbow Dash round out the top 10.**

** The fans have voted that everyone will take four tires on the mandatory pit stops, and so they do just that; everyone also takes on full tanks of fuel. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Eric Cartman**

**2. Peter Griffin**

**3. Timmy Turner**

**4. Danny Phantom**

**5. Ed**

**6. Abigail Lincoln**

**7. Kenny McCormick**

**8. Rainbow Dash**

**9. Beavis**

**10. Edd**

**After pit stops, the race is restarted to start lap 31; the start of Segment 2.**

**Peter Griffin gets back in the lead going down the backstretch before the lap is over, with Timmy Turner drafting right behind him.**

**On lap 36;**

Brian: The #17 is slingshotting you on the inside... now he's clear.

Peter: Asshole!

Timmy: Alright, we're in the LEAD!

**Timmy Turner slingshots off of Peter Griffin going out of turn 4 to take the lead.**

** Rainbow Dash cracks the Top 5 on lap 40.**

** Two laps later, Beavis, with a push from Kenny McCormick, gets up to 6****th****, right behind Rainbow Dash.**

** Then, on lap 44;**

Joy: WHOA, Rainbow Dash is around... she saves it!

McReyonds: Wait, we have cars crashing-

D.W: Beavis is upside down!

Joy: And Abigail Lincoln's car is destroyed!

D.W: Oh my gosh!

Abigail: Numbuh 5 did not see that coming!

Beavis: GODDAMN PONY!

Fluttershy: Y'alright?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm fine.

**On lap 44, going out of turn 4, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet clips Rainbow Dash's #20 Home Depot Toyota; she gets loose, but manages to save it. Then, Beavis's car gets turned head-on into the wall by Abigail Lincoln's #5 Farmer's Insurance Chevrolet; the front of her car is destroyed by the impact. Then, Beavis's car gets further turned by Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet, and ends up upside down, sliding on its roof a ways before barrel rolling several times down the front straightaway and coming to a stop on the passenger's side.**

** The caution flag is immediately thrown out. Meanwhile, Butt-Head and Abigail Lincoln are able to limp their cars onto pit road and into the garage area. Beavis gets out of his car unhurt and is taken to the infield care center as his wrecked car is towed off the track.**

** No one elects to pit this time; the race restarts on lap 50. And so the surviving cars run through the last 5 laps of the 2****nd**** segment without anything happening.**

Joy: And there you have it; 2 out of 3 segments are now complete. You, the fans, have voted and have decided that none of the 15 surviving cars are to be eliminated.

D.W: Well, these big wrecks have pretty much taken care of that already.

McReynolds: Yeah, and I'm just waiting for there to be one more Big One!

**As Segment 2 comes to a close, Timmy Turner is your race leader. Peter Griffin, Danny Phantom, Eric Cartman and Rainbow Dash make up the rest of the top 5, then Kenny McCormick, Edd, Phineas Flynn, Master Shake and Ferb Fletcher round out the top 10.**

** All of the cars go into the pits for their last service stops of the race. This time around, NASCAR has decided that everyone will be running in the same order going out of the pits as they were coming in; therefore, all the pit crews take their time, so as to avoid any errors and to make any adjustments necessary without having to worry about time constraints.**

** When everyone is done, they roll back out onto the track. The top 10 at the restart will be same as it was at the end of Segment 2;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Peter Griffin (93)**

**3. Danny Phantom (16)**

**4. Eric Cartman (14)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**6. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**7. Edd (29)**

**8. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**9. Master Shake (55)**

**10. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

Joy: RESTART, with 20 laps to go, let's Crank It Up!

**We start the third and final segment of the race on lap 55, with 20 laps to go.**

** Edd, with drafting help from Ferb Fletcher, gets into the top 5 on lap 58.**

** On lap 61;**

McReynolds: Timmy Turner loses the lead, now he's in the middle with no help!

Wanda: Cars on both sides, no one behind you to help you.

Timmy: UGH! Total bogus! We're gonna lose out!

Cosmo: Calm down, we'll get back up there.

**On lap 61, Peter Griffin gets a run off of turn 2 to propel him into the lead. Danny Phantom, meanwhile, uses a slingshot move to take 2****nd**** from Timmy Turner; everyone drafting with him follows, leaving Timmy in the sucker hole with no help, quickly falling back…**

** Meanwhile, on lap 63, the duo of Edd and Ferb Fletcher get a great run going down the backstretch;**

D.W: Look out, the #29 and the #9 are coming fast through the middle!

McReynolds: There they go… they've made it!

Joy: Edd takes the lead!

Jonny: Plank says you're clear, Double-D.

Edd: 10-4, excellent!

**With help from Ferb Fletcher, Edd takes the lead on lap 63. The two then get in line in front of Peter Griffin.**

** Danny Phantom moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 65, trying to get ahead of Edd, but he can't pull it off. Rainbow Dash is right behind him, running in 4****th**** place.**

** Then, on lap 69;**

McReynolds: Kenny McCormick's got Master Shake right behind him, here they come through the middle!

Joy: Kenny McCormick takes the lead as we go into lap 70 – 6 to go!

**On lap 73;**

D.W: Now it's Rainbow Dash!

Joy: Rainbow Dash takes the lead with Phineas Flynn right behind him – 2 to go!

Fluttershy: Yay.

**The white flag flies on lap 75; Rainbow Dash is the race leader. Then, from 2****nd**** to 5****th**** place, it's Kenny McCormick, Master Shake, Edd and Ferb Fletcher. They remain in these positions going through turns 1 & 2…**

Joy: Kenny McCormick has the run off of turn 2 – he's in the lead!

…

McReynolds: Going into turn 3, now Edd teams with Master Shake, Shake pushes him into the lead going into turn 4.

Joy: And here they come onto the home stretch – Rainbow Dash has fallen way back, Master Shake tries to make a slingshot move… not in time! Edd wins the Sprint Unlimited!

Nazz: Awesome, Double-D!

Edd: YYEAH! This will provide our team with a substantial acquisition of morale. WOO!

**Edd wins the Sprint Unlimited – Master Shake settles for 2****nd****, Kenny McCormick finishes 3****rd****, Ferb Fletcher is 4****th****, Danny Phantom places 5****th****, Phineas Flynn gets 6****th****, Peter Griffin takes 7****th****, Timmy Turner claims 8****th****, Nigel Uno comes in 9****th****, and Ed rounds out the top 10.**

** As everyone else retires back to the garage area, Edd does some celebratory donuts in the tri oval; later on, he parks his #29 Budweiser Chevrolet in the Gatorade Victory Lane. He cheers amidst the flying confetti, and is then approached by FOX's Erin Andrews;**

Andrews: Edd, you're coming off of missing the Chase last year to win the Sprint Unlimited – how ya feelin' right now?

Edd: Oh, man – I certainly did not foresee this outcome! I was worried that Shake or someone else would get me before I crossed the line… but I persevered! Anyway, my confidence level has ascended greatly from achieving victory in this event; I just have to send gratitude to Richard Childress, Budweiser and our other sponsors, my pit crew, and Nazz, most of all.

Andrews: Awesome, well, great job out there.

Edd: Thanks.

Nazz: (flirtatious) Hey, winner! (kisses Edd on cheek)

Edd: (giggle) Nazz! Not in front of the camera!

Nazz: (flirtatious) I want 'em to see!

**Edd and Nazz then have their victory kiss.**

** Sprint Unlimited race results;**

**1. Edd (29)**

**2. Master Shake (55)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**5. Danny Phantom (16)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**7. Peter Griffin (93)**

**8. Timmy Turner (17)**

**9. Nigel Uno (1)**

**10. Ed (27)**

**11. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**12. Eddy (31)**

**13. William Murderface (47)**

**14. Eric Cartman (14)**

**15. Francine Smith (36)**

**16. Abigail Lincoln (5) (DNF; accident)**

**17. Butt-Head (48) (DNF; accident)**

**18. Beavis (24) (DNF; accident)**

**19. Stan Smith (7) (DNF; accident)**

**20. Twilight Sparkle (11) (DNF; accident)**

**21. Early Cuyler (21) (DNF; accident)**

**22. Bender (22) (DNF; accident)**

**23. Spongebob SquarePants (78) (DNF; accident)**

**24. Kim Possible (51) (DNF; accident)**

**25. Grim (33) (DNF; accident)**

**Next race; Budweiser Duel at Daytona International Speedway.**


	4. Budweiser Duel

** Now, before the Daytona 500, it's time for two more exhibition sprint races, collectively known as the Budweiser Duel!**

** Here's how it works; the Budweiser Duel is a pair of 60-lap qualifying races, held after the ordinary qualifying process of timed laps. The top two qualifiers are the only ones who have their positions locked in by the conventional qualifying process. The rest of the starting grid for the Daytona 500 will be determined by these two races; the first race will feature those who qualified in the odd positions, and the second race will feature those who qualified in the even positions.**

** So then, here will be the starting grid for the first Duel race;**

**1. Peter Griffin (93)***

**2. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**3. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**4. Homer Simpson (83)**

**5. Master Shake (55)**

**6. Kim Possible (51)**

**7. William Murderface (47)**

**8. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**9. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**10. Aang (35)**

**11. Grim (33)**

**12. Eddy (31)**

**13. Edd (29)**

**14. Ed (27)**

**15. Timmy Turner (17)**

**16. Frylock (15)**

**17. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**18. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**19. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**20. Stan Smith (7)**

**21. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**22. Nigel Uno (1)**

**(*) – Peter Griffin had the fastest qualifying lap; he'll start in the front row regardless of how he finishes here.**

** These races will be broadcast on SPEED Channel. Tuning onto them now;**

Joy: Welcome to NASCAR on SPEED! Speedweeks continues on this beautiful Thursday afternoon as we get set to run our qualifying races; the Budweiser Duel! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip. We'll start with you, D.W: Peter Griffin has won the pole already, so he'll start there regardless of where he finishes here. What do you do if you're in his position?

D.W: You know, it used to be that the Duel races counted as points races, so they were a much bigger deal back then... they still are, of course. But if I was in Peter's position, I'd just play it cool, don't be overly aggressive and perhaps try and stay out of the big packs if possible, in case they should pile up.

Joy: Furthermore, unlike the Sprint Unlimited, there will be no mandatory pit stop, but you'll still need to make one to go all the way. How do you go about that, Larry Mac?

McReynolds: The best thing to do is hope for a caution, unless, of course, you're caught up in it. The ideal time for the drivers for the caution to come out would be around lap 20-30, and then they could go the rest of the way. If not, then, well, I have no further comment.

Joy: Either way, these should be some great Duel races, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, giving the command from the seat of his racecar, the driver of the #83 Burger King Toyota, he is the defending Cartoon Cup Series champion, Homer Simpson!

Homer: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**Without hesitation, Homer and the other drivers in this duel race start up their engines and warm up – the pace car then leads them out.**

Joy: Now then, as you look at the starting grid on the bottom of your screen there, D.W's gonna try and contact our pole-sitter;

D.W: Peter Griffin, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

...

Lois: Remember, Peter; don't do anything drastic. Just stay out of trouble. It doesn't matter where we finish, we'll be on the pole, anyway.

Brian: I'll keep watch on the other cars for ya; and like Lois said, just stay out of trouble!

Peter: 10-4, guys.

...

D.W: Peter sounds like he's busy at the moment; you know what, screw it! That conversation answered all our questions, so there's no need to try and ring him up again, I don't think.

McReynolds: (shrug)

**After completing the pace laps, the pace car retreats to the pits. The cars continue to creep forward – then the green flag turns them loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

McReynolds: Look at that; Peter Griffin's already dropping to the back – he didn't even hook up with Homer, his teammate!

Joy: He's just being conservative and staying out of trouble, like Lois said.

**Right as the green flag flies, Peter Griffin begins to drop to the back of the field; he's already on the pole, so there's no need to be really racy. By the time the field gets to the backstretch, Peter has fallen to last place; he still stays with the cars in front of him to avoid falling out of the draft.**

** This hands the lead over to Dudley Puppy; he holds it in for 3 laps. It's then taken by Master Shake, who has drafting help from William Murderface. Murderface then does a slingshot move on lap 5 to take the lead from Shake.**

** Kenny McCormick breaks into the top 5 on lap 9.**

** On lap 14;**

Bart: #47 and #55 on your outside... you're clear, Dad! You're in the lead!

Homer: WOO-HOO!

Bart: Does this mean you'll start paying more attention to me?

Homer: Huh? What did you say?

Bart: Ugh!

**Homer Simpson, with Phineas Flynn right behind him, zooms by Master Shake and William Murderface to take the lead on lap 14. Then, on lap 20;**

Joy: Look at this; the #43 slingshots the #83 – Phineas Flynn takes the lead!

Homer: D'OH!

Isabella: Woo-hoo, go Phineas!

**Phineas Flynn takes the lead on lap 20, but 5 laps later;**

McReynolds: The #43 is around!

Joy: Homer Simpson made contact with Phineas and spun him; Phineas saves it, caution is out!

D.W: That looked totally intentional to me.

**On lap 25, while going through turn 2, Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford gets clipped in the left-rear by Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota. Phineas spins out as a result, but he's able to keep it off the wall as the caution flag flies.**

Joy: What do you do here, Larry?

McReynolds: Pit now! Pit here and you'll most certainly make it to the end.

**Indeed, everyone takes to the pits for four tires and fuel; the only pit stops they'll need. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Homer Simpson (83)**

**2. Master Shake (55)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**4. William Murderface (47)**

**5. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**6. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**7. Edd (29)**

**8. Aang (35)**

**9. Timmy Turner (17)**

**10. Kim Possible (51)**

**On lap 30;**

Joy: RESTART; 30 down, 30 to go, let's Crank It Up!

...

Dudley: YES, we're back in the lead!

**Dudley Puppy regains the lead on lap 35.**

** On lap 39, Gumball Watterson falls out of the top 10.**

** On lap 45;**

Joy: Get a load of this; Kenny McCormick is in the lead!

D.W: You think he'll die any more deaths this year?

McReynolds: (sarcastic) No, he'll never die!

**With help from Homer Simpson, Kenny McCormick regains the lead on lap 45.**

** Aang cracks the top 5 on lap 51. He then falls back out on lap 57 when Timmy Turner takes the spot from him.**

** The white flag flies on lap 60; Kenny McCormick is the race leader, Dudley Puppy is 2****nd****, Homer Simpson is 3****rd****, Edd is 4****th****, and Timmy Turner is 5****th****. Going down the backstretch;**

Joy: Timmy Turner gets a run down the backstretch-

McReynolds: Aang's drafting with him...

D.W: He takes the lead going into turn 3!

Timmy: Oh yeah, here we go!

**With help from Aang, Timmy Turner takes the lead going into turn 3. From here, he never looks back...**

Joy: Here they come onto the frontstretch. Aang has nothing left – nor does anyone else. Checkered flag is out, Timmy Turner wins the first Budweiser Duel!

Cosmo: Way to go, Timmy!

Timmy: I LOVE you guys! Woo!

**Timmy Turner wins the first Budweiser Duel; Aang finishes 2****nd****, Kenny McCormick takes 3****rd****, Homer Simpson is 4****th****, Edd claims 5****th****, Dudley Puppy comes in 6****th****, Eddy places 7****th****, Master Shake gets 8****th****, Grim finishes 9****th****, and Ed rounds out the top 10.**

** Budweiser Duel #1 race results;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Aang (35)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**4. Homer Simpson (83)**

**5. Edd (29)**

**6. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**7. Eddy (31)**

**8. Master Shake (55)**

**9. Grim (33)**

**10. Ed (27)**

**11. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**12. William Murderface (47)**

**13. Nigel Uno (1)**

**14. Stan Smith (7)**

**15. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**16. ** **Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**17. Frylock (15)**

**18. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**19. Kim Possible (51)**

**20. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**21. Peter Griffin (93)**

**22. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**...**

** Now this will be the starting line-up for the second Budweiser Duel race;**

**1. Ben Tennyson (10)***

**2. Foxxy Love (98)**

**3. Hank Hill (95)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**6. Meatwad (56)**

**7. Butt-Head (48)**

**8. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**9. Sokka (38)**

**10. Francine Smith (36)**

**11. Katara (34)**

**12. The Warden (32)**

**13. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**14. Beavis (24)**

**15. Bender (22)**

**16. Early Cuyler (21)**

**17. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**18. Applejack (18)**

**19. Danny Phantom (16)**

**20. Eric Cartman (14)**

**21. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**(*) – Ben Tennyson qualified 2****nd****; he'll start in this spot in the Daytona 500, regardless of where he finishes here.**

**Back to SPEED;**

Joy: Welcome back to SPEED, where our 2nd Duel race is about to get underway! Larry Mac, D.W., what exactly will be different here from the first Duel?

D.W: Mainly the track grip. The cars from the first duel laid a good deal of rubber onto the track, and that always inhibits grip. However, the track temp and ambient temp isn't as hot as it was in the first race; that always means better grip.

McReynolds: The pit strategy, however, should be the same. One pit stop, around lap 20-30, or even 40, should do it. And if a caution comes out during that timeframe, they're in the clear.

Joy: And with that, let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And once again, for the most famous words in motorsports, giving the command from her own car, the driver of the #42 Target Chevrolet, Ahsoka Tano!

Ahsoka: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines, and may the Force be with us all!

**All the cars fire up their engines, warm up, and are led out by the pace car.**

Joy: You should ring her up, D.W!

D.W: You got it! Hey Ahsoka, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

...

Ahsoka: Should I use the Force in this one?

Anakin: If I were you, I'd only use it to escape a crash, not to make anyone crash. I don't believe that is the Jedi way.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

...

D.W: Man, everyone seems too busy to talk to D.W!

McReynolds: It's Daytona Speedweeks, what do you expect?

**...**

** The pace car pulls off into the pits, and then...**

Joy: Green flag!

**Immediately, Ben Tennyson falls to the back of the field; his 2****nd**** place starting spot is already locked in, and he doesn't want to risk running into any trouble.**

**Ahsoka Tano enters the top 5 on lap 6.**

** On lap 11;**

Joy: Foxxy Love's in the lead!

Clara: What do you know? Black people CAN drive!

Foxxy: Shut the fuck up!

**Foxxy Love, with Daria Morgendorffer right behind her, takes the lead on lap 11.**

** Rainbow Dash, with Applejack behind her, goes into the top 10 on lap 16.**

** On lap 22;**

Joy: We got smoke on the backstretch!

McReynolds: The #30 of Jake Long has lost its engine!

Jake: Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me! Now we'll need the damn backup car!

Spud: Relax, Jake. We'll get through the 500.

D.W: Man, what tough luck for the rookie!

**On lap 22, Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota blows its engine. Jake is able to coast back around, onto pit road and into the garage area, and retires from the race.**

** Meanwhile, the rest of the cars take four tires and fuel in the pits; it will be their only pit stop of the race. The following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Foxxy Love (98)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**3. Butt-Head (48)**

**4. Meatwad (56)**

**5. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**6. Hank Hill (95)**

**7. Katara (34)**

**8. Sokka (38)**

**9. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**The race is restarted on lap 28.**

**On lap 33...**

McReynolds: Hey, look at this; Katara and Sokka are drafting together, and past everyone in front of them!

Joy: Katara is in the lead; Sokka is in 2nd right behind her.

Katara: Hey, thanks for that, bro! We're so takin' this one!

**Katara and Sokka come up from 7****th**** and 8****th**** to take the lead on lap 33.**

** Spongebob SquarePants falls out of the top 10 on lap 40. Hank Hill fololws suit the following lap.**

** On lap 42...**

Joy: Caution out for the 2nd time.

McReynolds: The #36 has blown a tire!

Francine: Dammit, how could I have blown a tire?

Steve: I don't know. Maybe you hit a sharp chunk of asphalt or something.

Francine: Oh, whatever.

**On lap 42, Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet blows the left-front tire going through turn 4. Fortunately, she's able to make it to the pits without crashing. She gets a fresh set of left-side tires and gets back out on the track, still on the lead lap.**

** No one else pits; we restart on lap 46.**

** Hoagie Gilligan makes it into the top 10 on lap 50.**

** On lap 55...**

Joy: Ahsoka Tano is on the inside with no help!

McReynolds: But she's got a great run out of turn 4...

D.W: Ahsoka Tano takes the lead!

Ahsoka: I got 'em!

Anakin: Great, Snips. Don't get cocky.

**With no drafting help, Ahsoka Tano takes the lead on lap 55.**

** She's still in the lead when the white flag flies on lap 60. Butt-Head makes it up to 2****nd**** going down the backstretch. Ahsoka retains the lead coming off of turn 4, then...**

Joy: Butt-Head's goin' for it, side-by-side with Ahsoka, HE"S GOT HER! Butt-Head wins the second Budweiser Duel!

Butt-Head: Alright, we've won this stupid thing!

Ahsoka: (sigh)

Anakin: Hey, don't feel bad. We're starting 6th in the 500 – last I checked, that was a good thing!

Ahsoka: Yeah, I guess you're right.

**Butt-Head slips by Ahsoka Tano to win the second Budweiser Duel; Ahsoka will settle for 2****nd****. Katara places 3****rd****, Sokka is 4****th****, Meatwad finishes 5****th****, Hoagie Gilligan claims 6****th****, Daria Morgendorffer takes 7****th****, Foxxy Love gets 8****th****, Beavis comes in 9****th****, and rounding out the top 10 is Rainbow Dash.**

** Budweiser Duel #2 race results;**

**1. Butt-Head (48)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**3. Katara (34)**

**4. Sokka (34)**

**5. Meatwad (56)**

**6. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**8. Foxxy Love (98)**

**9. Beavis (24)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**11. Applejack (18)**

**12. Danny Phantom (16)**

**13. Eric Cartman (14)**

**14. Hank Hill (95)**

**15. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**16. Bender (22)**

**17. Early Cuyler (21)**

**18. The Warden (32)**

**19. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**20. Francine Smith (36)**

**21. Jake Long (30) [R] (DNF; engine)**

**The next chapter will feature The Great American Race, the Daytona 500!**


	5. Daytona 500

** And now that everything else is out of the way, it is, at last, time for the Great American Race, the Daytona 500! You should, from the Sprint Unlimited, already know about the track, so all that's left to say is that this race will be 500 laps long, run over 200 laps.**

** The sky is overcast, but none of the clouds are rain clouds. For the drivers, this is a win-win; no rain delays, and the cooler temperatures equal better track grip!**

** And now, presenting the starting grid, as determined by the Budweiser Duel races;**

**1. Peter Griffin (93)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**3. Timmy Turner (17)**

**4. Butt-Head (48)**

**5. Aang (35)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**7. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**8. Katara (34)**

**9. Homer Simpson (83)**

**10. Sokka (38)**

**11. Edd (29)**

**12. Meatwad (56)**

**13. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**14. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**15. Eddy (31)**

**16. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**17. Master Shake (55)**

**18. Foxxy Love (98)**

**19. Grim (33)**

**20. Beavis (24)**

**21. Ed (27)**

**22. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**23. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**24. Applejack (18)**

**25. William Murderface (47)**

**26. Danny Phantom (16)**

**27. Nigel Uno (1)**

**28. Eric Cartman (14)**

**29. Stan Smith (7)**

**30. Hank Hill (95)**

**31. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**32. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**33. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**34. Bender (22)**

**35. Frylock (15)**

**36. Early Cuyler (21)**

**37. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**38. The Warden (32)**

**39. Kim Possible (51)**

**40. Francine Smith (36)**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**42. Jake Long [R] (30) (To the rear: engine change)**

**43. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**FOX?**

Joy: The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series has returned! Our first season was a wild one, with crazy cartoon powers, intense racing, and a heated super-close fight to the finish. And now, we have a few new faces, and many of the same old ones as these cartoons come back together to compete in season 2 of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, starting with the Great American Race, the Daytona 500! Welcome to the race, I'm Mike Joy, and with me as always, Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip. First of all, guys, how do you expect this season to be different from the last one?

McReynolds: If anything, I expect there to be more powers in use here. Word is, NASCAR is implementing rules similar to those of the 'boys, have at it' era, letting them get away with much more. And to add to that, two of our rookies; Jake Long can actually transform into a dragon, and Ahsoka Tano is a real honest-to-god Jedi! The rest should be self-explanatory.

Joy: Speaking of rookies, Darrell, who do you like this year?

D.W: Definitely Ahsoka Tano. Sure, she's a Jedi, but she's also signed with a top team in Earnhardt-Ganassi Racing; they came real close to the championship last year with Nigel Uno. The #42 team had a dismal year back then with Alejandro, but I believe Ahsoka will pull them up from that.

McReynolds: Yeah, and she could use her Force ESP to sense out other cars around her, Force push some of them out of the way, maybe slash some tires with her lightsaber, or, dare I say it, use a Jedi Mind Trick!

Joy: Perhaps. Well, you're about to see that anything is possible in this series, especially here at Daytona, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome one of the most notorious comic book supervillians known to man, the Joker!

Joker: Ladies and gentletoons... why so SERIOUS! But seriously, start your engines.

...

Joy: And now let's see what sort of starting grid the Budweiser Duels have come up with; on the pole is Peter Griffin, and Ben Tennyson, coming off a dismal first season with Robinson-Blakeney Racing will start 2nd. Last year's Daytona 500 polesitter Timmy Turner is 3rd this year, and Butt-Head, who just missed the Chase last year, is 3rd. In 5th spot is the airbender Aang, and the rookie Ahsoka Tano will roll out in 6th. Kenny McCormick, after dying so many deaths in the first season, will start 7th, and rolling off from 8th is the waterbender Katara. Defending series champion Homer Simpson will start the race in 9th place, and Katara's brother Sokka will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid, D.W. will try and contact our outside pole-sitter;

D.W: Ben Tennyson, it's D.W. from FOX Sports, you got a copy?

Ben: Yep.

D.W: Good! No one would talk to me in the Budweiser Duels! But seriously, how do you feel, starting from scratch with Stewart-Haas Racing?

Ben: Man, last season was a bust! It's no wonder Robinson-Blakeney Racing is no longer in Cup. I admit, I'm still amazed that Tony Stewart put me, of all people, on his team. But I think it's the perfect chance for me to reinvent myself; and personally, I think I should've been driving the #10 car all along. After all, I'm Ben TENnyson!

D.W: You certainly are. And now that you've gone from dead last in the standings to starting on the outside pole, what do you plan to do.

Ben: Really, I wish I could just hold get ahead of Peter and hold him and everyone else off all the way through. But you can't do that at Daytona, so I'm just going to try and stay out of trouble, and do the best I can at the end.

D.W: Well thanks for speaking with us, and good luck with that.

Ben: Alright, 10-4.

Mike: Erin Andrews?

Andrews: Mike, our defending champion Homer Simpson seems to have become more cocky and arrogant than ever before. This may be in part due to the fact that he's had a strong car all week long and has a top 10 starting spot today. As he told me in his own words, "We're gonna win out!" Matt Yocum?

Yocum: Erin, I spoke with the rookie Ahsoka Tano earlier today, and she was much more modest than Homer. She seems like she believes she can win this, but she still wasn't really clear with me. She just said something about her master saying that arrogance was not the Jedi way, or something? Who cares? Krista Voda?

Voda: Matt, someone who is in a bit of a pickle is last year's Daytona 500 winner, Twilight Sparkle. She wrecked out of the Sprint Unlimited, and is starting 33rd in the race. Neither she nor Rarity really had anything to say to me; they're hoping to get through it all untouched. Steve Byrnes?

Byrnes: Krista, I spoke with both Peter and Lois Griffin; they say that they're going to stay up front as much as they can, while still trying to play it cool. They plan to become gradually more aggressive as the race goes on. Back to you, Mike.

**...**

** As the pace car pulls off onto pit road, the 43 cars** **advance slowly forward, then the green flag turns them loose, signifying the start of a new season.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**By lap 3, Ben Tennyson has fallen back to 5****th****.**

** For several laps, Timmy Turner, with Aang drafting with him, runs side-by-side with Peter Griffin, trying to take the lead away. Peter, however, is having none of it. But on lap 11;**

Wanda: You've cleared the #93, you're in the lead.

Timmy: 10-4, awesome!

**Rainbow Dash makes it into the top 15 on lap 16.**

** Peter Griffin falls out of the top 5 on lap 22.**

** On lap 25;**

Joy: We got smoke in turn 4.

McReynolds: It's the #87 of Gumball Watterson! He's lost his engine.

Gumball: Really? Now, of all times?

Darwin: Well, I guess there's nothing more we can do from here.

Gumball: (sigh)

** On lap 25, Gumball Watterson's #87 AM FM Energy Toyota blows its engine. Gumball despondently coasts back into the garage area, putting an end to this day.**

** On lap 31, Ben Tennyson, with drafting help from Ahsoka Tano, comes back up through the field.**

Ben: It's hero time, guys!

Joy: Ben Tennyson's in the lead!

D.W: Great job there, working with the rookie.

**On lap 34, Timmy Turner retakes the lead, with no drafting help.**

** On lap 41…**

Joy: We got a trouble in turn 2!

McReynolds: A few cars in the back have crashed; Bender, Early Cuyler and Spongebob SquarePants.

D.W: And the caution is out.

**On lap 41, Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford, Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford and Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet all make contact, lose control and crash. No one else gets caught up in it, but the wrecked cars are unable to continue. Nether Bender, Early nor Spongebob are hurt; they're all taken to the infield care center as their wrecked cars are towed away.**

** The surviving cars make their first pit stops of the race here; everyone gets four tires and fuel. The top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**4. Homer Simpson (83)**

**5. Edd (29)**

**6. Meatwad (56)**

**7. Peter Griffin (93)**

**8. Aang (35)**

**9. Butt-Head (48)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (20)**

Joy: Hoagie Gilligan, too fast exiting the pits!

Hoagie: THAT IS A LOAD OF BULLCRAP!

Wally: Nothin' I can do about it – just do the drive-thru.

Hoagie: Damn… 10-4.

…

Joy: RESTART, on lap 46, let's Crank It Up!

…

Homer: WOO-HOO!

McReynolds: Homer Simpson's in the lead with Peter right behind him!

**On lap 50, Homer Simpson jumps into the lead; Peter Griffin claims 2****nd****.**

** Danny Phantom makes it into the top 10 on lap 56.**

** On lap 60…**

Brian: You've cleared the #83.

Bart: The #93 is clear.

Peter: Freakin' sweet!

Homer: D'OH!

…**Homer and Peter swap positions, putting Peter in the lead.**

**Then on lap 64, Danny Phantom gets up into the top 5. He gets in the middle, where Timmy Turner gives him a push up to Homer and Peter…**

Tucker: Cars on both sides, you have nowhere to go!

Danny: Just you watch!

…

D.W: What the…

McReynolds: We've seen this before; Danny Phantom has ghosted his car!

Joy: There he goes; Danny Phantom is in the lead!

Sam: Woo-hoo! Go Danny!

D.W: You know who I'm gonna call? Ghostbusters!

McReynolds: That was pretty below the belt, Darrell.

**Going down the backstretch on lap 64, Danny Phantom ghosts his car and drives right through Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin, taking the lead.**

** Eddy makes it into the top 10 on lap 70.**

** Twilight Sparkle reaches the top 10 on lap 76.**

** On lap 83...**

D.W: Two cars in the wall, guys!

Joy: Hank Hill and The Warden have crashed; we have a caution.

McReynolds: And here again; this caution came out right when everyone had to pit, so expect to see everyone come in.

**On lap 83, Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford and The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford get loose, make contact and go into the wall in turn 3. Both cars have been left unable to continue.**

** The surviving cars once again make four tires and fuel on this stop. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Danny Phantom (16)**

**2. Homer Simpson (83)**

**3. Timmy Turner (17)**

**4. Peter Griffin (93)**

**5. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**6. Eddy (31)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**8. Aang (35)**

**9. Edd (29)**

**10. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**The race is restarted on lap 90. Danny Phantom and Timmy Turner both get a head start and pull a ways away from the field, but Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin pull up alongside then on lap 94.**

**Nigel Uno finds his way in the top 10 on lap 100.**

** On lap 103, Rainbow Dash gets behind Ahsoka Tano;**

McReynolds: Look at this – the #20 and the #42 are coming up the middle-

D.W: I think they got 'em!

Joy: They slip past the Roush and BK cars; the rookie Ahsoka Tano is in the lead!

Anakin: The Force is with us, Snips!

Ahsoka: Well, that and the #20 car.

Both: (chuckle)

**Then, on lap 109;**

D.W: Here comes the #20 with a slingshot move-

Joy: Rainbow Dash is in the lead!

Rainbow Dash: 'Bout time, don't you think?

Fluttershy: Mm-hmm.

**Aang falls out of the top 10 on lap 115.**

** Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle is struggling to make it into the top 15. On lap 120, going into turn 1, her horn starts to glow...**

McReynolds: BIG pile-up in turn 1!

Joy: Meatwad, Aang, Hoagie Gilligan, Grim, Daria Morgendorffer and Ed have all crashed in turn 1! Can't really tell what caused it.

D.W: I think I have an idea...

Daria: Really? That just HAD to happen!

Hoagie: First a speeding penalty, now this?

Aang: Damn, I should've done some airbending!

Meatwad: MOTHERFUCKIN' COCKSUCKERS! GODDAMMIT!

Grim: I just know the #11 had something to do with this, mon!

Ed: ...

**Twilight Sparkle uses some pony magic to try and get by Meatwad; the result is a 6-car pile-up, involving Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota, Aang's #35 Morristown Driver's Service Ford, Hoagie Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Dodge, Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet, Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet and Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet. All these cars are totaled.**

Twilight: (cackles)

** Everyone else yet again gets four tires and fuel in the pits. And so this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**3. Homer Simpson (83)**

**4. Danny Phantom (16)**

**5. Peter Griffin (93)**

**6. Timmy Turner (17)**

**7. Edd (29)**

**8. Eddy (31)**

**9. Nigel Uno (1)**

**10. Katara (34)**

**Due to the amount of time needed to clean up the track, the race doesn't restart until lap 130.**

Joy: Let's Crank It Up!

**...**

** Nigel Uno enters the top 5 on lap 137. Meanwhile, Kenny McCormick loses the draft and falls off the pace...**

**On lap 145, Timmy Turner makes it to 3****rd****. On lap 149;**

McReynolds: Here comes Timmy Turner to the inside!

Wanda: You've cleared the #20 and the #42; you've got the lead!

Timmy: Alright!

**Eddy falls out of the top 10 on lap 154.**

** By lap 160, Kenny McCormick is about to go a lap down. But he moves in front of Timmy Turner going into turn 1, picking up the draft and staying on the lead lap. Timmy tries to get around and lap him, but Kenny holds on. Then, going into turn 3...**

Timmy: I wish this damn lapped car would get out of my way!

Cosmo/Wands: You got it!

...

Commentators: OH MY GOD!

Joy: Kenny McCormick just spontaneous went airborne, over the catch-fence-

McReynolds: HE'S FLYING OUT TO THE DISTANCE! I can't even tell where he crashed!

D.W: I'm sorry, but I have no logical explanation for why that happened!

Joy: And why the hell are we still under green?

McReynolds: NASCAR's sayin' there are no dangerous on-track conditions right now-

D.W: THEY SHOULD STOP THE DAMN RACE! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**On lap 163;**

Joy: Caution is out for debris in turn 1.

D.W: Funny; I thought it would be in turn 3.

McReynolds: At least we'll have a 30-lap shootout; those are always exciting.

**During the caution, everyone gets four tires and fuel for their last pit stops of the race. The following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**3. Homer Simpson (83)**

**4. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**5. Nigel Uno (1)**

**6. Danny Phantom (16)**

**7. Peter Griffin (93)**

**8. Sokka (38)**

**9. Katara (34)**

**10. Master Shake (55)**

**We restart on lap 166.**

** On lap 169;**

Bart: You're clear – you're in the lead!

Homer: WOO-HOO!

Bart: Give me credit; I was the one who cleared you.

Homer: Huh? What?

Bart: Oh, for God's sake!

**Katara falls out of the top 10 on lap 174. Sokka follows suit on lap 180.**

**Peter Griffin gets back in the top 5 on lap 185. Danny Phantom follows suit on lap 189.**

**...**

** Homer Simpson takes the white flag on lap 200, leading a four-car breakaway with Danny Phantom, Peter Griffin and Ahsoka Tano. For much of the final lap, they remain in this order. Then, going into turn 3...**

Commentators: OH!

McReynolds: Homer Simpson's blown a tire!

Homer: You've gotta be shittin' me! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKIN' SHITTING ME!

Joy: And here comes Danny Phantom, Peter Griffin and Ahsoka Tano-

D.W: Where did the #42 come from?

**Homer Simpson blows the right-rear tire going into turn 3. He lets off the throttle and lets the car climb the banking while venting out his frustrations. Meanwhile, the other three cars he was running with go on to the finish;**

Joy: Ford, Toyota, Chevy, off the final corner. Danny Phantom is in the lead. Peter falls back a bit, here comes Ahsoka to the inside...

D.W: SHE'S GOT 'EM! SHE'S GOT 'EM!

Joy: Ahsoka Tano wins the Daytona 500!

Ahsoka: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AM I DREAMING RIGHT NOW?

Anakin: No, you're not! We just won the Daytona 500!

...

**After doing some donuts in the tri-oval, Ahsoka Tano parks her car in Victory Lane. She gets out of her car and stands proud, igniting her lightsaber and striking a victorious pose with it while everyone cheers.**

**...**

Yocum: Ahsoka Tano, winning the Daytona 500 on your very first try, just what is going through your mind right now?

Ahsoka: Suck it, Trevor Bayne! (chuckle) That wasn't appropriate. Man, I know a lot of people are gonna call me a lucky bastard, what with Homer blowing his tire back there, but let's face it; they'd be sayin' the same about Peter or Danny if one of them won, heh heh! As for me, I just made my move when I saw the chance, and made it pay off. I just have to say thanks to Earnhardt-Ganassi Racing for the opportunity, our sponsors, mainly Target, and of course I'd like to thank my Master, Anakin. Oh, and I gotta thank the Force, for being with us through it all. And boy, am I looking forward to Phoenix!

Yocum: Alright, well awesome job, Ahsoka.

Ahsoka: Thanks.

Yocum: Mike?

**Daytona 500 race results;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**2. Danny Phantom (16)**

**3. Peter Griffin (93)**

**4. Nigel Uno (1)**

**5. Homer Simpson (83)**

**6. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**7. Timmy Turner (17)**

**8. Master Shake (55)**

**9. Edd (29)**

**10. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**11. Eddy (31)**

**12. Katara (34)**

**13. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**14. Abigail Lincoln (88)**

**15. Beavis (24)**

**16. Butt-Head (48)**

**17. Eric Cartman (14)**

**18. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**19. Foxxy Love (98)**

**20. Sokka (38)**

**21. Applejack (18)**

**22. Kim Possible (51)**

**23. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**24. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**25. Frylock (15)**

**26. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**27. William Murderface (47)**

**28. Stan Smith (7)**

**29. Francine Smith (36)**

**30. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**31. Kenny McCormick (39) (DNF; accident)**

**32. Ed (27) (DNF; accident)**

**33. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2) (DNF; accident)**

**34. Grim (33) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Meatwad (56) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Aang (26) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Hank Hill (95) (DNF; accident)**

**39. The Warden (32) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Spongebob SquarePants (78) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Early Cuyler (21) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Bender (22) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Gumball Watterson (DNF; engine)**

**Point standings after 1 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (42); 47 points**

**2. Danny Phantom (16); 43 points**

**3. Peter Griffin (93)/Homer Simpson (83); 41 points**

**5. Nigel Uno (1); 40 points**

**6. Rainbow Dash (20); 39 points**

**7. Timmy Turner (17); 38 points**

**8. Master Shake (55); 36 points**

**9. Edd (29); 35 points**

**10. Dudley Puppy (99); 34 points**

**11. Eddy (31); 33 points**

**12. Katara (34); 32 points**

**13. Twilight Sparkle (11); 31 points**

**14. Abigail Lincoln (5); 30 points**

**15. Beavis (24); 29 points**

**16. Butt-Head (48); 28 points**

**17. Eric Cartman (14)/Ben Tennyson (10); 27 points**

**19. Foxxy Love (98); 25 points**

**20. Sokka (38); 24 points**

**21. Applejack (18); 23 points**

**22. Kim Possible (51); 22 points**

**23. Phineas Flynn (43); 21 points**

**24. Ferb Fletcher (9); 20 points**

**25. Frylock (15); 19 points**

**26. Jake Long [R] (30); 18 points**

**27. William Murderface (47); 17 points**

**28. Stan Smith (7); 16 points**

**29. Francine Smith (36); 15 points**

**30. Hank Venture [R] (13); 14 points**

**31. Kenny McCormick (39); 13 points**

**32. Ed (27); 12 points**

**33. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2); 11 points**

**34. Grim (33); 10 points**

**35. Meatwad (56); 9 points**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88); 8 points**

**37. Aang (35); 7 points**

**38. Hank Hill (95); 6 points**

**39. The Warden (32); 5 points**

**40. Spongebob SquarePants (78); 4 points**

**41. Early Cuyler (21); 3 points**

**42. Bender (22); 2 points**

**43. Gumball Watterson (87); 1 point**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (42); 21 points**

**2. Jake Long (30); 10 points**

**3. Hank Venture (13); 9 points**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer (88); 8 points**

**Next race; Subway Fresh Fit 500 at Phoenix International Raceway.**


	6. Daytona 500 Aftermath

The Daytona 500 had a very intense finish. There was, at the end, a four-car breakaway. Homer was leading, but then he blew a tire going into the final two turns. He fell back to 5th, and Ahsoka Tano, in her very first start, went on to win the Daytona 500.

Homer became very infuriated the moment the right-rear tire went out. Now, after the race is over, both he and his wife/crew chief Marge Simpson are still very upset over the outcome of the race. As the post-race festivities and Ahsoka's victory celebration are still going on, Homer and Marge are both in their team's garage, bickering about what happened;

"I don't fucking believe it!" roars Homer. "We were this close, THIS CLOSE, to winning the fuckin' Daytona 500! And that damn tire just had to blow out!" He stares down Marge almost as if he's indicating that she's to blame.

"What the hell are you looking at me for?" Marge shoots back. "I had nothing to do with that tire going out!"

"Well, it's YOUR job to keep the damn pit crew in line?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it wasn't them; why would they tamper with their own racecar?"

"Well then WHO WAS IT?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?"

After this, Homer and Marge's argument degenerates into cross-talk, each side yelling at the other a different nonsensical explanation as to why the tire blew out.

Meanwhile Bart Simpson, their son and the spotter for the #83 Burger King Toyota, just stands there, helplessly watching them bicker. Finally, he manages to get to them; "SHUT UP!"

Homer and Marge instantly stop yelling and each other and turn to face their son.

"Look," says Bart, "I don't think anyone messed with the tire, or any other part of the car. My best guess is that Dad ran over something."

"Well YOU'RE the spotter!" shouts Homer. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me something was there?"

"How was I supposed to see this from way the hell up there?" Bart protests.

"I don't know… binoculars!" Marge says.

"He already has a pair!" Homer shouts back.

"Well he didn't use them well enough!" retorts Marge.

With that, Homer and Marge's arguing once again degenerates into unconstructive cross-talk. Bart gives up on them and sneaks out of the garage without either of his parents noticing.

…

Meanwhile Fluttershy, crew chief of Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, is resting easy while the rest of the team packs up. Rainbow Dash finished 6th in the 500; could've done better, but still a good performance nonetheless. Anyway, Fluttershy is roused up from her dozing when she notices someone coming for her.

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy!" Bart calls out. He frantically runs up and stops right in front of her. "Relax, take it easy," replies Fluttershy. "What's going on?"

"Well," says Bart, "my parents are really upset about blowing that tire and losing the race. They've been arguing nonstop about how it happened. I tried to tell them that Dad probably ran over something, but they blamed me for not warning him of it. I snuck out while they were fighting, and I came and found you, because… I have no one else to turn to!"

"Oh my!" replies a shocked Fluttershy. "Winning a championship really made them go around like THAT?"

"Mm-hmm," Bart whimpers.

Fluttershy sits down beside Bart, opens her arms and says, "Well, let me give you a hug." Bart falls into Fluttershy's arms as she softly rubs his back in an attempt to soothe him. Bart, meanwhile, is not crying, but the nature of his parents' bickering has really made him feel a significant tug at his heart, so he really needs his embrace.

…

When Bart feels better, he and Fluttershy pull apart. "I tell you," he says, "it's like I don't even exist. Even Lisa, my sister; she's always been the favorite, and they seem to have even stopped caring about her!"

"Man," replies Fluttershy, "I knew material things made people bad, but not THAT bad!"

"And me and Lisa have each other," adds Bart, "but I don't know what to do!"

"Hmm," Fluttershy thinks. After a moment, she opens up her arms and envelops Bart in another embrace. This time, she prays, "Celestia, if you can hear me, please watch over this boy. His parents are lost right now, and he and his sister are feeling very lonely and shut-out. Please help him and his sister to find peace in each other, and PLEASE allow his parents to come around so they can be a family again. In the meantime, please help me have guidance so I can help see him through all this."

Fluttershy continues to hold Bart in her arms for several more moments, then they pull apart. "I hope that works!" says Bart.

"You're in good hands!" Fluttershy smiles, bringing a smile to Bart's face.

"Hey Fluttershy, come on!" Rainbow Dash says from a ways away. "The team's leavin'!"

"Remember, I'll still be here for you," Fluttershy says to Bart as she starts to leave. "See ya!

"Smell ya later!" replies Bart. After they part ways, he very timidly heads back to the #83 garage, hoping his parents have calmed down by now…


	7. Subway Fresh Fit 500

** It was a great start to the 2****nd**** Cartoon Cup season with the Daytona 500; now we go across the country to Arizona, to Phoenix International Raceway, for the Subway Fresh Fit 500! Phoenix International Raceway is a 1-mile D-shaped tri-oval. Unlike all the other tri-ovals, the start/finish line is located on the straightaway, and the tri-oval on this track is more commonly known as the "dogleg." Turns 1 & 2 and the backstretch are banked at 10-12 degrees, turns 3 & 4 are banked at 8-9 degrees, and the frontstretch is banked at 3 degrees.**

** The race will be 500 kilometers long (actually 502.115 km), which is the equivalent of 312 miles. The weather is very hot, without a cloud in the sky, as it usually is in the desert.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Eric Cartman (14)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**3. Butt-Head (48)**

**4. Stan Smith (7)**

**5. Meatwad (56)**

**6. Bender (22)**

**7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**8. Frylock (15)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**10. Francine Smith (36)**

**11. Nigel Uno (1)**

**12. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**13. Peter Griffin (93)**

**14. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**15. Danny Phantom (16)**

**16. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**17. Eddy (31)**

**18. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**19. Beavis (24)**

**20. Homer Simpson (83)**

**21. Master Shake (55)**

**22. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**23. Edd (29)**

**24. Grim (33)**

**25. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**26. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**27. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**28. Ed (27)**

**29. Timmy Turner (17)**

**30. Applejack (18)**

**31. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**32. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**33. Aang (35)**

**34. William Murderface (47)**

**35. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**36. Early Cuyler (21)**

**37. Katara (34)**

**38. The Warden (32)**

**39. Hank Hill (95)**

**40. Kim Possible (51)**

**41. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**42. Sokka (38)**

**43. Foxxy Love (98)**

**Tuning to FOX;**

Joy: History was made in last week's Daytona 500, when a rookie named Ahsoka Tano, in her very first start, won the race, beating Jamie McMurray and Trevor Bayne's record. Now the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series has gone almost from coast to coast, to Phoenix International Raceway for the running of the Subway Fresh Fit 500! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy – with me is Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip. Guys, we're on a much different track with much different weather; how are these new cars gonna handle it?

McReynolds: It's certainly a much different beast; less distance, no restrictor plates, no drafting, and much different weather. It's much hotter, so this means that there'll be less grip, so the cars will be much more liable to fishtail through the turns, and God forbid, spin out and cause a big crash.

D.W: Plus, it's harder to come back if you do mess up. This track is only a mile long, as opposed to two-and-a-half miles. It's much easier to go multiple laps down here, so if you make that big of a rookie mistake, mental error, or whatever, you're pretty much screwed.

Joy: And it really should be interesting to see how this plays out, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome one of the most beloved cartoon dogs of all time, Scooby-Doo!

Scooby: Radies and rentletoons, rart your rengines!

**And the cars start their engines; they have no restrictor plates this time, so they're twice as powerful. Then they're led out onto the pace laps.**

Joy: Stewart-Haas Racing has two cars up front with Eric Cartman on the pole and Kenny McCormick in 2nd. The #48 of Butt-Head is 3rd, and in 4th is the CIA agent, Stan Smith. The piece of meat known as Meatwad is 5th, and the robot Bender will start 6th. In 7th is the Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan, and in 8th is Meatwad's teammate, Frylock. Richard Petty's own Ferb Fletcher starts 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is Stan Smith's wife, Francine. As you look through the rest of the starting gird, D.W's on the phone;

D.W: Danny Phantom, it's D.W. from FOX Sports, you got a copy, buddy?

Danny: Yeah, 10-4.

D.W: Man, you had quite a Daytona 500; you went ghost on one occasion, came just short of winning the thing, and now you're starting 15th here. How do you plan on attacking this track?

Danny: By going ghost, of course! (laughs) No actually, I'll only do that if a car's in my way. I'm just going to pass everyone as fairly as I can; if there's no other way to do it or if there's a wreck up ahead… then I'm going ghost!

D.W: And how would you say this Gen-6 car is handling this track?

Danny: It'd be better if it was cooler and we had cloud cover. The track's pretty slick, and with this new car, it's been tough figuring it out. But we have an OK car, and I guess we'll see where that gets us?

D.W: Well good luck with that.

Danny: Thanks.

**After finishing the pace laps, the pace car retreats to the pits… then the green flag turns the cars loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

...

Wendy: You're clear of the #14. You're in the lead.

Kenny: Mmf-pm.

**On the dogleg, Kenny McCormick takes the lead on the first lap. He gradually builds up a sizable lead.**

** Meanwhile, Eric Cartman isn't doing so well. Butt-Head slips by him on lap 4. Stan Smith follows suit on lap 9. Then it's Meatwad on lap 12. By lap 17, thanks to Bender, Cartman has fallen out of the top 5.**

Cartman: What the fuck is wrong with this car?

Kyle: Don't worry – we'll work on it and come back.

Cartman: Asshole.

**On lap 25, Jake Long enters the top 10.**

** Ferb Fletcher falls out of the top 10 on lap 33.**

** Meanwhile, we have a battle for 2****nd****, between Butt-Head and Stan Smith. Try as Stan may, Butt-Head viciously holds him off; Stan feels the urge to pull his gun, but he doesn't. Rather, on lap 40, he gives him a bump entering turn 1;**

Joy: Whoa, the #48 car almost lost it!

D.W: It cost him a position, too.

Butt-Head: Goddammit!

Stan: Oh hell yeah!

**After clearing Butt-Head, Stan Smith starts to catch Kenny McCormick, slowly but steadily. By lap 49, it's a battle for the lead. Kenny holds him off rather well; then on lap 55, Stan tries to make a move to Kenny's outside, going through turn 3;**

Joy: For the lead…

McReynolds: And Stan almost spun out there!

D.W: Now he's gonna have to chase him back down!

Stan: Oh, you gotta be kidding me! That is bullshit!

Roger: You'll get him back, just like you got all those terrorists.

**Hoagie Gilligan moves into the 5 on lap 60.**

** Meanwhile, Katara has struggling to get into the top 30. Master Shake has been giving her an extremely difficult time with that. By lap 67, she becomes totally fed up, and starts to wave her hand around outside the window…**

Joy: Big trouble in the dogleg!

McReynolds: The #55 is somehow losing all its fluids – now it's spun out; Master Shake is head-on in the wall!

D.W: Don't ask me how that happened, because I don't now.

Katara: That's one down.

Zuko: (cackling)

Shake: What the hell just happened?

Ignignokt: How the hell should I know?

Shake: Shit!

**On lap 67, using her waterbending powers, Katara causes all the fluids inside Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota to burst out. Oil, fuel, brake fluid, power steering fluid, and differential fluid, amongst others, all erupt out of the car like geysers, leaving trails of fluid on the track. Shake, unable to maintain control, spins and goes head-on into the inside retaining wall; his car is out of commission.**

** Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford, running 1 lap down in 32****nd****, gets the free pass.**

** Everyone goes into the pits for four tires and fuel during this caution. Everything goes smoothly, and so here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**2. Stan Smith (7)**

**3. Meatwad (56)**

**4. Bender (22)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**6. Butt-Head (48)**

**7. Francine Smith (36)**

**8. Nigel Uno (1)**

**9. Frylock (15)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**On lap 75;**

Joy: Green flag, let's Crank it Up!

…

**On lap 84;**

McReynolds: He makes the pass – Stan Smith's in the lead!

Roger: Nice pass, buddy!

Stan: We're on our way! Fuck yeah!

**Stan's wife, Francine, makes it into the top 5 on lap 91.**

** A battle for 15****th**** begins on around lap 95, between Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano. Rainbow Dash has the 15****th**** spot and is defending it, but then, on lap 103, Ahsoka gives her a shunt in the rear, allowing her to get by.**

Rainbow Dash: Damn Jedi!

Anakin: Was that really necessary, Ahsoka?

Ahsoka: How else was I gonna pass her?

Anakin: I, uh, I don't know.

**Jake Long falls out of the top 10 on lap 111.**

** On lap 120, Francine Smith makes it up to 2****nd****. By lap 126, she's caught her husband, Stan. The two race each other hard for a number of laps; then Francine takes the lead on lap 133.**

Francine: What do you know, I'm leading!

Stan: Wow, she really can drive.

**On lap 140…**

Joy: There's a pile-up in turn 2!

D.W: Edd, Abigail Lincoln and Homer Simpson are all in it – caution is out.

McReynolds: And those cars are all totaled.

Homer: GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT! These cocksuckers can't drive for shit! Fuck!

**A crash occurs on lap 140, taking Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet, Abigail Lincoln's #5 Farmer's Insurance Chevrolet and Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota all out of the race.**

** Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford, running 1 lap down in 26****th****, gets the free pass.**

** After pit stops (all get four tires and fuel), this will be the top 10;**

**1. Francine Smith (36)**

**2. Stan Smith (7)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**5. Nigel Uno (1)**

**6. Butt-Head (48)**

**7. Peter Griffin (93)**

**8. Bender (22)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**10. Danny Phantom (16)**

**The race restarts on lap 147.**

** Stan Smith loses 2****nd**** place to Kenny McCormick on lap 152. Meanwhile, Francine Smith starts to pull away.**

** On lap 160, Stan Smith loses 3****rd**** place to Hoagie Gilligan, and on lap 164, loses 4****th**** place to Nigel Uno.**

** Hoagie Gilligan makes to 2****nd**** on lap 170; Nigel Uno is in 3****rd**** by lap 175.**

** By lap 182, it's a three-way battle for the lead.**

Francine: Damn, these boys are pesky!

**Then on lap 186, Nigel Uno pulls alongside Francine…**

Monty: You're clear, Nigel.

Nigel: YES, we're leading!

Francine: (sigh)

**Hoagie Gilligan makes it past Francine Smith on lap 191. Meanwhile, on lap 198, Francine loses 3****rd**** to Kenny McCormick.**

** On lap 205;**

Peter: Dammit, we've overheated too much, I don't think it'll run anymore!

Lois: (sigh) 10-4, bring her in.

**Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota overheats on lap 205 and is forced to retire from the race.**

** Nigel Uno and Hoagie Gilligan are still going for the lead on lap 214 when…**

Joy: Whoa, trouble!

McReynolds: Ahsoka Tano is head-on in the wall in turn 1 – caution is out.

D.W: The #20 may have had something to do with that.

Rainbow Dash: (cackles) That's what she gets!

Ahsoka: Man, is this what I get for hitting her earlier? (sigh)

**On lap 214, Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota clips the right-rear of Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet going into turn 1. Ahsoka's car spins to the right and goes head-on into the wall, leaving it unable to go on.**

** Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 23****rd****, gets the free pass.**

** Everyone else gets four tires and fuel, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Nigel Uno (1)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**4. Francine Smith (36)**

**5. Stan Smith (7)**

**6. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**7. Bender (22)**

**8. Butt-Head (48)**

**9. Eddy (31)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**On lap 220;**

Joy: Green flag, let's Crank it Up!

…

**Gradually, Nigel Uno and Hoagie Gilligan pull away from the rest of the pack.**

** Then on lap 228, Hoagie makes his move;**

Tommy: You got him! You're in the lead!

Hoagie: WOO-HOO!

**Hoagie Gilligan takes the lead on lap 228.**

** Kenny McCormick starts to catch up with them around this time. By lap 235, he's right on Nigel Uno's bumper, and it's a three-way battle for the lead.**

** It takes a while, but on lap 240, Kenny McCormick slingshots off of Nigel Uno for 2****nd****. Then, on lap 244, he gets by Hoagie Gilligan to get back in the lead.**

** On lap 250…**

Joy: Caution is out, we have a blown engine.

Danny: Oh that's just great! We were doing fine until this happened!

Sam: That's okay, we'll get 'em next week.

**On lap 250, the caution comes out as Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford blows its engine. Danny coasts back into the garage area, retiring from the race.**

** Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 21****st****, gets the free pass.**

** Everyone gets their last pit stops of the race, here's the top 10 coming out of the pits;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**2. Nigel Uno (1)**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**4. Bender (22)**

**5. Butt-Head (48)**

**6. Stan Smith (7)**

**7. Francine Smith (36)**

**8. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**9. Eddy (31)**

**10. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**We restart on lap 256.**

** Jake Long falls out of the top 10 on lap 265.**

** Eddy cracks the top 5 on lap 273.**

** Meanwhile, Nigel Uno and Hoagie Gilligan are going at hard for the lead, allowing Kenny McCormick to pull away, and for Eddy to catch up with them…**

** It's a three-way battle for 2****nd**** on lap 280. Eddy, devious as he is, eases by Hoagie Gilligan on lap 286, and by Nigel Uno on lap 293.**

Eddy: Suckers!

**And so Eddy starts to catch up to Kenny McCormick…**

** Meanwhile, Beavis gets into the top 15 on lap 300.**

** Eddy finally catches up to Kenny on lap 308, and the battle for the win begins.**

** The white flag flies on lap 312. Eddy tries to make a move going through turn 2, but he gets loose and can't come back…**

Joy: Coming off yet another death at the 500 last week, Kenny McCormick wins at Phoenix!

Kenny: MMM-PFMMM!

Eddy: Dammit, we had him! How did I mess up?

Rolf: Don't beat yourself up, lacking-in-stature Ed-boy. Many races await us yet.

Eddy: (sigh)

**Kenny McCormick wins the Subway Fresh Fit 500, while Eddy settles for 2****nd****. Nigel Uno takes 3****rd****, Hoagie Gilligan claims 4****th****, Stan Smith gets 5****th****, Francine Smith is 6****th****, Butt-Head comes in 7****th****, Bender places 8****th****, Ben Tennyson finishes 9****th****, and the rookie Jake Long rounds out the top 10.**

** Kenny does a burnout down the length of the frontstretch, and then parks in Victory Lane. He cheers with his race team as the confetti flies. Then Erin Andrew tries to interview him, but she can't make out what he's saying through his hoodie. So we're not going to worry about that, and instead, we'll just see the results.**

** Subway Fresh Fit 500 race results;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**2. Eddy (31)**

**3. Nigel Uno (1)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**5. Stan Smith (7)**

**6. Francine Smith (36)**

**7. Butt-Head (48)**

**8. Bender (22)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**11. Eric Cartman (14)**

**12. Frylock (15)**

**13. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**14. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**15. Beavis (24)**

**16. Ed (27)**

**17. Meatwad (56)**

**18. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**19. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**20. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**21. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**22. Aang (35) (1 lap down)**

**23. Timmy Turner (17) (1 lap down)**

**24. Grim (33) (1 lap down)**

**25. Applejack (1 lap down)**

**26. William Murderface (47) (1 lap down)**

**27. Hank Hill (98) (1 lap down)**

**28. Spongebob SquarePants (78) (1 lap down)**

**29. Katara (34) (2 laps down)**

**30. Kim Possible (51) (2 laps down)**

**31. The Warden (32) (2 laps down)**

**32. Early Cuyler (21) (2 laps down)**

**33. Hank Venture [R] (13) (3 laps down)**

**34. Foxxy Love (98) (3 laps down)**

**35. Sokka (38) (3 laps down)**

**36. Gumball Watterson (87) (4 laps down)**

**37. Danny Phantom (16) (DNF; engine)**

**38. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Peter Griffin (93) (DNF; overheating)**

**40. Homer Simpson (83) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Edd (29) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Abigail Lincoln (5) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Master Shake (55) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 2 of 36 races;**

**1. Nigel Uno (1); 82 points**

**2. Eddy (31); 75 points**

**3. Rainbow Dash (20); 69 points**

**4. Butt-Head (48); 65 points**

**5. Ben Tennyson (10); 62 points**

**6. Kenny McCormick (39); 61 points**

**7. Eric Cartman (14); 60 points**

**8. Timmy Turner (17); 59 points**

**9. Beavis (24); 58 points**

**10. Dudley Puppy (99); 57 points**

**11. Stan Smith (7); 56 points**

**12. Twilight Sparkle (11); 55 points**

**13. Francine Smith (36); 54 points**

**14. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42); 53 points**

**15. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)/Jake Long [R] (30); 52 points**

**17. Frylock (15)/Ferb Fletcher (9); 51 points**

**19. Danny Phantom (16); 50 points**

**20. Katara (34); 47 points**

**21. Phineas Flynn (43)/Peter Griffin (93); 46 points**

**23. Homer Simpson (83); 45 points**

**24. Applejack (18); 42 points**

**25. Ed (27); 40 points**

**26. Bender (22)/Edd (29); 38 points**

**28. Master Shake (55); 37 points**

**29. Meatwad (56)/Kim Possible (51); 36 points**

**31. William Murderface (47)/Foxxy Love (98); 35 points**

**33. Daria Morgendorffer (88); 34 points**

**34. Sokka (38); 33 points**

**35. Abigail Lincoln (5); 32 points**

**36. Grim (33); 30 points**

**37. Aang (35); 29 points**

**38. Hank Venture (13) [R]; 25 points**

**39. Hank Hill (95); 23 points**

**40. Spongebob SquarePants; 20 points**

**41. The Warden (32); 18 points**

**42. Early Cuyler (21); 15 points**

**43. Gumball Watterson (87); 9 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (42); 28 points**

**2. Jake Long (30); 21 points**

**3. Daria Morgendorffer (88)/Hank Venture (13); 17 points**

**Next race; Kobalt Tools 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.**


	8. Kobalt Tools 400

**We're two races into the 2****nd**** season, and are now getting ready for another Western showdown. Race 3 of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will be the Kobalt Tools 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway! This track is a 1.5 mile tri-oval; one of a number of tracks in this variety – known pejoratively as "cookie-cutter" tracks. The turns and the tri-oval are banked at 20 degrees, and the backstretch is totally flat.**

** The actual length of the race will be 400.5 miles long – it will be run over 267 laps. The weather, like at Daytona, is completely overcast, but thankfully, no rain is in the picture.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**2. Early Cuyler (21)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**4. Aang (35)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**6. Meatwad (56)**

**7. Grim (33)**

**8. Master Shake (55)**

**9. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**10. William Murderface (47)**

**11. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**12. Applejack (18)**

**13. Kim Possible (51)**

**14. Ed (27)**

**15. Bender (22)**

**16. Foxxy Love (98)**

**17. Edd (29)**

**18. Homer Simpson (83)**

**19. Hank Hill (95)**

**20. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**21. The Warden (32)**

**22. Peter Griffin (93)**

**23. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**24. Nigel Uno (1)**

**25. Danny Phantom (16)**

**26. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**27. Butt-Head (48)**

**28. Eddy (31)**

**29. Eric Cartman (14)**

**30. Beavis (24)**

**31. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**32. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**33. Katara (34)**

**34. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**35. Timmy Turner (17)**

**36. Stan Smith (7)**

**37. Frylock (15)**

**38. Sokka (38)**

**39. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**40. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**41. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**42. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**43. Francine Smith (36)**

**Take it away, FOX;**

Joy: The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series continues its Western road trip here in Sin City, at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Things in this series have already intensified a great deal as the Cartoon Cup Series is setting up to run its 3rd race in its 2nd season, the Kobalt Tools 400! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrel Waltrip. Larry Mac, anything unusual we can expect to see in this race?

McReynolds: Well I think what's really standing out right now is the starting grid; it's still not clear why, but we have a lot of bottom-feeders starting up in the top 20, and even the top 10! I know qualifying normally isn't that important, but if these bottom-feeders and field-fillers can hold off the top dogs – boy, you talk about a scenario!

D.W: But like you said, Larry, qualifying may be more important at Bristol, but not here! And the unfortunate truth is that yes, we do have a few bottom-feeders and field-fillers running in this series. And I hate to admit it, but I think what's gonna happen is these guys starting up front are gonna get run down and severely outclassed.

Joy: Interesting theories. We'll find out whose right soon enough. Now let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshalls the cast of the Hanna-Barbera crew, Sealab 2020!

Sealab crew: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**Once more, 43 automotive stallions rev up their sources of power. They warm up, and then they roll out, being led by the pace car.**

Joy: Now let's see this unusual starting grid; on the pole is the sea sponge known as Spongebob SquarePants, beside him is the squid Early Cuyler. Abigail Lincoln is in 3rd, and the airbender Aang is starting 4th. The rookie Daria Morgendorffer will roll out in 5th, and in 6th is Michael Waltrip's own Meatwad. The Grim Reaper himself is starting 7th, and Meatwad's teammate, Master Shake is right behind him in 8th. Dudley Puppy the dog is 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is the death metal bass player, William Murderface. As you look through the rest of the starting grid, D.W's gonna ring someone up;

D.W: Nigel Uno, it's D.W. from the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Nigel: Affirmative.

D.W: Hey, so you're the points leader and all, you're starting back in 24th, and all of these field-fillers and bottom-feeders are starting in the higher positions, what do you think of all this?

Nigel: (shrug) Don't matter. All the cars are the same; I'll just pass 'em the same as I do the other cars. Of course, it is nice that my friend Abigail is up there, but if I get to her… look out!

D.W: This is our first race on a mile-and-a-half track, which is the most common track type in the series. How would you say the Gen-6 cars are handling it.

Nigel: Pretty fair, I'd say. Of course, we have this cool, overcast weather, and that always helps. There are a few quirks here and there we've had to work on, but other than that, our car seems to be running A-OK.

D.W: Awesome. Well, good luck.

Nigel: 10-4.

…

**After the pace laps have been completed, the pace car pulls away onto pit road. Then the green flag is revealed, turning the field loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Spongebob SquarePants retains the lead while the others jockey for position behind him.**

** Back behind him, Abigail Lincoln manages to get past and hold off Early Cuyler, Aang and Daria Morgendorrfer. After dealing with them, she proceeds to catch up to Spongebob SquarePants…**

** By lap 10, it's a battle for the lead. Then, on lap 14;**

Joy: We have a new leader; the #5 of Abigail Lincoln!

Abigail: Oooh, yeah baby!

Kuki: YAY, we're leading!

Spongebob: I must not be going fast enough.

**Meanwhile, on lap 19, Applejack makes her way in to the top 10.**

** On lap 25;**

Joy: Nigel Uno's off the pace!

Nigel: We just broke the damn transmission! Piece of crap!

Rachel: Bring her in, we'll see what we can do.

Nigel: 10-4, Rach.

**Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet breaks its transmission on lap 25. With no other choice, Nigel brings his car down pit road and into his team's garage, where the crew will try and either fix or replace the transmission…**

** Meanwhile, the rookie Daria Morgendorffer has found her way into 2****nd**** place. By around lap 32, she's caught up with Abigail Lincoln, and tries to take the lead from her, but Abigail holds her off.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 37, Meatwad falls out of the top 10.**

** On lap 44…**

McReynolds: We have a rookie leading!

D.W: It's the #88 of Daria Morgendorffer.

Daria: (chuckling) Hey, we're leading! Who would've thought?

Abigail: (shrug)

**Then, on lap 51…**

All: SMOKE!

Joy: Ben Tennyson's blown up!

Ben: Dammit, we just lost an engine!

Gwen: Next week, Ben, Next week.

Ben: Ugh!

**On lap 51, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet blows its engine. Ben takes his smoke-spewing racecar on pit road and into his team's garage, effectively ending his team's race day.**

** Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 35****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Then, the cars that are still on the track dive down on to pit road for four fires and fuel**. **Everyone gets their service without anything rash occurring. When they leave the pits, the top 10 for the restart is set as follows;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**2. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**3. Master Shake (55)**

**4. Aang (26)**

**5. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**6. William Murderface (47)**

**7. Bender (22)**

**8. Ed (27)**

**9. Applejack (18)**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**The race is restarted on lap 56.**

**Abigail Lincoln reassumes the lead on lap 60.**

**Master Shake makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 65, and starts to catch up to Abigail Lincoln. By lap 69, it's a battle for the lead. Try as he may, however, Shake just cannot get past her. The extent to which they're fighting each other allows Aang to gradually catch up with them…**

**On lap 70, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet returns to the track, 45 laps down in 43****rd**** place.**

**By the time they've reached lap 74, it's a three-way battle for the lead. Aang has no problem getting past Master Shake, which he accomplishes on lap 77. It takes a while longer, but on lap 83, Aang snatches the lead from Abigail Lincoln.**

Aang: Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

Abigail: These jokers never stop coming, do they?

Kuki: (shrug)

**On lap 84, Ahsoka Tano finds her way into the top 20.**

** At lap 89, Master Shake manages to get up to 2****nd**** place. It's lap 96 by the time he catches up with Aang. But then, on lap 99, before he can make the pass…**

Joy: Big trouble! Turn 4!

McReynolds: The #31 and the #14 have totaled each other, and the caution is out.

Rolf: It's alright, Ed-boy. Some other day, perhaps.

Cartman: THAT COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE OF A BITCHY SHIT-WHORE!

**On lap 99, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet and Eric Cartman's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet make contact in turn 4, lose control and slam hard into the wall. Both cars are totaled. Eddy and Cartman get out of their cars and bicker for a little while before being broken up and driven to the infield care center.**

** Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30****th****, gets the free pass.**

** Everyone else goes into the pits for four tires. After pit stops;**

Joy: Foxxy Love, too fast entering!

Foxxy: Are you shittin' me?!

Clara: No, you were speeding. Man, and I thought black chicks could actually drive!

Foxxy: You BITCH!

**Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford is caught speeding on pit road; she'll have to serve a drive-thru penalty. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Aang (35)**

**2. Master Shake (55)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**6. Meatwad (56)**

**7. Grim (33)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**9. William Murderface (47)**

**10. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**On lap 105;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 105, let's Crank it Up!

…

**Abigail Lincoln reclaims the lead once again on lap 112.**

** Meatwad gets up in to the top 5 on lap 117. He's up to 2****nd**** by lap 123. Once he's on lap 130, he's caught up to Abigail, and it's a battle for the lead.**

** On lap 137…**

D.W: The #56 is in the lead!

Meatwad: WOO-HOO!

Abigail: D'OH!

Kuki: Uh, that's not your catchphrase, Abby.

Abigail: (blush) Oh, right. My bad.

**Dudley Puppy falls out of the top 10 on lap 145.**

** Meanwhile, Dudley's teammate, Timmy Turner, has his hands full. He's currently running in 24****th**** place; trying to take that spot from him is Twilight Sparkle. For the moment, Timmy manages to hold her off, but on lap 150, going on to the backstretch, Twilight Sparkle's horn starts to glow…**

McReynolds: CAR AIRBORNE!

Joy: Timmy Turner is in the air, flipping violently down the back straightaway… now he's come to a stop.

D.W: And he made no contact whatsoever – he just… jumped up in the air!

Twilight: (cackles)

Wanda: Oh my God, are you okay, sport?

Timmy: (groan) I don't know…

**On lap 150, Twilight Sparkle uses pony magic on Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford, causing his car to get airborne and flip down the backstretch before landing on its roof. Timmy staggers out, unhurt, but with a very sore back…**

** The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford, running 1 lap down in 27****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The surviving cars take to the pits for more tires and fuel. Things go more smoothly this time – the following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Meatwad (56)**

**2. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**3. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**4. Master Shake (55)**

**5. Grim (33)**

**6. Aang (35)**

**7. William Murderface (47)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**9. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**10. Ed (27)**

**We restart on lap 155.**

**This time, Meatwad manages to build up a lead, pulling away from Abigail Lincoln, who on lap 159, is passed by Spongebob SquarePants for 2****nd****.**

** It's lap 167 when it happens, but eventually, Spongebob does catch up to Meatwad. On lap 171;**

Joy: Finally, our pole-sitter is back in the lead.

Spongebob: YAY!

Meatwad: Fag.

**However, Abigail Lincoln has been catching back up to them during this time, and by lap 177, it's a three-way battle for the lead. Abigail deals with Meatwad on lap 182, and then on lap 188, she retakes the lead.**

Abigail: Now THAT'S more like it!

Meatwad: Damn black chicks!

**Abigail Lincoln pulls away from Meatwad and Spongebob, and continues to increase her lead up until lap 195, when this happens;**

Joy: Car in the wall!

D.W: Ahsoka Tano has put Rainbow Dash in the wall, and we have a caution!

Rainbow Dash: DAMN JEDI! I'd have this race won if it wasn't for her!

Ahsoka: Hey, she took me out last week, remember?

Anakin: Revenge is not the Jedi way!

Ahsoka: …

**On lap 195, entering turn 3, Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet intentionally clips Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, making her spin and crash into the wall, damaging her car to the point where it can no longer compete. Rainbow Dash vacates her vehicle and is driven to the infield care center, unhurt, but unhappy.**

** Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota, running 1 lap down in 25****th****, gets the free pass.**

** After everyone gets their tires and fuel in the pits, the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**2. Meatwad (56)**

**3. Master Shake (55)**

**4. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**5. Grim (33)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**7. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**8. Ed (27)**

**9. Aang (35)**

**10. Bender (22)**

**On lap 202;**

Joy: RESTART, with 65 laps to go, let's Crank it Up!

…

**By lap 209, Abigail Lincoln has been shuffled back to the 5****th**** spot – Master Shake now has the lead, with his teammate Meatwad crawling up his tailpipe.**

** Ed falls out of the top 10 on lap 214.**

** It is around this time that Abigail Lincoln starts to work her way back up – at around lap 220, she's back up in to the 3****rd**** spot. She catches up to Meatwad and Master Shake on lap 228, inciting yet another three-way battle for the lead.**

** On lap 230;**

Joy: We got a crash in turn 1!

D.W: Those are teammates! Beavis and Butt-Head have wrecked each other in turn 1!

McReynolds: And we have a caution!

**On lap 230, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet and Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet make contact in turn 1, lose control and crash into each other, and of course, the wall. The two teammates get out of their totaled cars and start to argue over it.**

…

** Hank Venture's #13 GEICO Ford, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** All the surviving cars make their last pit stops of the race; four tires and fuel for all. And so here then will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Master Shake (55)**

**2. Meatwad (56)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**4. Grim (33)**

**5. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**6. William Murderface (47)**

**7. Bender (22)**

**8. Kim Possible (51)**

**9. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 237; 30 laps to go!**

** Master Shake and Meatwad pull away; Abigail Lincoln lurks behind them…**

** Grim falls out of the top 5 on lap 244.**

** Spongebob SquarePants falls out of the top 10 on lap 250.**

** On lap 254, Meatwad takes the lead from his teammate, Master Shake.**

** Then, on lap 260, Abigail Lincoln gets past Shake for 2****nd****, and proceeds to run down Meatwad…**

** The white flag flies on lap 267; Meatwad is leading, with Abigail Lincoln nipping at his heels. Throughout much of this lap, Meatwad just manages to hold her off. Then…**

Joy: Here they come off turn 4!

McReynolds: Abigail's looking to the inside…

D.W: SHE'S GOT 'IM!

Joy: Abigail Lincoln wins the Kobalt Tools 400!

Abigail: Whoooo, yeah, baby!

Kuki: Yay, we won! We won, we won, we won!

Meatwad: Goddamn nigger! I had this race won, and that coon bitch stole it! FUCK!

**After pulling off a spectacular last-second past, Abigail Lincoln wins the Kobalt Tools 400, while Meatwad settles for 2****nd****. Master Shake is 3****rd****, William Murderface takes 4****th****, Gumball Watterson gets 5****th****, Grim claims 6****th****, Kim Possible comes in 7****th****, Ed places 8****th****, Dudley Puppy finishes 9****th****, and Hoagie P. Gilligan rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing a few donuts in front of the cheering NASCAR race fans, Abigail parks her car into Victory Lane. Hoagie Gilligan joins her there. Abigail gets out, the crowd cheers and the confetti flies as she celebrates the win. Then, Matt Yocum moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Abigail Lincoln, a wild finish to this race, and you came out on top – walk us through it!

Abigail: Wow, I don't know if I can. I started to doubt myself when I got shuffled back with 60 laps to go, but I somehow just got back in it for the final restart. And, well, I just caught up to Meatwad, waited until the last minute, and I got 'em! Man, it's times like this that really make me appreciate where I am, so I just gotta thank Farmer's Insurance and all our other sponsors, Hendrick Motorsports, and of course my sweetie, Hoagie, I love you!

Yocum: Well great job out there, Abby.

Abigail: Thanks, dude.

**Seizing the chance, Hoagie then moves up beside Abigail, puts an arm around her and proceeds to kiss her repeatedly on the cheek.**

Abigail: (giggling) Hoagie you're embarrassing me! (giggle)

**Abigail then gets him back by taking a hold of his face and planting a passionate kiss on Hoagie's lips.**

Both: (moan)

**Kobalt Tools 400 race results;**

**1. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**2. Meatwad (56)**

**3. Master Shake (55)**

**4. William Murderface (47)**

**5. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**6. Grim (33)**

**7. Kim Possible (51)**

**8. Ed (27)**

**9. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**10. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**11. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**12. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**13. Aang (35)**

**14. Early Cuyler (21)**

**15. The Warden (32)**

**16. Hank Hill (95)**

**17. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**18. Edd (29)**

**19. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**20. Bender (22)**

**21. Applejack (18)**

**22. Peter Griffin (93)**

**23. Homer Simpson (83)**

**24. Foxxy Love (98) (1 lap down)**

**25. Jake Long [R] (30) (1 lap down)**

**26. Stan Smith (7) (1 lap down)**

**27. Frylock (15) (1 lap down)**

**28. Katara (34) (1 lap down)**

**29. Sokka (38) (1 lap down)**

**30. Phineas Flynn (43) (2 laps down)**

**31. Ferb Fletcher (9) (2 laps down)**

**32. Danny Phantom (2 laps down)**

**33. Francine Smith (36) (3 laps down)**

**34. Twilight Sparkle (11) (3 laps down)**

**35. Kenny McCormick (39) (4 laps down)**

**36. Beavis (24) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Butt-Head (48) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Nigel Uno (1) (45 laps down)**

**39. Rainbow Dash (20) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Timmy Turner (17) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Eric Cartman (14) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Eddy (31) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Ben Tennyson (10) (DNF; engine)**

**Point standings after 3 of 36 races;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (99); 92 points**

**2. Nigel Uno (1); 88 points**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2); 86 points**

**4. Abigail Lincoln (5)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (42); 80 points**

**6. Meatwad (56)/Master Shake (55); 79 points**

**8. Eddy (31); 77 points**

**9. Ed (27); 76 points**

**10. William Murderface (47); 75 points**

**11. Stan Smith (7)/Rainbow Dash (20); 74 points**

**13. Kim Possible (51); 73 points**

**14. Butt-Head (48); 72 points**

**15. Jake Long [R] (30); 71 points**

**16. Kenny McCormick (39); 70 points**

**17. Grim (33)/ Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)/Peter Griffin (93); 68 points**

**20. Frylock (15); 67 points**

**21. Homer Simpson (83)/Beavis (24); 66 points**

**23. Applejack (18)/Francine Smith (36)/Twilight Sparkle (11); 65 points**

**26. Edd (29)/Ferb Fletcher (9); 64 points**

**28. Katara (34)/Timmy Turner (17)/Eric Cartman (14)/Ben Tennyson; 63 points**

**32. Bender (22)/Danny Phantom (16); 62 points**

**34. Aang (35); 61 points**

**35. Phineas Flynn (43); 60 points**

**36. Foxxy Love (98); 55 points**

**37. Spongebob SquarePants (78); 53 points**

**38. Hank Hill (95); 51 points**

**39. Hank Venture [R] (13); 50 points**

**40. Gumball Watterson (87)/Sokka (38); 48 points**

**42. The Warden (32); 47 points**

**43. Early Cuyler (21); 45 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (42); 37 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (88); 26 points**

**3. Hank Venture [R] (13); 25 points**

**4. Jake Long (30); 24 points**

**Next race; Food City 500 at Bristol Motor Speedway.**


	9. Massage

Before we get to Bristol, I have this side story that takes place right after the Kobalt Tools 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway;

During the race, on lap 150, Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford was put in a violent airborne crash by Twilight Sparkle and her pony magic. Timmy was shaken, unhurt for the most part, but he did have a very sore back as he walked away from the crash. Timmy was checked and released from the infield care center; they cleared him as being OK, but his back was still very painful to him.

Anyway, Timmy has stayed at the track premises just to see how the rest of the race turned out. He was, figuratively speaking, on the edge of his seat when Meatwad and Abigail Lincoln were in that epic battle for the win. As Abigail wins the race, Timmy decides that he has no further business at this track. He gets up, despite his back pain, and heads back to his team's hauler. Someone is waiting for him there…

"Oh, hey, Tootie," Timmy says nonchalantly. Tootie refers to a very homely girl who has had an insane crush on Timmy for a real long time. She has attended all of the NASCAR races so far this season (and she was extremely ecstatic when Timmy won the first Budweiser Duel), which Timmy has allowed, if for no other reason, for the added fan support. Tootie, of course, was also at today's race at Las Vegas, and has been very worried about him ever since lap 150;

"I saw your crash," Tootie says with a concerned look on her face. "Please tell me you're OK!"

"I'm fine," Timmy replies apathetically. "But if you must know, my back is really killing me right now!"

"Aww, poor Timmy!" coos Tootie. "Don't worry, I think I can help."

Timmy suddenly becomes skeptical. "Uh, how could you, of all people, help me?" he retorts.

"I can fix your back, silly!" Tootie chuckles. "Just slip off your shirt, and I'll do the rest."

"Uh, do I really have to?" Timmy nervously asks. "Besides, I don't look good shirtless!"

"I don't mind," Tootie replies. "Just trust me on this, you're in good hands!"

It is at this point that Cosmo and Wanda, Timmy's crew chief, spotter and fairy godparents appear from thin air.

"Are you sure you don't want us to fix your back, sport?" Wanda implores him.

"Just say the word and we'll make it happen!" Cosmo winks.

Timmy looks back at Tootie smiling at him, then he turns to his fairies and says, "Uh, I think I'm gonna give the devil her do on this one."

Cosmo and Wanda exchange incredulous glances. "If you say so," Wanda says as she and Cosmo disappear.

"Here, I got it," Tootie says as she walks up to Timmy. Timmy raises his arms vertically above his head, allowing Tootie to smoothly slip his shirt up and off of his body. While her face suggests a cool and calm demeanor, her mind is squeeing, "OH MY GOD, I'M SEEING TIMMY SHIRTLESS! EEEEE, HE'S SO CUTE, OH MY GOD!"

"What now?" Timmy asks.

"Just lie down and let me do all the work," Tootie reassures him.

And so Timmy lies down on his stomach, on his shirt, so as to protect his torso from the pavement. With him being ready, Tootie places her hands at the base of Timmy's neck and starts to rub. Timmy's nervous, but gradually he calms down as the sensation of Tootie's hands provides a soothing feeling for him.

When she's certain that he's calmed, Tootie begins to gradually move her hands along Timmy's shoulders, rubbing them slowly and firmly, but carefully, so as to avoid giving him any more pain than he already has. Fortunately, she doesn't give him any. In fact, she gives him the exact opposite of that. "Oh yeah, that feels good!" Timmy croons as she continues to gently, but firmly rub his shoulders.

After a few minutes of shoulder-massaging, Tootie now decides to work his back. Using her thumbs, she gently rubs the sides of his spine, going up and down. With this, Timmy feels his back pain starting to alleviate. "Oh yeah, that's it," he whispers.

Tootie continues to massage the sides of Timmy's spine, going up and down the length, alternating between firm strokes and light strokes as she does so. Timmy closes his eyes and allows himself to get lost in the sensation – he feels as if heavenly beings are caressing him.

Eventually, Tootie starts to work the rest of Timmy's back. Using her palms, she proceeds to rub the area around Timmy's deltoid muscle, the muscle of his upper back. She goes in a circular motion, alternating between firm and soft, and is careful to cover all of his upper back with this motion. As for Timmy, he suppresses a shudder of pleasure, that's how much pleasure he's feeling as this is the point where his back pain is close to being gone altogether.

As Tootie moves down to Timmy's lower back, Timmy remarks, "You're really good at this – have you done this before?"

"No," Tootie shrugs. "I just read something online on how to do it. I was hoping maybe I could give one to, er, someone special."

Timmy can't help but raise an eyebrow at this, but he forgets about it as Tootie's palms provide a heavenly massage for his lower back, in the same fashion that he got with his upper back. In due time, his back pain becomes totally eradicated. Timmy, however, decides to let Tootie rub it some more; the soothing sensation he's getting from her hands is more pleasurable and heavenly than anything he could've gotten from a chair or an electric blanket or anything else…

Eventually, Tootie decides to stop, making Timmy a bit sad that it has to end. "How's your back?" Tootie asks.

Timmy stands up, still shirtless, and bends his back backwards to check for any more pain. He discovers that it's all gone. "Much better!" he replies happily. "Thanks, Tootie!"

"Glad I could help!" remarks Tootie. She tries to suppress a chuckle, but she can't. The contagiousness of this gets to Timmy, and he and Tootie end up sharing a laugh.

They then smile at each other for a second; Timmy then says to Tootie, "You know, I really hate to admit it… but I think I'm warming up to you!"

"Awww!" Tootie coos. She spreads her arms and says cutely, "Let me give you a hug!"

Timmy hesitates for a split-second, but he shrugs it off and allows Tootie to envelop him in her embrace. The two sigh into it. Tootie pats Timmy's bare back a few times, and then they pull apart.

Then, right after Timmy gets his shirt back on, he hears Danny Phantom's voice calling out to him; "Hey, Timmy! Me and Dudley are going to get some hot dogs, you wanna come along!"

"Oh, boy!" Timmy replies as he becomes excited. "I'll join ya in a little bit!" He then turns to Tootie and says, "Alright, well I'm gonna go get hot dogs with the guys. Thanks for everything – I REALLY appreciate it!"

"No problem!" Tootie proclaims. "Have fun!"

"OK, bye," Timmy waves as he leaves to join Danny and Dudley Puppy.

Tootie, meanwhile, is very elated at the moment. She'd been crushing on this boy for so long, but he'd never let her do anything for him. But today, she'd made so much progress – she saw him shirtless, gave him a back rub, fixed his sore back, and even gave him a hug – while he was still shirtless! And he's warming up to her! "Finally, he's starting to like me!" Tootie thinks to herself. "It's been too long, but it was SO worth it! Man, I hope I can get him to fall for me sometime…"


	10. Food City 500

**Welcome to Thunder Valley! The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now operating at one of the absolute shortest tracks on the circuit – the world's fastest half-mile, Bristol Motor Speedway! Located in Bristol, Tennessee, the exact total length of this track is just 0.533 miles. It is a regular oval; the turns are banked at 26-30 degrees, and the straightaways are banked at 9-10 degrees. But the real atypical feature of this track is that it has not one, but two pit roads – one on the frontstretch, and one on the backstretch. While under caution, the pitting cars must enter the backstretch pit and go through the frontstretch pit, but under green flag conditions, the cars only have to drive on whatever pit road they are on.**

** This race will be known as the Food City 500. It will be run over 500 laps, for a total of 266.5 miles. We're looking at bright and sunny weather, with no chance of rain!**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Early Cuyler (21)**

**2. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**4. Danny Phantom (16)**

**5. Bender (22)**

**6. Hank Hill (95)**

**7. Sokka (38)**

**8. Eric Cartman (14)**

**9. Timmy Turner (17)**

**10. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**11. The Warden (32)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**14. Foxxy Love (98)**

**15. Aang (35)**

**16. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**17. Edd (29)**

**18. Francine Smith (36)**

**19. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**20. Beavis (24)**

**21. Homer Simpson (83)**

**22. Katara (34)**

**23. Applejack (18)**

**24. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**25. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**26. Eddy (31)**

**27. Peter Griffin (93)**

**28. Butt-Head (48)**

**29. Ed (27)**

**30. Nigel Uno (1)**

**31. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**32. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**33. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**34. Master Shake (55)**

**35. Grim (33)**

**36. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**37. Stan Smith (7)**

**38. Frylock (15)**

**39. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**40. Kim Possible (51)**

**41. Meatwad (56)**

**42. William Murderface (47)**

**43. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**FOX?**

Joy: After three races at tracks that are at least a mile long, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now in Thunder Valley at one of the absolute shortest tracks on the NASCAR circuit. Not only that, but this couldn't come at a more tense time, as all of the drivers are now separated by a mere 47 points total – it may still be early in the season, but still. Anyway, we're glad you could be with us on NASCAR on FOX for today's Cartoon Cup Series race, the Food City 500! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy. With me as always; Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip.

McReynolds: First of all, the track. It really is one of the most difficult on the NASCAR circuit. It's only about a half-mile long; one lap is about 15 seconds or less, so you really can't afford anything that would cause an unscheduled pit stop, lest you go several laps down. Plus, there are two separate pit roads, which could end up being very confusing throughout the race.

D.W: And I know it's too early in the season to be talking about points, but like Mike Joy said, all 43 drivers are separated by just 47 points. Not only that, but just like last week, we mainly have drivers in the bottom half of the point standings starting in the top half of the field; if it stays that way, the points could come even closer together. Oh, and our points leader Dudley Puppy; he's starting in last place.

Joy: Either way, it should be a hot one, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshal; the catlike alien space pirate, Brak!

Brak: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**Like they always do, the 43 cars simultaneously rev up their 850+ hp engines; their immense power sends a real thundering sensation through Thunder Valley. When these engines are warmed up, they're all led out by the pace car.**

Joy: Alright, let's have a look-see at this lopsided starting grid; our pole-sitter is the squid known as Early Cuyler and alongside him in 2nd is Spongebob SquarePants, last week's pole-sitter. The legendary #43 car, driven by Phineas Flynn is starting 3rd, and in 4th place is the ghost-boy, Danny Phantom. The robot Bender rolls out in 5th, and Hank Hill, driving for the new Leavine Family Racing team will start in the 6th spot. Sokka is 7th, and Eric Cartman – he led the points for many weeks last year – is 8th. Timmy Turner is starting in 9th place, and Phineas Flynn's stepbrother Ferb Fletcher will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid, D.W. will be on the line;

D.W: Phineas Flynn, it's D.W. from the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Phineas: Yes, yes I do.

D.W: Alright, so we all remember how you came so close to winning this race last year, and uh, what you did afterwards, but I digress. How do you feel about the car today?

Phineas: Well really, the whole season is going to be one long test session, trying to figure that out! (laughs) Still, the car has been running pretty damn fine all weekend long – hopefully, we'll have better results this time.

D.W: Hmmm, well I know this is not relevant of racing, but speaking of you and Isabella – how you two doin'?

Phineas: Oh, man, it's going great! Don't ask me how, but this NASCAR business really has drawn us together so much! We've never been closer!

D.W: (chuckle) Well, good luck to you both.

Phineas: Thanks, dude!

...

**The pace car quickly retreats on to the frontstretch pit road once the pace laps are completed. The nanosecond after that happens, the green flag flies and the cars accelerate away.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

McReynolds: Whoa, Phineas just got the jump on them all – he takes the lead going into the backstretch!

Phineas: That's what I'm talkin' about!

Isabella: Woo-hoo, go Phineas!

**As Phineas jumps ahead into the lead on the first lap, Early Cuyler, meanwhile, falls back to 5****th**** by lap 9.**

** On lap 17, Danny Phantom makes it up to 2****nd****. He's right on Phineas's bumper on lap 25. Then on lap 35;**

Joy: He ALMOST lost it in turn 3, Danny Phantom's in the lead!

Phineas: How did that happen?

Isabella: It's okay, we'll come back.

Danny: Oh yeah, we're in the lead!

**Hank Hill makes it in to the top 5 on lap 46.**

** Sokka falls out of the top 10 on lap 55.**

** Early Cuyler makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 67. By lap 74, he's caught up with Danny Phantom. For a number of laps, Danny viciously blocks Early whenever he tries to make a pass. Then on lap 83;**

McReynolds: They touch! Danny almost spins!

D.W: And Early Cuyler takes the lead!

Early: Ha! 'Bout time we led this stupid race!

Danny: What the hell! That bastard almost wrecked me!

Sam: Just stay cool, we'll get 'im.

**On lap 96, Danny Phantom falls back to 3****rd**** as Hank Hill makes his way into the 2****nd**** position.**

** Another battle for the lead ensues on lap 109, as Hank Hill as caught up with Early Cuyler. Early manages to hold Hank off; this allows Danny Phantom to catch back up with them on lap 115, and it becomes a three-way battle for the lead.**

** On lap 119;**

Joy: Uh oh; big crash in front of the leaders!

Danny: I'm going ghost...

D.W: Looks like all the leaders got through-

McReynolds: Look at that – Danny Phantom just went ghost – he goes into the lead right as the caution flag flies!

Danny: Heh heh heh!

**On lap 119, six lapped cars crash out of the race on the backstretch in front of the leaders; Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet, William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baked Beans Toyota, Applejack's #18 M&M's Toyota, Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet and Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet. Hank Hill, Early Cuyler and the front-runners manage to make it through unscathed. Danny Phantom, meanwhile, ghosts his car, and is able to go right through all of the wreckage and debris, thus taking the lead right as the caution comes out.**

** Hoagie P. Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Dodge, running 1 lap down in 29****th****, gets the free pass.**

** For several laps, pit road remains closed – the cars are brought down through the pits so that track crew can clean the racing surface. But in due time, pit road is opened, and everyone takes four tires and fuel. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Danny Phantom (16)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**3. Early Cuyler (21)**

**4. Bender (22)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**6. Hank Hill (95)**

**7. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**8. Timmy Turner (17)**

**9. Eric Cartman (14)**

**10. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**On lap 130;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 130, let's Crank it Up!

...

**On lap 143...**

McReynolds: There goes Phineas Flynn – he's back in the lead!

Phineas: Here we go – back in the lead!

Danny: (sigh)

**Meanwhile, on lap 154, Timmy Turner makes it up in to the top 5.**

** Timmy makes it up to 3****rd**** on lap 166, and 2****nd**** on lap 174. On lap 182 he starts to challenge Phineas Flynn for the lead... and takes it on lap 195.**

** However, he's unable to pull away, and Phineas stays right on his tail. On lap 205, Early Cuyler passes Danny Phantom for 3****rd**** place, and catches up to both Phineas Flynn and Timmy Turner on lap 213, making it a three-way battle for the lead.**

** Early makes it past Phineas on lap 220, and Phineas starts to fall back some. Early catches up to Timmy Turner on lap 228 to try and take the lead back.**

** Then, on lap 240;**

Joy: There's smoke on the racetrack-

D.W: It's comin' from the #2 car!

McReynolds: Hoagie Gilligan has blown his engine – caution is out!

Hoagie: Oh damn, we just lost the engine, we're done!

Wally: CRAP!

**On lap 240, Hoagie P. Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Ford blows its engine. Hoagie, brewing with frustration, coasts on to the backstretch pit road, goes in to the garage area, and retires from the race.**

** Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** During the caution, the other cars retreat on to pit road, each taking four tires and fuel. The following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Timmy Turner (17)**

**2. Early Cuyler (21)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**6. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**7. Sokka (38)**

**8. Hank Hill (95)**

**9. Eric Cartman (14)**

**10. Aang (35)**

**The race is restarted on lap 250.**

**Timmy Turner loses the lead to Early Cuyler on lap 260. Phineas Flynn moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 270.**

**By lap 280, Phineas Flynn is challenging for the lead yet again. He tries the inside, the outside, and on one occasion, the middle of the racetrack. But Early Cuyler holds on to the lead, that is, until lap 295;**

Joy: Phineas Flynn's back in the lead!

Early: Damn I hate that kid!

Candace: You're clear of the #21; you're in the lead again!

Phineas: Awesome!

**Meanwhile, on lap 307, Ferb Fletcher makes it up to 3****rd****. On lap 315, he's up to 2****nd****. And by lap 323;**

McReynolds: OK, here we go! It's brother against brother at Bristol!

D.W: Yeah, but you'd never know it – look how hard those two guys are racin' each other!

Joy: Wonder which one of them will one-up the other one...

**Phineas Flynn and his stepbrother Ferb Fletcher start to duke it out for the lead on lap 323. Phineas tries to hold on, Ferb tries to take it away. For a good number of laps, Phineas holds on, blocking Ferb whenever he tries to make a move on him from either side. Then, on lap 334;**

Joy: For the lead, here comes Ferb Fletcher on the outside... he's got 'im!

Vanessa: New leader; #9!

Ferb: (snicker)

**Phineas Flynn starts to fall back again as Early Cuyler moves back up to 2****nd**** on lap 340.**

** On lap 349;**

Joy: Big trouble on the pit wall – Ahsoka Tano has crashed! Caution is out!

McReynolds: I believe it was the #20 who made contact with her and made her wreck.

D.W: Uh, guys? I think I smell a rivalry heating up...

Rainbow Dash: Heh heh heh, stupid Jedi!

Ahsoka: Honestly, what the hell is her problem?

Anakin: I don't know, Snips, but just don't do anything that can corrupt you.

Ahsoka: Hmmm...

**On lap 349, Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota clips the left-rear of Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet; Ahsoka's car loses control and she runs head-on into the end of the frontstretch pit wall. This effectively disables her car. Ahsoka gets out of out of her car, and while the track crews are cleaning up the wreckage, Ahsoka waits for Rainbow Dash's #20 car to come back around while under caution. As soon as she does spot her car, she ignites her lightsaber...**

Rainbow Dash: She just slashed my left-side tires!

Fluttershy: Just bring it in and we'll get two new tires on.

Rainbow Dash: That bitch...

Anakin: (facepalm)

**After getting her left-side tires slashed, Rainbow Dash falls back behind the rest of the back, and eventually manages to make it to her pit stall where she gets four fresh tires and fuel.**

** Meanwhile, Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota, running 1 lap down in 17****th**** gets the free pass. **

** Then the rest of the cars still on-track also get four tires and fuel. The top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**2. Early Cuyler (21)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**4. Hank Hill (95)**

**5. Eric Cartman (14)**

**6. Aang (35)**

**7. Sokka (38)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**9. Timmy Turner (17)**

**10. Foxxy Love (98)**

**On lap 360;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 360, let's Crank it Up!

...

**On lap 370;**

D.W: For the lead... it's Hank Hill!

Peggy: Oh my God, we're leading!

Hank: No way! Oh, we're gonna kick some ass now!

**But on lap 380, Hank Hill loses the lead to Early Cuyler.**

Hank: Dang it!

**Phineas Flynn regains 2****nd**** place on lap 390 and starts to catch up to Early Cuyler.**

** On lap 400;**

Joy: Caution is out for another blown engine on the racetrack-

McReynolds: That's Dudley Puppy! That's our points leader!

D.W: Well, he won't be after this race.

Dudley: You gotta be kidding me! We just took the points lead, and now this?

Kitty: We'll get it back some other time, Dudley.

**On lap 400, Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford blows its engine. Dudley very solemnly limps on to pit road and in to the garage area, retiring from the race.**

** Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota, running 1 lap down in 18****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Even though everyone is relatively early in their runs, they all decide to get four tires and fuel anyways – this way; they'll most certainly be able to make it through the last 100 laps. Everything proceeds without a hitch, and this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Early Cuyler (21)**

**2. Hank Hill (95)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**5. Timmy Turner (17)**

**6. Danny Phantom (16)**

**7. Eric Cartman (14)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**9. Foxxy Love (98)**

**10. Aang (35)**

**The race is brought to a restart on lap 410.**

** Phineas Flynn regains 2****nd**** place on lap 419, and regains the lead on lap 425.**

Phineas: Oh, we're so gonna win this race!

Isabella: That's the spirit, Phinny! (blows a kiss)

Phineas: (giggle)

**Hank Hill falls out of the top 5 on lap 434.**

** Homer Simpson finally makes it into the top 15 on lap 441.**

** Meanwhile, Ferb Fletcher, on lap 450, makes it into 3****rd**** place. He challenges Early Cuyler for the lead; Early holds him off – this allows Phineas Flynn to gain some ground on them…**

** But on lap 463, Ferb starts to fall back – this allows Early Cuyler to catch back up to Phineas, and the battle for the win begins on lap 475.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 487, Ben Tennyson makes it into the top 5.**

** The white flag flies on lap 500 – Phineas Flynn is leading with Early Cuyler crawling up his tailpipe. It is at this point that Early Cuyler takes out his sawed-off shotgun – the gun is already fully loaded, so he cocks it, points it out the window, and right when Phineas is going into turn 3, he pulls the trigger…**

Phineas: He just shot out my right-rear tire! DAMMIT!

D.W: Phineas has just lost a tire – he can't make it!

Joy: And Early Cuyler will win the Food City 500!

Rusty: Way to go, Daddy!

Early: WOOOOOOOOOO! This is so awesome, you guys! FUCK yeah!

**After shooting out Phineas Flynn's right-rear tire, Early Cuyler wins the Food City 500. Ferb Fletcher finishes 2****nd****, Timmy Turner takes 3****rd****, Danny Phantom is 4****th****, Ben Tennyson claims 5****th****, Hank Hill comes in 6****th****, Eric Cartman places 7****th****, Spongebob SquarePants gets 8****th****, Sokka comes in 9****th****, and Bender rounds out the top 10.**

** Early Cuyler does a burnout down the front straightaway of Bristol Motor Speedway – some are cheering him, some are booing him. After the burnout, he finds himself his Victory Lane – he and his team cheer wildly for a little bit, and then Matt Yocum moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Early Cuyler, that was quite a vicious victory you got back there. You mind walkin' us through it?

Early: Well, you know, this is the Cartoon Cup Series for a reason – 'cause you can do anything! And there was no way in hell that I was gonna lose to that lil' faggot Phineas! And if that Jedi Ahsoka Tano could get away with cutting other people's tires, so can I! (laughs)

Yocum: But seriously, you really needed this win, didn't you?

Early: Did we ever! We were last in the points for cryin' out loud! But this race team helped get me through, and I just have to thank the Wood Brothers, Motorcraft and all our other sponsors for the support – I couldn't be prouder!

Yocum: Well great job, Early.

Early: Thanks.

**Food City 500 race results;**

**1. Early Cuyler (21)**

**2. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**3. Timmy Turner (17)**

**4. Danny Phantom (16)**

**5. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**6. Hank Hill (95)**

**7. Eric Cartman (14)**

**8. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**9. Sokka (38)**

**10. Bender (22)**

**11. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**12. Aang (35)**

**13. Foxxy Love (98)**

**14. Francine Smith (36)**

**15. Homer Simpson (83)**

**16. Peter Griffin (93)**

**17. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**18. Edd (29)**

**19. Butt-Head (48) (1 lap down)**

**20. Rainbow Dash (20) (1 lap down)**

**21. The Warden (32) (1 lap down)**

**22. Gumball Watterson (1 lap down)**

**23. Nigel Uno (1 lap down)**

**24. Beavis (1 lap down)**

**25. Eddy (31) (2 laps down)**

**26. Twilight Sparkle (2 laps down)**

**27. Master Shake (2 laps down)**

**28. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88) (2 laps down)**

**29. Abigail Lincoln (5) (3 laps down)**

**30. Katara (34) (3 laps down)**

**31. Frylock (15) (3 laps down)**

**32. Meatwad (56) (4 laps down)**

**33. Grim (33) (4 laps down)**

**34. Kenny McCormick (5 laps down)**

**35. Dudley Puppy (99) (DNF; engine)**

**36. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2) (DNF; engine)**

**38. William Murderface (47) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Stan Smith (7) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Ed (27) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Jake Long [R] (30) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Kim Possible (51) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Applejack (18) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 4 of 36 races;**

**1. Nigel Uno; 109 points**

**2. Ferb Fletcher (9); 107 points**

**3. Timmy Turner (17); 105 points**

**4. Danny Phantom (16); 103 points**

**5. Ben Tennyson (10); 102 points**

**6. Dudley Puppy (99); 101 points**

**7. Eric Cartman (14); 100 points**

**8. Rainbow Dash (20); 98 points**

**9. Butt-Head (48); 97 points**

**10. Bender (22)/Peter Griffin (93)/Eddy (31)/Master Shake (55); 96 points**

**11. Phineas Flynn (43)/Francine Smith (36)/Homer Simpson (83)/Abigail Lincoln (5); 95 points**

**12. Aang (35)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (2); 93 points**

**13. Early Cuyler (21); 92 points**

**14. Meatwad (56); 91 points**

**15. Hank Hill (95)/Edd (29); 90 points**

**16. Spongebob SquarePants (78); 89 points**

**17. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42); 88 points**

**18. Foxxy Love (98)/Beavis (24); 86 points**

**19. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88); 84 points**

**20. Sokka (38)/Twilight Sparkle (11); 83 points**

**21. William Murderface (47); 81 points**

**22. Frylock (15)/Kenny McCormick (39)/Ed (27); 80 points**

**23. Grim (33)/Stan Smith (7); 79 points**

**24. Hank Venture [R]/Katara (34); 77 points**

**25. Kim Possible (51); 75 points**

**26. Jake Long [R] (30); 74 points**

**27. The Warden (32)/Gumball Watterson (87); 70 points**

**28. Applejack (18); 66 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42); 45 points**

**2. Hank Venture (13)/Daria Morgendorffer (88); 35 points**

**3. Jake Long (30); 31 points**

**Next race; Auto Club 400 at Auto Club Speedway.**


	11. Auto Club 400

**We're just four races into the racing season, and the nature of things just continues to heat up considerably! For Race #5, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series heads back to the west coast, to Auto Club Speedway! Located in Fontana, California (that's in the Los Angeles area), this track is a two-mile, D-shaped oval superspeedway. The turns are banked at 14 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 11 degrees and the backstretch is banked at 3 degrees.**

** This race shall be known as the Auto Club 400. It will be 400 miles long, run over 200 laps. The weather today show cases clear, blue skies... and the sun may be shining, but it is not shining terribly hard, so the track should have at least somewhat better grip.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Applejack (18)**

**2. Ed (27)**

**3. Kim Possible (51)**

**4. Stan Smith (7)**

**5. Frylock (15)**

**6. Katara (34)**

**7. Beavis (24)**

**8. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**10. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**11. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**12. The Warden (32)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**14. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**15. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**16. William Murderface (47)**

**17. Edd (29)**

**18. Sokka (38)**

**19. Foxxy Love (98)**

**20. Grim (33)**

**21. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**22. Hank Hill (95)**

**23. Ben Tennyson (10)**

**24. Abigail Lincoln (5)**

**25. Nigel Uno (1)**

**26. Rainbow Dash (20)**

**27. Homer Simpson (83)**

**28. Eddy (31)**

**29. Master Shake (55)**

**30. Dudley Puppy (99)**

**31. Phineas Flynn (43)**

**32. Danny Phantom (16)**

**33. Ferb Fletcher (9)**

**34. Timmy Turner (17)**

**35. Butt-Head (48)**

**36. Eric Cartman (14)**

**37. Aang (35)**

**38. Peter Griffin (93)**

**39. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**40. Meatwad (56)**

**41. Early Cuyler (21)**

**42. Francine Smith (36)**

**43. Bender (22)**

**Take it away, FOX;**

Joy: We may only be four races into the season, but the point standings just will not stop getting closer! Last week had a particularly wild and controversial finish, in which Early Cuyler actually shot Phineas Flynn's tire out to steal the race victory. This week, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series returns to the west coast and stops at none other than Los Angeles, at Auto Club Speedway, for the Auto Club 400! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, alongside Larry McReynolds, and Darrell Waltrip.

McReynolds: Now we're at probably the fastest track we've been at thus far, what with the restrictor plates at Daytona and all. Here we can expect some of our most intense racing of the season thus far, since cars will be making it to around 200 miles an hour, AND they're perfectly capable of going four wide or even five-wide through the turns!

D.W: Well I think, amongst other things, that one thing we all REALLY need to keep our eyes on is the brewing rivalry between Rainbow Dash and the rookie Ahsoka Tano. These two have been at each other's throats, wrecking each other in these past races. And it got escalated that much further last week when Ahsoka actually slashed Rainbow Dash's tires with her lightsaber! Needless to say, these two like each other one bit.

Joy: Well, Ahsoka Tano starts 15th, Rainbow Dash starts 26th; we'll see where that goes. But for now, let's go down to trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the leader and lord of the ThunderCats, Lion-O!

Lion-O: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**43 850 hp engines start and rev up, inciting a wave of applause from the NASCAR fans. The cars then take a moment to warm their engines up, and they roll out of the pits for the pace laps.**

Joy: They're all rolling out; now let's see who will be starting where. The pony Applejack has her first pole of the season, and Ed, from Richard Childress Racing is to her outside. Behind them is the secret agent Kim Possible in 3rd, and the CIA agent Stan Smith is 4th. The sentient box of French Fries known as Frylock will roll out from the 5th spot, and alongside her in 6th is the waterbender Katara. Beavis, in the famed #24 for Hendrick Motorsports is 7th and the pony Twilght Sparkle is 8th. In the 9th position is the rookie Daria Morgendorffer, and rounding out the top 10 is Kenny McCormick. Now, while you look through the rest of the starting grid, D.W. will get on the phone;

D.W: Rainbow Dash, it's D.W. from the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Rainbow Dash: 10-4, D.W.

D.W: Alright, so I just HAVE to ask; what about you and that rookie, Ahsoka Tano?

Rainbow Dash: That pesky Jedi! Seriously, last time I checked, Jedi were supposed to be humble and chivalrous and fair and what-have-you. This Ahsoka is anything but! You saw that cheap shot she took on me last week; if she keeps this sort of crap up, she may end up becoming a damn Sith Lord, and that'll give me even MORE reason to hate her!

D.W: Uh, okay. I'm gonna switch gears for a second here; how's your car?

Rainbow Dash: (shrug) It's okay, I guess. I wish we'd gotten a much better starting position, but at a track like this, qualifying is not very important. I'm more than confident that I can make it to the front... just as soon as I get past that bitch, Ahsoka!

D.W: Uh, okay, well good luck with that!

Rainbow Dash: 10-4, thanks.

...

**The pace car retreats to pit road after the pace laps are complete; the cars creep slowly forward, and then the green flag is waved, turning them loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Applejack pulls out to an early lead, with Ed right on her tail, looking to take the lead away from her. Meanwhile, Frylock makes it up 3****rd**** on lap 5.**

** On lap 9, Katara falls out of the top 10.**

** By lap 14, Frylock has caught up with Frylock and Ed, and it becomes a three-way battle for the lead. Ed, though, manages to hold off Frylock, and then on lap 20;**

Joy: For the lead, Ed goes inside of Applejack... and he's got it!

Jonny: Plank says you're in the lead, Ed!

Ed: I am? Woo-hoo!

**After dealing with Frylock, Ed gets inside of Applejack going through turn 3, and pulls ahead in to the lead from there.**

**As Ed pulls away, Frylock, on lap 23, takes 2****nd**** place from Applejack.**

** Kim Possible falls out of the top 10 on lap 25.**

** By lap 33, Frylock has caught up with Ed, creating another battle for the lead.**

** Now, we go back to around 24****th**** and 25****th**** place; for the past several laps, Timmy Turner has been trying like hell to get past Nigel Uno and get up into the 24****th**** position. Nigel, however, has been vigorously holding him off throughout this whole ordeal, and by lap 39, Timmy can't take it anymore;**

Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the #1 car would blow its engine!

Wanda: You got it, sport!

Cosmo: Comin' right up!

...

Joy: Smoke on the racetrack – it's our points leader!

D.W: Nigel Uno, the points leader, has blown his engine!

McReynolds: Caution is out!

Nigel: Are you freakin' kidding me! That's the second straight time we've broke!

Rachel: I, uh, I don't know. Perhaps we'll get 'em week?

Nigel: (sigh) I guess.

**On lap 39, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet blows its engine, thanks to Cosmo and Wanda's fairy magic and Timmy's wish. Hanging his head, Nigel coasts around to pit road and into the garage area, and is forced to withdraw from the race.**

** The caution is brought out due to the automotive fluid leaked out from the #1 car. Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford, running 1 lap down in 36****th****, gets the free pass.**

** The other cars take to pit road for four tires and fuel. During pit stops, this happens;**

Joy: The #33 car – TOO FAST ENTERING PIT ROAD! That's a drive-thru penalty.

Grim: Oh, come on! I wasn't even going that fast!

Mandy: Just shut up and serve the drive-thru penalty.

Grim: Whatever.

**Grim is caught speeding on pit road and will have to serve a drive-thru penalty. Anyway, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ed (27)**

**2. Frylock (15)**

**3. Applejack (18)**

**4. Beavis (24)**

**5. Stan Smith (7)**

**6. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**7. Kenny McCormick (39)**

**8. Edd (29)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**On lap 45...**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 45, let's Crank it Up!

...

**Edd makes it in to the top 5 on lap 51.**

**Applejack is able to pass Frylock for 2****nd**** on lap 55. By lap 59, she's caught up with Ed. But try as she might, Ed just will not let her get by.**

** Meanwhile, Stan Smith has passed Beavis for 3****rd**** place on lap 60; he catches up with Applejack and Ed on lap 66, resulting in another three-way battle for the lead. Stan passes Applejack on lap 69, and on lap 74...**

McReynolds: Here comes Stan Smith to Ed's outside...

D.W: He's got 'im!

Klaus: You're clear of the #27, and you're in the lead.

Stan: Fuck yeah!

**At around lap 77, attention is drawn to a heated battle for the 6****th**** position; Kenny McCormick currently has the position while the rookie Jake Long is trying to take it away from him. Kenny manages to hold off Jake for a couple laps... then Jake pulls alongside him to his outside on lap 80. However, he can't complete the pass, and on lap 81, this happens;**

D.W: What the hell was that?

Joy: The #30 car just shot a stream of fire from the driver-side window at the #39 car, and Kenny McCormick is on fire... and he's gone hard in the wall in turn 3!

Kenny: (screaming in anguish)

D.W: Red flag is out!

Trixie: I, uh, don't see why that was necessary, but it worked. Good job.

Jake: Thanks, Trix.

McReynolds: You know guys; this kind of reminds me of that deleted scene in Star Wars: Episode I where Sebulba set that one pod on fire in much the same way.

D.W: Just don't tell Ahsoka Tano; she might "get ideas!"

**On lap 81, Jake Long, using his dragon powers, breathes a jet of fire out through his driver-side window and right on to Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, setting his car on fire. Kenny panics; his car loses control and slams in to the outside retaining wall in turn 3. In no time, the fire gets inside of the car; Jake's fire is so potent that Kenny's firesuit doesn't stand a chance. It is instantly consumed, and then the flames start to melt away Kenny's flesh, and every other part of him. By the time track crews and paramedics get to the scene and put the fire out, Kenny's body has been reduced to a crisp.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**The race is red-flagged to allow for cleanup of this wreckage.**

**...**

** When the wreckage is cleaned, the race goes from red flag to yellow flag. Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford, running 1 lap down in 31****st**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars all retreat on to pit road, each one taking four tires and fuel. It all goes smoothly, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Stan Smith (7)**

**2. Ed (27)**

**3. Beavis (24)**

**4. Frylock (15)**

**5. Applejack (18)**

**6. Jake Long [R]**

**7. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**9. Edd (29)**

**10. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**The restart is initiated on lap 90.**

** Beavis makes it past Ed for 2****nd**** on lap 94. By lap 97 he's challenging Stan Smith for the lead. Stan holds him off for a few laps, then Beavis slips by going through turn 2 on lap 101 and takes the lead.**

Todd: Clear... you're on top, Beavis!

Beavis: Damn right, I'm on top! The man's always on top, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!

**Meanwhile, on lap 104, Twilight Sparkle makes it in to the top 5.**

** On lap 110;**

Joy: The #9 car is off the pace!

Ferb: Everything's overheated – we can't go on!

Baljeet: (sigh) Bring her in, then. We're done.

Ferb: (sigh) 10-4.

**On lap 110, due to problems with the cooling system, Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt-Stanley Ford overheats, and all of its systems stop function. With a heavy heart, Ferb coasts his car on to pit road, and in to the garage area, retiring from the event.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 116, Frylock has made his way right up to Beavis's rear bumper. Beavis tries to hold him off, but Frylock jumps in to the lead on lap 119.**

** Then, on lap 123...**

Joy: We got trouble in turn 4!

McReynolds: The #20 car of Rainbow Dash has gone hard in the wall in turn 4, it looks like her car is totaled, and the caution flag is out!

D.W: Hey guys. Guess who made her wreck?

McReynolds: The #42?

D.W: Yep. The #42.

Rainbow Dash: ARRGH! That BITCH!

Anakin: AHSOKA! That is NOT the Jedi way!

Ahsoka: Bitch was in my way, what was I supposed to do, just let her go?

Anakin: (facepalm) Ugh!

**On lap 123, Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet clips the right-rear of Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, causing Rainbow Dash to spin to the right and crash head-on into the outside retaining wall.**

** The car is totaled. Rainbow Dash is okay, but she is steaming! She gets out of her car – while the wreckage is being cleaned, she waits for Ahsoka Tano to come back around under caution, and when she does, she flies up and throws her helmet at her car – it bounces off of the windshield.**

Ahsoka: That was just a plain low blow!

Anakin: Joe Gibbs Racing runs strong with the Dark Side of the Force, Padawan, even though they're not Force-sensitive. I'm praying that you don't become consumed by their deceitful ways.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**Meanwhile, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 27****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The surviving cars once again enter the pit road, each taking four tires and fuel. During pit stops, this happens;**

Joy: Ahsoka Tano – TOO FAST EXITING PIT ROAD!

Ahsoka: Is THIS what I get for taking out someone who was in my way?

Anakin: Apparently. Just do the drive-thru – we'll come back.

Ahsoka: (sigh) Yes, Master.

**Ahsoka Tano is caught speeding on pit road and will have to serve a drive-thru penalty. Meanwhile, here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Frylock (15)**

**2. Beavis (24)**

**3. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**4. Ed (27)**

**5. Stan Smith (7)**

**6. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**7. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**8. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**9. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**10. William Murderface (47)**

**On lap 130;**

Joy: RESTART, with 70 laps to go, let's Crank It Up!

...

**Twilight Sparkle moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 134; Ed moves up to 3****rd**** on lap 137.**

** The two both catch up to Frylock on lap 141. Ed gets past Twilight Sparkle for 2****nd**** on lap 145. Then, on lap 149, Ed gets underneath of Frylock going through turn 4, and takes the lead.**

Jonny: Plank says you're back in the lead, Ed!

Ed: Woo-hoo!

**Twilight Sparkle passes Frylock to get back up to the 2****nd**** position on lap 150. She catches back up to Ed on lap 156, and retakes the lead on lap 161. Right after that happens;**

Joy: Big trouble in turn 1, three cars involved!

D.W: The #5, #10 and #51 have all crashed hard in the wall in turn 1!

McReynolds: Caution is out.

**A multi-car crash occurs on lap 161 in turn 1. The cars involved are Abigail Lincoln's #5 Farmer's Insurance Chevrolet, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet, and Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet. Neither car is able to continue. Abigail Ben and Kim all get out of their cars and bicker for a little while before being led away to the infield care center.**

** Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford, running 1 lap down in 25****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The surviving cars come down pit road one last time, obtaining the four tires and fuel needed to make it the rest of the way. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**2. Ed (27)**

**3. Frylock (15)**

**4. Beavis (24)**

**5. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**6. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**8. Stan Smith (7)**

**9. William Murderface (47)**

**10. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**The race is restarted on lap 168... 32 laps to go. **

** Ed retakes the lead on lap 174.**

** Jake Long makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 180.**

** Daria Morgendorffer cracks the top 5 on lap 186; Hank Venture follows suit on lap 193.**

** Meanwhile, Ed takes the white flag on lap 200 and never looks back;**

Joy: Coming off of turn 4 for the final time; the checkered flag is out, and Ed will win the Auto Club 400!

Sarah: Great drivin', big brother!

Jonny: YES! Plank says you won, Ed?

Ed: I did?

Jonny: Yeah, we did!

Ed: YAY!

**Ed wins the Auto Club 400; Daria Morgendorffer is 2****nd****, Jake Long claims 3****rd****, Hank Venture takes 4****th****, Twilight Sparkle gets 5****th****, Frylock finishes 6****th****, Stan Smith comes in 7****th****, Beavis places 8****th****, William Murderface gets 9****th****, and The Warden rounds out the top 10.**

** Ed does a burnout in front of the fans as they cheer, and then parks his car in Victory Lane. As he gets out, his race team cheers loudly as he celebrates amidst the confetti. Then Erin Andrews tries to interview him;**

Erin: Ed, a great win for you today; how'd you pull it off?

Ed: Uh, I just drove the car, and no one passed me, and I won.

Erin: Uh, is that it?

Ed: Uh, yes. I want some butter toast, now!

Erin: Okay, well great job, Ed.

Ed: Aww, thanks!

**Auto Club 400 race results;**

**1. Ed (27)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88)**

**3. Jake Long [R] (30)**

**4. Hank Venture [R] (13)**

**5. Twilight Sparkle (11)**

**6. Frylock (15)**

**7. Stan Smith (7)**

**8. Beavis (24)**

**9. William Murderface (47)**

**10. The Warden (32)**

**11. Edd (29)**

**12. Katara (34)**

**13. Gumball Watterson (87)**

**14. Applejack (18)**

**15. Eddy (31)**

**16. Foxxy Love (98)**

**17. Spongebob SquarePants (78)**

**18. Sokka (38)**

**19. Homer Simpson (83)**

**20. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42)**

**21. Butt-Head (48)**

**22. Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)**

**23. Danny Phantom (16)**

**24. Eric Cartman (14)**

**25. Peter Griffin (93)**

**26. Hank Hill (95) (1 lap down)**

**27. Timmy Turner (17) (1 lap down)**

**28. Phineas Flynn (43) (1 lap down)**

**29. Grim (33) (1 lap down)**

**30. Dudley Puppy (99) (1 lap down)**

**31. Master Shake (1 lap down)**

**32. Aang (2 laps down)**

**33. Meatwad (2 laps down)**

**34. Bender (22) (2 laps down)**

**35. Early Cuyler (21) (3 laps down)**

**36. Francine Smith (36) (3 laps down)**

**37. Abigail Lincoln (DNF; accident)**

**38. Ben Tennyson (10) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Kim Possible (51) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Rainbow Dash (20) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Ferb Fletcher (9) (DNF; overheating)**

**42. Kenny McCormick (39) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Nigel Uno (DNF; engine)**

**Point standings after 5 of 36 races;**

**1. Ed (27); 128 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (88); 126 points**

**3. Eddy (31); 125 points**

**4. Danny Phantom (16); 124 points**

**5. Twilight Sparkle (11)/Beavis (24)/Edd (29); 123 points**

**8. Timmy Turner (17); 122 points**

**9. Homer Simpson (83)/Butt-Head (48)/Eric Cartman (14); 120 points**

**12. Frylock (15); 119 points**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (13)/Stan Smith (7); 117 points**

**15. William Murderface (47)/Spongebob SquarePants (78); 116 points**

**17. Jake Long [R] (30)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (2)/Peter Griffin (93)/Dudley Puppy (99); 115 points**

**21. Foxxy Love (98); 114 points**

**22. Ahsoka Tano [R] (42); 112 points**

**23. Phineas Flynn (43); 111 points**

**24. Ferb Fletcher (9)/Nigel Uno (1); 110 points**

**26. Katara (34)/Sokka (38)/Master Shake (55); 109 points**

**29. Hank Hill (95)/Ben Tennyson (10); 108 points**

**31. Bender (22); 106 points**

**32. Aang (35); 105 points**

**33. The Warden (32); 104 points**

**34. Francine Smith (36); 103 points**

**35. Meatwad (56)/Abigail Lincoln (5)/Rainbow Dash (20); 102 points**

**38. Gumball Watterson (87)/Early Cuyler (21); 101 points**

**40. Applejack (18); 97 points**

**41. Grim (33); 94 points**

**42. Kenny McCormick (39); 82 points**

**43. Kim Possible (51); 80 points**

** Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer (88); 54 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano (42); 52 points**

**3. Hank Venture (13); 49 points**

**4. Jake Long (30); 48 points**

** Next race; STP Gas Booster 500 at Martinsville Speedway.**


	12. The Fight

Now that the Auto Club 400 is over and done with, it is now time for this side story that goes into what happened afterwards;

Back on lap 161 of the race, there was a multi-car crash in turn 1, involving Abigail Lincoln, Ben Tennyson and Kim Possible. Cree Lincoln, spotter and sister of Abigail, became particularly worried for her younger sibling after the crash occurred; right after Abigail was taken to the infield care center, Cree immediately rushed down from the spotter's stand and through the tunnel to get to the infield. From there, she headed to the front door of the infield care center and waited impatiently for Abigail to come out.

Eventually, Abigail emerged from the infield. Cree immediately asked her in a worried tone, "Oh, are you okay, Abby? PLEASE tell me you're okay!"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Abby replied calmly. "The safety features of these racecars really do wonders, you know."

"Oh, thank God!" Cree heaved out a huge sigh of relief as she wrapped her sister in a big hug. "I don't know WHAT I'd do if something happened to you!"

"Don't worry about it," said Abby as they pulled apart. "I'm okay, and that's what matters. May as well see how this race turns out, now."

"Eh, why not?" Cree shrugged. From here, the two parted ways for the time being.

...

Sometime after the race is over (with Ed emerging victorious), Cree heaves her body up and starts on her way back to her team's hauler. She's almost there when she spots someone; it's Kim Possible, the driver of the #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet, and one of the drivers that Abigail was in that big crash with earlier. "YOU!" Cree growls in anger.

"What's your problem?" Kim scoffs.

"What's MY problem?" Cree retorts. "YOU were the one who wrecked my little sister!"

"Don't look at me!" Kim shouts back. "I didn't do it – that bastard Ben Tennyson wrecked us both!"

"Excuse me?" says another angry female voice. Cree and Kim look to see Gwen Tennyson, cousin of Ben Tennyson, staring them both down. "It was YOUR sister who started it!"

"That is bullcrap!" roars Cree. "She was in front of both of you assholes!"

"She was in their way!" Gwen shoots back. "So it totally WAS her fault!"

"Face it," scoffs Kim, "your sister's a bad driver. And your cousin, too," she adds, turning to Gwen.

"Hey, I don't let ANYONE get away with talking shit about my sister, you hear me?" bellows Cree.

"Really?" Gwen replies with her arms folded. "You're really gonna defend your sister, who literally sucks that fat-ass Hoagie Gilligan's tiny cock?"

"Oh, that DOES it!" In a fit of rage, Cree rips off her shirt and bra, leaving her entire torso totally bare. Kim and Gwen, knowing what's coming, do the same, exposing their chests as well. After a brief stare-down, Cree lunges at Kim and Gwen, and the fight begins.

Meanwhile, Eric Cartman is returning to his team's hauler, ready to pack up and leave. That's when he stumbles across the cat-fight; the sight of three topless teenage girls fighting each other makes his jaw drop. It takes a second for him to regain his composure, but right after he does, he takes off and runs by the haulers shouting out to everyone, "Cat-fight! There's a cat-fight back there! C'mon everyone, you gotta see this!"

Cartman runs back to the scene of the fight, followed by a number of other eager male characters, including Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, Roger Smith, Steve Smith, Timmy Turner, Dudley Puppy, Early Cuyler, Master Shake, Frylock, Meatwad, William Murderface, Hank Venture, Beavis, Butt-Head, and Eddy.

They arrive at the fight scene to see the girls still going at it, even though their lower clothing is ripping apart. By this point, Cree, Gwen and Kim start to yank at each other's hair, pulling at it harshly in such a manner that it makes Kim's body move and up and down, jiggling her breasts in plain view of the male onlookers.

But eventually, she breaks free and lands a punch right on Gwen's jaw, knocking her over. Then Cree and Kim both double-team her, delivering punches and kicks all over her body. By now, what's left of their pants and panties have fallen off completely, and they're all totally naked. All of the male onlookers become aroused at the sight of this; several, including Shake, Beavis, Butt-Head and Cartman, pull down their pants and start to stroke on their hard members as they watch this cat-fight continue to unfold.

Gwen eventually over-powers both Cree and Kim; she starts to punch on Cree while Kim attacks both of them from the side. Then Cree and Gwen both turn on Kim with a series of fists, barely allowing Kim to get back in it. But when she does, she turns to Cree and kicks her in her perineum area between her anus and her genitals with such force that a small load of fecal matter is released from Cree's anus, right in front of the male onlookers. However, it blends in with her skin, so no one notices. The one thing that everyone does notice is Cree groaning in intense pain from the blow as she collapses to the hard pavement. Seizing the chance, Kim pounces on her and delivers more punches, kicks, knees and elbows while Gwen yanks her hair with extreme force. All Cree can do is cry out in pain and hope someone hears her...

Meanwhile, word has got out to Abigail Lincoln, Ben Tennyson and Ron Stoppable (Abigail's sister, Gwen's cousin and Kim's boyfriend) that their "family members" are involved in an argument. They meet each other and head towards the scene to see what's up. They then notice the sounds of female screaming and growling, accompanied my male cheering, making them very worried. They are then petrified by what they see next; there they see their "family members," totally naked and going at it like wild dogs. Kim still has Cree pinned to the ground while punching her and Gwen is still yanking her hair.

And Master Shake, Beavis, Butt-Head, and Eric Cartman are still masturbating over all of this. Just as they're all about to shoot their loads on the fighting girls, Abby, Ben and Ron appear on the scene.

"STOP FIGHTING!" they all say. Ben and Ron manage to pull Gwen and Kim off of Cree. Cree then tries to lunge at them both, but Abby takes hold at her. Cree, Gwen and Kim continue to try and get each other, but Abby, Ben and Ron pull them away gradually.

"Hey, I was just about to climax!" Shake jabs at them. He and all the male onlookers harshly boo at Abby, Ben and Ron as they pull their girls away for spoiling the fun they were having. As they disappear from sight, they see some brown material lying on the pavement; the result of Kim's kick to Cree's perineum.

"Uh, it is me, or did Cree shit herself?" asks Steve.

"Ooh, yum!" exclaims Early. The squid crawls up to the fecal matter, and to everyone's shock, starts eating it off of the pavement. "Mmm, sweet. Delicious," he says as he chews. Everyone else just backs away awkwardly without saying a word.

Meanwhile, Kim is still trying to escape Ron's grasp. "Let me go, dammit!" she snaps as she continues to break free so she can get back at Cree and Gwen. Seeing no other way to stop her, Ron plants a long, hard, passionate kiss on Kim's lips.

When he stops, Kim is sobered up. She realizes what she has done to herself, the scene she made in front of everyone, and is destroyed inside. She falls into Ron's arms, still naked, and starts to sob hysterically. All Ron can do is hold her. "Shhh. It's okay. It's all over. I got you," he whispers as she cries. The sensation of her naked body against his body gets him a bit aroused, but he ignores that and instead focuses on comforting his girlfriend.

...

"What was that all about?" Ben asks Gwen.

"Okay, so we had an argument about that crash earlier," Gwen explains, "and it got really heated, and, well..."

"Well, are you okay, at least?"

"Yeah, I think I'm alright. Let's just get out of here before anything else happens."

"I'm with you on that. But put something on, for God's sake! Those are for Kevin's eyes only – I already have Julie for that sort of crap."

Gwen is able to find a towel to wrap around herself, covering her body. She and Ben then find their way out of the speedway.

...

"They were staying bad stuff about you," Cree is explaining to her sister. "I had to stick up for you!"

"What did they say?" Abby asks out of curiosity.

"Uh, well," Cree says nervously, "it was something about you sucking Hoagie's tiny cock that set me off."

"That's just messed up," Abby replies. "Besides, Hoagie gives me all the oral action. And he's actually VERY well-endowed!"

"Okay, I did not need to know that!" Cree reels.

Abby, with nothing more to say, envelops her sister in a hug, even though she's still naked, and say, "Well, I'm just glad you're okay."

"Me, too!" Cree sniffs as she sheds a couple of tears. "It's okay," Abby croons. "It's over now."

Abby continues to hold Cree for a little while. When she's gotten a grip, the two pull apart, Cree finds a towel to cover herself with, and then they take their leave from the speedway...


	13. Easter In Springfield

Now normally I wouldn't do two side stories in succession, but NASCAR does take the Easter weekend off, thus allowing everyone in the business to also take the weekend off. So, I guess it is worth taking a look at what one or two certain characters do with that time off...

We segue into a mid-sized town called Springfield – it is impossible to determine what state it is in, so don't ask. The more specific setting that we look at first is 742 Evergreen Terrace, the home of the family known the Simpsons, who of course, are involved with the #83 team from BK Racing.

Even though it is Easter Sunday, nothing exciting is happening; as usual since winning the championship, Homer and Marge, other than attending to their kids' basic needs, have not been paying any more attention to them than that, as they have come to care more about their NASCAR business than everything else. Right now, the two are just lazily flipping through channels on the TV, without any other cares at the moment.

As for their kids; baby Maggie is sitting on Marge's lap, because she is a baby, and constant attention is part of a baby's basic needs. Their older daughter Lisa is in her room, playing her saxophone.

And then there's their mischievous son Bart, who serves as spotter for his dad. He is sneaking out through his bedroom window; he climbs out, scales the clothesline that leads to his treehouse, and gets down to the ground from there. He is sneaking out because he has plans to meet with someone; he walks about a block away to avoid suspicion. Normally he'd sneak out to see his friend Milhouse Van Houten, but in this instance, he's seeing another friend;

"Hi Bart!" Fluttershy greets him. Fluttershy is the crew chief of the #20 Dollar General Toyota from Joe Gibbs Racing; ever since the preseason banquet, she's provided emotional support and friendship for Bart during the race weekends, since his parents haven't been giving them that. Today is the first time they've met outside of a NASCAR racetrack.

"Hi Fluttershy," Bart smiles back. "I just had to get out of there; it's been SO boring!"

"What, your parents don't have anything planned for you this Easter?" asks Fluttershy.

"What do you expect?" replies Bart. "It's like they've stopped caring about me and Lisa."

Fluttershy puts a hoof on Bart's shoulder and reassures him, "Hey, I care. You know what? Don't worry about them! Perhaps we can just go around town and do some stuff that you like. So?"

"Well, I did take a crapload of money with me on my way out," says Bart. "And there is this place that I go to buy comics and stuff, maybe we can go browse through them right now?"

Fluttershy nods her approval, and the two friends then walk into town, and into the Android's Dungeon and Baseball Card Shop, but they're not so pleasantly welcomed...

"Whoa, this is a comic book store, not a girly toy shop!" Comic Book Guy snaps at them.

"Oh come on, she's my friend!" Bart pleads. "Hey, she may even buy something!"

"Oh, alright," Comic Book Guy reluctantly relents. "But she better not infect anything with her girliness!" As Bart and Fluttershy start to browse through comics, Comic Book Guy mutters under his breath, "My Little Pony – worst cartoon ever!"

"Who's Radioactive Man?" asks Fluttershy.

"Only the coolest superhero ever!" answers Bart. "The latest issue just came out – apparently it has something to do with his sidekick Fallout Boy turning on him or something."

"Wait, isn't Fall Out Boy a band?" Fluttershy asks, confused.

Bart says, "Yeah, but they suck balls. The Damned Things are pretty good, though. But they're on hiatus. Whatever, I digress. What do you think of the comics?"

Fluttershy thinks for a second and says, "Oh what the heck, I'll buy one."

"Cool!" says Bart. And so he and Fluttershy pay for their comics and leave.

"Whaddya wanna do now?" asks Fluttershy.

"Well, it is about time for lunch," says Bart, "but I don't wanna go back to my parents. Hey, I know! There's this restaurant called the Krusty Burger – you and I should go there and just pig out! C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Alright," Fluttershy sheepishly shrugs.

When they get to the Krusty Burger, Bart orders a large chicken sandwich with all available toppings and side orders. Fluttershy just wants small fries and a small drink. Bart dares her to go further, saying, "C'mon, have a little testosterone with your estrogen, heh heh heh!" Fluttershy insists on going small, so Bart just shrugs it off and they take their food.

Bart digs into his large chicken sandwich like a madman, ravenously scarfing it down in very large bites. "Wow, you really can eat," acknowledges Fluttershy as she nibbles on her fries.

"Hey, what can I say, I like to eat a lot," shrugs Bart as he pats his belly. "Here, I saved you a piece of my chicken sandwich." Fluttershy opens her mouth and Bart sticks the piece of the sandwich then, then Fluttershy chews it up and swallow it. "It's good," she smiles. Bart returns her smile. Then, the two gulp down their drinks, throw their trash away and head out of the restaurant.

Later on, they head over to Noiseland Video Arcade. "I like to hang out here a lot," Bart explains. He leads Fluttershy to the boxing game system and challenges her to a round. Fluttershy blushes out of sheer nervousness. "Oh c'mon, it's only a game," Bart says. Fluttershy is very nervous, but she trots up to the Player 2 platform as Bart starts the game.

"Now c'mon, punch me!" Bart challenges. Fluttershy simply stares at the punch button, afraid to press it. "It's only a game, dang it!" says Bart. Fluttershy shrugs, and hits the punch button; her character hits Bart's character right in the jaw.

"Damn, that was pretty good!" acknowledges Bart. "Now have some of this!" He presses his punch button and his character hits Fluttershy's character on the jaw. This here is what allows Fluttershy's competitive spirit to seep through. "Oh, is that all you've got?" she snickers. And with that, she and Bart begin to pound away at each other in the game, extending punches nonstop. Next thing, they know, Bart's character is knocked out; Fluttershy scores the knockout and wins the match.

"Ay caramba!" exclaims Bart. "You actually beat me! Wow, you're one hell of a fighter. Pound it!" He offers her his fist. Fluttershy sheepishly grins as she holds up her hoof and they "pound it."

At around late afternoon, the two friends find themselves at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama, the bowling alley. "Wanna bowl a few rounds?" offers Bart.

"Sure, why not?" says Fluttershy. With that, she and Bart get a round set up; Bart is the first to go, on his first frame, he gets a spare. But Fluttershy responds with a strike.

...

But eventually, Bart makes a comeback, and by the last round, he pulls ahead of Fluttershy with a 250-240 score, winning the game.

"Well, there you have it," says Bart. "You beat me at boxing, I beat you at bowling – we're even."

As a gesture, Fluttershy offers her hoof to Bart and says, "Pound it, friend!" Bart lets loose a hearty chuckle, and the two friends pound it once more.

...

That evening, Bart and Fluttershy find themselves back at Bart's place. "Well, it's been really fun hanging out with you," Bart says. "I can't remember the last time I've had a day this good... at least with my own family."

"I had fun, too," Fluttershy replies. "I don't care what anyone else says, you're really a pretty cool guy, and you are fun to be with."

"Aww, thanks," Bart blushes. "I just have one more favor to ask – I don't want my parents to know I've been out – not that they'll care, of course, but could you give me a lift up to my bedroom window, so I can sneak back in without my parents noticing?"

"Uh, I can try," Fluttershy answers, unsure of her own strength. Bart then gets on Fluttershy's back; Fluttershy then starts flapping her wings and starts to gain altitude. It's a somewhat great effort, but without much trouble, she manages to lift Bart up and through his bedroom window just as Homer and Marge leave the house to go out to dinner...

Just as Bart and Fluttershy enter Bart's bedroom through the window, Bart's sister Lisa shows up through the door and is initially shocked when she's Fluttershy. But she figures out that they came in through the window, and she recognizes the pony as well. "You must be Fluttershy," she says. "Bart's told me about you and your blossoming friendship. I'm Lisa, by the way."

"Oh yeah, we just spent some time in the town, enjoying a day as friends," Fluttershy replies. "It was pretty fun."

"I bet," says Lisa. "Well, it's great that Bart's found a friend in you – both of us have felt really left out since our parents' NASCAR success."

With a heavy heart, Bart walks up to Lisa and says to Fluttershy, "You know, me and her used to be at each other's throats all the time... now she's pretty much the only one here for me." As he says this, two tears form in his eyes. Lisa takes notice and pulls Bart in for a gentle hug. "It's okay, big brother," she croons as she pats him on the back.

Fluttershy can't help but feel a tugging sensation in her heart as she watches this display of emotion. She trots up to the two siblings and says, "Hey Bart, you don't have just her anymore. You have me now!" Bart glances up at Fluttershy; two more tears form in his eyes as she smiles upon him. He then opens up one of his arms and allows Fluttershy to embrace him, putting him in a double-hug with her and Lisa. A few more tears and sniffs come out of him; both Lisa and Fluttershy pat and rub his back, comforting him.

When Bart calms down and they all pull apart, Bart turns to Fluttershy and says in a rather shy tone, "I wish you were my mother!"

Fluttershy can't help but chuckle, almost hurting Bart's feelings. But she turns it around, saying, "Please. You wouldn't want me bossing you around with chores and homework, would you?"

"You do have a point," replies Bart.

"But I could be like a sister... er, a sister figure, that is," offers Fluttershy. "Whaddya say?"

Bart thinks for a second and decides, "Well, I already consider you a real dear friend, but I don't know about sister. Sister figure, maybe."

Fluttershy giggles and rubs Bart's head, making him blush. Bart then says, "You know what, I feel weird saying this, but I'll say it anyway." He spreads his arms and says to Fluttershy and Lisa, "I love you, guys!"

Fluttershy and Lisa envelop Bart in another group hug as they say in unison, "We love you too, Bart." They stay like this for a moment, and then they pull apart.

"Alright, well it's getting late," says Lisa. "I'm gonna turn in." She bids Bart and Fluttershy good night, and then heads to her own room to get some sleep.

At the same time, Bart changes into his pajamas and gets into his bed. As Fluttershy tucks him in, Bart says, "We should do this more often. You and I should hang out again sometime."

"I'd like that." replies Fluttershy. She kisses Bart on the forehead and says sweetly, "Well, goodnight, pal!" Then she takes off and flies out of the window, closing it behind her. And Bart, satisfied with his day, drifts off to sleep.


	14. STP Gas Booster 500

** As if it couldn't get more tense, not only do we have such a narrow overall points margin, but we will now have some of the closest, tightest racing in the season; the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series now finds itself at the shortest track on the circuit, Martinsville Speedway! Based in Martinsville, Virginia, this track is a 0.526-mile oval; it features long straights coupled by real tight turns – this is what gives the track its nickname, "The Paperclip," and is also notorious for doing a real number on the car's brakes. The turns are banked at 12 degrees, and the straights are totally flat.**

** This race shall be known as the STP Gas Booster 500; it will be 500 laps long, which will equal 263 miles.**

** The skies are cloudy, as there are showers nearby, but none are predicted to hit the track.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Applejack (#18)**

**4. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**6. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Master Shake (#55)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. Aang (#35)**

**11. Butt-Head (#48)**

**12. Beavis (#24)**

**13. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**14. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**15. Bender (#22)**

**16. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**17. Francine Smith (#36)**

**18. The Warden (#32)**

**19. Hank Hill (#95)**

**20. Katara (#34)**

**21. Sokka (#38)**

**22. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**23. Ahsoka Tano [R]**

**24. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**25. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**26. Edd (#29)**

**27. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**28. Eddy (#31)**

**29. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**30. Ed (#27)**

**31. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**32. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**33. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**34. Frylock (#15)**

**35. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**36. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**37. Stan Smith (#7)**

**38. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**39. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**40. Grim (#33)**

**41. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**42. William Murderface (#47)**

**43. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**FOX?**

Joy: The only remaining original track on the NASCAR circuit – Martinsville Speedway, is where we will be racing this week. Long straights, tight turns, and only a half-mile long, this track features constant bumping and grinding, and major wear and tear on brakes. Today, the quirky animated drivers of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will put themselves through all this and more in this year's running of the STP Gas Booster 500! Hello again everyone, I'm Mike Joy, alongside former crew chief Larry McReynolds and former driver Darrell Waltrip, thanks for having us in for the race.

McReynolds: Well, I know one thing; we're in for one hell of a slobber-knocker here today! I've said it many times before, guys; we all know how cartoon characters can be in these cars. And we all most CERTAINLY know how drivers are always beating and banging on each other at this track... so I'm actually a little bit scared to think of what's gonna happen here!

D.W: That makes me think of Ahsoka Tano and Rainbow Dash and the rivalry developing between them. We've seen them wreck each other week in and week out these past few weeks. And this track, with its beatin' and bangin' that its known for – even though Dash and Ahsoka will be separated by 19 spots at the start of this thing, you can still expect them to butt heads again today!

Joy: Indeed, we may very well see that and more, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the legendary cyborg detective, Inspector Gadget!

Gadget: Wowsers, ladies and gentletoons! Start your engines!

Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**43 850 hp engines are fired up once again. The cars warm up, then the pace car leads them out.**

Joy: Now let's see who will be starting where in this STP Gas Booster 500; Kim Possible has only her 2nd pole of her career, and in 2nd is Kenny McCormick, who just won't stay dead! In 3rd and 4th are the ponies Applejack and Rainbow Dash. In 5th spot is Number 1 himself, Nigel Uno, and his good friend Abigail Lincoln rolls off in 6th. Two fast food items, the piece of meat Meatwad, and the drinking cup Master Shake will be in 7th and 8th. The alien boy Ben Tennyson will start 9th, and rounding out the top 10 will be the airbender Aang.

D.W: Ahsoka Tano, it's D.W. from the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Ahsoka: 10-4, D.W.

D.W: Now, uh, we all know about your developing feud with Rainbow Dash – perhaps you could shed some light on that?

Ahsoka: Well, my master told me that she runs strong with the dark side of the Force... and I think I'm beginning to agree with him. I watched all of the last NASCAR season, and I remember all the lowbrow tactics that she and those other ponies used. I don't think Rainbow Dash deserved to compete for the title last year; and I sure as hell won't let her do it this year!

D.W: Strong words. Well, uh, what about the track? How you handling it?

Ahsoka: Eh, I'm handling it okay. The real challenge will be clawing back up from 23rd place, what with how packed this racing is. But I know I can do it, and I know I'll be getting my hands on that pony before this is over!

D.W: Well, good luck out there, and may the Force be with you.

Ahsoka: Thanks, D.W.

...

**Eventually, the pace car pulls off on to pit road, and while going through turns 3 and 4, the cars are turned loose by the waving of the green flag.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Kim Possible and Kenny McCormick both jump out a good distance ahead of the pack on the start. Kim Possible retains the lead for a while – then she and Kenny McCormick swap positions on lap 9, putting Kenny up in the lead.**

** Nigel Uno moves up to 3****rd**** on lap 15, passing Rainbow Dash and Applejack in a single combo move.**

** On lap 24, a three-way battle for the lead has ensued, between Kenny McCormick, Kim Possible and Nigel Uno. Kim Possible gains the lead back on lap 28. Nigel Uno then gets up to 2****nd**** on lap 35, sneaking by Kenny McCormick.**

Rachel: Alright, let's get that #51!

Nigel: 10-4, Rach!

**On lap 41...**

McReynolds: Oh, man! Kim Possible had a big slip-up in the turn there – Nigel Uno's in the lead!

Kim: Oh, for the love of God!

Ron: Don't sweat it, you'll get 'im back.

Monty: You're clear and you're in the lead, Nigel, old bean!

Nigel: 10-4, Dad!

**Meanwhile, on lap 51, Ahsoka Tano makes it in to the top 15.**

** Rainbow Dash falls down out of the top 5 on lap 60.**

** Applejack, on lap 70, then passes Kenny McCormick for 3****rd****. She passes Kim Possible for 2****nd**** on lap 82...**

Monty: Look out – the #18 car's right behind you.

Nigel: 10-4... oh crap!

**Nigel Uno is all over the track, trying to keep Applejack out of the lead. Applejack is also all over the track, trying to get past Nigel, but Nigel manages to hold her off... that is, until lap 94;**

D.W: Oh, and there goes Applejack on the inside – she's got 'im!

Apple Bloom: New leader – that's you, sis!

Applejack: Yay!

**Applejack is still leading on lap 105 when...**

Joy: And there's trouble in turn 3!

McReynolds: The #88 of Daria Morgendorffer is head-on into the end of pit wall, caution is out!

Daria: Ugh! Who the hell did that?

Jane: I couldn't quite make it out...

Daria: Oh, forget it. Let's just get the hell outta here.

**On lap 105, Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet gets shoved to the inside and cut off – with nowhere else to go, she runs head-on into the end of the pit wall, totally destroying the front end of her car. Daria gets out unharmed and is taken to the infield care center as her destroyed racecar is towed away.**

** Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30****th****, gets the free pass.**

** Everyone else takes to the pits to make their first service stops of the race – everyone gets four tires and fuel. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Applejack (#18)**

**2. Kim Possible (#51)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**7. Butt-Head (#48)**

**8. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**9. Bender (#22)**

**10. Master Shake (#55)**

**On lap 115;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 115, let's Crank It Up!

...

**On lap 127;**

McReynolds: Look at this – the #51 of Kim Possible has taken the lead!

Ann: New leader – the #51 car!

Kim: 10-4, Mom!

Applejack: (cringes)

**On lap 136, Ahsoka Tano makes her way in to the top 10.**

** Kenny McCormick makes it back up to 2****nd**** place on lap 149. By lap 156, he's caught back up with Kim Possible, resulting in another battle for the lead. Kim holds him off until lap 169;**

Stan: You're in the lead, dude!

Kenny: Mmm-pfm!

**Applejack falls out of the top 5 on lap 180.**

** Kim Possible regains the lead on lap 188.**

** Then, on lap 201;**

Joy: We got smoke coming from – our points leader!

D.W: Ed's blown his engine on lap 201, and the caution is out!

Ed: Uh, why is our car blowing smoke like a dragon?

Jonny: Plank says it's because we've lost our engine. (sigh) We're done.

Ed: ...

**On lap 201, Ed's #27 Menard's Chevrolet blows its engine. Ed reluctantly coasts his car on to pit road and in to the garage area, and is forced to immediately withdraw from the race.**

** Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Once again, everyone else gets four tires and fuel in the pits. It all goes smoothly, and so here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Applejack (#18)**

**7. Beavis (#24)**

**8. Butt-Head (#48)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Ahsoka Tano (#42)**

**The restart is done on lap 210.**

**On lap 219;**

Joy: The #31 car is off the pace!

Rolf: What's going on, three-haired Ed-boy!

Eddy: Dammit, we just lost our brakes! We're screwed!

Rolf: (sighs, shakes head) Rolf is most depressed.

**On lap 219, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet loses its brakes. Eddy manages to coast on to pit road and in to the garage area, subsequently retiring from the race.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 230, Abigail Lincoln passes Kenny McCormick for 2****nd**** place. She catches up with Kim Possible on lap 239, and on lap 251;**

Ann: The #5 car is inside of you... and the #5 car is now clear.

Kim: Crap.

Cree: New leader – that would be you!

Abigail: Ooh, yeah, baby!

**Meanwhile, on lap 260, Master Shake falls out of the top 10. Applejack follows suit on lap 268.**

** As for Kim Possible, she manages to keep up with Abigail Lincoln, regaining the lead on lap 281.**

** Kenny McCormick then slips by Abigail Lincoln on lap 294, to get back in the 2****nd**** position.**

** Meanwhile, we have a very intense battle going on in the back of the pack, between the #16 of Danny Phantom and the #7 of Stan Smith. Stan tries with all that he has got trying to pass the Phantom, but Danny successfully slams the door on him every time he tries to pull it off. Then, on lap 305, Stan, having exhausted his very last nerve, draws his 9mm Glock handgun and points it out at Danny Phantom's left-rear tire...**

McReynolds: And there's trouble, big trouble in turn 1!

D.W: Call me crazy, but I think I saw Stan Smith with a gun in his hand!

Joy: Indeed, Stan Smith shot Danny Phantom's left-rear tire out, and Danny has gone hard in to the wall, his car appears to be totaled, and we have another caution.

...

Roger: Nice shot, Stan!

Stan: That's what he gets for being part host, heh heh!

Danny: Oh, you gotta be freakin' kidding me! That should NOT be legal!

Sam: Well, at least you're okay... and at least he didn't hit you!

Danny: (sigh)

**On lap 305, Stan Smith shoots Danny Phantom's left-rear tire out with his 9mm Glock pistol. Danny's #16 3M Ford loses control and slams hard in to the outside retaining wall in turn 1, thereby being totaled and unable to continue on in this race. Danny, as much as he wants to hit Stan with something, decides not to; instead, he just walks out of his car.**

** Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford, running 1 lap down in 19****th**** gets the free pass.**

** And yet again, all the other cars get four tires and fuel from on pit road. After the pit stops, the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano (#42)**

**7. Aang (#35)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**On lap 315;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 315, let's Crank It Up!

...

**On lap 324;**

Joy: The #29 car is off the pace!

Nazz: Double D, what's happening?

Edd: Our electronic fuel injection seems to have shorted out. I think we're finished.

Nazz: (sigh) 10-4, bring her in.

**On lap 324, Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet loses its electronic fuel injection, effectively disabling the racecar. Edd is forced to retreat on to pit road, pull in to the garage area, and pull out of the race.**

** On lap 336, Ahsoka Tano makes her way in to the top 5.**

** Kenny McCormick regains the lead from Kim Possible on lap 350.**

Kim: I'm gonna kill Kenny!

**Even after Kenny takes the lead and seems like he's ready to pull away from the field, Kim Possible manages to keep up with him. And on lap 365, she takes the lead back.**

** Master Shake falls back out of the top 5 on lap 379.**

** Meanwhile, we have a battle going on for the 4****th**** position, between Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano, who have had a developing rivalry over the past few weeks. On lap 388, Ahsoka Tano passes Rainbow Dash for the 4****th**** spot; but then, on lap 391...**

Joy: Trouble! Turn 2!

McReynolds: Ahsoka Tano's in the wall!

D.W: Yep, and it was Rainbow Dash who hit her; oh boy…

McReynolds: Caution is out, by the way.

**On lap 391, Rainbow Dash clips Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, spinning her around and sending her in to the outside retaining wall in turn 2. Her car is totaled, and she is furious!**

Anakin: Control your anger, Ahsoka!

Ahsoka: No way! I'm getting back at that pony!

Anakin: Don't do it!

**Ahsoka gets out of her car and waits for Rainbow Dash to come back around under caution. When she does, she raises her hands and moves them around…**

D.W: What the f-

McReynolds: Rainbow Dash's car just spontaneously flipped over on to it's roof!

Joy: How the hell did that happen?

Rainbow Dash: What just happened? What did she do to me?

Fluttershy: Um… uh…

Rainbow Dash: That BITCH!

**Ahsoka Tano uses her levitation abilities on Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, causing it to flip over on to its roof. Ahsoka then immediately retreats to the infield before Rainbow Dash can get her hands on her. Realizing that she's out of reach, Rainbow Dash reluctantly gets out of her car, which is then towed away.**

** Meanwhile, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 17****th**** gets the free pass.**

** It is at this point that all the other cars go in for their last pit stops of the race. Everything goes without a hitch; and this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Aang (#35)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Francine Smith (#36)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

**The race is restarted on lap 400; 100 laps to go. Immediately, Kim Possible and Kenny McCormick both pull away from the field.**

** Aang starts to move up the field at around this time. He gets up to 4****th**** on lap 408, and 3****rd**** on lap 420. Then, by lap 433 it becomes a three-way battle for the lead…**

** Aang is able to pass Kenny McCormick for 2****nd**** place on lap 441. Then, on lap 450;**

Joy: Aang has taken the lead from Kim Possible!

Ty Lee: New leader; the #35 car – that's you!

Aang: Awesome!

**Francine Smith moves up in to the top 5 on lap 464. Early Cuyler follows suit on lap 475.**

** Then, on lap 490;**

Joy: Aang ALMOST spun out; and there go Kim Possible and Kenny McCormick!

Aang: UGH!

Toph: Next time, Aang. Next time.

Aang: (sigh)

**Aang almost spins out going through turns 3 & 4, allowing Kim Possible and Kenny McCormick to sneak by. Aang, meanwhile, falls out of contention…**

** The white flag flies on lap 500; Kim Possible is in the lead, while Kenny McCormick is right behind her – however, he is unable to make a pass…**

Joy: Checkered flag is out, and Kim Possible wins the STP Gas Booster 500!

Kim: FINALLY! My first career win in this stupid series!

Ron: You did great, Kimmy! (blows kiss)

Kim: (giggles)

**Kim Possible wins the STP Gas Booster 500, while Kenny McCormick settles for 2****nd****. Aang places 3****rd****, Francine Smith takes 4****th****, Early Cuyler comes in 5****th****, Abigail Lincoln gets 6****th****, Nigel Uno finishes 7****th****, Bender claims 8****th****, Master Shake places 9****th****, and Applejack rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing her celebratory burnout down the front straightaway, Kim Possible celebrates in Victory Lane, cheering for her first win in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series. Then, Erin Andrews moves in for the interview;**

Andrews: Kim Possible, your first win in Cartoon Cup – how you feelin' right now?

Kim: Oh, I never thought I'd be here – ever! I thought it was pretty much over when Aange got ahead of us there, but then he lost it in the turn. But then, I was sure that Kenny was going to get by me at some point, but somehow, I held him off, and, well, here I am! And I couldn't have done it without Phoenix Racing or Phoenix Construction, so I have to thank those guys, as well as my boy Ron Stoppable – he's always been here for me. So, uh, here's to the rest of the season, guys!

Andrews: Great job, Kim.

Kim: Thanks.

…

**STP Gas Booster 500 race results;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Aang (#35)**

**4. Francine Smith (#36)**

**5. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**6. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**7. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Applejack (#18)**

**11. Meatwad (#56)**

**12. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**13. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**14. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**15. Hank Hill (#95)**

**16. Butt-Head (#48)**

**17. Beavis (#24)**

**18. Twilight Sparkle (1 lap down)**

**19. The Warden (#32) (1 lap down)**

**20. Gumball Watterson (#87) (1 lap down)**

**21. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (1 lap down)**

**22. Timmy Turner (#17) (1 lap down)**

**23. Homer Simpson (#83) (1 lap down)**

**24. Peter Griffin (#93) (1 lap down)**

**25. Frylock (#15) (1 lap down)**

**26. Eric Cartman (#14) (1 lap down)**

**27. Stan Smith (#7) (2 laps down)**

**28. Dudley Puppy (#99) (2 laps down)**

**29. Katara (#34) (2 laps down)**

**30. Foxxy Love (#98) (2 laps down)**

**31. William Murderface (#47) (2 laps down)**

**32. Sokka (#38) (3 laps down)**

**33. Grim (#33) (3 laps down)**

**34. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (4 laps down)**

**35. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (4 laps down)**

**36. Jake Long [R] (#30) (5 laps down)**

**37. Rainbow Dash (#20) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Edd (#29) (DNF; electrical)**

**40. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Eddy (#31) (DNF; brakes)**

**42. Ed (#27) (DNF; engine)**

**43. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 6 of 36 races;**

**1. Beavis (#24); 150 points**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 149 points**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)/Butt-Head (#48); 148 points**

**5. Aang (#35); 147 points**

**6. Master Shake (#55)/Timmy Turner (#17); 144 points**

**8. Francine Smith (#36); 143 points**

**9. Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Bender (#22)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Phineas Flynn (#43); 142 points**

**13. Homer Simpson (#83); 141 points**

**14. Early Cuyler (#21); 140 points**

**15. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)/Frylock (#15)/Eric Cartman (#14); 138 points**

**19. Hank Hill (#95); 137 points**

**20. Peter Griffin (#93); 135 points**

**21. Stan Smith (#7); 134 points**

**22. Meatwad (#56); 133 points**

**23. Applejack (#18); 132 points**

**24. Dudley Puppy (#99); 131 points**

**25. Ed (#27); 130 points**

**26. The Warden (#32)/William Murderface (#47); 129 points**

**28. Kim Possible (#51)/Foxxy Love (#98)/Edd (#29)/Danny Phantom (#16)/Eddy (#31); 128 points**

**33. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 127 points**

**34. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Hank Venture [R] (#13); 126 points**

**36. Kenny McCormick (#39)/Gumball Watterson (#87); 125 points**

**38. Katara (#34); 124 points**

**39. Jake Long [R] (#30); 123 points**

**40. Sokka (#38); 121 points**

**41. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 118 points**

**42. Rainbow Dash (#20); 109 points**

**43. Grim (#33); 105 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year Standings;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 61 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 60 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 59 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 57 points**

**Next race; NRA 500 at Texas Motor Speedway.**


	15. NRA 500

**The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series now travels down to the Lone Star State, to what used to be one of the absolute fastest tracks on the NASCAR circuit, Texas Motor Speedway!**

** Based in Fort Worth, Texas, this track is a 1.5-mile long quad-oval; It has a layout that is similar to those of Atlanta Motor Speedway and Charlotte Motor Speedway. The turns are banked at 24 degrees, and the straights are not banked at all.**

** This race will have one of the most controversial names in the history of the sport; the NRA 500. It has, in real life, proved to be offensive to people with certain political ideologies, as well as citizens of the state of Connecticut. The Cartoon Cup Series, however, will take a neutral stance in this; neither supporting or opposing this sponsorship in any way, shape or form.**

** Anyway, the race will be run over 334 laps, for a total of 501 miles. It will be a Saturday night race. No adverse weather conditions are expected to take hold tonight.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Grim (#33)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**7. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**8. William Murderface (#47)**

**9. Edd (#29)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**11. Sokka (#38)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**14. Ed (#27)**

**15. Kim Possible (#51)**

**16. Katara (#34)**

**17. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**18. The Warden (#32)**

**19. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**20. Stan Smith (#7)**

**21. Meatwad (#56)**

**22. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**23. Applejack (#18)**

**24. Butt-Head (#48)**

**25. Beavis (#24)**

**26. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**27. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**28. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**29. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**30. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**31. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**32. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**33. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**34. Frylock (#15)**

**35. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**36. Master Shake (#55)**

**37. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**38. Hank Hill (#95)**

**39. Bender (#22)**

**40. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**41. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**42. Aang (#35)**

**43. Francine Smith (#36)**

**Now tuning to FOX;**

Joy: This will surely be one of THE most controversial races in the history of NASCAR. It has nothing to do with Texas Motor Speedway, nor does it have anything to do with the fact that cartoon characters are driving the cars. But we'll get to that in a minute – what matters most is that the points standings continue to be super close – about 45 points separating 43 cars – and that this will definitely one of the more high-speed races this year; the controversially-named NRA 500. I'm Mike Joy; with me is Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip. Guys, what sort of impact do you think this sponsorship will have on the race here tonight?

McReynolds: None whatsoever. I know some characters like Sam Manson are vehemently against it while others like Stan Smith and Early Cuyler are passionately in support of it, none of these characters appear to be letting it get in their way; so far, none of them have made any threats to boycott the event, and they all appear to be focusing on the task at hand.

D.W: Anyway, I know I keep talking about the feud between Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano, but we could see it escalate to a whole new level here tonight – they're starting 2nd and 3rd. And I know that starting order doesn't matter much on many tracks, I think there's a strong possibility of these two rivals duking it out for the win!

Joy: Well, there is a strong possibility of anything happening here tonight, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, Jack Skellington!

Jack: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**And the 43 cars all fire and rev up their 850 hp engines. After they all warm up, the pace car leads them all out.**

Joy: And let's see how they will be rolling off this week; we have an unusual pole sitter – none other than the Grim Reaper himself. Alongside him, the Jedi Ahsoka Tano. Her rival Rainbow Dash is right behind her in 3rd, and alongside her in 4th is the ghost boy Danny Phantom. In 5th is the scam master Eddy, and the immortal Kenny McCormick will start 6th. Behind them is the sea sponge Spongebob SquarePants in 7th and the death metal bassist William Murderface in 8th. Edd will roll out in 9th, and the rookie Daria Morgendorffer will round out the top 10. And as you look through the rest of the starting grid on your screen, D.W. will be ringing' someone up;

D.W: Hey Daria Morgendorffer, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Daria: Yeah, sure, whatever.

D.W: You've been kind of a sleeper driver so far; you haven't won yet, but you've had some good finishes, and you're leading the Rookie of the Year standings. How you feelin' so far?

Daria: If you must know, I am doing okay, yes. And I would like that Rookie of the Year award, yes, but I REALLY want that Cartoon Cup! I think that Ahsoka is going to be a problem...

D.W: Wow, you sound like Rainbow Dash... but seriously, how is your car handling.

Daria: (shrug) Eh, better than we thought it would. This is a night race, and the cars always handle better on the night races. And I think we have a competitive car for this one, and if anyone doesn't agree with that... screw them!

D.W: Well thanks for speaking with us, and good luck out there.

Daria: Pfft! Whatever!

**After completing the pace laps, the pace car pulls off onto pit road. The cars continue to go forward a little ways – then the green flag turns them loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**For the first few laps of the race, the pack stays pretty bunched together. Then, on lap 6, Grim starts to pull away from the field.**

** At around lap 13, Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano both start pulling away from the pack as well; they then begin jockeying for position.**

Rainbow Dash: Good for nothing Jedi scum!

Ahsoka: Uh, is it me, or do I sense the Dark Side in that #20 car?

Anakin: I sense it too, Snips. Be very careful!

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**On lap 19, William Murderface falls out of the top 10.**

** At around lap 23, Danny Phantom catches up to both Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano. He tries very hard to make it past them, but the two are both all over the track trying to outdo each other, thus preventing Danny from making any forward progress of his own. And sure enough, by lap 30, Danny ends up making the last move that he sees available;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

...

Joy: The #16 just went transparent!

D.W: There he goes – right THROUGH the #20 and the #42!

McReynolds: And just like that, Danny Phantom is up to 2nd place.

Danny: Heh heh, that got 'em!

Sam: It sure did! (blows kiss)

**On lap 30, Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford goes ghost; he drives right through Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota and Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, making it up to 2****nd**** place before rematerializing.**

** Menawhile, on lap 35, Edd makes it up into the top 5.**

** Gradually, Danny Phantom starts to gain ground on Grim, with both Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano right behind him...**

** By lap 42, they all catch up to Grim, ensuing a four-way battle for the lead.**

Grim: What the hell! They're all over me!

Mandy: Wipe them out... all of them!

**Fortunately, Grim doesn't have to wipe them out; since Danny, Ahsoka and Dash are all busy fighting amongst themselves for position, Grim is able to retain the lead and pull away a little bit. He's still in the lead on lap 51 when...**

Joy: And there's big trouble in turn 3!

McReynolds: We got teammates crashing! Beavis and Butt-Head!

D.W: The #24 and the #48 are both totaled, caution is out!

Beavis/Butt-Head: THAT SON OF A BITCH!

**On lap 51, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet and Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet make contact and lose control in turn 3. Both cars crash hard in the outside retaining wall and are incapable of continuing this race. Beavis and Butt-Head both get out of their cars and bicker some before being led away.**

** Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford, running 1 lap down in 33****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Everyone else then takes to the pits, getting four tires and fuel. Everything goes smoothly; the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Grim (#33)**

**2. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**5. Edd (#29)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#42)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**9. Ed (#27)**

**10. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**The race is restarted on lap 56.**

**Grim and Danny Phantom both pull away from the field; Danny then starts to challenge Grim for the lead. He tries all of the "conventional" methods, but they get him nowhere, so, on lap 62;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

...

McReynolds: The Phantom just went ghost again!

D.W: There he goes – right through the #33!

Joy: Danny Phantom is in the lead!

Tucker: You're clear of the #33, and you're in the lead!

Danny: Heh heh!

**Danny Phantom ghosts his car again, driving right through Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet and taking the lead.**

** Spongebob SquarePants falls out of the top 10 on lap 70.**

** Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash passes Grim for 2****nd**** place on lap 74. Ahsoka Tano follows suit for 3****rd**** place on lap 79. Gradually, they proceed to catch up to the leader, Danny Phantom...**

** By lap 80, it turns into a three-way battle for the lead. Ahsoka Tano manages to pass Rainbow Dash for 2****nd**** place on lap 84; she then sets her sights on Danny Phantom. He holds her off well, however, so on lap 91, she puts her hand up and moves it in a way that to us, would make no sense...**

D.W: What just happened to the #16?

McReynolds: He just fell off the pace for a second for some reason, Darrell!

Joy: And now Ahsoka Tano is in the lead!

Danny: It just slowed down by itself – I don't know what the hell happened?

Anakin: What was that?

Ahsoka: Hey, he has ghost powers – you gotta fight fire with fire!

Anakin: Hmmm...

**On lap 91, Ahsoka Tano accesses the Force; she uses her levitation abilities to make the Force push against Danny Phantom's car for a quick second (otherwise known as Force Push); just enough for Ahsoka to slip by and take the lead. As a result, Rainbow Dash moves up to 2****nd****; Danny Phantom is now back in 3****rd****.**

** On lap 98, Grim falls out of the top 5.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 105, Ahsoka Tano is still leading when this happens;**

Joy: Car hard in the wall! Turn 1!

McReynolds: Twilight Sparkle is in the wall head-on in turn 1, caution is out.

D.W: Looked like she may have had help from the #1 of Nigel Uno...

Twilight: That bald-headed British boy can't drive worth a damn! (pounds hoof on steering wheel repeatedly)

**On lap 105, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet clips the right-rear of Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota; this causes Twilight's car to spin to the right and slam hard into the wall, totaling the car. With a frustrated demeanor Twilight exits her car and is sent to the infield care center as the wreckage is being cleaned up.**

** Applejacks #18 M&M's Toyota, running 1 lap down in 27****th**** gets the free pass.**

** And once again, the other cars go into the pits for four tires and fuel. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**4. Edd (#29)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Grim (#33)**

**7. Ed (#27)**

**8. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**On lap 110;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 110, let's Crank It Up!

...

**On lap 117, Spongebob SquarePants falls out of the top 10.**

** By lap 125, Edd has managed to move past both Danny Phantom and Rainbow Dash for 2****nd**** place. On lap 132, Eddy follows suit, moving up to 3****rd****.**

** On lap 135, Ed moves into the top 5.**

** By lap 139, both Edd and Eddy are right on Ahsoka Tano's tail, making it a three-way battle for the lead. On lap 144, Edd makes his move;**

Joy: For the lead... and he has it! Edd's got it!

Jimmy: Yay, you're in the lead!

Edd: 10-4!

**On lap 148, Eddy makes it past Ahsoka Tano for 2****nd**** place; on lap 153, he catches up to his friend and teammate, Edd, and starts to challenge for the lead.**

** Edd is still leading on lap 159 when...**

Joy: Smoke on the backstretch!

McReynolds: The #1 of Nigel Uno has lost an engine; caution is out!

Nigel: We're blown up; it's over.

Rachel: (sigh) 10-4.

**On lap 159, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet blows its engine. As the caution comes out, Nigel coasts onto pit road and into the garage area, subsequently retiring from the race.**

** Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** All the other cars get four tires and fuel once more; this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Eddy (#31)**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**4. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**5. Ed (#27)**

**6. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**9. Grim (#33)**

**10. Kim Possible (#51)**

**The restart occurs on lap 165.**

** By lap 173, Ed makes it up to 3****rd****; Richard Childress Racing is now running 1-2-3. Ed, on lap 178, passes Eddy for 2****nd****. Then, on lap 184, he makes his move on Edd;**

Joy: For the lead, here comes the #27... and he has it!

Jonny: Plank says you're in the lead, Ed!

Ed: I am? Alright! Yes!

**Meanwhile, on lap 188, Ahsoka Tano gets past Eddy, and then passes Edd on lap 193 for 2****nd**** place. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, makes it up to 3****rd**** on lap 196. Dash then passes Ahsoka for 2****nd**** on lap 200, she quickly catches up to Ed on lap 205. Ed, however, is still leading on lap 210 when;**

Joy: Uh ,there's smoke in turns 3 & 4-

D.W: Now Aang's lost his engine!

McReynolds: And we have a caution!

Aang: Oh for God's sake! NOW, of all times? UGH!

**On lap 210, Aang's #35 1-800LoanMart Ford blows its engine. Aang's car coasts on pit road and into the garage, and he is forced to withdraw from the event.**

** Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Yet again, the surviving cars take four tires and fuel in the pits. Once pits stops are complete, the top 10 at the restart will be;**

**1. Ed (#27)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**4. Eddy (#31)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**6. Kim Possible (#51)**

**7. Grim (#33)**

**8. Edd (#29)**

**9. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**On lap 215;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 215, let's Crank It Up!

...

**On lap 223;**

Joy: Rainbow Dash makes the move to Ed's inside... and she's in the lead!

Rainbow Dash: YES! We're on our way now!

Fluttershy: Yay.

**On lap 230, Grim gets back into the top 5.**

** Ahsoka Tano, meanwhile, makes it back up to 2****nd**** on lap 235. By lap 242, she's caught up to Rainbow Dash, resulting in yet another battle for the lead. However, Rainbow Dash manages to hold her off for several laps, causing Ahsoka to lose her patience. And on lap 249, she ends up doing this;**

Joy: The #20 car just slowed down abruptly for a second there, and now Ahsoka Tano has the lead!

D.W: It looked as if the #20 might've been pushed back a bit somehow.

Rainbow Dash: It just slowed down by itself! I don't get it!

Anakin: (facepalm)

**On lap 249, Ahsoka Tano uses Force Push on Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, slowing it down for just a second, just enough for Ahsoka to slip by and take the lead.**

** On lap 253, Daria Morgendorffer passes Rainbow Dash for 2****nd**** place.**

** On lap 254;**

Joy: Car in the wall!

McReynolds: Caution is out – Master Shake just got put in the wall!

D.W: Yeah, that was his own teammate who just took him out.

Shake: Frylock, you dick!

**On lap 254, Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy Toyota clips Master Shake's #55 Aaron' Toyota, sending him into the inside retaining wall on the backstretch and leaving the car unable to continue.**

** Hank Venture's #13 GEICO Ford, running 1 lap down in 22****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** The others all get four tires and fuel – this then will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Grim (#33)**

**5. Ed (#27)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**9. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**The restart is done on lap 260.**

** On lap 266;**

Joy: For the lead, it's Daria Morgendorffer!

Jane: You're clear of the #42.

Daria: (scoff)

**Gradually Daria Morgendorffer starts to pull away from the field... but both Ahsoka Tano and Rainbow Dash keep up with her. Then on lap 273, this happens;**

Joy: Three-wide in turn 3 for the lead!

McReynolds: Daria's shuffled back to 3rd, who's gonna get the lead...

D.W: AHSOKA!

**Meanwhile, on lap 280, Grim makes it up to 3****rd**** place.**

** Kenny McCormick makes it into the top 5 on lap 285.**

** On lap 290;**

Joy: Trouble turn 1!

McReynolds: Timmy Turner's in the wall, caution is out.

D.W: Looked like he cut a tire.

Timmy: I wish that hadn't happened!

Wanda: Uh, that would be cheating, Timmy.

Timmy: (facepalm)

**On lap 290, Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford cuts the left-rear tire, making the car turn and slam in the wall in turn 1, rendering the car inoperable. Timmy, on the other hand, gets out unharmed.**

** Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** And it is here that all the remaining cars make their last pit stops of the race. Everyone gets four tires and fuel, everything goes without a hitch, and the top 10 at the restart will be;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Grim (#33)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**5. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Ed (#27)**

**9. Kim Possible (#51)**

**10. Sokka (#38)**

**The restart happens on lap 294; 40 laps to go!**

** Kenny McCormick falls out of the top 5 on lap 300.**

** Sokka falls out of the top 10 on lap 310.**

** Rainbow Dash takes the lead from Ahsoka Tano on lap 316. Ahsoka then takes it right back on lap 321, then it's Dash on lap 325, then it's Ahsoka on lap 331.**

** The white flag flies on lap 334, signifying the final lap. Rainbow Dash is right on Ahsoka Tano's bumper going onto the backstretch. Then, going through turn 4, she makes her move;**

Joy: Side by side to the line, checkered flag...

All: DASH!

Joy: Rainbow Dash wins the NRA 500!

Rainbow Dash: YES! We beat that no-good Jedi, WOO!

Fluttershy: Yay.

**Rainbow Dash wins the NRA 500, while Ahsoka Tano settles for 2****nd****. Grim gets 3****rd****, Kenny McCormick claims 4****th****, Daria Morgendorffer finishes 5****th****, Edd places 6****th****, Eddy takes 7****th****, Ed comes in 8****th****, Sokka gets 9****th****, and William Murderface rounds out the top 10.**

** Rainbow Dash then does her burnout before the fans, then cheers in Victory Lane with her team.**

**...**

** NRA 500 race results;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Grim (#33)**

**4. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Ed (#27)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**11. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**12. Kim Possible (#51)**

**13. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**14. Stan Smith (#7)**

**15. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**16. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**17. Meatwad (#56)**

**18. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**19. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**20. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**21. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**22. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (1 lap down)**

**23. Eric Cartman (1 lap down)**

**24. Applejack (1 lap down)**

**25. Frylock (#15) (1 lap down)**

**26. Bender (#22) (1 lap down)**

**27. Katara (#34) (2 laps down)**

**28. Jake Long [R] (#30) (2 laps down)**

**29. Gumball Watterson (#87) (2 laps down)**

**30. Hank Venture [R] (2 laps down)**

**31. The Warden (#32) (2 laps down)**

**32. Foxxy Love (#98) (3 laps down)**

**33. Ben Tennyson (#10) (3 laps down)**

**34. Early Cuyler (#21) (4 laps down)**

**35. Hank Hill (#95) (4 laps down)**

**36. Francine Smith (#36) (5 laps down)**

**37. Timmy Turner (#17) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Aang (#35) (DNF; engine)**

**40. Nigel Uno (#1) (DNF; engine)**

**41. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Butt-Head (#48) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Beavis (#24) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 7 of 36 races;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/Edd (#29)/Ed (#27)/Homer Simpson (#83); 167 points**

**5. Phineas Flynn (#43); 166 points**

**6. Kenny McCormick (#39)/ Eddy (#31)/ Abigail Lincoln (#5); 165 points**

**9. Stan Smith (#7)/ Peter Griffin (#93)/ Ferb Fletcher (#9); 164 points**

**12. William Murderface (#47); 163 points**

**13. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)/Danny Phantom (#16); 162 points**

**15. Kim Possible (#51)/Meatwad (#56)/Bender (#22); 160 points**

**18. Dudley Puppy (#99)/Eric Cartman (#14); 159 points**

**20. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Frylock (#15); 157 points**

**22. Rainbow Dash (#20)/Sokka (#38); 156 points**

**24. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 153 points**

**25. Applejack (#18)/Aang (#35)/Nigel Uno (#1)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 152 points**

**29. Francine Smith (#36)/Timmy Turner (#17)/Beavis (#24); 151 points**

**32. Early Cuyler (#21)/Master Shake (#55)/Butt-Head (#48); 150 points**

**35. Ben Tennyson (#10); 149 points**

**36. Grim (#33); 147 points**

**37. Hank Hill (#95); 146 points**

**38. Katara (#34); 141 points**

**39. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Gumball Watterson (#87)/Hank Venture [R] (#13)/The Warden (#32)/Foxxy Love (#98); 140 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 79 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 76 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#14); 66 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 65 points**

** Next race; STP 400 at Kansas Speedway.**


	16. Potentially Procreative

Now before we get to the STP 400, I have this side story;

This one is set at Shawnee Mission Park in Shawnee, Kansas, not far from Kansas City. It is currently the Saturday evening before the STP 400. Here, we will find Danny Phantom, the driver of the #16 3M Ford for Roush-Fenway Racing, along with his girlfriend and crew chief, Sam Manson. The two are currently in swimwear, holding hands as they walk towards the beach that's on the lake. All the while, they're chatting about NASCAR business;

"Man, those point standings are a jumbled up mess!" says Sam. "You can never keep track of who's where."

"I know, right?" replies Danny. Everyone keeps going from top to bottom and back again. And right now, there are so many two, three and four-way ties, it's ridiculous! I think there are only 27 points separating first and last place."

"Not to mention the fact that we're 13th in points," Sam adds, "and yet only 5 points out of the lead!"

"Yeah, you'd think it'd be easy to get that points lead, if it weren't for all the crap that happens," Danny shrugs. "But we're only seven races in, so no big deal for now."

"Well, whatever happens," reassures Sam, "I just know that you'll come out a winner this year!" She gives Danny a hearty pat on his bare back. Danny says to her, "I love how you always believe in me!" Sam chuckles as the couple continue walking.

...

"Well, we're here," says Sam as they arrive on the beach. She and Danny take a moment to observe the scenery; the clear, calm water of the lake, the white, sandy beach (that has no other people on it right now), the clear almost-night sky...

"Beautiful, ain't it?" says Danny. As her form of a response, Sam gives Danny a brief kiss on the cheek, making his smile bigger. They stare at each other for a moment, then Danny goes back to looking out to the lake. Sam, seizing her chance, starts to slip off her bikini...

"Oh, Danny!" she croons seductively. Danny turns to look at his girl and almost jumps when he sees her standing there, totally naked. "Uh, w-w-what are you doing?" he stammers.

"Oh c'mon," Sam teases. "It's a beautiful evening, and no one else is here. "She very serenely moves up to Danny, and before he can say another word about it, she takes a hold of his swim trunks and slides them down, getting him totally naked.

Danny just stands there, totally still, as if petrified. Sam, sensing his nervousness, puts her arms around him and caresses his back. The sensation of her body pressed up against his combined with that of her hands on his back is more than enough to put him at ease. He closes his eyes as he loses himself in the moment. Sam, noticing this, responds by easing her own eyes towards his closed lids and butterfly kissing them, opening and closing her eyes rapidly to make her lashes brush Danny's closed lids, inciting a little giggle from him.

Now that Danny has her attention, Sam gives him a brief kiss on the lips and says, "C'mon, let's go swimming. Just you and me."

"I'd like that." Danny whispers. Sam whispers back into Danny's ear, "Race ya," before taking off running into the water.

"Hey, get back here!" Danny laughs. He chases Sam into the water, feeling the splashing that Sam leaves behind, but by the time the water gets around chest-deep, he catches up to her.

From there, the two swim out a ways, to where the water is way over the head in depth. Then Danny, with a mean smile on his face, swipes the water with his hand, sending it splashing right on Sam. Sam lets out a hearty laugh before splashing Danny right back. And so, for now, the two keep at this, swimming around, chasing each other, splashing each other and laughing all the way...

Then, at one point, Danny playfully dunks Sam down underneath the water, but then Sam drags him down with her. Once down a ways underneath the surface, Sam pulls Danny in for an embrace, making him once again lose himself for a moment...

...but just as soon as that happens, he's shocked by a sudden, tight sensation enveloping his big, hard member. He looks at Sam for an instant, but Sam then plants her mouth up against his own as she starts to ride in a grinding motion on his organ, moaning as this gives her vast increases in her carnal pleasure.

Before long, the two have to surface for air. But even as they do, Sam continues to make love to Danny; this time, she adds some kisses to his neck and his shoulders, all the while continuing to ride him. Danny, still with his eyes closed, simply takes it all – in essence, he is submitting to his girl, wanting her to give more and more to him.

"Ah, ah, AHH!" In time, the two both feel surges of ecstasy as they share a simultaneous climax. Sam only takes a few second to relax; after that, she drags Danny back down underwater and starts to kiss him again, this time with her tongue. Instead of probing his mouth real rapidly as typical, this time, she very serenely and slowly moves her tongue across every part of Danny's mouth.

All the while, Sam keeps on riding Danny just as she has been, grinding to stimulate her g-spot and make the moment that much sweeter, moaning louder and louder with each hip motion. While she's at that, she manages to sneak one of her hands onto one of Danny's bare butt, and gropes at it for a bit. She then squeezes it a little. Danny giggles a little bit and puts his own hand on Sam's butt, groping and squeezing it in much the same manner.

And sometime after that, they drift up to the surface for air again. As they catch breaths, Sam keeps riding Danny until, "Ah, ah, AAHHH!" They both share another simultaneous orgasm. After staring into Danny's eyes for a moment, Sam gives him a cute Eskimo kiss, rubbing her nose on his and making him giggle again. Then, she takes him back down for another round.

They keep going at it like this; Sam rides Danny underwater, doing all the work while Danny just lies back and enjoys it...

...

After several more rounds, they relax at the water's surface, their arms still around each other, their intimate parts still interlocked. Sam then leans over to Danny's ear to say something. Danny expects to hear "I love you," but instead, he hears these words in his ear from Sam's mouth; "I want a baby."

Danny's heart practically skips a beat for a second; that's how shocked he is to hear this revelation. But then, after a moment, it comes to him; going to the beach at night, with no one else around, which led to the skinny-dipping, which led to the sex, in which Sam herself did all the work... "Is that what this was all about?" he asks.

Suddenly, the smile is wiped off of Sam's face as she realizes what she has done with the boy he loves. They were only in their mid-teens, and here Sam took her life-partner and had sex with him, unprotected, with the intent of having a baby... without even talking to him about it beforehand! Not to mention the potential reactions that would be released from both of their parents!

Sam feels so guilty that her eyes start to well up and her breathing starts to get shaky. She buries her face into Danny's chest, whimpering, "Oh my God! I've taken advantage of you! Oh, I feel so horrible!" Then the sobbing starts, but before it can really start tearing her up like hellfire, Danny takes her face, cups it and says, "It's okay, Sammy. I really can't blame you for this; I've always known that you've loved me more than either of us can ever explain, and I feel the same way about you."

As Sam regains her emotional composure, Danny continues, "And listen; I know that this is way too soon to be starting a family, but if it does happen – if you do become pregnant... I won't leave you like those other teen dads. I couldn't afford to not stick with you through something like that. I love you too much."

With this, the smile gets back on Sam's face. He gives Danny a brief kiss on the forehead, then they share another moment starting into each other's eyes... unsure of what'll happen to them and whether or not they'll be "adding to what they have," but confident that they'll find a way through it.

With the hour having grown late, the two lovers both swim back to shore. Danny finds his trunks and Sam finds her bikini bottom, and they put those back on. Then, before putting her bikini top back on, Sam walks right up to Danny, takes his hand, presses it firmly up against her stomach and says, "Now are you absolutely sure that you'll stay with me through this if it does happen? You know as well as I do how it would change our lives!"

And Danny says, "Positive. I love you, Sam!"

That was all Sam needed to hear. She wraps Danny in a big hug, says "I love you too, Danny," and gives him a long hard kiss on the lips. He moans into it. They then look at each other for one more second, and then, with no more business at this location, Sam puts her bikini top back on, and she and her soulmate leave the lake to head back to their hotel room, to rest up for the STP 400...


	17. STP 400

** For the 8****th**** race of the season, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will be travelling not too far away from Texas, up to Kansas Speedway in Kansas City, Kansas. This track is a 1.5 mile D-shaped oval. The turns are banked at 17-20 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 10.4-11 degrees, and the backstretch is banked at 5 degrees.**

** This race will be known as the STP 400. It will be run over 267 laps, adding up to 400.5 miles. The weather is clear, bright and sunny with no chance of rain!**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Butt-Head (#48)**

**3. Master Shake (#55)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Beavis (#24)**

**6. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**11. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**12. The Warden (#32)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**15. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**16. Aang (#35)**

**17. Francine Smith (#36)**

**18. Grim (#33)**

**19. Katara (#34)**

**20. Hank Hill (#95)**

**21. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**22. Sokka (#38)**

**23. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**24. Frylock (#15)**

**25. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**26. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**27. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**28. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**29. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**30. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**31. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**32. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**33. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**34. Eddy (#31)**

**35. Edd (#29)**

**36. Ed (#27)**

**37. Meatwad (#56)**

**38. Bender (#22)**

**39. Kim Possible (#51)**

**40. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**41. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**42. William Murderface (#47)**

**43. Stan Smith (#7)**

**Tuning to FOX;**

Joy: 27. That's how many points are separating first and last places in the standings. Just 27 points! And we've already completed seven races in this season! This will be our eighth race this season – this one will be in the heartland, at Kansas Speedway, where these animated warriors will duke it out in the running of the STP 400! Welcome to the race, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip. Guys, now that the point standings are this close, what do you think's gonna happen?

McReynolds: Anything and everything, Mike. And if you noticed, yet again, the drivers in the bottom half of the standings are starting in the top half of the field. Plus, something else I should point out – the points leaders have usually crashed out of it on the next race… which is at least somewhat like what happened in 2002, remember?

D.W: That is very true, Larry. To tell you the truth, I REALLY do not know, how much closer these point standings are gonna get! Then again, if we do keep following that trend that we've been on…

Joy: Maybe. Now let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshalls, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Turtles: Ladies and gentletoons, it's racin' time! Start your engines!

**The 43 cars start their engines, warm them up, and then roll out of pit road behind the pace car.**

Joy: Now let's see how they'll be lining up this time; on the pole this week is Timmy Turner; in 2nd is the dimwitted Butt-Head. The fast-food drink known as Master Shake will roll out in 3rd, and in 4th is Britain's very own Nigel Uno. Butt-Head's even more dimwitted teammate Beavis will be in 5th, and the pony Twilight Sparkle is starting 6th. In 7th spot will be the Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan, and in 8th will be the alien boy, Ben Tennyson. Applejack, another pony, is 9th, and the squid Early Cuyler will be rounding out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid on your screen, D.W. will be on the radio;

D.W: Hey Rainbow Dash, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I got you, D.W.

D.W: Alright, so first of all, how do you feel about beating none other than Ahsoka Tano for the win last week?

Rainbow Dash: Man, I still can't believe I actually beat that Jedi scum! I really thought she was gonna levitate my car or slash my tires or maybe even try one of those dumb Jedi Mind Tricks or something. But, yeah, in the end, I beat her, and I feel like I cut her ovaries out, which is simply awesome!

D.W: Uh, OK. Well, how do you feel about today, even though you're starting outside of the top 20?

Rainbow Dash: Gee, I really don't know. The car's been fairly mediocre… I guess we're still trying to figure out these new Generation-6 cars… oh well. We'll do what we can, I guess.

D.W: Hmmm, well good luck with that, Dash.

Rainbow Dash: 10-4, thanks, D.W.

…

**Upon completion of the pace laps, the pace car pulls down onto the pits. Sortly after that, the green flag is waved, turning the cars loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Timmy Turner gets a huge jump into the lead. Meanwhile, on lap 4, Nigel Uno makes his way into the 2****nd**** position.**

** Hoagie P. Gilligan makes it into the top 5 on lap 10.**

** By lap 15, Nigel Uno has caught up to Timmy Turner, starting up a challenge for the lead.**

** On lap 19…**

Timmy: Cosmo! I wish the #1 car would not take the lead from me!

Cosmo: You wish the #1 car would take the lead from you? Well, OK…

Timmy: No, I said-

…

Joy: For the lead, Nigel Uno has it!

Rachel: 1st place, you got the lead!

Nigel: Well alright, then.

Timmy: I said I wish he would NOT take the lead!

Wanda: Were you even listening, Cosmo?

Cosmo: Uhhh…

Timmy: Oh, forget it.

**On lap 19, Timmy Turner makes a wish to keep Nigel Uno behind him, but Cosmo, his crew chief, mishears him and ends up giving the lead to Nigel Uno.**

** Timmy Turner tries to keep up, but Nigel pulls away gradually. In time, Timmy is caught by Hoagie P. Gilligan, losing 2****nd**** place to him on lap 26.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 32, Ben Tennyson finds his way into the top 5.**

** Hoagie Gilligan then manages to catch his friend Nigel Uno on lap 39. For several laps he tries to take the lead away, but Nigel holds him off, and in time, he starts to pull away again.**

Nigel: Whew, that was getting too close!

Hoagie: Aw man, there he goes!

Tommy: It's still early, we'll get 'im.

**Meanwhile, Nigel Uno is still leading on lap 45 when…**

Joy: And there's trouble in turn 2!

McReynolds: That's Daria Morgendorffer, one of our points leaders! She's hard in the wall, caution is out!

D.W: Yeah, she cut the right-rear tire and that's what spun her.

Daria: (sigh) Yeah, it was our tire. It blew out, and we've wrecked.

Quinn: We still have lots of races to go, sis! You'll win one soon!

Daria: (sarcastic) Right.

**On lap 45, Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet blows it's right-rear tire, causing her car to spin out and go hard into the wall butt-first, where it is then ricocheted back around, hitting the wall with the front end and damaging it as well, eliminating her from the race.**

** Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 32****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** Everyone then goes into the pits for four tires and fuel. After pit stops;**

Joy: Oh no; Francine Smith has the fuel tank stuck in her car! She'll have to go back into the pits to get it out.

Francine: What? Ugh, those gasmen aren't worth shit!

Steve: It's okay, Mom, Just bring her in and we'll take care of it. We'll get back in this one, I promise.

Francine: (sigh) 10-4.

**Francine Smith leaves her pit stall with the fuel tank still stuck in her car – she'll have to go back into the pits to get it removed. Meanwhile, here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**5. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**6. Master Shake (#55)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Butt-Head (#48)**

**9. Aang (#35)**

**10. Beavis (#24)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 51. Aang falls right out of the top 10 before the lap is over.**

** On lap 55, Timmy Turner gets back up to the 2****nd**** spot. He's caught back up with Nigel Uno on lap 61, trying to take back the lead. Nigel, however, holds him off… until lap 68;**

Timmy: Alright, Cosmo and Wanda – I wish I could pass the #1 car for the lead.

Wanda: You got it, sport!

…

McReynolds: Whoa, Nigel just slipped up a bit, now Timmy Turner's in the lead!

Nigel: I… don't know what just happened.

Timmy: Oh yeah! Back in the lead!

**But then, on lap 75;**

Joy: For the lead, here comes Nigel Uno…

D.W: He's got it back!

Timmy: Uh! Dammit, Cosmo!

Cosmo: Uh, well you didn't say anything about staying in the lead.

Wanda: That is true… although you did hold it for seven laps.

Timmy: Damn!

**Meanwhile, on lap 79, Twilight Sparkle fights her way up into the 3****rd**** spot. Then on lap 86, she zooms by Timmy Turner for 2****nd****.**

Timmy: God I hate those freakin' ponies!

**From there, Twilight Sparkle starts to catch up to Nigel Uno… getting right on his tail by lap 93. Nigel Uno, however, manages to hold the lead until lap 96, when this happens;**

McReynolds: And there's trouble, big trouble in turn 4!

Joy: All of the Richard Childress cars, Ed, Edd and Eddy all in the same crash on lap 96, caution is out.

Nazz: Oh, are you okay, Double D?

Edd: I think so. I just can't comprehend what transcended just now.

…

**A multi-car crash occurs on lap 96, involving Ed's #27 Menard's Chevrolet, Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet, and Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet. Needless to say, they're all okay, but neither of their cars is able to continue.**

** Sokka's #38 Love's Travel Center, running 1 lap down in 28****th**** gets the free pass.**

** And the rest of the cars go into the pits for four tires and fuel. This time, however, nothing goes wrong. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**4. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**5. Beavis (#24)**

**6. Butt-Head (#48)**

**7. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**8. Applejack (#18)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**On lap 102;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 102, let's Crank it Up!

…

**On lap 109;**

D.W: For the lead… the pony has it!

Spike: You're in the lead, Twilight!

Twilight: Heh heh!

**Meanwhile, on lap 115, Applejack falls out of the top 10.**

** As for Nigel Uno, he manages to stay on Twilight Sparkle's tail – Twilight, however, refuses to give up the lead. Next thing they know, on lap 121, Timmy Turner has caught up to them both, making it a three-way battle for the lead.**

** Nigel Uno makes it back up into the lead on lap 126. Then, on lap 132, Timmy Turner makes it into 2****nd**** place. He gets right on Nigel Uno's tail on lap 139. But Nigel holds him off…**

** Meanwhile, on lap 145, Twilight Sparkle falls out of the top 5.**

** On lap 150;**

Joy: And there's smoke on the racetrack-

McReynolds: Both Beavis and Butt-Head have blown their engines at the same time! Caution is out!

D.W: Holy cow, how did that happen?

Beavis: What the fuck!

Butt-Head: Dammit! Now? Really?

**On lap 150, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet and Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet both blow their engines simultaneously. Beavis and Butt-Head both coast onto pit road and into the garage area, withdrawing from the race.**

** Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars get tires and fuel in the pits; the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**3. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Aang (#35)**

**9. Grim (#33)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**The restart occurs on lap 157.**

** Early Cuyler makes it into the top 5 on lap 163.**

** By around lap 170, Nigel Uno has pulled away from the rest of the field… except for Timmy Turner. He's stayed right up on Nigel Uno's tail this whole time. Then, on lap 175;**

D.W: Timmy Turner's in the lead!

Wanda: You're in front, sport!

Rachel: It's okay, Nigel. We'll still get 'im.

**On lap 182, Jake Long falls back out of the top 10. Aang then follows suit on lap 188.**

** Then, on lap 193;**

Joy: Trouble in turn 1!

D.W: Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher have crashed – the King is not going to like this.

McReynolds: Caution is out.

Phineas: Man, I hope Ferb's not too pissed.

**On lap 193, Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford and Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford make contact in turn 1, causing them both to lose control and crash into the turn 1 retaining wall. Neither car can go on. Phineas and Ferb both get out, talk it over, and make peace as their wrecked cars are towed away.**

** Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Once again, the other cars get their service in the pits. This then, will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**6. Grim (#33)**

**7. Master Shake (#55)**

**8. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**On lap 200;**

Joy: RESTART, with 67 laps to go, let's Crank It Up!

…

**On lap 207;**

McReynolds: Ben Tennyson's in the lead!

Kevin: Clear – you're leading!

Ben: Yes, I'm gonna win this for sure!

Gwen: Uh, we still have 60 laps to go!

Ben: (shrug)

**Nigel Uno then gets back up to 2****nd**** place on lap 212. He gradually catches up to Ben Tennyson – Ben, however, is not paying attention to his rearview, and on lap 216;**

D.W: Nigel Uno's back in the lead!

Joy: With authority!

Ben: Where the hell did he come from?

Kevin: Were you paying attention to your rearview? I tried to warn you he was coming!

Ben: Oh, forget it.

**On lap 222;**

Joy: Car in the wall on the backstretch!

McReynolds: Kenny McCormick's gone into the inside retaining wall, caution is out!

D.W: Hey, uh, do you think..?

**On lap 222, Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet breaks the rear suspension while going down the backstretch, causing the car to spin and careen right into the inside retaining wall without warning. Emergency crews immediately scramble to the wrecked racecar; it turned out that Kenny McCormick's HANS device malfunctioned, so he ended up suffering a basilar skull fracture in the crash. And so his body, which is not showing any signs of life, is extracted by emergency crews.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**Meanwhile, Eric Cartman's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 22****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** And so, the surviving cars go into the pits for their last pit stops of the race. Everyone takes four tires and fuel. After the pit stops, this happens;**

Joy: Rainbow Dash; TOO FAST EXITING PIT ROAD!

Rainbow Dash: Oh, for the love of God! That is bullcrap!

Fluttershy: Just do the drive-thru and we'll see what we can do from there.

Rainbow Dash: UGH!

**This meanwhile will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**3. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**4. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**5. Applejack (#18)**

**6. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**7. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**8. The Warden (#32)**

**9. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**10. Master Shake (#55)**

**The race is restarted promptly on lap 227 – 40 laps to go.**

** Nigel Uno pulls away rather quickly… with Timmy Turner keeping up. Meanwhile, Applejack falls out of the top 5 on lap 233; Twilight Sparkle follows suit on lap 242.**

** At around this time, the battle for the win is intensifying. Timmy Turner manages to slip into the lead on lap 247, but then Nigel Uno takes it right back on lap 251, then it's Timmy on lap 255, then Nigel on lap 263.**

** Nigel Uno is still in the lead on lap 267 when the white flag flies. Through turns 1, 2 & 3, he manages to hold off Timmy Turner. Then, while going through turn 4;**

Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! I wish Nigel would blow his engine!

Cosmo/Wanda: You got it!

…

All: OH!

D.W: Nigel Uno's blown up! He's not gonna make it!

Nigel: (pounds fist) Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!

Joy: Checkered flag is out, and Timmy Turner wins the STP 400!

Timmy: YES! I love you guys!

Wanda: You did good, sport.

Cosmo: Uh… I'm just gonna go with what she said. Great job, Timmy!

**Upon Timmy Turner's wish, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet blows its engine. Timmy Turner easily gets by him on the home stretch to win the STP 400, while Nigel coasts his broken machine across the line for a 2****nd**** place finish.**

** Meanwhile, Hoagie P. Gilligan comes in 3****rd****, Master Shake is 4****th****, Ben Tennyson takes 5****th****, Twilight Sparkle places 6****th****, Applejack finishes 7****th****, Early Cuyler claims 8****th****, Grim gets 9****th****, and the rookie Hank Venture rounds out the top 10.**

…

** Timmy Turner then does his burnout in front of the fans, and then celebrates in Victory Lane with his fairy godparents Cosmo and Wanda, along with the rest of his race team. Then, FOX Reporter moves in for an interview, but is stopped by this…**

Tootie: YAY, TIMMY!

**Tootie, the homely girl who's been crushing on Timmy, ecstatically rushes up to Timmy from the crowd and attempts to lock lips with him in a victory kiss. But Timmy manages to hold her back;**

Timmy: Whoa, easy, Tootie! We're just friends, remember?

Tootie: (blushes) Oh… right, sorry. (opens arms) Well, can I at least give you a hug?

**With a shrug, Timmy allows Tootie to wrap her arms around him, returning her embrace. The two sigh into it. Then, as they pull apart;**

Tootie: (under her breath) I'll win you over yet, Timmy!

Timmy: What?

Tootie: Nothing!

**STP 400 race results;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**6. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Grim (#33)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**11. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**12. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**13. Aang (#35)**

**14. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**15. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**16. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**17. Francine Smith (#36)**

**18. Frylock (#15)**

**19. Sokka (#38)**

**20. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**21. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**22. Hank Hill (#95)**

**23. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (1 lap down)**

**24. Peter Griffin (#93) (1 lap down)**

**25. Dudley Puppy (#99) (1 lap down)**

**26. Danny Phantom (#16) (1 lap down)**

**27. Homer Simpson (#83) (1 lap down)**

**28. Bender (#22) (2 laps down)**

**29. Katara (#34) (2 laps down)**

**30. Meatwad (#56) (2 laps down)**

**31. Stan Smith (#7) (3 laps down)**

**32. William Murderface (#47) (3 laps down)**

**33. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (4 laps down)**

**34. Kim Possible (5 laps down)**

**35. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Butt-Head (#48) (DNF; engine)**

**39. Beavis (#24) (DNF; engine)**

**40. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 8 of 36 races;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17); 198 points**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1); 196 points**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 194 points**

**4. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 191 points**

**5. Master Shake (#55); 190 points**

**6. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Applejack (#18); 189 points**

**8. Eric Cartman (#14); 187 points**

**9. Early Cuyler (#21)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)/Abigail Lincoln (#5); 186 points**

**12. Peter Griffin (#93)/Homer Simpson (#83); 184 points**

**14. Aang (#35)/Frylock (#15); 183 points**

**16. Grim (#33); 182 points**

**17. Sokka (#38); 181 points**

**18. Danny Phantom (#16); 180 points**

**19. Rainbow Dash (#20); 179 points**

**20. Francine Smith (#36)/Dudley Puppy (#99); 178 points**

**22. Stan Smith (#7); 177 points**

**23. Bender (#22); 176 points**

**24. William Murderface (#47); 175 points**

**25. The Warden (#32)/Meatwad (#56)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 174 points**

**28. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Phineas Flynn (#43); 173 points**

**30. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Ferb Fletcher (#9); 172 points**

**32. Foxxy Love (#98)/Kim Possible (#51)/Edd (#29); 170 points**

**35. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Eddy (#31)/Ed (#27); 169 points**

**38. Hank Hill (#95)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 168 points**

**40. Katara (#34)/Butt-Head (#48)/Beavis (#24); 156 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 87 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 83 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 76 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 74 points**

**Next race; Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond International Raceway.**


	18. Toyota Owners 400

**Tonight, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will reach 25% complete after the running of this race, which will be held at Richmond International Raceway. This track, located in Richmond, Virginia, is a ¾-mile long D-shaped oval. The turns are banked at 14 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 8 degrees, and the backstretch is banked at 2 degrees.**

** This race shall be known as the Toyota Owners 400. It will be run over 400 laps, equaling a total distance of 300 miles. This will be a night race – it is a clear night with no clouds and no chance of rain.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Beavis (#24)**

**2. Butt-Head (#48)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Katara (#34)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**6. Ed (#27)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**9. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**11. Meatwad (#56)**

**12. Kim Possible (#51)**

**13. William Murderface (#47)**

**14. Bender (#22)**

**15. Hank Hill (#95)**

**16. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**17. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**18. Stan Smith (#7)**

**19. Francine Smith (#36)**

**20. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**21. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**22. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**23. The Warden (#32)**

**24. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**25. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**26. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**27. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**28. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**29. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**30. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**31. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**32. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**33. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**34. Frylock (#15)**

**35. Master Shake (#55)**

**36. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**37. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**38. Applejack (#18)**

**39. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**40. Aang (#35)**

**41. Grim (#33)**

**42. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**43. Sokka (#38)**

**FOX?**

Joy: We're about one-fourth of the way through the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, and we now have another short track battle for all you race fans! Richmond International Raceway is definitely one of the more exciting tracks on the NASCAR circuit; the laps go by quickly, there's more than plenty of room to pass, and with this new Gen-6 car, who knows what will happen tonight as the Cartoon Cup Series goes under the lights for the running of the Toyota Owners 400! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip, thanks for having us in for the race.

D.W: Now first of all, I think I should bring up an incident that happened here last season – you may recall that during that race, a fan actually jumped out of the stands and onto the #20 of Rainbow Dash, then got shot at by Early Cuyler, then tried to hug Rainbow Dash, he got kicked in the balls, and was then apprehended. Craziest thing I've ever seen, and I'm not sure how anything in this race is gonna top that!

McReynolds: Hmmm, well a lot of the drivers have been using their crazy superpowers a lot more often than they have been in the last season; it seems like these characters are starting to become more and more aggressive overall, and this is a short track. Short tracks equal short tempers.

Joy: Indeed they do, Larry Lac. Now let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, a legendary character from the silent film era, Felix the Cat!

Felix: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The cars fire up their engines, warm them up, and then roll out for the pace laps.**

Joy: The dim-witted duo of Beavis and Butt-Head are both starting 1st and 2nd. Eddy rolls out in 3rd, and the water-bender Katara will start 4th. Then in 5th is Ferb Fletcher, and Ed is 6th. The rookie Daria Morgendorffer is up in 7th and in 8th is Phineas Flynn, in the legendary #43 car. Then in 9th, it's the sea sponge Spongebob SquarePants, and Edd will round out the top 10. As you look through the rest of the field, D.W. will be on the radio;

D.W: Katara, it's D.W. from the FOX sports booth, you got a copy?

Katara: Yeah.

D.W: Wow. All of these races with mediocre performances and now you're starting 4th, even though you're tied for last in the points with Beavis and Butt-Head. How do you feel about that, going into this race?

Katara: Well, I have kind of liked how the point standings are staying real close this time around – bottom-feeders like us have a shot this time. Still, I really did not expect to do this well in qualifying, and I'm really looking forward to making it count.

D.W: Well some have said that you have a so-called "water-bending" power where you can manipulate liquid substances with your mind. Can we expect to see some of that tonight?

Katara: Uhhh… probably. I may try not to, but if someone gets in my way and I become impatient, it may happen. You'll just have to wait and see.

D.W: Alright, well thanks for speaking with us, and good luck.

Katara: 10-4, thanks.

…

**The pace car retreats onto pit road when the pace laps are completed. Then, the green flag turns loose the field of 43 cars.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Beavis and Butt-Head both get the jump on the rest of the field. They remain side-by-side, exchanging the advantage constantly.**

** On lap 9, Katara passes Eddy for 3****rd**** place. From there, she starts to catch up with Beavis and Butt-Head.**

** And on lap 17, it becomes a three-way battle for the lead. Beavis finally manages to get fully ahead of Butt-Head on lap 22; Katara then moves past Butt-Head for the 2****nd**** position on lap 29. By lap 33, she's right on Beavis's bumper. Then, on lap 34;**

Joy: For the lead, Katara moves to the inside… and she has it!

Mai: Clear – you're in the lead, Katara.

Beavis: That fucking bitch! Someone oughta force themselves on her for that!

**Meanwhile, on lap 40, Ferb Fletcher moves up into 3****rd**** place. As Katara continues to pull slightly more ahead of Beavis and Butt-Head, they get caught by Ferb Fletcher on lap 48. Ferb passes them both for 2****nd**** place on lap 55.**

Vanessa: You're in 2nd – just one car to go, Ferb!

Ferb: …

**It takes a few laps, but by lap 64, Ferb Fletcher has gotten up to Katara's rear bumper. Katara is still leading on lap 71 when…**

Joy: Car in the wall, turn 1!

McReynolds: Caution is out for the #17 of Timmy Turner, he's hard in the wall.

D.W: Looked like he cut a left-rear tire somehow.

Timmy: UGH! The left-rear tire went down, and now we're out of it! Just like that! I win last week's race, and then this happens! DAMMIT!

Wanda: I'm sorry, sport. I know you'll win some more races before this season's over.

**On lap 71, Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford cuts a tire going into turn 1, sending the car spinning and going head-on into the outside retaining wall. The car is too damaged to continue, however Timmy gets out of the wrecked machine unhurt.**

** The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford, running 1 lap down in 29****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Then, the other cars go into the pits, and they each take four tires and fuel. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Katara (#34)**

**2. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**3. Butt-Head (#48)**

**4. Beavis (#24)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**7. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Meatwad (#56)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 77.**

** Phineas Flynn falls out of the top 10 on lap 83.**

** On lap 89;**

Vanessa: Inside, inside… clear! You're in the lead, Ferb!

Ferb: 10-4.

**Meanwhile, on lap 95, Bender makes his way up into the top 5.**

** Eddy makes his way into the 3****rd**** position on lap 100. On lap 106, he sneaks by Katara for 2****nd**** place. Then on lap 111, he catches up to Ferb Fletcher. Ferb, however, manages to hold him off.**

** On lap 118, Meatwad falls out of the top 10.**

** At around lap 124, Katara catches up with Eddy, leading to a really heated battle for 2****nd**** place. This allows Ferb Fletcher to gain some ground on them…**

Eddy: That bitch! Because of her, the #9 car is getting away!

Rolf: Take it easy, shorter-than-Yoda Ed-boy. It's still a long road ahead.

**But sure enough, on lap 130, Katara passes Eddy for 2****nd**** place. She then catches Ferb Fletcher on lap 135.**

** On lap 140;**

Mai: Clear! You're back in the lead!

Katara: Alright!

**On lap 145;**

Joy: Big trouble in turn 4! The #1 has crashed! Caution is out!

McReynolds: Nigel Uno was clipped in the fender by the #20 car of Rainbow Dash, he loses control, and he went right into the pit wall.

D.W: Man, I bet you he's really steamed right about now.

Nigel: I hate those damn ponies. I really do.

Rachel: Don't worry about that. At least you're okay.

Nigel: (sigh)

**On lap 145, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet gets clipped in the left-rear by Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota. His car is knocked off-course, heading right into the end of the pit wall, and destroying the front end of the car. The cockpit, however, remains unharmed, and Nigel vacates his car also unharmed.**

** Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** All of the other cars take to the pits for more tires and fuel. After that is done, the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Katara (#34)**

**2. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Beavis (#24)**

**5. Bender (#22)**

**6. Butt-Head (#48)**

**7. Edd (#29)**

**8. Ed (#27)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**On lap 150;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 150, let's Crank it Up!

...

**Beavis falls out of the top 5 on lap 156.**

** Eddy meanwhile makes his way up to the 2****nd**** position on lap 163. As hard as Katara tries to hold him off, on lap 171;**

Kevin: You're in the lead, dork!

Eddy: And we're winning this one, heh heh!

**On lap 180, Eddy's teammate Edd makes it into the top 5. Ed, their other teammate, follows suit on lap 185.**

** By lap 195, Edd and Ed have both made it up to 2****nd**** and 3****rd****, respectively.**

** Then, on lap 204, Edd and Ed both catch up to Eddy, ensuing a three-way battle for the lead between teammates. Eddy holds them off until lap 210, when this happens;**

Joy: We've got a blown engine on the racetrack!

McReynolds: The #2 of Hoagie Gilligan has blown up, and the caution is out.

Wally: Man, whoever was in charge of that cruddy engine oughta have their arse kicked!

Hoagie: (sigh) Nothing we can do about it now.

**On lap 210, Hoagie P. Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Ford blows its engine. Hoagie reluctantly limps his broken racecar onto pit road and into the garage, being forced to retire from the race.**

** Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 22****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** Everyone else goes into the pits for four tires and fuel. After the pit stops the top 10 is;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Edd (#29)**

**3. Ed (#27)**

**4. Katara (#34)**

**5. Bender (#22)**

**6. Butt-Head (#48)**

**7. Beavis (#24)**

**8. William Murderface (#47)**

**9. Meatwad (#56)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**The race is restarted on lap 215.**

** Meatwad finds his way into the top 5 on lap 224.**

** On lap 230;**

Nazz: You're in the lead, Double D!

Edd: I am? ... I am!

**Meanwhile, Butt-Head gets back in the top 5 on lap 236.**

** Then, on lap 243;**

Rarity: Twilight, what's going on? Talk to me!

Twilight: Uh, for some reason, I don't think we have any oil pressure.

Rarity: What? Oh, for the love of God! (sigh) Bring her in, we may be finished.

Twilight: 10-4.

**On lap 243, Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota suddenly loses all of its oil pressure, effectively disabling the car. Twilight takes her car into the garage to be checked out – they find that the car is damaged beyond repair, so they're forced to retire from the race.**

** In the meantime, Bender, on lap 248, makes it into 3****rd**** place. He's up to 2****nd**** on lap 256, and has caught up to Edd on lap 263. Then, on lap 271;**

D.W: Here comes Bender, he does a slingshot move on Edd down the backstretch, and he's got the lead!

Bender: Ha ha, no one's gonna stop us now!

Edd: Wow, robots really can drive!

Nazz: We'll still get 'em, Double-D.

**Katara gets back in the top 5 on lap 279.**

** Meanwhile, a heated battle for 19****th**** is going on; Master Shake has the position, while Ahsoka Tano is trying to take it away. Master Shake manages to hold her off, however, and by lap 284, Ahsoka has lost her patience. Going through turn 2, she raises a hand and concentrates really hard on Shake's car…**

Joy: Trouble in turn 2!

McReynolds: Master Shake with a hard hit, caution is out!

D.W: And he made no contact with anyone either… unless…

Shake: FUCK YOU, YOU JEDI SHITBAG!

Anakin: That was uncalled for, Ahsoka!

Ahsoka: How else was I gonna pass that dirtbag?

Anakin: I, uh, I don't know.

**On lap 284 Ahsoka Tano uses her Force powers on Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota, causing his car to spin to the right and go head-on into the outside retaining wall with such force that it totally destroys the front end of the car. Fortunately for Shake, he remains unhurt, and exits his car without a scratch.**

** Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** Once again, everyone else gets fresh sets of four tires in the pits, along with full tanks of fuel. This then will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Bender (#22)**

**2. Edd (#29)**

**3. Ed (#27)**

**4. Eddy (#31)**

**5. Katara (#34)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**8. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**9. Beavis (#24)**

**10. Butt-Head (#48)**

**On lap 290;**

Joy: RESTART, with 110 laps to go, let's Crank it Up!

…

**Ed falls out of the top 5 on lap 300.**

** Then Eddy makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 306, catches up to Bender on lap 311, and on lap 319;**

Kevin: You're back in the lead, dork!

**On lap 321;**

Pinkie: Applejack, what's happening?

Applejack: We have no oil pressure, dammit!

Pinkie: Ugh! Fine, bring her in.

Applejack: 10-4… crap.

**On lap 321, Applejack's #18 M&M's Toyota loses its oil pressure, knocking the car out of commission. The damage is too severe, so Applejack goes into the garage area and withdraws from the event.**

** On lap 330;**

Joy: And a caution is out for debris on the backstretch.

McReynolds: That looks like a piece of a suspension or something.

D.W: And we're hearing that it came from the #10 of Ben Tennyson.

Ben: The suspension just broke – I think we're done for!

Gwen: (sigh) Dammit! We are done for.

**On lap 330, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet breaks the rear suspension. A piece of it is left on the track; causing the caution to come out. As for Ben, he heads into the garage area; the race is over for him.**

** Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** And so it is here that all of the surviving cars make their last pit stops of the race. Everyone gets four tires and fuel. After that is all taken care of, the top 10 at the restart will be;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Bender (#22)**

**3. Katara (#34)**

**4. Edd (#29)**

**5. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**6. Butt-Head (#48)**

**7. Ed (#27)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Beavis (#24)**

**The restart is initiated on lap 335.**

** Eddy immediately starts to pull away from the field, gaining major ground on them within a short period of time.**

** Katara, meanwhile, moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 347.**

** Butt-Head gets back up in the top 5 on lap 355; Beavis follows suit on lap 362.**

** On around lap 370, Katara catches up with Eddy, and immediately starts trying to get past him to take the lead and maybe get her first win. But Eddy holds her back…**

…

** When the white flag flies on lap 400, Katara is still behind Eddy. He holds her off through the first two turns. This proves to be the end of Katara's patience. As they go through the last few turns, she starts waving her hand around outside the window…**

All: OH!

McReynolds: Eddy's car's spewing fluids all over the racetrack!

Eddy: What the hell's happening!

Joy: Checkered flag is out, there goes Katara, she wins the Toyota Owner's 400!

Katara: YES! Finally, my first win! WOO!

Zuko: Heh heh, nice driving, Katara.

Mai: It was pretty cool, yes.

**Katara uses her waterbending powers on Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet, causing all of its fluids to erupt out from the car. Katara slips by Eddy's ailing racecar to win the Toyota Owners 400. Butt-Head and Beavis finish in 2****nd**** and 3****rd****, respectively, while Eddy settles for 4****th****. Daria Morgendorffer takes 5****th****, Edd comes in 6****th****, Ferb Fletcher gets 7****th****, William Murderface is 8****th****, Meatwad places 9****th**** and Ed rounds out the top 10.**

** Katara does her burnout in front of the Richmond fans, then pulls into Victory Lane, and then celebrates in front of everyone. FOX's Matt Yocum then moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Katara, after such a lackluster performance last season, how does it feel to finally have your first win?

Katara: Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever win a race in this series! Probably would never have won it if the #31 didn't blow up like it did. Let's just say it's fluids may have been bent, heh heh! Anyway, I gotta thank Maximum Human Performance and Front Row Motorsports for being able to drive with 'em, and, well, I'm really grateful to have finally gotten a win for 'em!

Yocum: Great job with that, Katara.

Katara: Thanks.

**Just then, Aang, Katara's teammate and boyfriend, pops up beside her, and they have their victory kiss.**

** Toyota Owners 400 race results;**

**1. Katara (#34)**

**2. Butt-Head (#48)**

**3. Beavis (#24)**

**4. Eddy (#31)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**8. William Murderface (#47)**

**9. Meatwad (#56)**

**10. Ed (#27)**

**11. Bender (#22)**

**12. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**13. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**14. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**15. Stan Smith (#7)**

**16. Hank Hill (#95)**

**17. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**18. Kim Possible (#51)**

**19. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**20. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**21. Gumball Watterson (#87) (1 lap down)**

**22. Foxxy Love (#98) (1 lap down)**

**23. The Warden (#32) (1 lap down)**

**24. Homer Simpson (#83) (1 lap down)**

**25. Peter Griffin (#93) (1 lap down)**

**26. Francine Smith (#36) (1 lap down)**

**27. Danny Phantom (#16) (1 lap down)**

**28. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (1 lap down)**

**29. Dudley Puppy (#99) (2 laps down)**

**30. Rainbow Dash (#20) (2 laps down)**

**31. Eric Cartman (#14) (2 laps down)**

**32. Frylock (#15) (2 laps down)**

**33. Sokka (#38) (3 laps down)**

**34. Grim (#33) (3 laps down)**

**35. Aang (#35) (4 laps down)**

**36. Early Cuyler (#21) (5 laps down)**

**37. Ben Tennyson (#10) (DNF; suspension)**

**38. Applejack (#18) (DNF; oil pressure)**

**39. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (DNF; oil pressure)**

**41. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (DNF; engine)**

**42. Nigel Uno (#1) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Timmy Turner (#17) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 9 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 216 points**

**2. Eddy (#31); 212 points**

**3. William Murderface (#47); 211 points**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Bender (#22); 210 points**

**6. Edd (#29)/Meatwad (#56); 209 points**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) 207 points**

**9. Stan Smith (#7); 206 points**

**10. Phineas Flynn (#43); 205 points**

**11. Homer Simpson (#83); 204 points**

**12. Katara (#34)/Ed (#27)/Peter Griffin (#93); 203 points**

**15. Abigail Lincoln (#5); 202 points**

**16. Kenny McCormick (#39); 201 points**

**17. Eric Cartman (#14); 200 points**

**18. Butt-Head (#48)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Hank Hill (#98)/Timmy Turner (#17); 199 points**

**22. Beavis (#24)/Nigel Uno (#1); 198 points**

**24. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Danny Phantom (#16)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 197 points**

**28. Kim Possible (#51)/Francine Smith (#36)/Ben Tennyson (#10); 196 points**

**31. The Warden (#32)/Frylock (#15)/Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Master Shake (#55)/Applejack (#18); 195 points**

**36. Early Cuyler (#21); 194 points**

**37. Dudley Puppy (#99)/Rainbow Dash (#20); 193 points**

**39. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Foxxy Love (#98)/Sokka (#38)/Grim (#33)/Aang (#35); 192 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 98 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 96 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 83 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 82 points**

**Next race; Aaron's 499 at Talladega Superspeedway.**


	19. The Tape

This side story takes place just shortly after the Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond International Raceway. We see Nigel Uno, Hoagie Gilligan, Abigail Lincoln, Rachel McKenzie, Wally Beetles and Kuki Sanban all staggering back to their hotel room in downtown Richmond.

Right now, all of them are trying to forget about the tough race that they all had. Nigel got taken out by Rainbow Dash and finished 42nd, and Hoagie blew out his engine and finished 41st. Abigail was the only one of them who finished the race – but even then, she was 1 lap down in 28th place.

"Damn, this race sucked!" says Abigail. "Even for me."

"Man, if only our engine had held out," Hoagie laments. "Maybe then we could've won one for us."

"God, I hate that Rainbow Dash so much!" Nigel growls, still furious over what happened to him in the early going of the race. "I hope Ahsoka slices that sick head of hers off with that lightsaber of hers."

"Yeah!" Wally chimes in. "And then you should keep the head, have it stuffed, and put it in the main room of the treehouse back home!"

"That sounds… harsh!" Kuki interjects.

"Yeah, let's all just try and forget about it, okay?" adds Rachel. "It's been a tough night for all of us, and none of us should dwell on it."

Upon hearing this, Nigel, Hoagie and Wally all hang their heads in shame. Rachel, Abby and Kuki take notice of this and sling their arms around them, putting the smiles back on their faces. The boys return the favor as they continue to walk through Richmond…

…

In time, they've all finally made it back to their hotel room. "Whew, am I glad to be back here!" proclaims Hoagie. "Rachel's right – I just want to forget everything that's happened here tonight!"

"Yeah, me too," replies Wally. His facial expression then turns glum as he says, "Still… I wish there was something that we could do to make this night better than it's been."

Kuki cannot help but feel just a little bit of pity for Wally – it's always gotten to her whenever the boy she loves is in any sort of down mood. So she decides to take initiative to make their night better than it's been; with a warm smile on her face, she reaches out and gives Wally a nice, gentle peck on the lips.

Wally says nothing – he and Kuki simply stare into each other for a moment as the smile returns to Wally's face. Then, their lips lock together again, this time much more "seriously…"

Nigel, Rachel, Hoagie and Abby look fondly at them as they make out with each other. Their tongues are then brought into the equation as they have now become a little bit aroused.

That's when Abby turns to Hoagie, with a smug grin on her face. Hoagie returns her grin, and then their lips become pressed against each other's. They wrap their arms around each other as they become more in the mood, and before long, their tongues are also brought into play…

Rachel then gets an idea. She tells Nigel not to say anything – then she moves over to the table in the corner of the room, takes out her smartphone, activates its video camera mode, mounts the phone so that it's camera gets Kuki, Wally, Abby and Hoagie in the shot, and then hits record, starting the tape.

Nigel can't help but raise an eyebrow as to why Rachel would want to make a sex tape (if they all did end up going that far), but before he can question her, she rushes him and plants a hard kiss in his lips. As he gets into it, Rachel manages to move him to where they get on her camera…

Shortly after Nigel and Rachel "get going," Wally then raises his arms, allowing Kuki to slip his hoodie up and off of his body. She throws it aside, and then she takes a moment to stare at Wally's bare torso. The sight of his toned pecs and abs makes her just somewhat wet on the inside.

After looking at them, she puts both of her hands on Wally's pecs, caressing them, and getting Wally just a little more aroused. Kuki then gives both of Wally's erect nipples a kiss and a lick. "Ohh!" Wally moans. He then moans indistinctly as Kuki kisses Wally on the center of his chest; while continuing to caress his toned pecs, she leaves a line of kisses, going down all the way to his stomach. Once she gets there, she plants a series of kisses and licks on each of Wally's abs. He shudders as what's inside his pants gets a little bit harder. Then, Kuki raises her arms – Wally, knowing what this means, takes hold of her shirt and gently pulls it off of her body. She was never wearing a bra to begin with, so that leaves her completely topless…

Meanwhile, between Hoagie and Abby, Abby is the first to lose her shirt and go topless. Hoagie takes a minute to look at her chest, admiring her natural beauty and becoming a bit hornier himself. Abby then turns her back towards Hoagie – Hoagie gently pulls her up to his chest. As he starts to rub her bare chest, at the same time he pokes his face at Abby's neck – and kisses it. Abby feels like shuddering with pleasure as Hoagie places a series of kisses on her neck and her bare shoulders. At the same time, he rubs her chest with one hand, and her stomach with the other – this is what makes her shudder with pleasure.

Abby then quickly turns to Hoagie, takes hold of her arms and puts them in an upward position, and then lifts his shirt up and off of him. Despite the fact that Hoagie is the chubby one in the team, Abby is not put off by this. Without further hesitation, she throws her hat off, undoes her French braids and lets her hair fall, takes off Hoagie's aviator's hat and flying goggles, and then she and him starting French kissing again, with their arms around each other, their palms caressing each other's bare backs, and with their chests and bellies pressed up against each other's…

As for Nigel and Rachel, they've both already been going at it topless for a while, now. They then both sit down on a bed, with Rachel on Nigel's lap. Nigel starts to kiss Rachel's neck and bare shoulders in a similar manner to what Hoagie did with Abby, and Rachel moans in pleasure similarly to how Abby did. At the same time, Nigel is stroking Rachel's blonde hair with both of his hands; this combined with the kisses on her neck and shoulders, make Rachel practically quiver at the sensations that she feels with being made love to in this sort of way…

In the meantime, Hoagie and Abby have gotten down to their underwear, still making out with their tongues. After some more of that, they grab a hold of each other's underwear and slip them down and off, revealing Hoagie's hardened manhood and Abby's really moist womanhood. Abby then sits down on the dresser; knowing what this indicates, Hoagie kneels down in front of her, sticks his head in between her thighs, kisses them both, looks upon Abby's wet vagina with a smile, and then proceeds to lick her clitoris (aka "Nature's Rubix Cube"). "Oh-oh-ohh, yes. Yes! That's the spot!" Abby moans as her clit becomes more and more engorged. Eventually, Hoagie opens up the flap of skin covering her clitoris, revealing it in all its engorged glory. He doesn't hesitate for a second; he puts his mouth over it and starts to suck – Abby's moaning becomes as loud as his has all night as carnal surges flow through her veins like electricity. Hoagie, meanwhile, works his genitals using his own hands…

At the same time, Nigel and Rachel are lying on the bed, in their underwear, making out like crazy. Then, just like Abby and Hoagie did, they take each other's underwear off and get totally naked. Rachel takes a look at Nigel's fully aroused member and smiles, admiring its great size and strength. She then lies down spread-eagled on the bed, ready for whatever Nigel has in store for her. However, Nigel doesn't "enter" straightaway – rather, he kneels over Rachel, reaches back behind him, feels for her clitoris, and when he reaches it, starts to rub it. Rachel can't help but tremble as the sensation flows through her, as her clit get more and more engorged. At the same time, she notices Nigel's big and hard penis, hovering just above her chest. With a smile, she puts her hands up to it and starts to stroke it.

"Ohh, you're good!" Nigel moans as Rachel keeps stroking his penis.

"You too!" Rachel moans back as Nigel continues to massage her clitoris…

Meanwhile, on the other bed, Kuki and Wally have both gotten totally nude as well. Like everyone else, they too are also as horny as horny can be. That's when they decide to try something they haven't done before – Wally helps to set it up by lying flat on his back on the bed. Kuki then gets up and lies down on top of him… facing the opposite direction. Both of their fully aroused genitals are sticking right in each other's faces, and so they both take a moment to admire each other's intimate parts. Then, they go at it; Wally licks Kuki's clitoris and Kuki licks Wally's cock – both at the same time. Before long, they're both sucking on each other, getting them closer and closer to the breaking point…

…

"AAAHHH!"

The hotel room is almost shaken a bit as everyone screams aloud all at once – everyone in the room has just orgasmed; all at the same time! Hoagie's semen hits the dresser, Nigel's semen hits the wall behind their bed, and Wally's semen enters Kuki's mouth – she swallows it in one gulp.

From here, everyone lies down on the beds (or in Hoagie and Abby's case, the floor), and the girls all cuddle up to their respective boys – after the intensity of all their respective climaxes, they all need a moment to relax before getting to "home plate;" so they decide to do so intimately by snuggling up to the ones they love. Nigel, Hoagie and Wally return the cuddles, smiling upon their girls as they stroke their hair, enjoying the closeness and the intimacy…

…

When Abby feels ready to get back at it, she stands up, gets Hoagie to stand up with her, puts her arms around Hoagie and plants her lips hard on his. As Hoagie gets back in it, she puts her arms back around Abby – this time, as they French kiss, they grope each other's bare buttocks with their palms, getting each other aroused again. Kuki and Wally do the same thing, as do Nigel and Rachel (except that they're lying down on the beds)…

Once the girls feel that they are all ready, they very quickly find their pants, reach into their pockets, and they each pull out a condom. Each one is large size, and they all carry a different flavor – Abby's condom for Hoagie is chocolate-flavored, Kuki's condom for Wally is cherry-flavored and and Rachel's condom for Nigel is lemon-flavored. The girls very carefully open the wrappers, so as to not risk damaging the condoms. Then, they very gingerly put the condoms securely onto their boyfriend's very big members.

When that's done, the girls all get into their respective positions; Rachel lies spread-eagled on her bed, Abby puts her arms around Hoagie (who's standing up) and hoists her legs up and around Hoagie's waists, and Kuki gets Wally into her favorite position – her on top of him;

"Give it to me, Nigel!"

"Take me now, Hoagie!"

"I want all of you, Wally!"

And then it happens; Nigel smoothly gets inside of Rachel, Abby envelops her vagina over Hoagie's penis and Kuki does the same with Wally.

As Nigel thrusts and Abby and Kuki ride, everyone feels pleasures greater than any that they have felt throughout this entire session;

"Rachel, you're so tight!"

"Nigel, you're so hung!"

"Oh, Abby, you're so good at this!"

"And you're so strong and hard, Hoagie!"

"Oh, yes! Oh, Wally! I want more of you! More!"

"Take all of me, Kooks!"

After about a minute of thrusting and riding, everyone starts French-kissing yet again. As they once again amorously probe the insides of each other's mouths, Rachel starts to grope Nigel's butt, Wally gropes Kuki's butt, and Hoagie and Abby both grope each other's butts. This then, takes everyone as far as they possibly can go – with all of these intimate moves being done all at once, all of the respective couples feel as close to each other as they possibly can as their genitals continue to work each other.

For a total of 5 minutes, this keeps up. And then;

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

Once again, everyone climaxes all at the same time. The girls' walls tighten around their boys' large members as they release their respective loads (thankfully, the condoms did their job, and they did not break!). All of the couples then cuddle up with each other again, their arms around each other, their faces touching, their intimate parts still inter-connected. Through this, everyone whispers to their respective lovers how much they love each other, about how they'll always be together and how they never want to be separated, etc.

Rachel then gets up and goes to the table in the corner of the room where she mounted her cameraphone, which is still recording. As soon as she stops the video from recording any more, Wally takes notice and becomes suspicious; "What's your phone doing there, Rachel?"

Abby then takes notice as well, and becomes a little angry; "Do you mean to tell me that you've been videotaping us all doing the business?!"

Blushing out of embarrassment, Rachel stammers, "Uh, y-y-yeah."

Hoagie then turns to Nigel, "Did you know about this?"

Nigel blushes and stammers, "Y-y-yes. But I don't know why."

"Well, why'd you do it?" Kuki says to Rachel.

And Rachel stammers, "Uh, well I, uh, I just want to see what we all looked like."

"Really?" Abby says with her arms folded. "Then I suppose you wouldn't mind letting us all have a look?"

"Uh, s-sure. Why not?" Rachel nervously replies. Everyone gathers around her as she rewinds the video and plays it from the beginning…

…

After they've all seen the tape from beginning to end;

"Wow!" Abby says. "That… wasn't so bad."

"Are you kidding?" Kuki chips in. "We all looked REAL good. And our boys are such amazing lovers!" She puts an arm around Wally, making him blush. The other couples follow suit.

Wally then becomes a bit skeptical at the thought that Rachel was bold enough to record a sex tape of them all. "What are you gonna do next?" he scoffs sarcastically. "Have me, Nigel and Hoagie pose together naked?"

"That wouldn't be a bad idea," Rachel scoffs back. "You'd all look so hot together… especially you, Nigel!"

As Nigel blushes at his girlfriend's remarks, Abby says to the boys, "Come on, do it!"

"Yeah, do it!" replies Kuki.

Hoagie then shakes his head and says, "Fine."

"But only if you do the same for us!" snaps Wally.

"Deal," Rachel chuckles. "But first…"

Rachel, Kuki, and Abby kneel down in front of their boys and quickly massage their members, getting them aroused, so as to get ready for the photoshoot. The boys try to question this move, but they end up not doing so – the sensations from their arousals don't allow it.

When all of them are fully erect, Rachel declares that they're all set. Rather nervously, Nigel, Hoagie and Wally stand side-by-side in a line under the light; the light flatters their bodies real nicely.

"C'mon, be confident!" Rachel goads. Driven by that remark, Nigel, Hoagie and Wally put suggestive smiles on their faces directed at Rachel's cameraphone, they put their arms around each other and they make the thumbs-up and peace signs with their bare hands while flaunting their massive members for the camera.

Rachel snaps a photo of them in this pose, and then Kuki and Abby gather around her to have a look;

"Hee-hee-hee!" Kuki giggles.

"You boys are HOT!" Abby snickers as Rachel shows them the photo.

The boys can't help but blush; they are embarrassed at seeing themselves in a nude photo together, but at the same time, they are pleased that their girlfriends loved it.

"A deal's a deal, girls!" Nigel then says.

Rachel shrugs, then she, Kuki and Abby strike a nude group pose similar to the one that the boys did. Nigel snaps the photo of them this way, then Hoagie and Wally take a look, making several suggestive remarks about their girlfriends, making them all blush.

Rachel then takes her phone back, saying, "Alright, well that was just for fun – no one else will see those candid pics."

As everyone nods in agreement, Rachel says to them all, "Well, this has been an amazing night – I just don't know how else to describe it. The timing was perfect, what with the bad race we all had. I assume you're all over that now?"

Everyone nods, then Rachel continues, "But listen; the series is only about one-quarter finished, so there's still a lot of races left. The point standings are close, and we still have seventeen races left until the Chase – I just know we'll all make it in. But listen; even if we do end up going for the championship, what's most important is that we do not, under any circumstances, let that drive us apart. We're all like a family, and I don't want anything, even the Cartoon Cup, to get in the way of that."

"You know, stuff like that is why I love you so much," Nigel says as she and Rachel share a hug. In response, Abby and Hoagie also hug, as do Kuki and Wally.

And then, with the hour having grown late, Rachel shuts out the lights (but not before Abby and Hoagie set up a spare bed that was stored in the closet), Then, all the couples get into bed together, cuddle up with each other and kiss goodnight…

Rachel, meanwhile, contemplates her true intentions for the sex tape; while the photos would stay between her and Sector V, she didn't plan on the video staying that way. As it turns out, they're not the only couples in their Kids Next Door organization – she knows that there are in fact, many, many couples in the KND. She also knows that many of them, in spite of their incredibly young age, are just as sexual as that are. And being their Supreme Commander, she's felt like having the responsibility to help them out with that, so to speak. So, she decides that the sex tape she just made will be made into a "guide," so to speak, for any other current and future couples in the KND who wanted to have sex. Of course, she's first have to go back up to Moonbase for post-production (narration, on-screen graphics, transistions, etc.), and she'd HAVE to, at some point, get permission from Sector V (especially Nigel), but if all were to go right, for her, and the other KND couples, it would be totally worth it…


	20. Aaron's 499

** It's time for another restrictor-plate showdown! That's right; the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now at one of the most infamous and legendary tracks on the NASCAR circuit, Talladega Superspeedway! Based in Talladega, Alabama, this is the longest track on the NASCAR circuit; 2.66 miles in length. It is a tri-oval; however, the start/finish line is set right after the pit exit, as opposed to most of the other tri-oval tracks, which have their start/finish lines at the center of the tri-oval. Turns 1 and 2 are banked at 33 degrees, turn 3 is banked at 32.4 degrees, turn 4 is banked at 32.5 degrees, the tri-oval is banked at 16.5 degrees and the backstretch is banked at a mere 3 degrees.**

** Furthermore, it should be noted again that with the restrictor plates, the cars' horsepower is cut in half. This consequently also leads to pack racing, in which drafting on and off each other is the driving factor of the race.**

** This race will be known as the Aaron's 499, after the Aaron's department store's "For $99" rental gimmick; the actual length of the race is 500.08 miles. As for the weather, the sky is covered with clouds and there are rain showers scattered around the track, but none of them are predicted to hit the track and the race itself.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Applejack (#18)**

**4. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**5. Frylock (#15)**

**6. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**8. Aang (#35)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**11. Beavis (#24)**

**12. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**13. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**14. Grim (#33)**

**15. Sokka (#38)**

**16. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**17. The Warden (#32)**

**18. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**19. Francine Smith (#36)**

**20. Kim Possible (#51)**

**21. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**22. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**23. Butt-Head (#48)**

**24. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**25. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**26. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**27. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**28. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**29. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**30. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**31. Edd (#29)**

**32. Bender (#22)**

**33. Ed (#27)**

**34. Meatwad (#56)**

**35. Eddy (#31)**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**37. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**38. Hank Hill (#95)**

**39. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**40. Meatwad (#56)**

**41. Stan Smith (#7)**

**42. Katara (#34)**

**43. William Murderface (#47)**

**Now tuning to FOX;**

Joy: Talladega, baby! It is one of the most anticipated race weekends of the entire year. Even more so this time around, because we are going to have cartoon characters drafting with each other at high speed! 43 animated warriors will be duking it out on the restrictor-plated high banks of Talladega Superspeedway in the 10th race of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, the Aaron's 499! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip, thanks for having us in for the race. First off, Larry, how do you expect these characters to handle pack racing?

McReynolds: Who knows, Mike? I mean sure, they do it at least somewhat well some of the time, but then of course, there's all these characters' crazy powers, some of the rivalries that are developing between them, and if you recall, last time we were here, about the entire field got wiped out!

D.W: Yeah, I know we say this every time we come here or go to Daytona, but when it comes to the Big One, it's not a matter of if it happens, it's when. And with all of the powers that some of these characters have, you knows how big it could be!

Joy: Well, we pretty much found that out last time we were here, but I guess we'll see what happens this time, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the Grand Master of the Jedi Order, Yoda!

Yoda: Ladies and gentletoons, your engines, you must start!

**The cars then start their engines; even though they only have about 445 hp this time around, as opposed to their normal 865 hp, they still roar like the dragons they are. After they're all fully warmed up, they are led out onto the track by the pace car;**

Joy: Joe Gibbs Racing has all of the top three starting spots; Rainbow Dash is on the pole, Twilight Sparkle is 2nd, and Applejack is 3rd. Then, it's Dudley Puppy in 4th place. The box of French fries Frylock is 5th, and the alien-boy Ben Tennyson is in 6th. In 7th, it's the Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan, and in 8th is the airbender, Aang. Master Shake will start 9th, and the squid Early Cuyler will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid, D.W. will be one the phone;

D.W: Ahsoka Tano, it's D.W. from the FOX sports booth, you got a copy?

Ahsoka: 10-4, D.W. My Force senses told me you'd be calling.

D.W: Yes, well, I just wanted to ask how it feels to be a rookie leading the point standings.

Ahsoka: I really don't know, Darrell. All I know is that the points leader always seems to crash out in every race; I guess that's a part of why the standings are as close as they are. I know the fact that I'm a rookie puts that much bigger of a bulls-eye on my back – and one I get up to the front, I plan on taking Rainbow Dash out before she gets me!

D.W: Hmmm, well I don't know what else to say, except good luck with that.

Ahsoka: Uh, thanks.

McReynolds: (facepalm)

…

**The pace car then retreats onto pit road; the cars creep forward through the tri-oval, then the green flag turns them loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Drafting together, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack manage to pull a little ways ahead of the rest of the field…**

** …but by lap 5, the pack catches back up with them. Then on lap 9, Applejack uses a slingshot move on both Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash to take the lead;**

Apple Bloom: You're in the lead, sis!

Applejack: Yee-hah!

**On lap 11,** **Ben Tennyson and Hoagie P. Gilligan, with drafting help from Frylock and Master Shake then try to approach Applejack on both sides in order to contend for the lead. But Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash cut them off, defending their teammate.**

Shake: Urrgh! These ponies make me so sick!

Ben: I hope they all end up in the Big One…

**On lap 16, Ahsoka Tano makes it into the top 10.**

** Then, on lap 23, Ben Tennyson does a slingshot move on Rainbow Dash to get past her and the other ponies to take the lead; Master Shake hugs his rear end for draft help.**

Ben: Eat that, ponies!

**On lap 28, Aang falls out of the top 10.**

** Then on lap 31, Dudley Puppy and Hoagie Gilligan move to the outside of Rainbow Dash to try and get by her; this leaves Rainbow Dash without any drafting help; she gets shuffled back until she manages to get back in line in 11****th**** place; right behind Ahsoka Tano. She suddenly becomes angered at the thought of drafting with her adversary, so angry that on lap 32, this happens;**

Joy: And there's trouble on the backstretch!

McReynolds: Our points leader Ahsoka Tano has crashed in the inside retaining wall on the backstretch, and the caution is out.

D.W: Yeah, and it was none other than Rainbow Dash who hit her this time…

Anakin: Don't do anything rash, Ahsoka! Master Yoda is here; he'd never let us hear the end of it!

Ahsoka: (sigh) Yes, Master.

**On lap 32, Rainbow Dash clips Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet while going down the backstretch; Ahsoka's car is sent spinning onto the infield, where it then slams hard into the inside retaining wall, too damaged to continue. Ahsoka feels like exacting revenge, but Anakin sternly tells her not to, so she just gets out of her car and goes to the infield care center as the wreckage is cleared.**

** Meanwhile, the rest of the cars go into the pits for four tires and fuel. This happens after pit stops;**

Joy: Stan Smith, TOO FAST ENTERING pit road!

Stan: What do you mean, "I was too fast?"

Roger: Nothing I can do about it. Just do the drive-thru.

Stan: (growls) Shit!

**Stan Smith is caught speeding on pit road and will have to serve a drive-thru penalty. This then will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Master Shake (#55)**

**4. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**7. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**9. Frylock (#15)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**The race is restarted on lap 35. Applejack, with drafting help from Twilight Sparkle, takes the lead back from Ben Tennyson before the lap is over.**

**Early Cuyler falls out of the top 10 on lap 41.**

**Then on lap 48, Master Shake does a slingshot move on Ben Tennyson; the resulting aeropush propels him into the lead and Ben up into 2****nd****.**

Shake: Woo-yeah! I'm in the lead!

**Danny Phantom then gets up into the top 5 on lap 52. He then ends up getting an aeropush from Dudley Puppy, which sets him up for this;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

…

McReynolds: The #16 car's gone ghost!

D.W: He's going right through all the cars in front of him…

Joy: And Danny Phantom is your new leader!

Sam: Yeah! That's my Danny! (blows kiss)

Danny: (giggles)

**Meanwhile, on lap 57, Twilight Sparkle falls out of the top 5.**

** Hoagie Gilligan then makes it up to 2****nd**** place on lap 62.**

** On lap 67;**

D.W: We got a blown engine on the backstretch.

Joy: The #31 of Eddy has lost its engine, and he's out of the race.

McReynolds: Caution is out.

Eddy: Oh for God's sake, another blown engine?

Rolf: (sigh) That is how fate put it to be, louder-than-my-Nana Ed-boy.

**On lap 67, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet blows its engine. As frustrated as he can be, Eddy coasts down pit road and into the garage area, retiring from the race.**

** The other cars then get four tires and fuel in the pits. After pit stops, the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**3. Frylock (#15)**

**4. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**5. Master Shake (#55)**

**6. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**8. Applejack (#18)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**On lap 70;**

Joy: RESTART, on lap 70, let's Crank it Up!

…

**Hoagie P. Gilligan assumes the lead on lap 76.**

Wally: Ha ha, those other drivers can suck it, mate!

Hoagie: Heh heh!

**Rainbow Dash then gets back in the top 5 on lap 82.**

** Then, on lap 87, Frylock does a slingshot move on Danny Phantom; the resulting aeropush is able to get him past Hoagie Gilligan, putting him up in the lead.**

Carl: Wow, you're actually in the lead, Fry-man!

Frylock: (shrug)

**Rainbow Dash is then put back out of the top 5 on lap 93 by her own teammate, Applejack. Rainbow Dash then gets on Applejack's rear bumper on lap 96, and they draft together – past Dudley Puppy, Danny Phantom, Hoagie Gilligan and Frylock… and into 1****st**** and 2****nd**** place, respectively.**

Applejack: Yee-hah, back in the lead!

**The two teammates then swap positions on lap 99, putting Rainbow Dash in 1****st**** place and Applejack in 2****nd**** place.**

** On lap 102;**

Joy: Wreck in the tri-oval; multiple cars involved!

McReynolds: The #47, #9, #22, #29 and #56 are all wrecked, caution is out!

D.W: Five cars involved – not quite the big one, but still.

Murderface: Fuck, man, I could've won this one! FUCK!

Ferb: (sigh) Someday.

Bender: Assholes! Now were out of the race thanks to them!

Edd: Our car appears to have been… discombobulated.

Meatwad: Fuckin' shitbrains!

**On lap 102, a multi-car crash occurs in the tri-oval, involving William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baked Beans Toyota, Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford, Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford, Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet and Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota. None of these cars are able to continue, but at the same time, none of the drivers are hurt.**

** Everyone else then takes to the pits for four tires and fuel. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Frylock (#15)**

**6. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**7. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. Master Shake (#55)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 105.**

**Nigel Uno makes his way up into the top 5 on lap 110. He then gets help in the form of a very unlikely drafting partner; Early Cuyler. On lap 114, the two draft their way past Danny Phantom, Hoagie Gilligan, Applejack and Rainbow Dash to take the top 2 positions.**

Monty: You're in the lead, Nigel, ol' bean.

Nigel: 10-4, Dad.

Hoagie: What the hell! I should be drafting with Nigel, not that white-trash redneck squid!

Wally: Don't worry about it, mate. Just concentrate and try not to crash!

Hoagie: Yeah, 10-4.

**Early Cuyler then does a slingshot move on Nigel Uno on lap 120, putting himself in the lead and Nigel back in 2****nd****.**

Early: WOOOO! I'm leading at Talladega!

**Daria Morgendorffer then enters the top 10 on lap 123.**

** Using the draft from the cars in front of her, Daria is able to quickly move up the field; by lap 129, she's side-by-side with Early Cuyler. They stay side-by-side for about a lap; Daria is then able to get her front end ahead of Early's, and leads lap 130. But then on the backstretch, Early Cuyler then draws his sawed-off shotgun, cocks it, and aims it right at Daria's right-rear tire…**

All: OH!

McReynolds: Daria Morgendorffer's right-rear tire is down-

Joy: And she goes right into the inside retaining wall, caution is out!

D.W: Early Cuyler did it – he was the one who shot her tires out.

Early: WOOOO! Take that, you rookie bitch!

Daria: (facepalm) Why do they even let drivers carry guns in their cars? Honestly!

**Whilst going down the back straightaway on lap 131, Early Cuyler shoots out the right-rear tire of Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet with his sawed-off shotgun, causing Daria's car to spin into the infield and slam into the inside retaining wall. The car is out of commission, but Daria gets out of the car unhurt and is taken to the infield care center.**

** And then the other cars get four tires and fuel in the pits. This occurs after pit stops;**

Joy: Phineas Flynn, TOO FAST EXITING pit road!

Phineas: Aw, nuts! Do you honestly have any clue as to why me, of all drivers, could've been speeding?!

Isabella: No. No, I don't. But you'll still have to serve the penalty.

Phineas: (sigh) 10-4.

**Phineas Flynn is busted for speeding on pit road exit, and will have to serve a drive-thru penalty. And so here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Applejack (#18)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**7. Grim (#33)**

**8. Aang (#35)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Frylock (#15)**

**On lap 134;**

Joy: RESTART, with 54 laps to go, let's Crank it Up!

…

**Grim makes his way into the top 5 on lap 140. He then picks up Hoagie Gilligan in the draft, and by lap 145, they make it up to 1****st**** and 2****nd**** place.**

** Then, on lap 149, Grim does a slingshot move on Hoagie to take the lead for himself.**

Grim: FINALLY, I'm leading this thing!

Mandy: Just shut up and don't let anyone pass you.

Grim: 10-4!

**Grim is still leading on lap 156 when;**

Joy: Trouble – Stan Smith has crashed!

McReynolds: Yeah, he got clipped by the #16 of Danny Phantom, and that put in the wall.

Stan: DAMMIT! I'm gonna KILL that ghost fag!

**On lap 156, Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet gets tapped in the fender by Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford; Stan's car is sent into the inside retaining wall on the front straightaway and damaged too badly to go further. As the wreckage is cleared, Stan goes to the infield care center, extremely furious with Danny…**

** Meanwhile, the surviving cars all get four tires and fuel on their last pit stops of the race. Everything goes without a hitch, and the following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Grim (#33)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Applejack (#18)**

**6. Master Shake (#55)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**8. Frylock (#15)**

**9. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**10. Aang (#35)**

**And the restart is sanctioned on lap 160.**

** Nigel Uno falls out of the top 5 on lap 164.**

** Hoagie Gilligan then jumps back into the lead on lap 168; Grim falls out of the top 5 on lap 173.**

** Applejack then jumps ahead into the lead on lap 179; Master Shake joins them on lap 184, making it a four-way battle for the win between Shake, Applejack, Hoagie Gilligan and Early Cuyler.**

** The white flag flies on lap 188. The top 4 get side-by-side on the backstretch, and remain this way once they get on the home stretch to the checkered. Then…**

McReynolds: Oh, and a big pile-up behind the leaders!

D.W: They're four-wide to the checkers!

Joy: And it's…

…

All: APPLEJACK!

Joy: Applejack wins the Aaron's 499!

Pinkie Pie: WE DID IT!

Applejack: YES! Finally, my first career win! YEE-HAH!

**Applejack beats Hoagie P. Gilligan, Master Shake and Early Cuyler in a four-wide finish to win the Aaron's 499 – Hoagie is 2****nd****, Shake is 3****rd**** and Early is 4****th****. Twilight Sparkle takes 5****th****, Nigel Uno finishes 6****th****, Grim gets 7****th****, Frylock finishes 8****th****, Aang comes in 9****th****, and Danny Phantom rounds out the top 10.**

** Back behind them, a huge crash occurs back in the tri-oval, taking out Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford, Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota, Katara's #34 Maximum Human Performance Ford, Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet, Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota, Abigail Lincoln's #5 Farmer's Insurance Chevrolet, Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, Eric Cartman's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet, Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet, Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet, Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford and Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford.**

** Applejack cannot do a burnout; the tri-oval is too littered with debris from the big wreck at the end. So she just goes to victory lane and celebrates there, relieved to have finally gotten her first win.**

…

** Meanwhile, Danny Phantom has just parked his car after a 10****th**** place finish, and is getting ready to throw in the towel when…**

Stan: YOU!

**…he is suddenly confronted bby Stan Smith, whom he unintentionally wrecked with 22 laps to go.**

Stan: You wrecked me, you son of a bitch!

Danny: I didn't do it on purpose!

Stan: Yeah right! You're always ghosting your car so no one can block you – how am I supposed to believe that?

Danny: Well, you're one to talk, taking a gun in the car.

Stan: Why, you…!

**Stan Smith suddenly pulls out his 9mm glock pistol and fires a series of shots at Danny Phantom… fortunately, Danny is able to turn intangible and avoid getting shot. Stan very stupidly keeps firing until his gun is empty. As Danny flies away for his life, away from the track premises…**

Stan: CURSE YOU, GHOST FAG!

…

**Aaron's 499 race results;**

**1. Applejack (#18)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**3. Master Shake (#55)**

**4. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**5. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**7. Grim (#33)**

**8. Frylock (#15)**

**9. Aang (#35)**

**10. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**11. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**12. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**13. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**14. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**15. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**16. Beavis (#24)**

**17. Kim Possible (#51)**

**18. Sokka (#38)**

**19. Francine Smith (#36)**

**20. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**21. The Warden (#32)**

**22. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**23. Timmy Turner (#17) (DNF; accident)**

**24. Hank Hill (#95) (DNF; accident)**

**25. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; accident)**

**26. Butt-Head (#48) (DNF; accident)**

**27. Eric Cartman (#14) (DNF; accident)**

**28. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**29. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (DNF; accident)**

**30. Peter Griffin (#93) (DNF; accident)**

**31. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**32. Katara (#34) (DNF; accident)**

**33. Homer Simpson (#83) (DNF; accident)**

**34. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Stan Smith (#7) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Meatwad (#56) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Bender (#22) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (DNF; accident)**

**41. William Murderface (#47) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 10 of 36 races;**

**1. Applejack (#18); 243 points**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)/Grim (#33); 240 points**

**4. Master Shake/Nigel Uno (#1); 237 points**

**6. Early Cuyler (#21); 235 points**

**7. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 234 points**

**8. Frylock (#15)/Danny Phantom (#16); 232 points**

**10. Ben Tennyson (#10); 229 points**

**11. Aang (#35)/Rainbow Dash (#20)/Hank Venture [R] (#13); 227 points**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Beavis (#24); 226 points**

**16. Dudley Puppy (#99); 224 points**

**17. Kim Possible (#51); 223 points**

**18. Francine Smith (#36); 221 points**

**19. Timmy Turner (#17); 220 points**

**20. Hank Hill (#95); 219 points**

**21. Sokka (#38)/The Warden (#32)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 218 points**

**24. Butt-Head (#48)/Eric Cartman (#14)/Kenny McCormick (#39)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Peter Griffin (#93)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 217 points**

**30. Foxxy Love (#98)/Ed (#27)/Meatwad (#56); 216 points**

**33. Katara (#34)/Homer Simpson (#83)/Phineas Flynn (#43)/Stan Smith (#7)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/Edd (#29)/Bender (#22); 215 points**

**40. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/William Murderface (#47)/Eddy (#31); 214 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 113 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 111 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 103 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 100 points**

**Next race; Bojangles' Southern 500 at Darlington Raceway.**


	21. Dodging The Bullet

This side story is set on the Wednesday after the Aaron's 499, in the city of Amity Park (the location of which is unplottable, although it is named after Amityville, New York…), the home of Danny Phantom.

Right now, his parents Jack and Maddie are out ghost-hunting, and his sister Jazz is also out on business. So for now, that leaves Danny home alone, sitting in the living room, deep in thought about the last race; he finished 10th in the Aaron's 499, but after the race, had a very hostile run-in with Stan Smith, in which Stan tried to shoot him. Fortunately, Danny was able to become intangible and keep from getting hit, but the incident is still swimming around in his head;

"It was too close a call," he thinks. "Especially since I can't regenerate – if he'd hit me, I'd probably be out of the racing season, maybe even killed! Oh, man, what if something did happen to me? And what if I did get Sam pregnant? And then, what would happen if Sam was without me, and her baby didn't have its father? What if-"

Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the front door. Glad that at least something is pushing him away from his paranoid thoughts (at least for the moment), Danny eagerly goes up to the door and opens it, only to be greeted by none other than his crew chief and girlfriend, Sam Manson.

"Hiya, Sam!" Danny says with enthusiasm as he greets Sam with a hug and a kiss.

"Hey, Danny," Sam replies. "So, uh, how've you been holding up since that asshole Stan Smith tried to kill you?

"OK, I guess," Danny shrugs. "Still, I have been thinking – I could've died! What would happen to you if something happened to me? What if I did get you pregnant and our baby ended up fatherless?"

"Well, actually, that's what I came to tell you," replies Sam as she and Danny sit down on the couch. Then, as she puts a hand on Danny's shoulder, she says, "I took a pregnancy test before I came here, and-"

"Oh, God!" Danny says out of nervousness. "You're pregnant, aren't you? That's it, isn't it?"

"Uh, actually," says Sam, "the test came back negative."

Despite having realized that they have just dodged the bullet, Danny is still really nervous; "Wow… I, uh… I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed."

"Both, I guess," Sam replies. "I mean, rushing into a relationship is one thing, but rushing into parenthood – that's something else."

"That's true!" exclaims Danny. "Now that you mention it, I am sort of relieved that we dodged the bullet that time."

Sam then looks into Danny's eyes with deep passion and says, "Don't get me wrong; I still want a child with you, Danny – someday."

After thinking it through for a second, Danny replies, "Now that you mention it, I have been thinking; if the ghost powers are in my DNA, they may also be in my sperm, which means we could have a ghost child, which I think may actually be pretty cool! Hey, we should get some of my sperm and see if they do have my ghost powers. C'mon, let's do it!"

"Not now, Danny," Sam winks. She then undoes her ponytail and takes off her shirt, revealing her breasts. As Danny stares at them, Sam scoots up to Danny, moves his arms into a vertical position, and slips his shirt off.

Almost without thinking, Danny pulls Sam up against his body and kisses her on the lips, leading to a makeout session. The two have their arms around each other, rubbing each other's backs with their palms, and are chest-to-chest and belly-to-belly as they lock lips…

Then, once Sam feels that the ice is broken, she turns around, sits on Danny's lap and puts her back up against his chest. She then takes a gentle hold of Danny's right hand and guides it up to her bare torso, starting with her chest. She allows him to fondle her breast, which makes her moan out of sheer passion. The sound of the moaning motivates Danny, and he gives her a few kisses on her neck and on both of her bare shoulders, inciting slight giggles from her.

Sam then guides Danny's hand down to her bare belly and has him clutch it, reminding him of the baby that she someday wants to have with him. After a few seconds of hesitation, Danny then brings up his left hand and clutches Sam's belly with both hands, all the while continuing to cover Sam's neck and shoulder with kisses…

Sam's moaning becomes more ecstatic than it has been thus far. Aside from the pleasure that she's manifesting from the moment that she is having with her boyfriend, her overall desire continues to grow – that is, her desire to be closer and closer to the boy she loves with all her heart, coupled by the belief that the family she someday plans to start with him will cement that.

And for Danny, as he kisses Sam's neck and shoulders and clutches her belly, he starts thinking again; this time, however, his thoughts are about if and when he and Sam did have a baby. As he imagines a ghost-child growing within Sam, he thinks about the prospects of the two of them raising a child together, including the potential fulfillment of it all…

That's when Sam starts to feel little drops of water hitting her shoulders, accompanied by the sound of light sobbing. As Danny's hands clutch Sam's belly harder than before, Sam realizes just how emotional Danny has suddenly gotten.

"Hey, Danny, what's the matter?" Sam asks.

"Who am I kidding?" Danny cries. "I didn't want to admit it… but I REALLY want a baby with you, Sam – AND I want to marry you!" He starts crying harder.

"Aww, sweetie, it's okay." Sam wraps Danny in her arms; Danny then wraps his own arms around Sam as he continues to sob. "Shhh," Sam whispers into Danny's ear. As he continues to let his emotions out, Sam rubs his back with both hands and gives him a tender kiss on the cheek, hoping to comfort him. Danny continues to cry through this, but gradually, the sensation of being in Sam's warm, loving embrace, coupled with her soft vocal reassurances, helps to soften and lighten up the sobbing…

When Danny eventually does stop crying, Sam pulls out a tissue from her pocket and says, "Here, baby, let me dry those tears." She puts one arm back around Danny, hoping to help keep his emotions under control. Then, she wipes Danny's left cheek dry with the tissue; when all the tears are gone, she kisses his cheek.

She does the same with the right cheek, then she holds the tissue up to Danny's nose and says, "Blow." Reluctantly, Danny blows several times into the tissue, expelling all of the mucus buildup from his nose. Then, after Sam drops the tissue onto the floor, Danny looks longingly into her eyes for a second; he doesn't cry, but he does fall into Sam's arms once more.

"It's okay, Danny. I got you," Sam says softly. She holds him in his arms, rubbing his back, giving him the occasional kiss on the cheek, and even going as far as to gently rock him back and forth while softly humming to him. As for Danny, his emotions are kept under control – while he does kind of feel like crying again, he is nonetheless relieved to be in Sam's embrace, her arms holding her tight with their bare chests up against each other's.

Then, still with her arms around him, Sam looks into Danny's eyes and says, "Listen, Danny; I love you with all my heart, but we can't take that risk again! We're only in our mid-teens! Plus, we still have lots of NASCAR racing left in us; I really enjoy being with you for the NASCAR races, Danny, and I don't want that to stop – not now. Someday, when you and I are in our early or mid-twenties, I will marry you." Sam then breaks the embrace and clutches her own bare belly with her hands. Trying not to cry, she adds, "And we WILL have a baby!"

This puts the smile back on Danny's face. Without saying anything, he places his head down on Sam's belly, nuzzling it repeatedly as if their future baby was already in there. After she giggles a little bit, he then plants a multitude of kisses on her belly, making her laugh harder. Her laughter then becomes almost hysterical when Danny starts blowing raspberries on it…

Once Danny lets up and Sam's laughter subsides, Danny, with a big smile on his face, spreads his arms wide open. Sam opens up her own arms, and the two embrace each other once more.

"I love you, Sam Manson!" Danny says, kissing Sam on the cheek.

"I love you too, Danny Phantom!" Sam replies as she kisses Danny on the cheek right back.

The two then release simultaneous sighs of contentment as they stay in their embrace, all the while thinking about all that their future together might bring, including being husband and wife, father and mother – and maybe even NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series champions…


	22. Bojangles' Southern 500

** It is Mother's Day weekend, and the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now at the notorious Lady in Black, the Track Too Tough to Tame, Darlington Raceway! Based in Darlington, South Carolina, this track is a 1.366 mile long egg-shaped oval – turns 1 & 2 are wider and of a higher radius than turns 3 & 4. Turns 1 & 2 are banked at 25 degrees, turns 3 & 4 are banked at 23 degrees, and the front and back straightaways are banked at 3 degrees. Additionally, the track has only one real groove through the turns – the outside, which often results in cars scraping the wall going out of turn 2, earning their "Darlington Stripe."**

** This race is the 11****th**** points race on the NASCAR schedule. It will be known as the Bojangles' Southern 500; it will actually be 501.322 miles long, all run over 367 laps. Furthermore, this will be a Saturday night race, run under a totally clear night sky with no chance of rain!**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. William Murderface (#47)**

**4. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**5. Edd (#29)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Ed (#27)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**11. Katara (#34)**

**12. Meatwad (#56)**

**13. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**14. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**15. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**16. Butt-Head (#48)**

**17. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**18. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**19. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**20. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**21. The Warden (#32)**

**22. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**23. Sokka (#38)**

**24. Beavis (#24)**

**25. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**26. Frylock (#55)**

**27. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**28. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**29. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**30. Master Shake (#55)**

**31. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**32. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**33. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**34. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**35. Applejack (#18)**

**36. Hank Hill (#95)**

**37. Francine Smith (#36)**

**38. Kim Possible (#51)**

**39. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**40. Aang (#35)**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**42. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**43. Grim (#33)**

**FOX?**

Joy: Happy Mother's Day weekend, and welcome to one of NASCAR's most treasured and treacherous racetracks, Darlington Raceway. It was NASCAR's first big speedway, first ran on in 1950, and of course, is most notorious for its unique egg-shaped configuration, as well as the infamous "Darlington stripe." Tonight, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series takes over the track for what will likely be one of THE most insane bits of animated mayhem, the Bojangles' Southern 500! I'm Mike Joy, alongside Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip, thanks for having us in for the race.

McReynolds: First off, Mike, you mentioned the Darlington Stripe; I honestly don't think that we're going to be seeing quite as much of that as we have in the past. These new Gen-6 cars have much better downforce, which gives them at least somewhat better grip, so I don't expect to see very many Darlington Stripes this time around. Then again, with how these cartoons drive, don't expect this race to be too clean.

D.W: Just what I was thinking, Larry! All of these characters' wacky powers combined with the treachery of this racetrack will make for some wild racing. Also, even though Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano haven't really gone at it these last few races, after the last race, there was a hostile run-in between Danny Phantom and Stan Smith. I won't go into details, but I think we have a new rivalry blossoming.

Joy: Well, all of that and more will be revealed here tonight, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, quite possibly one of the very first adult animated sitcom characters, from Hanna-Barbera's Wait Till your Father Gets Home, Harry Boyle!

Boyle: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**And so the field of 43 cars start their 865 hp engines, inciting an applause from the crowd as shimmers of automotive power are pulsating through them. After warming up, the racecars are lead out by the pace car.**

Joy: The self-professed scam-master Eddy is on pole tonight, and in 2nd is defending Cartoon Cup Series champion Homer Simpson. The death metal bassist William Murderface is 3rd, and the legendary #43 car of Phineas Flynn is 4th. Edd is 5th, and the rookie Daria Morgendorffer is 6th. Starting 7th is Phineas Flynn's stepbrother Ferb Fletcher, and starting 8th is the robot Bender. Ed will roll out in 9th, and Stan Smith will round out the top 10…

D.W: Stan Smith, it's D.W. in the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Stan: 10-4.

D.W: Well, I have to ask what happened between you and Danny Phantom – it seemed like things got a little heated between the two of you.

Stan: Are you kiddin'? He went ghost on me at Dover last year and cost me the win then, and he wrecked me last week and cost me the win again! That filthy ghost-boy doesn't need to be driving in NASCAR – I swear, if he wasn't intangible, he'd be burning in hell right now, where he belongs!

D.W: Uh, OK. Well how do you plan on taming The Track Too Tough to Tame?

Stan: Well, it should be easier to avoid the Darlington Stripe this time around, since the Gen-6 car has much better downforce and some better grip. In fact, me and Roger have even been talking about trying to get good on the lower groove; we can avoid the wall better AND pass people while we're at it, heh heh! I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know we can win this thing!

D.W: Well good luck with that, and thanks for speaking with us.

Stan: 10-4, D.W.

**Upon completion of the pace laps, the pace car pulls off onto pit road; the cars creep forward a little bit more, and then they are turned loose via the waving of the green flag.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**William Murderface falls out of the top 5 on lap 4. Meanwhile, Eddy jumps out to a sizeable lead…**

** Phineas Flynn then makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 11. From there, he starts the process of catching up to Eddy; he is right on his tail by lap 16;**

Isabella: Go get 'em, Phineas!

Phineas: 10-4, Izzy.

Kevin: The #43's right behind you, watch out, dork!

**And so Eddy starts trying like hell to hold Phineas off and stay in the lead. Phineas, on a few occasions, takes the inside line going into the turns, but Eddy manages to get good enough runs off of the high side to stay ahead of the #43 car. However, Phineas manages to come off closer and closer each time, and then, on lap 22;**

Candace: Inside, inside… you're clear! You're leading!

Phineas: Awesome!

Rolf: (sigh) That nuisance with the rhombus-shaped cranium is going to be a real thorn in our sphincters!

**Eddy then starts to fall back; on lap 28, he loses 2****nd**** place to Homer Simpson.**

** Daria Morgendorffer falls out of the top 10 on lap 33.**

** By lap 40, Homer Simpson has caught up to Phineas Flynn, and is challenging him for the lead. Phineas does put up a fight, using all possible grooves on the track to try and keep Homer behind him. But on lap 47, Homer gets by him and takes the lead.**

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Bart: Hmph!

Homer: What the hell was that for?

Bart: I just don't care! You haven't been paying attention to me, why the hell should I pay attention to you?!

Homer: …

**After that, Eddy catches back up to Phineas Flynn on lap 53. He briefly regains 2****nd**** on lap 57, but Phineas takes it back one lap later. Then, on lap 62;**

Joy: Caution is out for debris on the back straightaway – what is that?

McReynolds: Somebody lost their Gatorade, it looks like.

D.W: Eh, well, we've seen weirder.

**The caution comes out for debris on the back straightaway in the form of a Gatorade bottle thrown from the stands. Sokka's #38 Love's Travel Center Ford, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass. The other cars then quickly take to pit road for four tires and fuel. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Bender (#22)**

**6. William Murderface (#47)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Edd (#29)**

**9. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**10. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**The race is restarted on lap 68. Stan Smith gets a great run right off the get-go and through turns 1** **and 2, making it up to 2****nd**** before the lap is over.**

** Meanwhile, Eddy makes it back up to 3****rd**** on lap 73, while Phineas Flynn falls out of the top 5 on lap 79.**

** By lap 85, Stan Smith has gotten right on Homer Simpson's tail. Then, on lap 90;**

All: WHOA!

Joy: The #83 almost lost it in the turn, now Stan Smith's in the lead.

Homer: D'OH!

Bart: (scoff) Who gives a crap?

Stan: Yes, fuck yeah!

**Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota almost spins out in turn 2; he saves it, but this allows Stan Smith to take the lead from him.**

** Homer, for the moment, is unable to catch back up with Stan Smith, and on lap 96, he loses 2****nd**** place to Bender.**

** Edd makes it into the top 5 on lap 104.**

** On lap 111, Bender catches up to Stan Smith. He manages to get by him and lead lap 117, but Stan Smith takes it right back on lap 118.**

** On lap 124;**

Joy: Someone's blown an engine.

McReynolds: The #18 of Applejack has blown up, caution is out.

Applejack: Just perfect! We win at Talladega, and then this happens? DAMMIT!

Pinkie Pie: (sigh) Just bring her in – at least we can make the All-Star Race now.

Applejack: True.

**On lap 124, the caution comes out as Applejack's #18 M&M's Toyota blows its engine. Applejack coasts her car off of pit road and into the garage area, retiring from the race.**

** The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Then all the other cars get tires and fuel in the pits, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Stan Smith (#7)**

**2. Bender (#22)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Edd (#29)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**8. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**9. Meatwad (#56)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**The restart occurs on lap 130.**

** Ahsoka Tano enters the top 5 on lap 138.**

** Homer Simpson reenters the top 5 on lap 145, and catches back up with Stan Smith on lap 151. Homer then regains the lead on lap 158.**

Homer: WOO-HOO!

Bart: Who cares?

Stan: Dammit!

**Bender falls out of the top 5 on lap 167.**

** Stan Smith retakes the lead on lap 172, but Homer Simpson takes it right back on lap 179.**

** On lap 186;**

D.W: Oh, big crash on the front straightaway!

McReynolds: Five cars are involved; the #2, the #33, the #55, the #1 and the #21, and we have a caution.

Joy: Yeah, and heavy damage on all those cars.

**A big crash occurs on the front straightaway on lap 186, involving Hoagie Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Ford, Grim's #33 Little Joe's Auto Chevrolet, Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet and Early Cuyler's #21 Ford. All cars are too damaged to continue.**

** Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The surviving cars then make pit stops for four tires and fuel; here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**2. Stan Smith (#7)**

**3. Edd (#29)**

**4. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**5. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**6. Bender (#22)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**9. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**10. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**The restart commences on lap 194.**

** Edd jumps up to 2****nd**** place on lap 200. He sticks right on Homer Simpson's rear bumper for several more laps after that; on lap 206, he does a slingshot move on Homer going off of turn 2;**

Nazz: Yes, yes! You're in the lead, Double D!

Edd: Ooh, fabulous! I have but the slightest hunch that are probability of victory in this event undergone a dramatic increase just now.

Nazz: (giggles) Oh, you!

Homer: D'OH!

Marge: It's alright, this race isn't over yet.

Bart: (grumbles) Who cares?

**Peter Griffin falls out of the top 10 on lap 213.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 219, Ahsoka Tano makes her way up into 3****rd**** place, right behind Homer Simpson. Then on lap 225, she slips by him to take 2****nd****.**

Anakin: Alright, just one car left, Snips, and you're in the lead. Be cautious; don't let anything the #29 may do get underneath your skin.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**Ahsoka Tano catches up to Edd on lap 232.**

Nazz: The Jedi's right behind you!

Edd: Oh, dear! I best not do anything drastic, or she may decapitate my skull from my shoulders with that laser weapon of hers!

**Due to being afraid of the potential of being attack by a Jedi, Edd doesn't really put his heart into trying to hold the lead, and on lap 238, Ahsoka Tano is the new race leader.**

** On lap 248;**

Joy: Trouble! Turn 3!

D.W: Two cars in the wall – the #15 of Frylock and the #11 of Twilight Sparkle, caution is out.

Frylock: (sigh) Those ponies at Joe Gibbs Racing never learn, do they?

Twilight: That box of French fries is the worst driver in NASCAR, period!

**On lap 248, Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota gets loose and clips Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy Toyota; both cars end up crashing hard in the turn 3 wall, and are totaled. Twilight and Frylock get out of their cars unhurt and then argue over the wreck before being led away by track personnel.**

** Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford, running 1 lap down in 19****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Yet again, the cars still in the race get tires and fuel in the pits, and this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Edd (#29)**

**3. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Bender (#22)**

**6. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**7. Ed (#27)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Eddy (#31)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 252. Stan Smith makes it up to 2****nd**** place on lap 257.**

** Ed falls out of the top 10 on lap 261.**

** On lap 265;**

Ben: What the- I don't think we have any oil pressure, guys!

Gwen: Dammit! (sigh) Looks like we won't be making the All-Star race this time.

**On lap 265, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet loses all its oil pressure. Ben brings it into pit road and into the garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** Meanwhile, by lap 272, Stan Smith has caught up to Ahsoka Tano. But he can't pass her; every move he makes, Ahsoka stops it dead in its tracks without much effort.**

Stan: What the hell's going on? It's like she can read my thoughts!

Ahsoka: I'm feeling the force very strongly. It's like it's telling me the #7 car's moves before they happen.

Anakin: That's a very good sign, Snips.

**But her connection to the Force seems to falter on around lap 279, when Stan Smith manages to slip underneath her going into turn 1 and take the lead.**

Stan: Take that, Jedi!

Ahsoka: How… how did that happen?

Anakin: Dwelling on the past leads to the buildup of strong, negative feelings, Padawan, so it's best to just put it behind you… no pun intended.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**On lap 286, Ahsoka Tano loses 2****nd**** place to Homer Simpson, and on lap 293, loses 3****rd**** place to Eric Cartman.**

** Back up front, on lap 299, Stan Smith runs into a problem; the #16 car of Danny Phantom. Currently, Danny is in 19****th**** place, on the tail end of the lead lap, and is trying like hell to keep Stan from putting him a lap down. The longer Danny holds Stan off, the more time this gives Homer Simpson to catch up, and sure enough, on lap 305, Stan totally loses his patience…**

Joy: Big trouble at the pit entrance! Danny Phantom has gone head-on into the end of the pit wall, and his car is totaled!

McReynolds: The #7 of Stan Smith made contact with him, and that's what put him around.

D.W: I told you we have another developing rivalry.

Stan: Heh heh, I really handed that ghost fag's ass to him.

Danny: I'm gonna kill that damned fascist!

Sam: Calm down, Danny. At least we'll be in the All-Star race next week.

Danny: Well so will him! And when I get my hands on him…!

**On lap 305, Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet clips the left-rear of Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford; Danny's car spins out and goes head-on into the end of the pit wall, completely destroying the front end of the car. Danny, however, is unhurt.**

** Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** And so the cars still in the race go onto pit road for their last pit stops of the race, each taking four tires and fuel. Everything goes without a hitch, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Stan Smith (#7)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**4. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**5. Bender (#22)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Edd (#29)**

**8. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**9. Eddy (#31)**

**10. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**The race is then restarted on lap 310.**

** Eric Cartman falls out of the top 5 on lap 317.**

** Meanwhile, Homer Simpson is right on Stan Smith's tail, trying to take the lead, which he accomplishes on lap 323.**

** Stan Smith then decides, at this late stage in the race, to take drastic measures;**

D.W: What the-

Marge: Look out, Homey!

Homer: What the hell's happening?

Joy: Stan Smith has his gun out, and he is trying to shoot the #83's tires out!

Stan: You're not winning this one, fatass!

Homer: AAH! He's gonna shoot me!

**Stan Smith draws his 9mm pistol and shoots at Homer Simpson's car, trying to shoot his tires out. But none of these bullets hit, and it's not long before his tires run out.**

Marge: I think he's stopped shooting.

Homer: Phew!

Stan: Dammit, I had that son of a bitch! Ugh!

**Then, on lap 331, Ahsoka Tano slips by Stan Smith for 2****nd****.**

Ahsoka: Thank God he's out of ammo!

…

** By lap 348, Ahsoka Tano is right on Homer Simpson's tail, and the battle for the lead begins. Ahsoka takes the lead on lap 352, then Homer takes it back on lap 356, then its Ahsoka on lap 361, then Homer again on lap 365.**

** The white flag flies on lap 367 with Homer in the lead and Ahsoka right behind him. They stay this way until turn 4, when Ahsoka makes her move;**

D.W: Ahsoka Tano to the inside, there they go side-by-side!

McReynolds: It's a drag race, they're making contact, and it's…

All: SIMPSON!

McReynolds: He held her off!

Joy: Homer Simpson wins the Bojangles' Southern 500!

Homer: WOOOOO! In your fuckin' face, Jedi bitch! Yeah!

Marge: You got her real good, Homey!

Homer: Yeah, no thanks to our dipshit son.

Bart: Asshole.

Homer: Why, you LITTLE…!

**Homer Simpson holds off Ahsoka Tano by 15 ten-thousandths of a second to win the Bojangles' Southern 500. Ahsoka settles for 2****nd****, Stan Smith comes in 3****rd****, Bender is 4****th****, Eric Cartman claims 5****th****, Eddy places 6****th****, Phineas Flynn takes 7****th****, Peter Griffin gets 8****th****, Ferb Fletcher finishes 9****th**** and Edd rounds out the top 10.**

** Then, in Victory Lane, after the burnout, champagne and confetti;**

Byrnes: Defending champion Homer Simpson, you held off a real, honest-to-god Jedi Knight to win the Southern 500!

Homer: I thought she was just a Jedi Padawan. Whatever, I really didn't think I had a chance; once Ahsoka tried her move, I thought I was pretty much screwed. I guess it was the way our cars touched that allowed me to hold her off, I don't know. But we've won, and that's all that matters. And for that, I have to thank Burger King, Toyota, Thomas Ueberall and my lovely wife Marge for all their support, without them, we wouldn't be defending champions. And I'm really psyched out about the upcoming All-Star Race!

Byrnes: Great job, Homer.

Homer: Thanks.

**Homer's wife and crew chief Marge Simpson then appears beside him and they have their victory kiss.**

** Bojangles' Southern 500 race results;**

**1. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Stan Smith (#7)**

**4. Bender (#22)**

**5. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**6. Eddy (#31)**

**7. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**8. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**11. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**12. William Murderface (#47)**

**13. Meatwad (#56)**

**14. Butt-Head (#48)**

**15. Beavis (#24)**

**16. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**17. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**18. Ed (#27)**

**19. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**20. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**21. The Warden (#32) (1 lap down)**

**22. Katara (#34) (1 lap down)**

**23. Sokka (#38) (1 lap down)**

**24. Gumball Watterson (#87) (1 lap down)**

**25. Rainbow Dash (#20) (1 lap down)**

**26. Timmy Turner (#17) (1 lap down)**

**27. Dudley Puppy (#99) (1 lap down)**

**28. Aang (#35) (2 laps down)**

**29. Hank Hill (#95) (2 laps down)**

**30. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (3 laps down)**

**31. Francine Smith (#36) (3 laps down)**

**32. Kim Possible (#51) (4 laps down)**

**33. Jake Long [R] (#30) (5 laps down)**

**34. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Ben Tennyson (#10) (DNF; oil pressure)**

**36. Frylock (#15) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Early Cuyler (#21) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Nigel Uno (#1) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Grim (#33) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Applejack (#18) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 11 of 36 races;**

**1. Homer Simpson (#83); 263 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 260 points**

**3. Stan Smith (#7); 257 points**

**4. Bender (#22)/Eric Cartman (#14); 256 points**

**6. Beavis (#24); 255 points**

**7. Eddy (#31)/Phineas Flynn (#43)/Peter Griffin (#93); 253 points**

**10. Edd (#29); 250 points**

**11. Ferb Fletcher (#9); 249 points**

**12. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 248 points**

**13. Meatwad (#56)/Butt-Head (#48); 247 points**

**15. William Murderface (#47)/Rainbow Dash (#20); 246 points**

**17. Foxxy Love (#98)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Applejack (#18); 244 points**

**20. Aang (#35)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 243 points**

**22. Ed (#27)/Kenny McCormick (#39)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Danny Phantom (#16)/Master Shake (#55)/Grim (#33); 242 points**

**28. The Warden (#32)/Dudley Puppy (#99)/Hank Venture [R] (#13)Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Early Cuyler (#21)/Nigel Uno (#1); 241 points**

**34. Frylock (#15); 240 points**

**35. Sokka (#38); 239 points**

**36. Timmy Turner (#17)/Ben Tennyson (#10); 238 points**

**38. Katara (#34)/Jake Long [R] (#30); 237 points**

**40. Kim Possible (#51); 235 points**

**41. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Hank Hill (#95)/Francine Smith (#36); 234 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 130 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 122 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 111 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 107 points**

**Next race; NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race at Charlotte Motor Speedway.**


	23. Cartoon All-Star Race

** This next race is not a points race, nor is it an exhibition race. It is the NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race!**

** This race will be a Saturday night race at Charlotte Motor Speedway; this track is a 1.5-mile quad-oval. The turns are banked at 24 degrees and the straights are banked at 5 degrees.**

** Now here's how this event will work; the drivers that are eligible for this race are those who won a race wither last season or earlier in this current season, along with three others – we'll get to that later. The actual race will work like this; 5 segments. The first four segments will be 20 laps, and the final segment will be 10 laps. There will be a competition caution after each of the first four segments; pit stops will be optional during the first three competition cautions, and there will be a mandatory four-tire pit stop before the last segment. Laps won't count during competition cautions, but they will count in during the racing segments, except in the very last one, where no caution laps will count at all. Additionally, drivers will start the last segment according to their average finish in the first four segments; this is to prevent sandbagging.**

** The prize for winning this race will be $1,000,000. Furthermore if a driver manages to win all five segments, they will win an additional $1,000,000; for $2,000,000 total. But that's ONLY if one driver wins all five segments!**

…

** However, before we get to the Cartoon All-Star Race, we will first run the Cartoon Showdown. This will be a 40-lap sprint race that will give all the characters not automatically eligible for the All-Star Race a chance to get in. Those who finish 1****st**** and 2****nd**** in the Showdown will get in the All-Star Race; a third character voted for by the fans will also get in.**

** So without further ado, here will be the starting grid for the Cartoon Showdown;**

**1. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**2. Bender (#22)**

**3. Frylock (#15)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**6. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**7. William Murderface (#47)**

**8. Grim (#33)**

**9. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**11. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**12. Francine Smith (#36)**

**13. Hank Hill (#95)**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**15. Sokka (#38)**

**16. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**This whole event will be broadcast on SPEED Channel. Tuning to them now…**

Joy: One of the most looked-forward-to events of the NASCAR season, where no points are awarded, no holds are barred, and a big sum of money is on the line – welcome to the first-ever NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race! I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip.

D.W: OK, now I'm absolutely 100% certain that THIS will be the wildest race of the season! Thus far, points have been on the line, and those outcomes directly affected future races, but not this time! This time, all of the characters will be going all-out in a winner-take-all brawl, and I'm so excited to see what all they're going to do to each other this time!

McReynolds: Well first, there is the Cartoon Showdown, where only 3 out of 16 drivers will be added to the All-Star Race lineup. And they're most certainly gonna be beating the hell out of each other to try and get those first two positions, because who knows who the fans will vote for!

Joy: Well, they're running the pace laps now and the field just got the one-to-go signal, so now we wait…

…

**Upon completing the pace laps, the pace car pulls down onto pit road. The green flag then turns the racecars loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Ben Tennyson pulls away right from the start.**

** Then on lap 5, Ferb Fletcher busts his way into 2****nd**** place. He catches up to Ben Tennyson on lap 9.**

Ferb: C'mon, give me some room, you bloody arsehole!

**Little do they know that their little jousting match is allowing Bender to catch up with them…**

** …and sure enough, by lap 15, it escalates into a three-way battle for the lead, and on lap 19, Bender slips past both Ben and Ferb to take the lead.**

Farnsworth: Excellent driving, Bender.

Bender: Pfft! I'm the only All-Star in the field, not those jokers!

Ben: I'm not letting a half-assed robot take away my thunder!

**Ben Tennyson and Ferb Fletcher both stay right on Bender's tail, ensuring that this three-way battle for the lead remains underway…**

** …but on lap 25, it becomes a four-way battle as Daria Morgendorffer catches up to them all.**

Daria: (snickers)

**By sheer determination, on lap 28, Ben Tennyson gets by Bender for the lead. Ferb Fletcher follows him by for 2****nd**** on lap 30. Daria Morgendorffer pushes her way up to 3****rd**** on lap 32.**

Bender: This is bullshit! I'M the only All-Star in this field! These fuckers are all full of shit! ARRGH!

Farnsworth: (facepalm) I don't wanna live on this planet anymore.

**Ferb Fletcher then takes the lead on lap 34.**

Ferb: (snicker)

**Daria Morgendorffer moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 37, dropping Ben Tennyson out of the last transfer spot. Bender then moves to 3****rd**** on lap 39, putting Ben back in 4****th****.**

Ben: Damn, I hope those stupid fans like me well enough…

**The white flag flies on lap 40. Bender catches up to Ferb and Daria going down the backstretch. He then pulls side-by-side with both of them going through turn 4.**

Joy: Here they come, three-wide to the checkers…

…

All: FLETCHER!

Joy: Ferb Fletcher wins the Cartoon Showdown, Daria Morgendorffer is 2nd, those two, plus whoever gets the fan vote will go to the Cartoon All-Star Race!

Ferb: (wry smile)

Daria: (shrug) Well, I guess I'm an All-Star!

Bender: GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT! MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING ASS! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!...

**In a spectacular three-wide finish, Ferb Fletcher wins the Cartoon Showdown while Daria Morgendorffer places 2****nd****; these two will automatically proceed to the Cartoon All-Star Race.**

** And when the fan votes get in, it is determined that Ben Tennyson got the most votes out of all the drivers in the Showdown, meaning that he too will be in the All-Star Race.**

Ben: Whew! Thank you, NASCAR fans!

Gwen: Now we just gotta make it count.

Ben: Roger that!

…

** And now, presenting the starting grid for the NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race;**

**1. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Ed (#27)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Aang (#35)**

**6. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**7. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**8. Meatwad (#56)**

**9. Eddy (#31)**

**10. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**11. Spongebob Squarepants (#78)**

**12. Stan Smith (#7)**

**13. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**14. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**15. Edd (#29)**

**16. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**17. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**18. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**19. Butt-Head (#48)**

**20. Beavis (#24)**

**21. Master Shake (#55)**

**22. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**23. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**24. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**25. Kim Possible (#51)**

**26. Katara (#18)**

**27. Applejack (#18)**

**28. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**29. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**30. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**Now to tune back on to SPEED channel;**

Joy: The field has been set for the NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race. 30 cars, more than we've ever had before in the All-Star Race, will duke it out in a no-holds-barred 90-lap battle royal for $1,000,000; $2,000,000 if one wins all five segments. Welcome back to NASCAR on SPEED, everyone! So Larry, D.W., how do you think this one will turn out?

McReynolds: It's very difficult to say, Mike. Our defending champion Homer Simpson is on the pole, but we have the unicorn Twilight Sparkle in 2nd, airbender Aang in 5th, the ghost-boy Danny Phantom in 6th, and a good few other characters with wacky powers and weapons hidden up their sleeves!

D.W: I… have to agree with you there, Larry Mac. Of course, sure, we have super-powered characters in the field, but that doesn't guarantee any wins – otherwise Homer Simpson wouldn't be the defending series champion right now! Still, pretty much everyone will have their work cut out for them, so yeah, like Larry said, you can't really pick a winner here.

Joy: Nevertheless, there will be a winner here tonight, and a new millionaire. Now let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, one of the richest and most ruthless animated plutocrats ever known, Charles Montgomery Burns!

Burns: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines! You too, Homer!

(engines revving)

Burns: Excellent…

Joy: Our defending series champion Homer Simpson is sitting on the pole, and the pony Twilight Sparkle is 2nd. Then in 3rd is the box of French fries Frylock, and the Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan will roll out in 4th. Aang and Danny Phantom will start 5th and 6th. In 7th is Homer's teammate Peter Griffin, and the piece of meat called Meatwad will start 8th. Scammaster Eddy is 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is Nigel Uno…

…

**Once again, the pace car pulls off onto pit road, and the field, 30 cars strong, is turned loose via the waving of the green flag.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go All-Star racing, boys!

**As Homer Simpson pulls to an early lead, on lap 4, Hoagie Gilligan moves up to 2****nd**** place.**

** Peter Griffin moves into the top 5 on lap 7; Danny Phantom follows suit on lap 12.**

** Danny then moves up to 3****rd**** on lap 14 and catches up to Hoagie and Homer on lap 17.**

** They continue to run in this order through lap 20 - then, while going through turns 3 & 4;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

…

McReynolds: The #16 just went ghost!

D.W: He's passed right through the #2 and the #83, he's leading coming out of turn 4…

Joy: And Danny Phantom will win the first segment of this race.

Danny: Alright, we're one step closer to not one, but two million dollars!

Sam: (blows kiss)

Homer: D'OH!

Hoagie: God, that phantom's going to be the death of us.

**Danny Phantom wins the first segment of the All-Star Race; the competition caution comes out after everyone has completed lap 20.**

** On pit road, we see various different strategies; no one takes four tires. Some take two, some gas 'n go, while Ferb Fletcher, Daria Morgendorffer and Ben Tennyson stay out. Thus, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Aang (#35)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**9. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**10. Homer Simpson (#83)**

…

** Daria Morgendorffer gets the better jump on the restart, so she takes the lead from Ferb Fletcher.**

** Ahsoka Tano jumps into the top 5 on lap 25, but on lap 28;**

Joy: Big trouble in turn 4!

McReynolds: Ahsoka Tano has gone hard in the pit wall, caution is out!

D.W: The #20 car got into her, and she went…

Rainbow Dash: Jedi bitch! She's not keeping me from a million dollars!

Ahsoka: One of these days I'm going to kill that waste of semen!

Anakin: That kind of crap is what starts you on the path to the Dark Side, Ahsoka! Don't think those thoughts!

Ahsoka: (facepalm) Yes, Master.

**Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota clips the left-rear of Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, sending Ahsoka's car spinning out, crashing into the end of the pit wall and being totaled. Ahsoka, unhurt, vacates her car, which is then removed from the track.**

…

** No one pits this time, and the race is restarted on lap 32.**

** Danny Phantom comes charging off of the restart, and gets into the top 5 on lap 36, then 3****rd**** on lap 38, and then 2****nd**** on lap 39.**

** Daria Morgendorffer retains the lead going into lap 40 with Danny Phantom right behind her. She retains the lead going through turns 1 & 2, but then;**

McReynolds: Daria ALMOST spun out in the turn!

D.W: She saves it, but there goes Danny Phantom!

Joy: And he wins Segment 2!

Danny: In the words of Darth Vader; "All too easy!"

**Danny Phantom wins the 2****nd**** segment of the All-Star Race, and another competition caution is sanctioned.**

** This time, everyone gets back on the same pit cycle, coming to the pits all at once. Everyone takes just two tires and fuel, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**7. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**8. Eddy (#31)**

**9. Aang (#35)**

**10. Meatwad (#56)**

…

**Danny Phantom jumps out ahead of the pack on the restart.**

**Homer Simpson rejoins the top 5 on lap 46.**

** Stan Smith cracks the top 10 on lap 49.**

** Nigel Uno moves up to 2****nd**** place on lap 50, and catches up to Danny Phantom on lap 54.**

Nigel: Alright, time to see just how intangible this so-called phantom really is!

**Nigel swerves left and right, trying like hell to get his front end past Danny's rear end, which would set up a potential pass. But every time he makes an attempt at this, Danny holds him back.**

** Then, on lap 60;**

Joy: Here we go; he's pulled right up alongside Danny!

Nigel: That million dollars is mine, Phantom!

**Nigel Uno pulls alongside Danny Phantom on the backstretch on lap 60. The two remain this way going onto the homestretch.**

Joy: And it's…

All: PHANTOM!

Joy: Danny Phantom wins another segment.

Danny: Yep, that clinches it; nothing can stop us now!

Sam: That's my Danny. (blows kiss)

Nigel: I swear to God… (facepalm)

**Danny Phantom just barely beats Nigel Uno to the end of lap 60, thus winning yet another segment of the All-Star Race.**

** Everyone then takes two tires and fuel on the competition caution, and here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**6. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

…

** On the restart, Danny Phantom and Nigel Uno both pull away from the pack, side-by-side. They keep at it like this until lap 63, when Nigel Uno gains the upper hand and takes the lead.**

Nigel: Now that's more like it! Now we're on the road to a million dollars!

Rachel: (chuckles) 10-4.

**On lap 67, Ben Tennyson falls out of the top 10.**

** Then on lap 70, Danny Phantom pulls up alongside Nigel Uno again, looking to get past him so that he may win this segment along with all of the previous ones.**

Danny: Yeah, I'm not settling for just one million, I'm going for two! And this British baldie ain't takin' that away from us!

Sam: (giggles and blows a kiss)

**On lap 71, Stan Smith enters the top 5; Peter Griffin follows suit on lap 72.**

** On lap 75, Homer Simpson catches up to Danny Phantom and Nigel Uno, trying to get between the both of them to take the lead.**

Homer: That million dollars is mine! I swear once I win that money, I'm gonna tell Mr. Burns to stick it right up his rotten ass!

**Danny Phantom regains the lead on lap 78, and Homer Simpson moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 80…**

Joy: Danny Phantom wins Segment 4; he is just 10 green-flag laps away from two million dollars!

Danny: We're gonna do it, Sam! We're gonna win two million freakin' dollars!

Sam: I'll be cheerin' for you the whole way, babe!

**Danny Phantom wins Segment 4, giving him a chance to win not one, but two million dollars.**

** All of the cars now make the mandatory four-tire pit stop to prepare for the final 10-lap dash to the finish. Everything proceeds smoothly, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**9. Eddy (#31)**

**10. Meatwad (#56)**

…

** On the restart, Nigel Uno doesn't get off that well.**

Nigel: Dammit, I spun the tires! DAMMIT!

Rachel: Relax, this isn't a points race. If we don't get 'em here, we'll get 'em in the Coke 600.

Nigel: (sigh) 10-4.

**As Danny Phantom once again jumps out ahead of the pack, on lap 83, Stan Smith makes it up to 2****nd**** place.**

** Then on lap 85, Peter Griffin gets up to 3****rd**** place.**

** And on lap 87, Stan Smith is right up on Danny Phantom's rear bumper, trying to get past him to take the win and the prize money. Danny, however, holds him off, and this allows Peter Griffin to catch up…**

** The white flag flies on lap 90; Danny Phantom is leading, Stan Smith is right on his bumper, and Peter Griffin is in the cat bird's seat, lurking just behind the both of them. Danny holds Stan off going through turns 1 & 2, adding to Stan's frustration and anger, which hits its boiling point as they enter turn 3;**

Stan: I'm not coming behind you again, ghost-faggot!

…

All: OH!

Joy: He just shot Phantom's tire out, Danny Phantom has spun out!

McReynolds: No caution.

Danny: THAT FASCIST SHOULD BE FUCKIN' SHOT! TWO MILLION DOLLARS, GONE! FUUUUCK!

Stan: Yes! I'm gonna fuckin' win…!

**Going into turn 3, Stan Smith draws his 9mm pistol and shoots Danny Phantom's left-rear tire out, causing Danny's #16 3M Ford to spin out; it doesn't hit the wall, but he has been removed from contention.**

** And at this point, Stan Smith thinks he has this race in the bag, unaware as he exits turn 4 that Peter Griffin is right there…**

D.W: And here comes Peter Griffin to the inside of Stan Smith!

McReynolds: It's a drag race…

…

All: GRIFFIN!

Joy: Peter Griffin wins the Cartoon All-Star Race!

Peter: WOOOOOO, YES! We're fuckin' millionaires, Lois!

Lois: This is so awesome, Peter!

Brian: Man, I can only imagine how this money is gonna corrupt both of your thick skulls.

Peter: Oh shut up, Brian.

Stan: Goddammit, where the fuck did he come from? Fuckin' lardass just robbed me of a million fuckin' dollars! That's grand fuckin' larceny! FUCK!

**Peter Griffin narrowly beats Stan Smith to win the NASCAR Cartoon All-Star Race. Homer Simpson comes in 3****rd****, Nigel Uno is 4****th****, Hoagie P. Gilligan takes 5****th****, Rainbow Dash gets 6****th****, Eddy claims 7****th****, Meatwad places 8****th****, Daria Morgendorffer finishes 9****th**** and Timmy Turner rounds out the top 10.**

** Peter does a long series of burnouts across the front straightaway of Charlotte Motor Speedway as the fans cheer hysterically, almost burning his tires down to the rim. When he's done with that, he cruises into Victory Lane and celebrates with his crew chief and wife Lois by his side. Matt Yocum then moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Peter Griffin, a crazy win for you in the Cartoon All-Star Race. What was it like racing Stan Smith and Danny Phantom on the final lap?

Peter: Man, I did not expect Stan to pull his gun on the Phantom like that – hell, I thought the Phantom had it in the bag. I admit, I was hesitant towards trying to join the fray, 'cause I was afraid that we'd all wreck. But once he got Danny out of the picture, I decided to say screw it, and go for it. And well, I'm not sure how I got it, but I got it. But what I do know is that this wouldn't be possible without Thomas Ueberall or BK Racing, and especially not without my lovely wife Lois, so thanks go out to all of you. And I'm probably gonna blow this million dollars all in a day, but it was SO worth it!

Yocum: Great job, Peter.

Peter: Thanks.

**Peter and Lois then share their victory kiss.**

** Meanwhile, Danny Phantom has just gotten out of his ailing racecar after finishing a dismal 29****th**** out of 30 cars, and his met by his girlfriend and crew chief, Sam Manson.**

Danny: Sam, I swear to God, I'm gonna kill that government fascist! What business do CIA bastards even have driving racecars, anyway?

Sam: Danny, please, calm down! This wasn't a points race, remember?

Danny: But we could've won two million dollars, for Christ's sake! And that asswipe just took it all away! I'm tellin' you, I'M GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN HIS NECK!

Sam: Alright, Danny, just RELAX, DAMMIT!

**This shuts Danny up. Suddenly, his anger gives way to sadness; his head starts to slump downwards and tears start to form in his eyes.**

Sam: (hugs Danny) Aww, it's okay, Danny.

**After holding Danny in her arms for a while, Sam speaks;**

Sam: Now listen; we may not have two million dollars, but at least we have each other. That's something money can't buy. And this wasn't a points race, so in a way, it doesn't really mean anything. And I just know you'll do superb in next week's 600-mile race.

Danny: (sigh)

Sam: Hey, cheer up, sweetie. Tell you what; I'll order us a nice, super-size pepperoni pizza, and you'll be able to eat your heart out and maybe feel just a little better. Would you like that.

Danny: (sniff) That'd be great.

Sam: (kisses Danny on forehead)

…

**Cartoon All-Star Race results;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Stan Smith (#7)**

**3. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Meatwad (#56)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**10. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**11. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**12. Ed (#27)**

**13. Aang (#35)**

**14. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**15. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**16. Edd (#29)**

**17. Katara (#34)**

**18. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**19. Beavis (#24)**

**20. Butt-Head (#48)**

**21. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**22. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**23. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**24. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**25. Applejack (#18)**

**26. Master Shake (#55)**

**27. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**28. Kim Possible (#51)**

**29. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**30. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF; accident)**

**Next race; Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte motor Speedway.**


	24. The Lake

Side story time!

This one is set on the shore of Lake Wylie, which is on the North Carolina/South Carolina state line and about 35 miles away from Charlotte Motor Speedway. It is on the hot and sunny Sunday afternoon right after the Cartoon All-Star Race.

Right now, congregating at this lake are many of the kids of the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, including Nigel Uno, Rachel McKenzie, Hoagie Gilligan, Wally Beetles, Abigail Lincoln, Kuki Sanban, Timmy Turner, Bart Simpson, Billy and Mandy, the baby dragon Spike, and the ponies Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Also present here are Bart's sister Lisa Simpson, Timmy's friend Tootie, and the pony Sweetie Belle (the younger sister of Rarity, the crew chief for the #11 FedEx Toyota driven by Twilight Sparkle).

Right now, all of them are casually relaxing on the bank of the lake, having some snacks they brought along with them while chatting about NASCAR business;

"Man, I don't know about you, Lis," says Bart, "but even I shook my head when Stan shot Danny's tire out on the way to the finish. Next thing you know, he's gonna be shooting Danny himself, it looks like!"

"I doubt it," Lisa shrugs. "He could just go intangible like he did before, maybe even possess him or something… but yeah, Stan Smith is pretty much the embodiment of all the negative stereotypes about the American people."

"Kind of like our asshole parents!" Bart hisses.

"Bart, for our sake, let's just forget about Mom and Dad for now – besides, I'm sure they'll come around sometime," says Lisa. "For now, let's just relax."

"Yeah, you're right," affirms Bart.

…

"Incredible, isn't it?" Nigel Uno says to his fellow Kids Next Door. In just one week, three of the biggest races in the world; the Monaco Grand Prix, the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca-Cola 600 – all in one day!"

"Damn, if only we could race in all three of those in one year!" Wally yearns. "Then again, I've heard those open-wheel cars are much more dangerous than our stock cars."

"Yeah, remember what happened to Dan Wheldon?" Hoagie says. "About a year-and-a-half ago?"

"Don't remind us, dude?" Rachel grimly facepalms.

"Yeah, I don't wanna think about the chances of that happening to us!" squeaks Kuki.

"Oh please," Abigail scoffs. "You all know that NASCAR cars are a hell of a lot safer than Indy and Formula One – and it's not like ANYONE could win all three of those races in a single day…"

Over time, the heat starts to get to a few of these characters a little bit;

"Man, it is so hot out here!" observes Scootaloo. "Then again, if Rainbow Dash can handle it, then so can I!"

"Well I don't know how much more I can take," complains Sweetie Belle. "This sweating is starting to really mess with my complexion."

"Hmmm, well we're right on a big lake," Spike says. "Maybe we could go for a dip and cool off?"

"Not a bad idea!" commends Apple Bloom.

"I guess so," Sweetie Belle shrugs.

"Eh, why not?" says Scootaloo.

With the matter at hand settled, Spike, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle all run full-speed ahead into the lake and start splashing each other like maniacs… but they're all laughing their flanks off, so to speak, so it's okay.

The other kids on the shoreline spot this action;

"Hey, anyone else want to take a dip?" Timmy asks everyone.

After that, no verbal means of acknowledgment are needed. Most everyone immediately runs to the bushes on the back of the lake's bank, takes off their shirts and stores them there. The Kids Next Door are the first to break for it; after removing their shirts, the respective couples (Nigel and Rachel, Abby and Hoagie, and Kuki and Wally) all hold hands and run into the water…

Additionally, Lisa also slips on a pair of sweat shorts underneath her dress before taking it off, along with her pearl necklace. When she sees her brother raising an eyebrow at her, she says, "Dude, you wouldn't expect me to just go in my panties, would you? Especially with all of these damn boys around. They may all have girlfriends, but I still don't trust them." Then, as Bart blushes out of embarrassment, Lisa grabs him by the arm and says, "Now c'mon, let's go swimming!" And she and her brother both run into the lake; when it gets deep enough, they both duck down underwater for a second and then come back up, both feeling incredibly rejuvenated as the clean, cool water runs down their faces.

Plus, such is the conversation that occurs between Timmy and Tootie after they take their shirts off;

"Hey, Timmy?

"Yeah, Tootie?"

"Listen; I know we're just friends, but can I least say this?"

"Uh, what's that?

"You, uh… really do look cute this way."

Timmy, despite only seeing Tootie as a dear friend, can't help but be a little flattered at Tootie's remark, as evidenced by the mild blushing of his face. Tootie then giggles, then grabs a hold of Timmy's arm and they both rush into the water together…

…however, not everyone is going in. Billy has just gotten his shirt off and is about to run head-on into the water when he notices that Mandy is still just lying there, still in her dress. Billy walks up to her and says, "Uh, aren't you coming swimming with us?"

"Pfft! And go in my underwear in front of all these jackasses?" Mandy snaps. "Please!"

Billy's face gets just a little bit glum as he says this; Mandy takes notice and continues, "Hey, I'll make it up to you. Perhaps this evening, you can I can go to Burger King and get something to eat – and maybe while we're there, we can discuss how we can sire 'heirs to our throne' in the future, if you catch my drift."

And Billy says, "Ooh, I love Burger King… wait, what you mean, "heirs to our throne?"

As she sits up, Mandy simply chuckles and says, "Oh, you'll know when we cross that bridge. Now you go on and have fun. But first…" She then spreads her arms. "…give Mandy a hug!"

And Billy gives Mandy a hug. They hold it for a couple of seconds, then Billy turns to the lake and runs flat-out towards it, yelling out "Yee-hah!" as he enters the water and dives under.

As for the others, many of them are already having fun in the water, swimming around and splashing and occasionally even dunking each other at random. Meanwhile, Kuki and Wally have swam out a little ways away from them, and right now are hovering in the water together, arms around each other, torsos locked against each other, and their faces touching each other as they look out across the lake.

"It's pretty sweet, ain't it?" Wally whispers. "Imagine if we had a private lake of our own like this?"

"Yeah, that would be pretty cool," Kuki nods. "Then we could have more moments like this;"

Kuki then leans her face over in front of Wally's and kisses him on the lips, holding them locked with his. A second later, Wally returns the gesture. The two do not involve their tongues or slip off their pants or anything – they simply make out softly like this, feeling as close as ever.

That's when Bart and Lisa both see them from a distance. "Hey, Lis, I've got an idea…"

Bart then whispers to Lisa his idea, which Lisa is a bit skeptical about at first, but then decides that it could be fun. She and Bart both quietly swim up to Kuki and Wally; neither members of the couple notice them, they just continue kissing. Bart and Lisa then both duck down underneath the water and hide behind them both; Bart gets behind Kuki and Lisa gets behind Wally. Then…

"My pants! They just fell down!"

"Mine too! What's happening!"

Bart and Lisa pantse Kuki and Wally – both of them are startled out of their wits by this. Quickly, they both manage to recover their pants before they fall completely off. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa have both just emerged from underwater over near where everywhere else is. From this distance, they are able to observe Kuki and Wally both struggling to get their pants fastened back on… and laugh about it… all without getting caught.

Bart then holds up his hand for a high-five, proclaiming, "I've taught you well, sis!" Lisa then high-fives her brother – right as he splashes a bunch of water right in his face. "Hey, I'll get you for that!" Bart laughs as he and Lisa start their splashing match…

"Man, I don't know why the heck we don't do this more often," Timmy says to Tootie.

"I know, this is great!" Tootie replies. "Bright sun, clear waters – this is actually kind of better than the beach!"

"Sort of," Timmy chuckles. "But I have to admit, I've really come to enjoy hanging out with you. It's remarkable how you've gone from being an obsessive fangirl to a real dear friend of mine."

"Hmmm," Tootie says as she formulates an idea. "So does that mean that I can do this?" Suddenly, Tootie reaches into Timmy's bare armpits and starts to vigorously tickle them. "Aah, you're killing me!" Timmy laughs hysterically as Tootie continues to tickle his armpits, leaving him helpless.

But in time, Timmy manages to pull Tootie's hands away from him; he then retaliates by tickling Tootie's bare armpits and making her laugh just as hysterically and helplessly…

…

And so, for a good long hour, everyone stays in the water of the lake, continuing to have fun. Hoagie and Abby engage in the occasional splash match with each other, as do Nigel and Rachel. The two couples also manage to spend some alone kissing, and occasionally meet up with each other, along with Kuki and Wally, to talk about things.

Billy, meanwhile, has swum around on his own, doing various strokes just for fun, including on his back and on his side. He has also dove down under the water to check out the marine life living on the floor of the lake; all of which has proven to be very fascinating to him, at least, until he has to come back up for air.

And as for Spike and the ponies, they've been engaging in much of the same frivolity as everyone else when…

"Hey guys! I've got an idea!" says Scootaloo. We should make a wave – I mean a big wave like what happens on the ocean and the beach, then we can all bodysurf it!

"Wait, how are we gonna do that?" asks a confused Spike.

"Sweetie Belle, you have magic powers, right?" Scootaloo asks. "You could create the wave that way and then have it start its course on the other side of the lake, which will let it get bigger and bigger on its way here. How's that?"

"Hmmm… sounds like a plan to me!" proclaims Sweetie Belle.

"I like where this is going," replies Apple Bloom.

And so Sweetie Belle puts her magic powers to use in this endeavor.

…

"Is that a wave?"

"I thought that only happened on the ocean!"

"May as well make the most of it…"

Everyone is at first surprised to see this big ocean-like wave coming, but they all decide to take advantage. Everyone turns to face the shore, waiting for the wave to come to them. As the wave gets closer (breaking in the process), they all start to swim; this gets their bodies in position so that the wave may pick them up, and when it does, everyone screams things like "Woo-hoo, yeah!" as they bodysurf this wave… and are eventually laid back on shore.

Billy is the first to get up from this. "Hey, Mandy! Did you see us? Did you see what we all did?"

"Yeah, I guess it was all pretty cool," Mandy shrugs as she pats Billy on the back.

Everyone else then gets up from off the ground, all saying to each other how fun the day was, how they should all hang out more often, etc.

Then, just as everyone gets ready to leave, Sweetie Belle suddenly steps out in front of everyone; "Wait, hold up!"

The other characters all look at each other in confusion, wondering what this little pony could have planned. Then, using her magic powers, Sweetie Belle conjures up a digital camera mounted on a tripod, points it at everyone and proclaims, "Group photo!"

Everyone (except Mandy) then gets together, putting their arms around each other and making various hand gestures. Sweetie Belle then activates the camera's timer feature and joins the group. When the photo snaps, Sweetie Belle then shows everyone; they all then make a bunch of comments of how cute they all look together.

And so then, with no further business at this lake, the characters all start to leave. Spike and the ponies are the first to leave; after they say good-bye to everyone, they all teleport away in an instant via Sweetie Belle's magic.

"Man, I know the Coke 600 is still a week away," Wally says to the rest of the Kids Next Door as they all put their shirts back on, "but I can hardly wait!"

"Yeah, Numbuh 5 believes at least one of us will be successful, heh heh!" chuckles Abby.

"Well, either way," Nigel says, "and I know this is cliché, but as long as we're all racing together, win or lose, that's what's #1 to me." Rachel then gives him a kiss on the cheek as they all leave into the sunset.

...

"Well, it looks like we have to go back to our apathetic parents," Lisa sighs as she and Bart redress.

"Not now," Bart says. "I'm hoping to meet up with Fluttershy in a little while, you should come along! Besides, Mom and Dad don't care, they never care these days."

"Yeah, I guess that would be better than hanging out with them," Lisa nods.

"Amen to that!" Bart proclaims as she and Lisa start back to Charlotte.

...

"Good thing I have my fairy godparents on my race team," Timmy is telling Tootie, "or else I probably wouldn't last through a 600-mile race."

"Seriously, every time you mention your godparents," Tootie replies, "you make me wish I had some of my own – then I'd really show my bitch of a sister Vicky who's boss!"

"Yeah, we could kick her ass together, heh heh," Timmy laughs as she and Tootie redress. "Anyway, Cosmo and Wanda were able to snag me some rare boot-legged cartoons, wanna watch some?"

"Sure, why not?" Tootie acknowledges as she and Timmy leave the lake.

...

And as Billy puts his shirt back on, Mandy asks him, "So, you ready to get some Burger King?"

"You bet!" proclaims Billy. "But I still don't know what you mean when you mention siring 'heirs to our throne.'"

"Like I told you, you'll know when I tell you," says Mandy as she pats Billy on the back. "Now, c'mon, let's go eat.

"Oh, man, am I hungry!" And with that, Billy and Mandy are the last ones to leave the lake shore, leaving it unoccupied, and leaving everyone who's been here satisfied with their day.


	25. Coca Cola 600

** It is the Sunday before Memorial Day, known to every race fan around the world as The Biggest Day in Racing! We have the Monaco Grand Prix in the morning, the Indianapolis 500 in the afternoon, and in the evening we have the race that we will focus on right now – the Coca-Cola 600!**

** Like the Cartoon All-Star Race, this event is also held at Charlotte Motor Speedway; for those of you who have forgotten, this track is a 1.5-mile quad-oval; the turns are banked at 24 degrees and the straights are banked at 5 degrees.**

** This will be the longest race in the NASCAR season; 600 miles run over 400 laps. The race will start in the daylight, go through twilight and end at night.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Frylock (#15)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**5. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**6. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**7. Katara (#34)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. Kim Possible (#51)**

**11. Francine Smith (#36)**

**12. Hank Hill (#95)**

**13. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**15. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**16. The Warden (#32)**

**17. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**18. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**19. Ed (#27)**

**20. Master Shake (#55)**

**21. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**22. Grim (#33)**

**23. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**24. Butt-Head (#48)**

**25. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**26. Edd (#29)**

**27. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**28. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**29. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**30. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**31. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**32. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**33. Eddy (#31)**

**34. Meatwad (#56)**

**35. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**36. Beavis (#24)**

**37. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**38. Applejack (#18)**

**39. Aang (#35)**

**40. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**41. William Murderface (#47)**

**42. Bender (#22)**

**43. Stan Smith (#7)**

**Tuning to FOX;**

Joy: It is The Biggest Day in Racing, ladies in gentlemen! We've already run the Monaco Grand Prix and the Indianapolis 500, and both of those races, guaranteed, were as intense as ever! Now we will cap things off with the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series running the longest race of the NASCAR year, the Coca Cola 600! I'm Mike Joy, along with Larry McReynolds and Darrel Waltrip, thanks for having in for this prestigious race. Guys, how do you think these characters will hold up throughout these 600 miles?

McReynolds: Probably better than any of NASCAR's live-action drivers, Mike. They're cartoons, for God's sake! They can do just about anything and everything! Then again, knowing how these characters are with their tempers, they are, in that sense, very much like your typical live-action NASCAR driver, so expect to see some hot heads clashing as the race goes on.

D.W: And we did get a couple previews of that last week in the All-Star Race, when we saw Rainbow Dash put Ahsoka Tano into the end of the pit wall, and when we saw Stan Smith shoot Danny Phantom's tire out on the way to the checkered flag. I think there is a real strong possibility of those two rivals going at it again tonight.

Joy: We may have even more rivalries brew in this 600-miler, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, British superhero/secret agent, Danger Mouse!

Danger Mouse: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The 43 cars fire up their 865 hp engines, prepping to endure their most grueling challenge of the season. When they're all warmed up, the cars are then led out by the pace car.**

Joy: On the pole for this race is the fairy godson himself, Timmy Turner. Alongside him in 2nd is the box of French fries, Frylock. In 3rd is Britain's very own Nigel Uno, and in 4th is the dog Dudley Puppy. The pony Twilight Sparkle is 5th, and the alien-boy Ben Tennyson will start 6th. The water-bender Katara will roll out in 7th and strating this race in 8th place is the squid Early Cuyler. Sokka will start 9th, and Kim Possible will round out the top 10. As you look through the rest of the starting grid on the bottom of your screen, D.W. will be on the phone;

D.W: Dudley Puppy, it's D.W. from the FOX Sports booth, you got a copy?

Dudley: 10-4, D.W.

D.W: Hey, I don't think I've ever talked to you before and, well, you're still looking for your first career win and you're starting 4th in this race. How's the car been for you?

Dudley: Pretty good, I'd say. We do have the 4th place starting spot to show for it, you know, heh heh! Seriously, though, I think we have the car to win this race. Nothing more needs to be said.

D.W: Very well. Thanks for speaking with us and good luck.

Dudley: 10-4, thanks.

...

**After the pace laps, the pace car pulls off of the track and onto pit road. The cars are then turned loose by the green flag.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Frylock spins his tires on the start and quickly falls back to 5****th****. Meanwhile, Timmy Turner and Nigel Uno pull ahead of the pack, running 1****st**** and 2****nd**** respectively.**

** Frylock then falls out of the top 5 on lap 7.**

Frylock: Damn, we're off to a bad start!

Carl: Just shut up and drive, Fry-man.

Frylock: 10-4.

**On lap 13, Twilight Sparkle makes it up to 3****rd****, and from there she starts to gradually catch up to Nigel Uno and Timmy Turner.**

**By lap 19, she has caught up to them both, making it a three-way battle for the lead. She passes Nigel Uno on lap 24, and then sets her sights on Timmy Turner. But as hard as she tries, Timmy just won't give up.**

Twilight: Dammit, give me some room! You're not winning this race!

**Meanwhile, Nigel Uno starts to fall back. Ben Tennyson then passes him for 3****rd**** on lap 29 and joins up with Twilight Sparkle and Timmy Turner on lap 35. He manages to pass Twilight for 2****nd**** on lap 40; Timmy Turner is still leading on lap 45 when;**

Joy: And there's smoke in turn 3-

D.W: That's our points leader!

McReynolds: Our defending series champion Homer Simpson has blown his engine, caution is out!

Homer: You've got to be fucking kidding me!

Bart: (under his breath) Serves you right.

**On lap 45, Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota blows its engine. Frustrated and angry, Homer Simpson coasts his car onto pit road and into his team's garage, retiring from the race.**

** Aang's #35 CSX Transportation Ford, running 1 lap down in 35****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars then make their first pit stops of this 600-mile race. Everyone gets four tires and fuel, all goes smoothly, and here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**4. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**5. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**6. Frylock (#15)**

**7. Kim Possible (#51)**

**8. Francine Smith (#36)**

**9. Hank Hill (#95)**

**10. Katara (#34)**

**The race restarts on lap 50. Twilight Sparkle gets a real strong launch, slingshotting herself around Timmy Turner for the lead.**

Spike: Clear, clear, you're in the lead, Twilight!

**On lap 56, Early Cuyler falls out of the top 5.**

** Dudley Puppy then passes Ben Tennyson for 3****rd**** on lap 63, and passes Timmy Turner for 2****nd**** on lap 69. Then on lap 74;**

Joy: There goes Dudley Puppy to the outside of Twilight Sparkle...

D.W: We have a new race leader!

Dudley: I think we're on our way, Kitty!

Kitty: Ooh, I like where this is goin'!

**Meanwhile, on lap 80, Katara falls out of the top 10.**

** Ben Tennyson then moves past Timmy Turner for 2****nd**** on lap 84, and from there starts gaining on Dudley Puppy, catching him on lap 91. On lap 93;**

Joy: And we got trouble in turn 1!

D.W: The #22 of Bender and the #14 of Eric Cartman have wrecked each other in turn 1, caution is out, and both those cars look damaged beyond repair.

Bender: Seriously? Goddammit!

Cartman: Fuckin' robot!

**On lap 94, Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford and Eric Cartman's #14 Office Depot Chevrolet make contact in turn 1, causing them both to lose control and crash hard into the outside retaining wall. Both cars are trashed, but Bender and Cartman get out of their cars unhurt.**

** Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota, running 1 lap down in 29****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Again, the other cars take four tires and fuel in the pits, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**5. Kim Possible (#51)**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**7. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**8. Frylock (#15)**

**9. Francine Smith (#36)**

**10. Hank Hill (#95)**

**The restart occurs on lap 100. Nigel Uno moves up to the top 5 on lap 108. Then on lap 115, Ben Tennyson moves past Dudley Puppy to assume the lead.**

Ben: We may actually have a shot to finally win one, guys!

**Nigel Uno then passes Timmy Turner for 3****rd**** place on lap 121, and then passes Timmy's teammate Dudley Puppy for the 2****nd**** position on lap 125.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 129, Francine Smith falls out of the top 10.**

** Then, on lap 136, Nigel Uno gets right on Ben Tennyson's rear bumper, challenging him for the lead. For several laps, Ben swerves left-to-right on the track, holding Nigel off. But then, on lap 141, Nigel gets his front bumper past Ben's rear bumper...**

McReynolds: And there goes Nigel Uno into the lead!

**At around this same time, a heated battle for the 23****rd**** position is going between Rainbow Dash, who has the 23****rd**** spot, and Ahsoka Tano, who's trying to take the spot away. For several laps, Rainbow Dash has just not let Ahsoka go by, and Ahsoka's temper gets to where on lap 145, this happens;**

Joy: Big trouble! Turn 4!

McReynolds: Caution is out as Rainbow Dash has gone head-on into the end of the pit wall!

D.W: Just like she did to Ahsoka in the All-Star Race... how ironic...

Anakin: Man, I hate it when you do that.

Ahsoka: (shrug)

Rainbow Dash: I'M GONNA KILL AHSOKA! (pounds fist repeatedly)

**On lap 145, Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet clips Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General, sending Rainbow Dash spinning into the end of the pit wall in much the same manner that Dash did to Ahsoka one week ago in the Cartoon All-Star Race. The front end of the car is destroyed on impact, but Rainbow Dash is unhurt. She is furious nonetheless.**

** Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 25****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Here will be the top 10 after everyone gets their tires and fuel;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**4. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**5. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**6. Kim Possible (#51)**

**7. Hank Hill (#95)**

**8. Frylock (#15)**

**9. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**10. Katara (#34)**

**The restart commences on lap 150. Timmy Turner slingshots his away around Ben Tennyson to take the 2****nd**** spot from him. Nigel Uno, meanwhile, zooms out ahead of the pack.**

**Hank Hill moves up to the top 5 on lap 157.**

** By lap 163, Timmy Turner has caught up to Nigel Uno's rear bumper, inciting a battle for the lead. Nigel manages to hold off Timmy in spite of every move he makes, prompting Timmy to make a drastic measure;**

Timmy: Guys, I wish the #1 car would be forced to let me go.

Wanda: You got it, sport!

…

Joy: Nigel Uno ALMOST spun out in the turn just then!

McReynolds: He saves it, but it's gonna cost him – Timmy Turner is the new race leader!

Nigel: Dammit!

Timmy: Thanks, you guys!

Cosmo: Oh, no problem.

**After that mishap, Nigel Uno begins to gradually fall back.**

** Hank Hill then makes it up to 3****rd**** on lap 168; then he passes Nigel Uno for 2****nd**** on lap 175, and by lap 182 he's caught up to Timmy Turner. Hank tries to take the lead but Timmy viciously holds him off, allowing Nigel Uno to catch up with them…**

** And by lap 190, it's a three-way battle for a lead. Nigel Uno makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 193, and then on lap 196…**

Joy: Big crash, three cars crashing in turn 3!

D.W: The #31, #43 and #93 are in it, neither of them look able to continue.

Phineas: Hmmm, well this is unfortunate.

Eddy: Bastards.

Peter: Dickweeds can't drive worth a damn. Fuck!

**On lap 196, a multi-car crash occurs in turn 3, involving Eddy's #31 Caterpillar, Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford and Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota. All cars go hard into each other and the wall, and neither car can continue, but the drivers are all okay.**

** Kenny McCormick's #39 US Army Chevrolet, running 1 lap down 22****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** After pit stops, the top 10 will be;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Hank Hill (#95)**

**4. Kim Possible (#51)**

**5. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**6. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**7. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**8. Frylock (#15)**

**9. Katara (#34)**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**We restart on lap 204.**

**Hank Hill falls back out of the top 5 on lap 210.**

** Kim Possible then makes it up to 2****nd**** on lap 217, and catches up to Timmy Turner on lap 225. Then on lap 231;**

Ann: Inside, inside… clear! You're in the lead, Kim!

Kim: 10-4, Mom!

**Meanwhile, on lap 237, Frylock falls out of the top 10.**

** On lap 240, Hank Hill moves up to 3****rd****, and up to 2****nd**** on lap 242, and starts to run down Kim Possible…**

** Meanwhile, a vicious battle is going on for the 18****th**** spot; Stan Smith has the spot and Danny Phantom is trying to steal it away. Stan Smith holds him off hard; normally Danny would've gone ghost and driven right through him, but instead he decides to get some retribution in a form of an ectoplasmic energy ball that he generates in his left hand…**

Joy: Trouble in turn 2!

McReynolds: I don't know how the hell he did it, but Danny Phantom just shot Stan Smith's tire out with some sort of energy ball launched from the cockpit of his car!

D.W: If that's not payback, I don't know what is.

Stan: FUCK YOU, GHOST FAG!

Danny: That's what you get!

**On lap 247, Danny Phantom throws an energy ball at the left-rear tire of Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, destroying it. Stan's car loses total control and goes head-on into the inside retaining wall, totally destroying the front end. Stan angrily gets out of his car as it is picked up by the tow truck.**

** Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Hank Hill (#95)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**6. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**7. Katara (#34)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 253; Hank Hill jumps into the lead on lap 255.**

Hank: Well, I'll be damned! We're never in the lead!

Peggy: You're doing great, Hank. Keep it up.

**On lap 261, Early Cuyler falls out of the top 10.**

** Then on lap 266, Dudley Puppy passes his teammate Timmy Turner to regain the 3****rd**** place spot. He then slips by Kim Possible for 2****nd**** on lap 272. And by lap 279, he's right up on the back bumper of Hank Hill.**

Hank: Dang it, this is the most annoying dog I've ever dealt with.

**Then on lap 285…**

Keswick: #95's on your outside… he's still there… clear! You're leading, Dudley!

Dudley: We still have a shot at winning this.

Kitty: 10-4, Dudley!

**Spongebob SquarePants makes his way into the top 5 on lap 293. Then on lap 295…**

Joy: Another crash – this time in the quad-oval.

D.W: The #29 and the #9 have crashed – caution is out.

Edd: Well that was a most dumbfounded logical error on the #9 vehicle's part.

Ferb: (sigh)

**On lap 295, Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet and Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford make contact and lose control while going through the quad-oval, crashing into the outside retaining wall. No one else hits them, and both drivers are okay, but their cars are both toast.**

** Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**2. Hank Hill (#95)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**7. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**8. Sokka (#38)**

**9. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**10. Katara (#34)**

**The race is restarted once again on lap 301.**

** Francine Smith makes it back into the top 10 on lap 308; Ben Tennyson makes it back into the top 5 on lap 313.**

** Spongebob SquarePants then finds himself in the 3****rd**** position on lap 320, and gets up to 2****nd**** on lap 326. He catches up to Dudley Puppy on lap 331, and then on lap 335;**

Krabs: Clear! You're leading this race, my boy!

Spongebob: Yay!

**But then Dudley Puppy takes the lead right back on lap 339.**

Spongebob: Aw, nuts!

Dudley: (snickering)

**Sokka falls out of the top 10 on lap 344.**

** On lap 349…**

Joy: And there's smoke in turn 2.

McReynolds: Caution is out for the #88 of Daria Morgendorffer – she has blown her engine.

Daria: (facepalm)

**On lap 349, Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet blows its engine. Daria limps back to the pits and into her team's garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota, running 1 lap down in 20****th****, once again gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops (everyone's last of this race);**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**2. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**5. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**6. Kim Possible (#51)**

**7. Hank Hill (#95)**

**8. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**9. Katara (#34)**

**10. Sokka (#38)**

**The race is restarted on lap 355.**

** Twilight Sparkle drops out of the top 10 on lap 362, and Early Cuyler gets back in it on lap 368.**

** Dudley Puppy, meanwhile, has pulled away from the pack a ways. But on lap 375, Ben Tennyson makes it back up to 2****nd**** place. And starts to gradually run down the leader…**

** The battle for the win begins on lap 383, both Dudley Puppy and Ben Tennyson fighting for their first career wins. Ben takes the lead on lap 388, but Dudley then takes it back on lap 392; Ben takes it back again on lap 399.**

** The white flag flies on lap 400. Ben Tennyson holds Dudley Puppy off through the first two turns, but in turn 3;**

Joy: Oh, Ben Tennyson almost spun out!

McReynolds: He saves it, but the #99 has the lead!

D.W.: And Ben's out of this one.

Ben: Damn, I almost had it! Dammit!

**Ben Tennyson gets really loose in turn 3, almost losing control. He keeps it from spinning out, but Dudley has now pulled out way ahead…**

Joy: And this race is over. Checkered flag is out, Dudley Puppy wins the Coca-Cola 600!

Dudley: Oh my God, I've finally done it! I'VE WON!

Kitty: I always knew you had it in you, Dudley!

Dudley: Aw, thanks, Kitty!

**Dudley Puppy scores his first career win in the Coca-Cola 600, while Ben Tennyson settles for 2****nd****. Nigel Uno gets 3****rd****, Kim Possible places 4****th****, Spongebob SquarePants is 5****th****, Timmy Turner takes 6****th****, Sokka comes in 7****th****, Katara claims 8****th****, Hank Hill finishes 9****th**** and Early Cuyler rounds out the top 10.**

** When everyone else has filed back to the pits, Dudley goes out into the quad-oval and does a multitude of donuts in the grass, much to the delight of the race fans. Dudley then gets out of his car, cheers for a little bit, and then performs a celebratory back flip off the car, inciting a roar from the crowd. From there, he takes the checkered flag and gets back in the car, driving to Victory Lane.**

** After cheering in Victory Lane, Erin Andrews moves in for the interview;**

Erin: Dudley Puppy, just how do you feel, getting your first win at a race as big as this?

Dudley: I really thought Ben had it, to be honest. But for some reason, he just slipped up in the last two turns, and I took advantage. Damn… I knew that I'd be a winner in this Cartoon Cup Series someday, but not at a race as big as this! My thanks go out to the Cat in the Hat, Jack Roush, our sponsors at Fastenal and my crew chief Kitty Kaswell, I wouldn't be here without either of you, and here's to more success like this!

Erin: Great racing, Dudley.

Dudley: Thanks, Erin.

**Dudley Puppy and Kitty Kaswell then have their victory kiss.**

** Coca-Cola 600 race results;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Kim Possible (#51)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**7. Sokka (#38)**

**8. Katara (#34)**

**9. Hank Hill (#95)**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**11. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**12. Frylock (#15)**

**13. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**14. Ed (#27)**

**15. Francine Smith (#36)**

**16. Master Shake (#55)**

**17. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**18. The Warden (#32)**

**19. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**20. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**21. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (1 lap down)**

**22. Butt-Head (#48) (1 lap down)**

**23. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (1 lap down)**

**24. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (1 lap down)**

**25. Kenny McCormick (#39) (1 lap down)**

**26. Grim (#33) (1 lap down)**

**27. Beavis (#24) (1 lap down)**

**28. Aang (#35) (2 laps down)**

**29. William Murderface (#47) (2 laps down)**

**30. Foxxy Love (#98) (2 laps down)**

**31. Meatwad (#56) (2 laps down)**

**32. Applejack (#18) (3 laps down)**

**33. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; engine)**

**34. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Stan Smith (#7) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Peter Griffin (#93) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF: accident)**

**40. Rainbow Dash (#20) (DNF: accident)**

**41. Eric Cartman (#14) (DNF: accident)**

**42. Bender (#22) (DNF: accident)**

**43. Homer Simpson (#83) (DNF; engine)**

**Point standings after 12 of 36 races;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99); 288 points**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 283 points**

**4. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Ed (#27); 282 points**

**6. Ben Tennyson (#10); 281 points**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17); 278 points**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)/Sokka (#38); 276 points**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 275 points**

**12. Katara (#34)/Danny Phantom (#16); 273 points**

**14. Frylock (#15)/Beavis (#24); 272 points**

**16. Hank Hill (#95)/Master Shake (#55); 270 points**

**18. Butt-Head (#48); 269 points**

**19. The Warden (#32); 267 points**

**20. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Stan Smith (#7); 265 points**

**23. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Homer Simpson (#83); 264 points**

**25. Francine Smith (#36)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 263 points**

**27. Kenny McCormick (#39)/William Murderface (#47); 261 points**

**29. Grim (#33)/Aang (#35)/Meatwad (#56)/Peter Griffin (#93); 260 points**

**33. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Edd (#29)/Eddy (#31)/Eric Cartman (#14); 259 points**

**39. Foxxy Love (#98)/Phineas Flynn (#43)/Bender (#22); 258 points**

**42. Applejack (#18); 256 points**

**43. Rainbow Dash (#20); 250 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 138 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 129 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 120 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 117 points**

**Next race; FedEx 400 at Dover International Raceway.**


	26. FedEx 400

** After having gone officially one-third of the way through the season, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now in the First State, Delaware at the Monster Mile, Dover International Speedway. The track is a 1-mile concrete oval. The turns are banked at 24 degrees and the straights are banked at 9 degrees.**

** This race will be known as the FedEx 400; it will be 400 miles run over 400 laps. The skies are clear, so weather will not be an issue here.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**4. William Murderface (#47)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Bender (#22)**

**7. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**8. Grim (#33)**

**9. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**10. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**11. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**12. Applejack (#18)**

**13. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**14. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**15. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**16. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**17. Francine Smith (#36)**

**18. Edd (#29)**

**19. Meatwad (#56)**

**20. Aang (#35)**

**21. Eddy (#31)**

**22. Stan Smith (#7)**

**23. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**24. Butt-Head (#48)**

**25. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**26. Frylock (#15)**

**27. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**28. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**29. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**30. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**31. Master Shake (#55)**

**32. Ed (#27)**

**33. Beavis (#24)**

**34. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**35. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**36. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**37. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**38. The Warden (#32)**

**39. Katara (#34)**

**40. Hank Hill (#95)**

**41. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**42. Sokka (#38)**

**43. Kim Possible (#51)**

**This race will be the last one broadcast on FOX for this season. Let's tune on to them one more time;**

Joy: It's been real fun showing you this NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season. Regrettably, this is the last race that we will be broadcasting this season, but we expect this to have been a great way for us to go out. We're now in Delaware, the First State, at the Monster Mile, Dover International Speedway, for the 13th race on the Cartoon Cup Series schedule, the FedEx 400! Hello again, I'm Mike Joy, with Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip, thanks for having us in for FOX's last race of the season.

McReynolds: You know this used to be a 500-mile race. But there's a reason these mile-long tracks are called bullrings – they wear you down. This may not be a 600-miler like last week's race, but racing at this track takes just as much out of a driver as the Coke 600 does, so expect tempers to run just as high as they would on any short track.

D.W: Speaking of tempers, Larry, we have to take into account the brewing feud between Stan Smith and Danny Phantom. This one could turn more vicious than Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano's rivalry – because even though Ahsoka has a lightsaber, she usually doesn't use it for attack. Stan Smith, on the other hand, has a gun and he's not afraid to use it. Danny has his ghost powers – if either one of these guys catch each other while the other one is off guard, look out!

Joy: Yes indeed, expect to see more of those here today, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the protagonist of the FOX animated sitcom The Critic, Jay Sherman!

Jay: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The engines are fired up for the 13****th**** time this season; the engines warm up, and then the pace car leads the racecars out.**

Joy: The front row is all BK Racing, with Peter Griffin on the pole and Homer Simpson in 2nd. In 3rd is the rookie Daria Morgendorffer, and in 4th is the death metal bass player William Murderface. Row 3 is all Penske Racing, with Hoagie Gilligan in 5th and Bender in 6th. Foxxy Love has her best starting position of the year at 7th, and alongside her is the Grim Reaper himself! Then in 9th is another rookie, the American Dragon, Jake Long. And rounding out the top 10 is Gumball Watterson. D.W. will now get on the radio for one last time this season;

D.W: Stan Smith, it's D.W. from FOX Sports, you got a copy?

Stan: Yes sir!

D.W: Hey, I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about you and Danny Phantom, since if you recall last season, he stole the win from you at this very track by going ghost-

Stan: Did you really need to remind me of that Darrell? Honestly, ever since that happened, I've never really liked him. Now I hate his freakin' guts! I'm tellin' you, if it weren't for his ghost powers, it probably wouldn't have come to this. And if it did, then I would've shot him, he'd be dead, and the Cartoon Cup Series would be much better off!

D.W: I'm gonna… pretend we didn't hear that. In fact, I think we've heard enough. Good luck out there, and I hope you and Danny resolve your issues peacefully.

Stan: (scoff) 10-4, whatever.

…

**The pace car pulls off onto pit road once the pace laps are completed.**

McReynolds: Well this is the last race of the season that we at FOX will be covering, so reach up there and pull those seat belts tight one more time!

**The green flag then turns the field loose.**

D.W: BOOGITY, BOOGITY, BOOGITY! Let's go racin', boys!

**Peter Griffin spins the tires on the start, causing Daria Morgendorffer, Hoagie Gilligan and a few others to stack up behind them. This allows Homer Simpson to pull into the lead.**

Homer: Woo-hoo!

**Bender then slingshots around William Murderface on lap 7 to claim 2****nd**** place. By lap 13, he's caught up to Homer Simpson and is trying very hard to take the lead from him, but Homer refuses to let him have it. This consequently allows his teammate Peter Griffin to catch up with them both...**

** ...and by lap 19, it turns into a three-way battle for the lead. Peter Griffin gets past Bender on lap 25 to move back up to the 2****nd**** spot. Then on lap 33...**

Joy: Peter Griffin to the outside... he is your new race leader!

Homer: D'OH!

Bart: (scoff)

Peter: 'Bout time, don't you think, Lois?

Lois: I suppose so.

**Bender, meanwhile, falls back, falling back out of the top 5 on lap 40.**

** Then on lap 45, Hoagie Gilligan passes Daria Morgendorffer for 3****rd**** place. He then catches up to Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin on lap 51, instigating another three-way battle for the lead. He passes Homer on lap 59, and tries to get past Peter, but Peter holds him off. At the same time, Homer tries to get past Hoagie to get back up to 2****nd****, but he can't pull it off.**

** By lap 64, Daria Morgendorffer has caught up to the top 3 drivers, ensuing a four way battle for the lead. Meanwhile, Peter Griffin is still leading on lap 69 when;**

Joy: And there's trouble in turn 2!

McReynolds: We got two cars crashing – one of 'em is our points leader, Dudley Puppy.

D.W: Yeah, both his car and the #1 of Nigel Uno are totaled.

Dudley: (pounds fist on steering wheel)

Nigel: Why is it that we always crash when we get high up in the point standings? Honestly!

Rachel: Don't worry about it; we still have many races left yet.

**On lap 69, Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford and Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet make hard contact with each other in turn 2. Both cars lose control and spin in, crashing into the inside retaining wall and getting damaged beyond repair. Fortunately, no other cars are involved in the crash, and both Dudley and Nigel leave their cars uninjured.**

** Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Meanwhile, all of the cars enter the pits for their first stops of the race. Everyone gets four tires and fuel. But not everything goes right;**

Joy: Look at that – the #42 of Ahsoka Tano still has the gas can stuck in the fuel tank; they'll have to go back in the pits to get it taken off.

Ahsoka: How the hell could the stupid gas man not've gotten the tank out? Seriously!

Anakin: Let it go, Snips. Holding a pointless grudge is not the Jedi way.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**The gas man on Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet fails to get the gas can out in time, and so it remains stuck in the car's fuel tank going out of the pits; Ahsoka will have to go back in the pits so that it can be taken out. Meanwhile, here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**3. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**5. Grim (#33)**

**6. Bender (#22)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**8. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**9. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**The race is restarted on lap 75.**

** William Murderface falls out of the top 10 on lap 80.**

** Rainbow Dash enters the top 5 on lap 86. She's up to 3****rd**** on lap 90 and 2****nd**** on lap 97. By lap 102 she's caught up to the race leader, Peter Griffin, but Peter slams the door on her every time she tries to make a move.**

** By lap 110 Homer Simpson, having just gotten back up to 3****rd****, catches up with them both, ensuing another three-way battle for the lead. But then on lap 116…**

Joy: And there goes Rainbow Dash into the lead!

Homer: D'OH!

Rainbow Dash: Finally, we're leading again!

Fluttershy: Yay.

**Meanwhile, on lap 125, Grim falls out of the top 10.**

** As Rainbow Dash pulls away from the field, Bender, on lap 133, moves up to 2****nd**** place. He then catches up to Rainbow Dash on lap 139. Then on lap 145;**

Joy: And there's a car in the wall in turn 4!

McReynolds: That's Ahsoka Tano! We saw here earlier with the gas can stuck in her car – now she's in the wall.

D.W: Looked like she cut a tire there.

…

Ahsoka: The left-rear tire went down and I went in the wall.

Anakin: 10-4. Like I said before, don't dwell on misfortune.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**On lap 145, Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet cuts the left-rear tire going into turn 1, causing it to spin around head-on into the outside retaining wall. The car is totaled, but everyone gets around it and Ahsoka gets out unhurt.**

** Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 25****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**3. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**4. Bender (#22)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**7. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**8. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Eddy (#31)**

**The restart occurs on lap 150. Rainbow Dash pulls away while Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin duke it out for 2****nd****.**

**On lap 158, Applejack moves up into the top 10.**

** By lap 163, Hoagie P. Gilligan has caught up with Homer and Peter; he passes Homer on lap 169 and gets by Peter on lap 175. Meanwhile, on lap 180, Bender falls back out of the top 5.**

** By lap 187, Hoagie Gilligan is right on Rainbow Dash's rear bumper… then on lap 195 he manages to get his front bumper past Rainbow Dash's rear bumper;**

Tommy: Inside, inside… and you're clear!

Wally: Looks like you're leading this thing, mate!

Hoagie: 10-4, awesome!

**Further back, Daria Morgendorffer, on lap 199 moves up to 3****rd**** place. She then passes Rainbow Dash for 2****nd**** on lap 205. Then on lap 212;**

Joy: Smoke on the frontstretch – Spongebob SquarePants has blown his engine.

…

McReynolds: And there goes Ed into the wall on the backstretch!

D.W: The #27 is hard into the wall – he is totaled.

**Two unrelated incidents occur on lap 212; Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet blows its engine and Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet is put in the inside wall on the backstretch by the #10 of Ben Tennyson. Spongebob limps his car back to the garage while Ed's car has to be towed away.**

** Aang's #35 CSX Transportation Ford, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Bender (#22)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**9. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 218. Hoagie P. Gilligan and Daria Morgendorffer both pull away from the field; Daria manages to gain the lead on lap 224, but Hoagie sticks with her.**

**Eddy, meanwhile, moves up into the top 5 on lap 229.**

**Then on lap 236, Rainbow Dash moves back up to 2****nd**** place. She catches up to Daria Morgendorffer on lap 243, but can't take the lead.**

** And on lap 250, Eddy is up to 3****rd****. He's right on top of Rainbow Dash and Daria by lap 255, making it a three-way battle. Eddy passes Rainbow Dash on lap 261, and then on lap 268, he manages to get his front end past Daria's rear end;**

Eddy: Am I leading?

Rolf: You are in the lead, loudmouthed Ed-boy.

Eddy: Excellent…

**Eddy's teammate Edd moves into the top 5 on lap 274.**

** On lap 279;**

Joy: And we have another blown engine on the racetrack – the #10 of Ben Tennyson!

Ben: Another engine gone? How come our engines are blowing up while Cartman and Kenny are getting up scot-free?

Gwen: Don't take this out on them, Ben. Just get back in the garage and we'll look into that later.

Ben: (sigh) 10-4.

**On lap 279, Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet blows its engine. As the caution comes out, Ben coasts into the pits and back into the garage, retiring from the race.**

** Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**5. Edd (#29)**

**6. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**9. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

**The race restarts on lap 285.**

** Edd is up to the 3****rd**** position on lap 293, and up to 2****nd**** on lap 300. Shortly after that, Edd catches up to Eddy, and the two teammates/friends start battling it out with full force – neither one going easy on the other.**

Edd: I like you, Eddy, but you will not be purloining the victory from me!

Eddy: That checkered flag will be mine, Sockhead!

**Little do they know that their little battle is slowly, but surely allowing Rainbow Dash to catch up with them...**

** ...and by lap 310, the battle for the lead once again becomes a threesome. As hard as Rainbow Dash tries to pass Edd, he manages to hold her off. He does even more than that on lap 318;**

D.W: Here comes Double D, he is your new race leader!

Edd: I commend your efforts, Eddy, but I'll be the one headed to Victory Lane today!

**On lap 324, Applejack breaks into the top 5.**

** On lap 330;**

Joy: Caution is out for debris on the racetrack.

McReynolds: It's on the backstretch – it looks like a piece of a suspension.

D.W: And we're being told that it's from the #17 of Timmy Turner; he has broke the suspension.

Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda! I wish the suspension was fixed!

...

Joy: Wait, but suddenly the car's driving like it's gone back to normal somehow!

McReynolds: Maybe that #17 team has some sort of weird powers or something...?

Timmy: Hey, thanks, you guys.

Wanda: No problem, sport!

**On lap 330, Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford breaks the suspension and the caution comes out for debris. However, upon Timmy Turner's wish, Cosmo and Wanda fix the car up with their fairy magic, and just like that, the car is up and running again.**

** Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars then make their last pit stops of the race;**

Joy: Stan Smith – TOO FAST ENTERING PIT ROAD!

Stan: Are you shittin' me?

Roger: Hey, nothing I can do about it. You're a CIA agent, you should be better than that.

Stan: Ugh!

**Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Eddy (#31)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**7. Bender (#22)**

**8. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**10. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**The race restarts on lap 333. Edd and Eddy pull way ahead of the field, leaving things between the two of them for the moment.**

** Homer Simpson, meanwhile, manages to get back up to 3****rd**** place on lap 341. Peter Griffin then makes it back into the top 5 on lap 348, and up to 4****th**** on lap 354.**

** On lap 361, Kim Possible falls off the pace.**

Kim: Dammit, I think we've lost the brakes.

Ron: (facepalm) Son of a bitch! Better bring it in, Kimmy.

Kim: (sigh) 10-4.

**Applejack then gets up to 3****rd**** place on lap 369, and she catches up to Edd and Eddy on lap 375. She briefly gains the lead on lap 380, but Edd and Eddy surge back by her on lap 386, and she falls back again. Edd then takes the lead on lap 394.**

** The white flag flies on lap 400; Eddy is right on Edd's rear bumper. He tries and tries, but by the time they're in the last two turns, Edd is too far ahead.**

Joy: Eddy's run out of time – the checkered is out and Edd wins the FedEx 400!

Nazz: Yay, you did it, Double D! I'm so proud of you! (blows kiss)

Edd: Hey, don't just submit all the credit to me.

Eddy: Damn! Sockhead really is better at driving than he is at real sports!

Rolf: As always, the brainy Ed-boy outsmarts us.

**Edd wins the FedEx 400, while Eddy settles for 2****nd****. Rainbow Dash comes in 3****rd****, Applejack is 4****th****, Peter Griffin gets 5****th****, Homer Simpson takes 6****th****, Eric Cartman places 7****th****, Bender claims 8****th****, Hoagie P. Gilligan places 9****th**** and Daria Morgendorffer rounds out the top 10.**

** Edd comes back around to the start/finish line to claim the checkered flag – but before he can, Eddy pulls alongside in his racecar. Hoping to acknowledge is best friend's win graciously (having been humbled a lot by racing in this sport), he offers Edd his hand – and Edd takes it.**

Eddy: That was awesome driving, Sockhead!

Edd: Why thank you, Eddy.

**Edd then finds himself cheering in Victory Lane – after taking a swig of champagne, FOX's Matt Yocum moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Edd, take us through that battle for the win with Eddy – just what all was going through your head?

Edd: I was honestly concerned that he would wreck me – getting wrecked by my own friend and teammate would not fly well would Richard Childress. Now I'm very cowardice and weak in normal athletic team sports, but being in a NASCAR stock car really changes my mindset and demeanor, and I think that's what helped me hold off Eddy. That said, I need to thank Budweiser, Chevrolet, Richard Childress Racing and of course my lovely Nazz for all the support, and I look forward to what the rest of the season brings for us.

** With that interview out of the way, Edd and Nazz kiss.**

** FedEx 400 race results;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Eddy (#31)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**6. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**7. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**11. William Murderface (#47)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**14. Grim (#33)**

**15. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**16. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**17. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**18. Butt-Head (#48)**

**19. Meatwad (#56)**

**20. Francine Smith (#36)**

**21. Beavis (#24) (1 lap down)**

**22. Kenny McCormick (#39) (1 lap down)**

**23. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (1 lap down)**

**24. Danny Phantom (#16) (1 lap down)**

**25. Stan Smith (#7) (1 lap down)**

**26. Timmy Turner (#17) (2 laps down)**

**27. Master Shake (#55) (2 laps down)**

**28. Aang (#35) (2 laps down)**

**29. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (2 laps down)**

**30. Frylock (#15) (3 laps down)**

**31. The Warden (#32) (3 laps down) **

**32. Hank Hill (#95) (3 laps down)**

**33. Early Cuyler (#21) (4 laps down)**

**34. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (4 laps down)**

**35. Sokka (#38) (5 laps down)**

**36. Katara (#34) (6 laps down)**

**37. Kim Possible (#51) (DNF; brakes)**

**38. Ben Tennyson (#10) (DNF; engine)**

**39. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Nigel Uno (#1) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Dudley Puppy (#99) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 13 of 36 races;**

**1. Edd (#29); 307 points**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83); 303 points**

**3. Eddy (#31); 301 points**

**4. Peter Griffin (#93); 300 points**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 299 points**

**6. Applejack (#18); 297 points**

**7. Eric Cartman (#14)/Timmy Turner (#17); 296 points**

**9. Butt-Head (#48)/Beavis (#24); 295 points**

**11. Bender (#22)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/William Murderface (#47); 294 points**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Danny Phantom (#16); 293 points**

**16. Rainbow Dash (#20); 292 points**

**17. Gumball Watterson (#87); 291 points**

**18. Grim (#33)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 290 points**

**20. Foxxy Love (#98)/Dudley Puppy (#99); 289 points**

**22. Francine Smith (#36)/Master Shake (#55)/Ben Tennyson (#10)/Ed (#27); 287 points**

**26. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Frylock (#15)/Early Cuyler (#21)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 286 points**

**33. Meatwad (#56)/Sokka (#38)/Nigel Uno (#1); 285 points**

**36. Stan Smith (#7); 284 points**

**37. Kenny McCormick (#39)/Kim Possible (#51); 283 points**

**39. Hank Hill (#95)/Katara (#34); 282 points**

**41. The Warden (#32); 280 points**

**42. Aang (#35); 276 points**

**43. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 275 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 145 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 140 points**

**3. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 128 points**

**4. Jake Long [R] (#30); 126 points**

**Next race; Party in the Poconos 400 at Pocono Raceway.**


	27. Stalkers And Poker

This next side story takes place in Dover, Delaware, on the evening after the FedEx 400.

We first focus on the following characters; May Kanker, Marie Kanker and Lee Kanker. None of these characters are participating in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, but they're existence should nevertheless be acknowledged, as they all have had insanely huge crushes on Ed, Edd n Eddy – and still do to this day.

They have, without the Eds' knowledge, been attending all of the NASCAR races to cheer the Eds on, and were all hysterically happy (Marie in particular) when Edd won the FedEx 400 earlier today. Right now, the Kanker sisters are on their way to the motel that Edd is believed to be staying at…

"Ooh, I can't wait until we meet Double D!" Marie says in an excited state. "I'm gonna give him such a big kiss!"

"Man, I hope Eddy is there, too," Lee adds. "He same close to winning the thing!"

"Yeah, but my boyfriend beat yours," Marie snaps. "Which means my boyfriend is better!"

"Your boyfriend is a scrawny geek!" Lee shouts.

"Yeah, call me back when your boyfriend is the points leader," Marie retorts.

"Well I wish Ed is there, too," May says longingly. "I'm gonna kiss him so hard!"

"Pfft! He crashed out of the race and now he's near the bottom of the standings," Marie scoffs. May simply sighs, ending the argument.

…

In time, the Kankers arrive at the motel they have been looking for. They go right up the front desk, where Marie asks, "Hey, is there anyone named Edd around here?"

"Hmmm, I believe there may be in the lounge-"

Without even a thank-you, the Kankers all make a mad dash for the lounge. They find it without little problem and barge right in to find Edd along with his girlfriend Nazz, as well as Steve Smith (crew chief of the #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet) Eric Cartman (driver of the #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet) and Bender (driver of the #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford), whom Edd had invited over for a game of poker. But the Kankers pay no heed to Steve, Bender, or Cartman's presence…

"IT'S MY BOYFRIEND!" Marie runs right up Edd and tries to give him a big kiss on the lips, but Edd tries his hardest to push her away. Marie, however, remains unfazed, and keeps on trying, getting closer and closer to Edd's lips…

But she is suddenly pulled away by the combined force of Nazz, Cartman, Bender and Steve. "Hey what gives?" Lee asks. Are you throwing us out?"

"Good heavens, no, ladies," replies Edd. "Security will do that. What baffles me is how in Sam Hill you even found our exact location, but, you know, whatever."

"You can't keep us apart, Double D!" Marie makes another mad attempt to kiss Edd, but Nazz manages to single-handedly cut her off.

"Hey, Double D already has a girlfriend – me!" Nazz yells. "And you girls need to beat it and find yourself some boys willing to stoop to your level before we really get mad!"

By sheer dumb luck, a motel security guard happened to be walking by when he overhears the commotion. He walks into the lounge and says to Nazz, "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Damn right there is!" Nazz replies. Pointing at the Kankers, she says, "These white-trash whores just barged in here uninvited and tried to get their dirty hands on my boyfriend! Get them the hell out of here now!"

"Hey, get your hands off us!" Without saying the word, the security guard grabs the Kankers all by the scruff of the neck and starts to drag them out of the building. All of the Kankers attempts to get out of the hold are in vain, as the guard's strength is way too much for them. All the while, Marie cries out, "I'll win you over yet, Double D…!"

"What the hell was that all about?" Steve asks Edd.

"Those were some girls who would obsessively stalk me and my friends," Edd replies.

"Well, if you ask me, I think Ed and Eddy ought to give those skanks a chance," Cartman chips in. "Besides, can they really do any better?"

"But you're in the clear, man," Bender adds. "Your girlfriend seems much better than those no-good sluts – then again, I may take a crack at 'em sometime!"

"Anyway," Edd says, trying to change the topic, "I think we can get back to our little game now. It is the last betting round, and I believe it's Cartman's turn to place a bet."

"Five chips says I win this hand bitches!" proclaims Cartman.

"Well I'm feeling lucky," replies Steve, "so I'll bet ten chips on this one!"

"Heh heh, yeah, I'll feel lucky when I bang your mom tonight, sucker!" Bender laughs.

"That was very impolite, Bender!" Edd jabs. "Now place your bet, already!"

"Fine, I'll bet seven," grumbles Bender.

"Very well, then, I'll bet four chips," says Edd.

"That bet's weaker than your biceps!" laughs Cartman.

"You're one to talk, fatass!" Bender jabs.

"Uh, gentlemen, can we cease the language at least for one moment so that we can reveal our hands?" Edd says. Without another word, everyone then reveals their poker hands; Bender's hand is a one pair - it has a pair of sevens, a nine and a five. Steve's hand is a three of a kind, with three eights, a ten and a jack. Edd's hand is a straight, with a jack, a ten, a nine, an eight and a seven. And Cartman reveals the winning hand – a full house, with three queens, a six and a four.

"Yes! Yes! I win this hand!" Cartman declares as he takes the total of twenty-six chips from the pot. "In your fuckin' face, fuckwads!"

"That was a great hand," Edd acknowledges, "but that outburst was highly uncalled for."

"Well I still won that hand," Cartman snaps.

"Yes, well, we seem to be at the very last hand, now," Edd explains. I have six chips left, Steve has nine, Bender has five, and Cartman has thirty. I think it's only fair that we all bet all of our chips on this hand – whoever wins the hand wins the game. How's that?

"Sounds alright to me," Steve shrugs.

"I'm game," says Bender.

"Oh, I'm so gonna win this game!" declares Cartman.

"Then reveal your hands, gentlemen!" says Edd.

And everyone reveals their hands. Cartman's hand is a flush, with a king, ten, three, seven and five, all of hearts. Bender's hand is three of a kind, with three fives, along with a nine and a four. Steve's hand is four of a kind, with four twos and a three. And Edd's hand is a royal flush, with an ace, a king, a queen, a jack and a ten, all of spades. This is the most difficult highest ranking hand in poker, and thus Edd wins the game.

"I commend your efforts, gentlemen," Edd beams, "but I, Eddward, have emerged victorious!"

"Damn, you do have one hell of a poker face!" Steve observes.

"Yeah, but it's not as hot as Cartman's mom's ass!" Bender laughs.

"Ha ha ha, very funny, Bender," Edd says sarcastically as he packs up all the playing cards and poker chips, which he brought himself.

Once outside the motel lobby, Cartman says to Edd, "You know, Double D, I thought you were just some uptight geek, kind of like Steve."

"Hey!" Steve protests.

"But you're actually a pretty cool guy," Bender finishes. "Maybe it's the alcohol in my system or maybe it's just because you beat us all in poker, I don't know.

"Well, aside from your rather vulgar demeanors," Edd notes, "you're all still pretty enjoyable to hang out with yourselves. It would be pretty exhilarating to meet up with you gentlemen again sometime."

"But don't expect us to be as friendly on the track!" Steve smirks. "Next week at Pocono, my mom will crush you!"

"Just like I crushed her last night!" Bender chuckles.

"Hey, shut up!" Steve snaps.

"Alright, save the heat for the racetrack, gentlemen," Edd says, so as to stop a fight from occurring. "I trust we'll all be friends off the track. Is that cool?"

"Oh, hell yeah!" Bender smiles. "Pound it!"

And so with that, Edd fist-bumps Bender, shakes Cartman's hand and man-hugs Steve. They all then take their leave, with Edd waving them good-bye, saying, "I'll see you next week at Pocono, gentlemen.

Shortly afterwards, Edd and Nazz make their way back into their motel room. Edd takes off his shoes and lies down on the bed with a smile on his face. Heaving a sigh of contentment, he says, "Well that was most invigorating, eh, Nazz?"

Nazz looks at Edd with a chuckle, and says with a lecherous smile, "You know, the invigoration doesn't have to end there, heh heh heh!"

Edd, knowing what she's propositioning, blushes as his smile turns sheepish. Before he can think any more of it, Nazz then crawls up onto the bed and on top of Edd, where she lays a hard lip-lock on him. Edd happily returns the gesture by doing some of the work himself, and getting both himself and Nazz more in the romantic mood. Before long, both their shirts come off and the two lock their topless bodies together as they bring their tongues into the makeout session…


	28. Party in the Poconos 400

** For the fourteenth race of the season, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is in northeastern Pennsylvania at one of the most unique tracks on the NASCAR circuit, Pocono Raceway.**

**What makes this one of the most unique tracks on the circuit is that it is not an oval – it's a triangle! It is 2.5 miles long, to be exact. The frontstretch is 3,740 feet long – the longest in NASCAR! This leads into the sharp 14-degree banked Turn 1. From there, it's a 3,055-foot long backstretch before going into Turn 2, a 90-degree left-hander, banked at 9 degrees and also referred to as the Tunnel Turn. That empties into a 1,780-foot long short chute, which leads into a sharp 6-degree turn before heading back on the giant frontstretch, thus completing a lap.**

**This race will be known as the Party in the Poconos 400. It will be 400 miles long, run over 160 laps. The weather is overcast, but no rain is expected.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Aang (#35)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Meatwad (#56)**

**6. Katara (#34)**

**7. Hank Hill (#95)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**11. The Warden (#32)**

**12. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**13. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**14. Frylock (#15)**

**15. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**16. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**17. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**18. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**19. Master Shake (#55)**

**20. Ed (#27)**

**21. Francine Smith (#36)**

**22. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**23. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**24. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**25. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**26. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**27. Beavis (#24)**

**28. Butt-Head (#48)**

**29. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**30. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**31. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**32. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**33. Eddy (#31)**

**34. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**35. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**36. Edd (#29)**

**37. William Murderface (#47)**

**38. Applejack (#18)**

**39. Bender (#22)**

**40. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**41. Grim (#33)**

**42. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**43. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**The next six races will be broadcast on TNT. Tuning onto them now;**

Adam Alexander: Welcome to the NASCAR on TNT Summer Series! We will be bringing you full coverage of the next six races in this 2013 NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season! And what a way for us to kick things off, here at none other than the Tricky Triangle, Pocono Raceway. Hello again everyone, I'm Adam Alexander, along with Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty, thanks for having us in for the race. Wally, Kyle, what do you like going into this part of the season?

Wally: What really makes me want to scream like a retarded fangirl is the point standings. They've been super-close all season long – right now, there are only 32 points separating first place from last place! I've don't think we've ever seen anything close to that ever in the history of this sport. And the stuff these characters will do to each other; I don't think it knows any limits!

Petty: Yeah, particularly with the heated rivalries between Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano, and between Danny Phantom and Stan Smith. Between them, we've seen constant wrecking of each other, lightsabers, handguns and ghosting! To add to that, this is another really tough track, what with its sheer length and the number it does on your car's parts, especially with the heavy braking and downshifting going into the turns. Wonder what that's gonna lead to today.

Alexander: We may very well find out, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, one of the scariest British cartoon characters of the 80's, Count Duckula!

Duckula: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**Just like they always have, the cars all rev up their 865 hp engines. Once the engines are fully warmed up and ready to go, the pace car leads them all out.**

Alexander: On the pole this week is none other than the airbender Aang, and alongside him in 2nd is Britain's own Nigel Uno. Kenny McCormick, you remarkably hasn't died since the Sprint Unlimited is 3rd, and in 4th, representing the CIA, is Stan Smith. The piece of meat Meatwad will roll out in 5th, and starting 6th is the waterbender Katara. In 7th, representing the state of Texas, is Hank Hill. Starting 8th is the secret agent Kim Possible. Sokka will roll out in 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is the rookie Hank Venture. And as you look through the rest of the starting grid on your screen, Kyle Petty will contact one of our drivers over the radio;

Petty: Hey Kenny McCormick, it's Kyle Petty from TNT, you got me?

Kenny: Mm-pfm.

Petty: Well, you've done the impossible – you've gone through the first third of the season without a fatality. And now you're starting 4th at Pocono – how are you feelin' right now?

Kenny: Mmm-pfmm pfff mmmm pfmfpmf mmffpppfm mfpfm. Ffffmmm, pppfff mpfmpfm mmm pppp fff mmmmmm, fffpmfpmp fmpfmfpm, mmmfpmf mpffpmf m.

Petty: So I guess you have been handling the track pretty well. What about the competition?

Kenny: Ppppppp. Fffffffffff mmmmmmm mfpmfpfmf ppppffmm, ffpppmfpmfpf pmfpfmppp fmp.

Petty: I'm sure they will. Well thanks for speaking with us, and good luck out there.

Kenny: Mm-pfm, ffmmpp.

**The pace car pulls onto pit road after completing the pace laps. The racecars continue to creep forward double-file up the long front straightaway, and then the green flag waves.**

Alexander: There's the green flag, and we are underway in Pocono!

**At the start of the race, Nigel Uno manages to get the jump on Aang, and takes the lead going into turn 1.**

Rachel: Great start there, Nigel! (blows kiss)

Nigel: Thanks, Rach.

**The Warden moves up into the top 10 on lap 4.**

** Kenny McCormick moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 7. He runs down Nigel Uno, little-by-little, until lap 11, when he's right on top of him. Nigel manages to hold off Kenny for awhile, aggressively blocking every shot he makes at the lead. Then on lap 14...**

Alexander: Oh, and Nigel Uno just got really loose in the Tunnel Turn – he almost spun out!

Dallenbach: And that gave Kenny McCormick the opening he needed – he is your new race leader.

Wendy: You're clear of the #1 car – he unfortunately didn't crash, but you're in the lead, Kenny!

Kenny: Mm-pfm.

**Nigel Uno starts to fall back. On lap 17, Meatwad takes over 2****nd**** place, and starts to catch up with Kenny McCormick.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 19, Stan Smith falls out of the top 5.**

** By lap 23, Meatwad has caught up to Kenny McCormick – however he can't get past him regardless of what line he runs or what moves he makes. And on lap 26, while Kenny continues to lead, this happens;**

Alexander: And we got trouble! Car in the wall, turn 1!

Dallenbach: Caution is out for the #29 of Edd – he has spun and smacked the turn 1 wall hard!

Nazz: What happened, Double D?

Edd: Hmmm, the car's brakes felt like they gave out on us – I couldn't slow down one bit whilst entering the corner.

Nazz: Well are you okay, at least?

Edd: Our racing vehicle appears to have been trashed, but I believe that I am unscathed.

**On lap 26, Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet loses its brakes; Edd cannot slow down going into turn 1, and he spins around and goes hard into the outside retaining wall, trashing the car. Miraculously, however, Edd gets out unhurt and is taken to the infield care center as the wreckage is being cleared.**

** Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford, running 1 lap down in 39****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Then, all the other cars go into the pits for the first time in this race – everyone takes four tires and fuel.**

Alexander: We're hearing that Eddy was too fast exiting pit road! He'll have to do a drive-thru penalty.

Eddy: Are you serious? Even if I was speeding, I had to have only been doing like a mile an hour over the limit!

Rolf: Not a thing we can do about it, second-born Ed-boy. Just serve the drive-thru.

Eddy: (sigh)

**Eddy is caught speeding on pit road exit, and will have to do a drive-thru penalty. Meanwhile, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**2. Meatwad (#56)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Aang (#35)**

**5. Katara (#34)**

**6. Sokka (#38)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Hank Hill (#95)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**The race is restarted on lap 30. Kenny McCormick gets the jump on the rest of the field. Then on lap 33, Nigel Uno takes 2****nd**** place from Meatwad.**

**Hank Hill falls out of the top 10 on lap 36.**

** Aang, on lap 38, then moves up to 3****rd**** place on lap 38, and by lap 42 he catches up with Nigel Uno to try and take 2****nd**** place. Nigel holds him off, though, allowing Kenny McCormick to pull away more.**

** Then on lap 45, while going down the backstretch, Aang starts waving his hand around in a way that seems to make no sense…**

Alexander: Look at the #35 car!

Dallenbach: It just suddenly picked up a huge burst of speed on the backstretch, and now Aang has 2nd place.

Petty: That's incredible.

Ty Lee: Were you airbending just then?

Aang: Yes I was.

Ty Lee: Well it worked out great! Keep it up!

**On lap 45, Aang uses his airbending powers to force the air in front of his car out of the way, thus getting rid of all the air resistance and giving a car a real big speed boost, enabling Aang to get around Nigel Uno and take 2****nd**** place.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 49, Aang's teammate and girlfriend Katara falls out of the top 5.**

** And Aang, by lap 54, has caught up with Kenny McCormick and starts to go for the lead. But then on lap 58…**

Alexander: And caution is out for smoke and debris on the racetrack.

Petty: It's coming from the #83. Homer Simpson has blown out his engine.

Homer: D'OH!

Marge: (sigh) Looks like our race is over.

Bart: (under his breath) Serves both of you bastards right.

Homer: Why, you LITTLE…!

**On lap 58, Homer Simpson's #83 Burger King Toyota blows its engine. Homer reluctantly coasts his car onto pit road and into the garage, and is forced to withdraw from the event.**

** Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 35****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Then, the other cars get four tires and fuel in the pits. This time, no penalties or other mishaps occur. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**2. Aang (#35)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Sokka (#38)**

**5. Meatwad (#56)**

**6. Katara (#34)**

**7. Kim Possible (#51)**

**8. The Warden (#32)**

**9. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**The restart occurs on lap 62. Both Aang and Kenny McCormick pull out ahead from the rest of the field, dueling viciously for the lead. On lap 65, Aang manages to clear Kenny going out of turn 3 to take the lead.**

Aang: 'Bout time, don't you think, guys?

Ty Lee: I'll say!

Toph: Keep it up, Aang!

**Meanwhile, on lap 69, Stan Smith falls out of the top 10.**

** Then, on lap 71, Nigel Uno passes Kenny McCormick to retake 2****nd**** place. He catches up to Aang on lap 75, but cannot make the move on him, as Aang slams the door on him every time.**

Nigel: Jesus Christ, I can't get by this pest! He's really wearing me out!

Monty: Well in that case, I'd fall back a bit and take a breather if I were you. This race is only about half-over anyways.

Nigel: 10-4, Dad.

**Nigel Uno falls back a little bit on lap 78 to catch his breath.**

** On lap 80, Meatwad gets by Kenny McCormick for 3****rd**** and starts to run down Nigel Uno for 2****nd****.**

** Around this time, a really heated confrontation is going on further back in the pack. On lap 83, Danny Phantom passes his recurring rival Stan Smith for the 11****th**** spot. This gets Stan angry, which in turn makes him determined to take the 11****th**** spot back. But by lap 87, his patience wears out, and while they're in the short chute, Stan draws his 9mm glock…**

Alexander: Big trouble! Turn 3!

Petty: Danny Phantom has crashed into the turn 3 wall – that car is totaled!

Dallenbach: Looks like Stan Smith may've shot him… again.

Alexander: Yeah, you can see the fluid leaking out of the #16 car-

Dallenbach: That looks like – it is. He hit the differential, and now it is leaking fluid all over the track!

Danny: UURRRGHH! (pounds fist) I'm gonna kill that fascist pig one of these days!

Sam: Calm down, Danny! Perhaps we'll get 'em next week, preferably by beating him on the track.

Danny: Yeah, as in beat his ugly face in!

**On lap 87, Stan Smith shoots Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford right in the differential. This causes Danny's car to tally lose control, to where it runs head-on into the outside wall in turn 3. The front end of the car is ruined, and the car continues to leak differential fluid, which spills out all over the track. As Danny gets out of the car and is transported to the infield care center, the race is red-flagged to allows track crews time to safely clear the wreckage and clean up the fluid on the track.**

…

** Eventually, the fluid is vacuumed up and the race is brought underway again under caution.**

** Gumball Watterson's #87 AM FM Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 32****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** Then the other cars get four tires and fuel in the pits once again.**

Alexander: Look at the #93 of Peter Griffin – they have left the jack stuck in the side of his car, and he'll have to go back in to get it taken out.

Peter: Oh c'mon, Lois! Can't you keep our damn pit crew in line?

Lois: Hey, it's not my fault! Whatever, just bring her in and we'll get that jack taken out.

Peter: (sigh) 10-4.

**The pit crew of Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota doesn't get the jack out in time, and it is left stuck in the car as Peter exits his pit stall. He is forced to go back in the pits to have it taken out.**

** Meanwhile, here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Aang (#35)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Meatwad (#56)**

**4. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**5. Kim Possible (#51)**

**6. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**7. Katara (#34)**

**8. Sokka (#38)**

**9. The Warden (#32)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 92.**

** Rainbow Dash enters the top 10 on lap 96.**

** Meatwad passes Nigel Uno for 2****nd**** place on lap 99. By lap 102 he has caught up to Kenny McCormick. Then on lap 104…**

Alexander: Kenny McCormick got really loose in turn 2! Meatwad is your new race leader!

Meatwad: Alright! I'm so gonna win this fuckin' thing!

Kenny: Mmm-pfm!

**On lap 108, Abigail Lincoln finds her way into the top 5.**

** Rainbow Dash enters the top 10 on lap 111, with Ahsoka Tano biting at her heels. Ahsoka tries to take away the 10****th**** spot, but Rainbow Dash holds her off every time, gradually building up the anger inside Ahsoka to the point where on lap 116, this happens;**

Alexander: OH, AND RAINBOW DASH IS AIRBORNE!

Dallenbach: She's flipping violently down the back straightaway, side-over-side, end-over-end… and she comes to a stop at the inside guardrail.

Petty: That's incredible – I don't think there was any contact. She just spontaneously went into the air!

Rainbow Dash: THAT JEDI ALMOST KILLED ME! ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M SO GONNA KILL HER!

Fluttershy: Well at least you're okay.

Anakin: Ahsoka! That was going way too far!

Ahsoka: …

**On lap 116, Ahsoka Tano uses her Force powers on Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota, causing it to go airborne, flipping violently down the backstretch before coming to a stop in the infield by the guardrail. Rainbow Dash is shaken, but unhurt as she angrily exits the wreckage.**

** Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Meatwad (#56)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Aang (#35)**

**4. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Sokka (#38)**

**7. The Warden (#32)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Stan Smith (#7)**

**10. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**The race is restarted once again on lap 120.**

** On lap 124;**

Alexander: And we have a car off the pace – it's the #31 of Eddy.

Eddy: Son of a bitch – the transmission just broke!

Rolf: So that is the hand that fate deals to us? (sigh) Looks like the sun has set on our race.

Eddy: God, this sucks!

**On lap 124, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet breaks its transmission. Eddy is thusly forced to retreat onto pit road and into the garage, retiring from the race.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 127, Kenny McCormick takes the lead back from Meatwad.**

Wendy: You're in the lead again, Kenny.

Kenny: Mmm-pfm.

**Then on lap 130, Nigel Uno is up to 3****rd**** place. He then gets back up to 2****nd**** on lap 134.**

** On lap 138…**

Alexander: And we have two cars crashing in turn 2!

Petty: That is the #93 of Peter Griffin and the #2 of Hoagie Gilligan. They've both crashed.

Dallenbach: And we have a caution.

…

**On lap 138, Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota and Hoagie Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Ford make hard contact in turn 2, causing them both to lose control and crash into the outside wall, and subsequently, each other. Neither car is able to continue, but Peter and Hoagie are uninjured.**

** William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baked Beans Toyota, running 1 lap down in 29****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The cars then enter the pits to make their last pit stops of the race. Everyone takes four tires and fuel. All goes well, and here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Meatwad (#56)**

**4. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**5. Aang (#35)**

**6. The Warden (#32)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**9. Kim Possible (#51)**

**10. Hank Hill (#95)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 143. Kenny McCormick and Nigel Uno both get the jump on the rest of the field as they start to duel for the win.**

** On lap 145, Abigail Lincoln gets up to 3****rd**** place. Then by lap 149 she catches up with both Kenny and Nigel.**

** Then on lap 152, Nigel and Abigail get together bumper-to-bumper on the front straightaway…**

Alexander: And get a load of that! The #1 ad #5 cars have hooked up, and they both just zoomed right by the #39 of Kenny McCormick! The race may very well come down to Nigel Uno and Abigail Lincoln!

Nigel: This race is mine now!

Abigail: I may have helped you past Kenny, Nigel, but I'm winning this thing!

…

** The white flag flies on lap 160. Nigel Uno is leading, while Abigail Lincoln crawls up his tailpipe. She tries to make a move to the inside going through turn 1, but Nigel gets a good enough run to retain the lead. She then manages to get alongside Nigel for a second in turn 2, but Nigel gets the better run and stays in the lead. Then in turn 3..**

Alexander: Oh, and Abigail Lincoln almost spun out in turn 3!

Abigail: Dammit!

Dallenbach: She's saved it, but it just cost her the race.

Alexander: Checkered flag is out, and Nigel Uno will win the Party in the Poconos 400!

Nigel: YES! Finally, we've won one this season!

Rachel: I'm proud of you, Nigel! (blows kiss)

Nigel: (chuckle)

**Nigel Uno wins the Party in the Poconos 400, while his friend Abigail Lincoln settles for 2****nd****. Kenny McCormick claims 3****rd****, Meatwad finishes 4****th****, The Warden is 5****th****, Aang gets 6****th****, Stan Smith places 7****th****, Kim Possible comes in 8****th****, Ahsoka Tano takes 9****th**** and Hank Venture rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing a very long burnout down the front straightaway, Nigel Uno pulls into victory, where he cheers for the win amidst the spewing champagne and flying confetti. TNT pit reporter Ralph Shaheen then move in for the interview.**

Shaheen: Nigel Uno, your first win of the season; take us through those last few laps.

Nigel: Well Kenny was a real pain in the arse throughout the whole thing, but then my friend Abby got us both past them, and then me and her went at it. I guess, at the end, it was sheer dumb luck, what with how she got loose in the last turn. Then again, maybe I would've held her off anyway, I don't know. Either way, I'm really grateful for this win, and I look forward to maybe getting into the Chase again this time around.

Shaheen: Well great job out there, Nigel.

Nigel: Thanks.

Rachel: Well done, winner! (kisses Nigel hard)

…

**Party in the Poconos 400 race results;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**2. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**4. Meatwad (#56)**

**5. The Warden (#32)**

**6. Aang (#35)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**10. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**11. Hank Hill (#95)**

**12. Katara (#34)**

**13. Sokka (#38)**

**14. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**15. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**16. Frylock (#15)**

**17. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**18. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**19. Ed (#27)**

**20. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**21. Master Shake (#55)**

**22. Francine Smith (#36)**

**23. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**24. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**25. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**26. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**27. Bender (#22)**

**28. Beavis (#24)**

**29. Butt-Head (#48)**

**30. William Murderface (#47) (1 lap down)**

**31. Timmy Turner (#17) (1 lap down)**

**32. Eric Cartman (#14) (1 lap down)**

**33. Applejack (#18) (1 lap down)**

**34. Grim (#33) (1 lap down)**

**35. Gumball Watterson (#87) (2 laps down)**

**36. Foxxy Love (#98) (2 laps down)**

**37. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Peter Griffin (#93) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Eddy (#31) (DNF; transmission)**

**40. Rainbow Dash (#20) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Homer Simpson (#83) (DNF; engine)**

**43. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 14 of 36 races;**

**1. Nigel Uno (#1); 332 points**

**2. Abigail Lincoln (#5); 328 points**

**3. Kenny McCormick (#39)/Meatwad (#56); 326 points**

**5. Stan Smith (#7)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 321 points**

**7. The Warden (#32)/Kim Possible (#51); 319 points**

**9. Sokka (#38)/Phineas Flynn (#43); 316 points**

**11. Aang (#35)/Early Cuyler (#21); 315 points**

**13. Frylock (#15); 314 points**

**14. Hank Hill (#95)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 313 points**

**16. Katara (#34)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Ed (#27)/Jake Long [R] (#30)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/Beavis (#24); 312 points**

**22. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Bender (#22)/Butt-Head (#48); 311 points**

**25. Master Shake (#55)/Dudley Puppy (#99)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 310 points**

**28. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Francine Smith (#36)/Timmy Turner (#17); 309 points**

**31. William Murderface (#47)/Eric Cartman (#14)/Applejack (#18)/Edd (#29); 308 points**

**35. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)/Peter Griffin (#93)/Eddy (#31); 306 points**

**38. Homer Simpson (#83); 305 points**

**39. Grim (#33)/Gumball Watterson (#87); 300 points**

**41. Foxxy Love (#98); 297 points**

**42. Rainbow Dash (#20)/Danny Phantom (#16); 296 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 157 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 147 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 138 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 134 points**

**Next race; Quicken Loans 400 at Michigan International Speedway.**


	29. Quicken Loans 400

** The NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series now finds itself in the home state of the automobile – none other than Michigan. Not only that, but we are at THE absolute fastest speedway on the NASCAR circuit, Michigan International Speedway! Based in the Irish Hills in the southeastern part of the state, this track is a large two-mile-long D-shaped oval. The turns are banked at 18 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 12 degrees, and the backstretch is banked at 5 degrees.**

** This race shall be dubbed the Quicken Loans 400 – it will be 400 miles long, and run over 200 laps.**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**3. Edd (#29)**

**4. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**7. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**8. Eddy (#31)**

**9. William Murdeface (#47)**

**10. Applejack (#18)**

**11. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**12. Grim (#33)**

**13. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**14. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**15. Francine Smith (#36)**

**16. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**17. Master Shake (#55)**

**18. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**19. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**20. Bender (#22)**

**21. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**22. Butt-Head (#48)**

**23. Beavis (#24)**

**24. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**25. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**26. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**27. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**28. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**29. Frylock (#15)**

**30. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**31. Ed (#27)**

**32. Katara (#34)**

**33. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**34. Meatwad (#56)**

**35. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**36. Stan Smith (#7)**

**37. The Warden (#32)**

**38. Aang (#35)**

**39. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**40. Hank Hill (#95)**

**41. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**42. Sokka (#38)**

**43. Kim Possible (#51)**

**Now tuning to TNT;**

Alexander: Welcome to Michigan International Speedway, the fastest track on the NASCAR circuit. The cars have been known to hit speeds in excess of 215 miles per hour going into the turns; combine that with the crazy things that these cartoon characters have been known to do in these races, and you really have yourself a wild ride, as we're getting set for Round 15 of the 2nd NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, the Quicken Loans 400. Hello again, I'm Adam Alexander, alongside Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty, thanks for having us in for this race.

Dallenbach: Like you said, Adam, this is the fastest track on the NASCAR circuit. This would also make it one of the most dangerous tracks on the circuit as well. And, of course, we've seen the things that these characters will do; their powers, their weapons... man! Imagine how this one will turn out!

Petty: Focus in particular on Rainbow Dash in the #20 and Danny Phantom in the #16. They're tied for last place in the point standings, but they're starting 1st and 2nd in this race. Come to think of it, that's pretty much been the norm throughout this season. Weird. Anyway, expect both of them to real dangerous out there today.

Alexander: I believe they will be. Now let's go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your Grand Marshall, the star of the old NBC animated sitcom God, the Devil and Bob, Bob Allman!

Bob: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The 43 cars simultaneously start their engines, and the crowd applauds as they roar. Once the engines are warmed up, the pace car leads all the racecars out.**

Alexander: On pole, it's the Pegasus Rainbow Dash, and alongside her is the ghost Danny Phantom. Behind them is Edd in 3rd, and in 4th is defending Cartoon Cup Series champion Homer Simpson. The Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan is 5th and another fatty, Eric Cartman, is in 6th. Then in 7th, it's yet another fatty, Peter Griffin. Eddy is starting 8th, the death metal bassist William Murderface is 9th, and the pony Applejack will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid on your screen, Wally Dallenbach will get someone on the radio;

Wally: Hoagie Gilligan, it's Wally Dallenbach from TNT, you got me?

Hoagie: Got ya, Wally.

Wally: Well, you've piloted aircraft through situations much worse than this – how does this compare to that?

Hoagie: I don't know. I've literally flown to the moon and back, but piloting a racecar at 215 mph at a track like this is something in and of itself. Car control certainly has to be more important here than in other place, because at 210+ mph, you wouldn't have to even be that loose in order to spin out. That is my #1 concern, but I think we have a car that can handle it?

Wally: And what about the competition? How do you plan on handling them?

Hoagie: Well honestly, the best thing I can hope for at the moment is that they all crash, heh heh heh! Seriously though, we're gonna try as the race goes on to get this car better than the other cars out there, and if we make it to the end, then we'll go for it.

Wally: Okay, well good luck with that, and thanks for speaking with us.

Hoagie: 10-4.

**As soon as the pace laps have been completed, the pace car pulls off of the track and onto pit road. Shortly thereafter, the green flag is waved, turning the field of racecars loose.**

Alexander: Green flag is out, and we are underway in the Irish Hills of Michigan!

**Right off the bat, Rainbow Dash and Danny Phantom get the jump on the rest of the pack, running side-by-side with Rainbow Dash holding a slight edge. By lap 4, she clears Danny and solidifies her lead position.**

Rainbow Dash: Alright, now we're talkin'!

Fluttershy: Go Rainbow Dash.

**Edd, meanwhile, passes Danny Phantom for the 2****nd**** spot on lap 9, and by lap 15 catches up to Rainbow Dash to challenge her for the lead.**

Rainbow Dash: Oh great, it's that scrawny sock-headed geek.

**Rainbow Dash goes all over the racetrack, trying like hell to hold Edd off and keep him out of the lead. She manages pretty well until lap 20…**

Alexander: For the lead, here comes Edd to the inside… and he is clear.

Nazz: Go, Double D! (blows kiss)

Edd: Aw, you're too much, Nazz.

**For a few laps after that, Rainbow Dash tries to take the lead back, but by lap 24, she ends up falling back.**

** This allows Danny Phantom to catch up with her on lap 29, and to take 2****nd**** away from her on lap 31. It takes Danny until lap 38 to catch up with Edd, and by the time that happens…**

Alexander: And there's trouble in turn 1 as our points leader, Nigel Uno has gone into the wall.

Dallenbach: Looked like the #39 made contact with him going into the turn…

Petty: That's exactly what we were talking about with the speed of this track. You get clipped at speeds that high, and you're just along with the ride, like Nigel was just now.

Nigel: Dammit, I'm gonna kill Kenny!

Rachel: Well are you okay, at least.

Nigel: The car's done for, but I'm fine.

**On lap 38, Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet clips the right-rear of Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet, spinning Nigel around clockwise and making him go head-on into the retaining wall in turn 1 with such force that the engine in the car is disintegrated. Nigel, however, gets out unhurt.**

** Katara's #34 CSX Transportation Ford, running 1 lap down in 36****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The rest of the cars enter pit road; everyone takes four tires and fuel. Nothing goes awry, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**9. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**10. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**The race is restarted on lap 43.**

** Rainbow Dash makes it back up to 2****nd**** on lap 47, and tries to catch up with Edd, but she just cannot gain any ground on him. Then, on lap 52, Danny Phantom goes past her to take the 2****nd**** position back.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 59, Eric Cartman falls back out of the top 5.**

** Eddy then makes it up to 3****rd**** place on lap 63. On lap 69 he gets right up to Danny Phantom's rear bumper, trying to take the 2****nd**** spot from him. But Danny holds him off, and on lap 73, Rainbow Dash catches up them both, making it a three-way battle for 2****nd****.**

** Edd is still leading on lap 80 when...**

Alexander: And we have two cars in the wall in turn 4!

Dallenbach: Caution is out for the #5 of Abigail Lincoln and the #39 of Kenny McCormick; both of those cars trashed.

Kuki: Holy crap!

Cree: Oh my god, are you okay?

Abigail: Numbuh 5's alright. I don't think Kenny is, though...

**On lap 80, Abigail Lincoln's #5 Famer's Insurance Chevrolet and Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet get together in turn 4, lose control and crash into turn 4, totaling both cars.**

** As Abigail Lincoln exits her wrecked car unscathed, emergency crews are scrambling around the wrecked #39 car, trying to extricate Kenny. It turned out that his HANS device malfunctioned and didn't support his head and neck properly; thus, when the car went head-on into the wall, his head snapped forward with such force that he suffered a basilar skull fracture. And this led to the track crews having to extract him from the wreckage, his body not showing any signs of life.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars get four tires and fuel in the pits. During pit stops, this happens;**

Alexander: And apparently, Daria Morgendorffer was speeding on pit entrance – that'll be a drive-thru.

Daria: Ignorant sheep.

Quinn: Just bring it back in, you buzzkill!

Daria: (scoff) 10-4, whatever.

**Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**8. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Francine Smith (#36)**

**The restart occurs on lap 85.**

** Francine Smith falls out of the top 10 on lap 90.**

** Eddy moves to 2****nd**** on lap 96, catching up with his friend and teammate Edd on lap 101. Together, the two pull away little by little from the rest of the pack.**

** Then, on lap 105, Rainbow Dash moves past Danny Phantom for 3****rd**** place. From there, she starts to gain ground on both Edd and Eddy to where on lap 112, it turns into a three-way battle for the lead.**

Rolf: The multi-colored equestrian whore is right on both your asses, Ed-boy!

Eddy: Oh, crap...!

**While Edd soldiers on in the lead, Eddy tries desperately to hold Rainbow Dash off. But his efforts ultimately prove to be futile on lap 116 when Rainbow Dash snatches the 2****nd**** spot away from him.**

** Then, on lap 122;**

Alexander: Another crash – this time, it's in turn 3.

Petty: The #42 of Ahsoka Tano and the #7 of Stan Smith got together in the turn – now they're both totaled, just like that. That's incredible!

Stan: Dammit! I should've known that fuckin' Jedi would be no good!

Ahsoka: I swear I didn't do it on purpose! I just lost control, and he did, too.

Anakin: I know, Snips. I sensed it through you. Just don't get into any confrontations with Stan – the last thing you need right now is another enemy in this series, especially since he has a powerful enemy of his own right now.

Ahsoka: Yes Master.

**On lap 122, Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet and Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet get together in turn 3. Both cars lose control and crash hard into the turn 3 retaining wall, suffering damage to the point where neither car is able to continue on. Both Stan and Ahsoka get out of their cars and argue for a while before being broken up by track crews.**

** Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 26****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Edd (#29)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**6. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**7. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**8. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Applejack (#18)**

**The race is once again restarted on lap 128. Rainbow Dash gets off the line faster than Edd does, and she ends up in the lead.**

Edd: Oh, rats. Looks like the Pegasus outwitted me that time, Nazz.

Nazz: That's alright, we still have about 70 laps to catch her.

**But Edd is presented with another problem on lap 131 as Danny Phantom, having moved up from 4****th**** a lap ago, is now challenging him for the spot. Edd tries his best to hold him off, but then on lap 137...**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

...

Petty: Whoa, check out the #16 car!

Alexander: He's just gone ghost, and has just gone right through the #29 car to take 2nd place!

Dallenbach: How come no one mentioned this in the pre-race show?

Edd: Well that was an unfair strategy that he just implemented.

Danny: Oh, yeah! You're next, Rainbow Dash!

**After having dealt with Edd, Danny Phantom starts to gain ground on Rainbow Dash, and catches her on lap 144. For several laps, Danny tries his hand at taking the lead fairly, but Rainbow Dash slams the door on him every time he tries to make a move. And on lap 150...**

Danny: I'm going ghost again!

...

Alexander: There he goes again! The #16 has gone ghost, he's just driven through Rainbow Dash, and he is your new race leader!

Petty: That's incredible!

Rainbow Dash: (indistinct growling)

Danny: Oh now I'm so gonna win this race!

Sam: Go Danny! (blows kiss)

**As Danny Phantom pulls away from Rainbow Dash, Edd gains ground on her, and catches up on lap 155.**

** On lap 158...**

Alexander: Kim Possible is off the pace on the backstretch.

Kim: We just lost the suspension. This car's handling's gone to hell!

Ron: Damn. Bring it in.

Kim: 10-4.

**On lap 158, Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet blows its engine. Kim reluctantly coasts the car onto pit road and into the garage, ending her day.**

** On lap 161...**

Alexander: And now the caution has come out for smoke on the racetrack, coming from the #32 of The Warden!

Warden: Oh, the engine's been shot to hell! Dammit!

**On lap 161, The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford blows its engine, bringing the race under caution. The Warden coasts into the garage area and withdraws from the race.**

** Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** After the rest of the cars make their final pit stops of the race (all involving four tires and fuel), this happens;**

Alexander: We're hearing that Phineas Flynn was too fast entering pit road, and he'll have to do a drive-thru.

Phineas: Seriously? I wasn't even going that fast, for Christ's sake!

Isabella: It's our word against NASCAR's, Phineas. Let's just do the drive-thru and get this BS over with.

Phineas: 10-4.

**Phineas Flynn is caught speeding on pit road and will have to serve a drive thru penalty.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Edd (#29)**

**4. Eddy (#31)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**7. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**8. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. Master Shake (#55)**

**The race is restarted on lap 165.**

** Danny Phantom, Rainbow Dash, and Edd all jump ahead of the pack, whilst battling each other for the lead, which Danny Phantom has for the moment.**

** Peter Griffin moves into the top 5 on lap 172.**

** Back up front, Rainbow Dash snatches the lead from Danny Phantom on lap 178. Edd then gets by Danny Phantom on lap 185, catches up to Rainbow Dash on lap 190 and takes the lead on lap 194.**

** The white flag flies on lap 200. Rainbow Dash takes the lead going out of turn 2, but then, entering turn 3...**

Alexander: They're side-by-side going into turn 3... they touch... they spin!

Dallenbach: And they're hard into the wall! No caution!

Petty: And here comes the #16 of Danny Phantom. He's way ahead of the others and Rainbow Dash and Edd are both out of it.

Alexander: The checkers is out, and Danny Phantom wins the Quicken Loans 400!

Danny: Finally, our first win of the season! YES!

Sam: You did great out there, Danny. (blows series of kisses)

Danny: (giggle)

Edd: That pony strikes me as having obtained her operator's license from a container of Chunky Puffs cereal.

Rainbow Dash: Stupid sockhead! He's just as bad a driver as Ahsoka!

**As Edd and Rainbow Dash crash each other, Danny Phantom slips by to win the Quicken Loans 400. Eddy gets 2****nd****, Peter Griffin is 3****rd****, Hoagie Gilligan takes 4****th****, Homer Simpson comes in 5****th****, Applejack finishes 6****th****, Timmy Turner claims 7****th****, Francine Smith places 8****th****, Master Shake is 9****th**** and Eric Cartman rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing a series of donuts in the tri-oval, Danny Phantom cheers for a little bit in Victory Lane while the confetti flies. Then TNT's Chris Neville moves in for the interview;**

Neville: Danny Phantom, take us through that last lap.

Danny: (shrug) Just got lucky, I guess. Rainbow Dash and Double D just crashed out in the last two turns and I went for it. Not the most honorable way to get one's first win of a racing season, but I'll take it.

Neville: Hmmm, very well put. Well good job anyway.

Danny: Thanks.

**Danny Phantom's crew chief and girlfriend Sam Manson shows up beside him, and they kiss.**

** Quicken Loans 400 race results;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Eddy (#31)**

**3. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Applejack (#18)**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**8. Francine Smith (#36)**

**9. Master Shake (#55)**

**10. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**11. William Murderface (#47)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**14. Grim (#33)**

**15. Butt-Head (#48)**

**16. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**17. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**18. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**19. Beavis (#24)**

**20. Bender (#22)**

**21. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**22. Frylock (#15)**

**23. Rainbow Dash (#20) (DNF; accident)**

**24. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**25. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (1 lap down)**

**26. Ed (#27) (1 lap down)**

**27. Phineas Flynn (#43) (1 lap down)**

**28. Meatwad (#56) (1 lap down)**

**29. Katara (#34) (1 lap down)**

**30. Jake Long [R] (#30) (1 lap down)**

**31. Early Cuyler (#21) (2 laps down)**

**32. Hank Hill (#95) (2 laps down)**

**33. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (2 laps down)**

**34. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (3 laps down)**

**35. Aang (#35) (3 laps down)**

**36. Sokka (#38) (4 laps down)**

**37. The Warden (#32) (DNF; engine)**

**38. Kim Possible (#51) (DNF; suspension)**

**39. Stan Smith (#7) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Abigail Lincoln (#5) DNF; accident)**

**43. Nigel Uno (#1) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 15 of 36 races;**

**1. Eddy (#31); 348 points**

**2. Peter Griffin (#93); 347 points**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)/Applejack (#18)/Timmy Turner (#17); 346 points**

**6. Francine Smith (#36)/Master Shake (#55); 345 points**

**8. Homer Simpson (#83); 344 points**

**9. Danny Phantom (#16); 343 points**

**10. Eric Cartman (#14)/Meatwad (#56); 342 points**

**12. William Murderface (#47); 341 points**

**13. Butt-Head (#48); 340 points**

**14. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 338 points**

**15. Dudley Puppy (#99)/Beavis (#24); 337 points**

**17. Frylock (#15); 336 points**

**18. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Bender (#22); 335 points**

**20. Ben Tennyson (#10); 334 points**

**22. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Nigel Uno (#1); 333 points**

**23. Gumball Watterson (#87); 332 points**

**24. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 331 points**

**25. Grim (#33)/Edd (#29)/Ed (#27)/Abigail Lincoln (#5); 330 points**

**29. Kenny McCormick (#39); 329 points**

**30. Foxxy Love (#98)/Early Cuyler (#21); 328 points**

**32. Katara (#34); 327 points**

**33. Jake Long [R] (#30)/The Warden (#32)/Stan Smith (#7); 326 points**

**36. Hank Hill (#95)/Kim Possible (#51)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 325 points**

**39. Aang (#35)/Sokka (#38); 324 points**

**41. Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 323 points**

**43. Rainbow Dash (#20); 318 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 164 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 156 points**

**3. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 148 points**

**4. Jake Long [R] (#30); 142 points**

**Next race; Toyota Save/Mart 350 at Sonoma Raceway.**


	30. The Duel

This side story occurs immediately following the finish of the Quicken Loans 400, which saw Danny Phantom get his first victory of the season.

However, we will instead first focus on Rolf, the crew chief for the #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet driven by Eddy. Despite being pleased with Eddy finishing 2nd in the race and claiming the points lead, he is also angry at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, as they are both on the race team that got in that last-lap wreck with Eddy's teammate, Edd.

"Those horrid creatures have defiled the potential victory of the sock-headed Ed-boy," Rolf cringes underneath his breath as he storms through the garage area, looking for either Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy. But he is then greeted by someone else…

"What's goin' on, Stretch?" Eddy asks him.

"Oh, hello, Ed-boy," replies Rolf. "I need a favor from you. I'm looking for one of the winged horses on the #20 team – they spoiled the race for our friend, the borderline anorexic Ed-boy, and I think he ought to make them pay. You go find him, and get the tunas from our garage."

Eddy suddenly gets skeptical, especially since the mention of fighting with tunas brings up certain bad memories that I will not detail here. "You don't really think he'll do what I think you're thinking of, do you?"

"'Tis irrelevant," Rolf says. "Our friend must defend his honor, for no one who makes an ass out of any of us shall get away with it. Now go find him now! And bring the fish!"

"Okay, fine," Eddy reluctantly shrugs as he walks off.

…

Sometime later, Rolf sees Fluttershy chatting with her friend Bart Simpson. Rolf stands back for a while, waiting for them to part ways. All the while, he is thinking, "Pathetic pony-girl! Double D Ed-boy will piss on your head for what your driver did!"

In time, Bart waves Fluttershy good-bye and walks off, leaving Fluttershy by herself and giving Rolf the opening he's been looking for. He walks to Fluttershy and says with a fake-sweet smile on his face, saying, "Meek yellow pony girl, heaven preserve your beautiful mane!"

Fluttershy, not knowing what exactly Rolf is driving at with this comment, nervously replies, "Um, my name is Fluttershy… and thank you, Rolf."

Now that he has her attention, Rolf's fake-sweet smile gives away to an angry stare, as he decides to drop the nice-guy routine and get down to business. "If you value your life, be on your guard," he intones, "for your opponent has within him the youth, strength, skill and wrath that can outfight anyone."

"Opponent?" Fluttershy asks out of increasing nervousness. "B-b-b-b-but I don't understand. What is he?"

"He is a sock-headed Ed-boy," Rolf growls. "Three souls has he slapped with a heavy tuna, and with just one hand."

"Hey Rolf! I got 'im!" Eddy calls out as he appears on the scene, pushing Edd towards Fluttershy. Edd is holding a tuna in his hand, looking just as nervous as Fluttershy as he is coerced towards her.

Fluttershy, completely oblivious to Edd's equal amount of nervousness, becomes suddenly fearful. "You're making me fight? But why? Please, Rolf! Ask this gentleman what I might've done to upset him! It was Rainbow Dash who wrecked him, not me!"

"Nevertheless," Rolf scowls, "you are just as equally responsible for depriving him of a race win today, and he intends to obtain vengeance for it however possible. Now hold this weapon, if you will."

Rolf gives Fluttershy a dead fish to hold in her mouth, these tunas are the weapons with which he and Eddy intend for Fluttershy and Edd to fight each other with. Then, as Rolf walks over to Edd to provide him with his fish, Edd asks him, "Is this really necessary? I don't believe she should be held responsible for whatever transgressions Rainbow Dash may have committed, and she doesn't look like she could lay a hoof on common house fly, either."

"Why, high IQ Ed-boy, she's a real devil!" Rolf exclaims, aghast. "They say she broke the neck of a grizzly bear with her bare hooves."

Edd gasps. His face flushes white as he is suddenly overcome by petrifying fear over what he just may be up against. He turns to Eddy and Rolf, pleading "Merciful heavens, don't make me fight her!"

"C'mon, Double D! Stand up for yourself, pal!" Eddy coaxes as he pushes Edd towards Fluttershy, who is praying, "Oh, Celestia, help me!"

At that moment, Eddy leaves Edd by himself with Fluttershy. As he proceeds to reach for his iPhone and activate its video recording mode, Rolf declares, "You may proceed, combatants."

Edd and Fluttershy just stare at each other for a second, shaking in their boots, both afraid of how the other one may hurt them. Edd, seeing that Fluttershy is not doing anything at the moment, awkwardly raises his fish up as if he is looking to strike. Fluttershy gets scared and quickly raises her fish up and brings it down on Edd…

…but it doesn't hurt him at all. Being as weak as she is, the force of her blow was essentially next to nothing. Edd, nonetheless, decides to hit her back with his fish, scoring a blow right on the shoulder. Unfortunately, he's just as weak as Fluttershy, so the blow doesn't hurt her any more than she hurt him.

Even so, Fluttershy hits Edd again, with similar results. Edd follows suit, and the two continue to go back and forth, awkwardly slapping each other left and right with their fish, neither side hurting the other, thus holding the duel in a stalemate. While Rolf puts a palm to his face in disappointment, Eddy, on the other hand, is eagerly filming this awkward spectacle and snapping pictures of it on his iPhone, cackling to himself, "This is gonna make good money…"

…

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash, the driver of the #20 Dollar General Toyota, has been flying around above the infield of the track looking for Fluttershy. She's ready to leave the track to finally put the rough outcome of the race behind her, but she hasn't been able to find Fluttershy… but then she spots her in her awkward deadlocked duel with Edd.

Despite the fact that neither of them are actually hurting each other due to their weakness, Rainbow Dash can't help but be angered at what her friend is being subjected to. "Hey! Leave her alone!" she shouts out as she pushes Fluttershy aside." No one puts a fish to Fluttershy while I'm around!" She then runs up to Edd, takes his hat and pulls it down, making it stuck tight over his face.

While Edd writhes around trying to get his hat out of his face, Rolf takes his fish and gets on guard.

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Rolf!"

"You have interfered with our affairs for the last time, monochromatic pony slut!"

"Monochromatic? Oh, that does it…!"

Enraged by Rolf's vulgar comment, Rainbow Dash rushes at Rolf and hits him hard all over multiple times with the fish. Rolf groans with each blow, but in no time is able to come right back and give Rainbow Dash a few whacks in return. These blows are painful for Rainbow Dash, but she's able to get back on the offensive in no time. Then Rolf comes back and whacks her some more.

And so the two keep going back and forth, hitting each other as hard as they can with the fish, inflicting blow upon blow on each other, and not giving an inch despite however much the blows from the fish may hurt. While Edd and Fluttershy watch with faces showing a mixture of concern, anxiousness and fear, Eddy continues to film and snap pictures of the incident. "This keeps getting better and better!" he snickers to himself as he thinks about all the money he could make from the photos and video footage of this fight.

…

"Hey, what the hell's going on, here?!" The fight is suddenly brought to a halt as Rolf, Rainbow Dash, Edd, Eddy and Fluttershy look to see Nazz, Edd's crew chief and girlfriend, standing there, observing the scene in a state of confusion.

"Oh, Nazz, thank heavens you're here!" Edd says as he rushes into her arms. Rolf and Eddy tried to assist me with standing up for myself after Rainbow Dash removed all my probability of winning the race… but I just couldn't do it!" As Nazz holds onto Edd, Rainbow Dash says, "Er, are you, like, his girlfriend, or something?"

"Yeah," Nazz snaps. What's it to ya?"

"HA!" Rainbow Dash laughs. "Seriously? You actually settled for this pathetic chump? Unbelievable! You could do so much better than him, you know!"

"Maybe, but he's real sensitive and sweet – unlike other drivers I know!" Nazz shoots back.

"Pfft! Like that matters!" Rainbow Dash scoffs. "A boyfriend's only worth having if he has bulging biceps and pecs and six-pack abs and more money than he knows what to do with. Now I don't know how much money your pathetic boyfriend has, but he's weak as water, for Celestia's sake! He's so weak and pale and skinny, I just don't know how you put up with having to protect him all the freaking time. Also, I can't imagine how awkward it must be trying to be intimate with him. He's probably real horrible in the bed – why I'd bet that he doesn't even the balls to go down on you, much less get inside of you. You should just kick his flank to the curb and get yourself a boyfriend who actually has a pair of testicles, you dumb-"

"AAAGGGHH!" Unable to take it anymore, Nazz suddenly pounces on Rainbow Dash, savagely punching and kicking Rainbow Dash all over. "That's my boyfriend you're emasculating, you no-good stuck-up bitch!" she snarls as she yanks Rainbow Dash's mane. She screams aloud in agony as Nazz takes her head and bashes it to the pavement, leaving prominent blood stains on the concrete.

Suddenly, Eddy and Rolf, both agreeing that this contest has gotten too out of hand, run up to Nazz and grab a hold of her, pulling her off of Rainbow Dash.

"Let me at her, dammit!" Nazz growls as she tries to break free from Eddy and Rolf's grip. "I'm not done with that whore yet!"

"I think you've sent your message clearly enough," Rolf replies as he and Eddy drag her away from the scene. "C'mon, Double D, let's get outta here!" Eddy calls out as Edd follows them whilst glancing awkwardly back at the two ponies.

"Oh, my God, you're bleeding!" observes Fluttershy. Concerned for her friend, she helps Rainbow Dash up to her feet, and helps her back to the trailer, where she frantically tries to find a first aid kit to treat Rainbow Dash's wounds with.

"Alright, will somebody please tell me what that was all about?" Nazz asks once she and the boys are alone.

"Hey, she wrecked Double D, you know!" answers Eddy. "And with how girly and stupid those ponies are, I just didn't think our pal should have to live with having been wrecked by one of them without at least getting back at her somehow."

Suddenly, a mild sobbing is heard. Eddy, Rolf and Nazz turn to see Edd hanging his head, tears dripping from his face, and sobs coming from his throat. "But it was a total bust!" he cries. "Rainbow Dash was right… I'm so weak… maybe you would be better off with someone else, Nazz!"

As Edd's sobbing gets more serious, Nazz's face twists in shock at the comment he just made. "Awww, don't say that, Double D!" she says as she wraps her arms around him and kisses him on the cheek. "I don't care how physically strong or weak you are. I love you, and that'll never change! Edd continues to cry some, but the sobbing gradually goes down as Nazz caresses him in her arms…

Once Edd has stopped crying and Nazz has dried his tears, Eddy and Rolf walk up to him. Rolf says, "This frivolity was my fault, Ed-boy, and I am truly sorry."

"We just didn't want you to look weaker than you already are by letting any of those ponies take advantage of you," adds Eddy.

"It's alright, gentlemen," Edd says to them. "All is forgiven. Still… (sigh) I wish I was as powerful as you are, Rolf."

"Oh, I don't think you'd be the same old sock-headed Ed-boy anymore if that happened," Rolf blushes. "I bet Nazz would agree. (wink)"

"Yeah, she'll stand by you and stand up for you no matter what!" Eddy replies. "I wish I had someone like that. Sometimes I wish I'd settled for one of the Kanker sisters. You, on the other hand, have a keeper. And like Rolf said, you wouldn't be the same old sock head from back in the cul-de-sac. Don't ever change, dude!"

"Thank you, gentlemen!" Edd smiles as he man-hugs Eddy and Rolf. "But seriously, Eddy," he adds, "the Kanker sisters are despicable! Don't let any of them have their way with you, lest you be subjected to painful humiliation like what they used to put you, me and Ed through back in the cul-de-sac."

"Yeah, you're right, I don't know what I was thinking," says Eddy. "Alright, well me and Rolf are gonna bust out of here – you guys take care."

"See you around, gentlemen." Edd waves Eddy and Rolf goodbye, then he meets back up with Nazz, they share a kiss and they proceed to leave the track to go get a big, fancy dinner together…


	31. Toyota SaveMart 350

** Now we're at the Sonoma Raceway in California's wine country, where the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will run its sixteenth race of the season, the Toyota Save/Mart 350. This is one of the most looked forward to races on the schedule, primarily because this track is a road course – meaning that it has both left and right turns! Here's how this 1.99-mile long track is laid out; after crossing the start/finish line, the cars go through turn 1, which is a sweeping uphill left-hander. This leads to turn 2, which is a sharp right-hander. A short straightaway leads to turn 3, which is an uphill left-right S-turn. A short downhill straight leads to a hard right turn 4. After that is another short straight known as The Chute bypasses turns 5 & 6 leading to turn 7, another hard right. This leads to a couple of shallow left-hand kinks, followed by a right-hand kink which leads into turn 8, a sweeping left-right S-turn. This leads to the long sweeping left-hand turn 9, which goes straight into the intermediate right-hand turn 10. One more straightaway goes past the pit entrance before going into a very sharp right-hand hairpin turn known as the "keyhole (turn 11)." This leads to the pit straight, which features a left-hand kink (turn 12) before coming back at the start/finish line and completing a lap.**

** The race, despite having the number 350 in its name, will actually be 352.3 kilometers long – the equivalent of 218.9 miles. It will be run over 110 laps.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**2. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Aang (#35)**

**7. Hank Hill (#95)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**11. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**12. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**13. Katara (#34)**

**14. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**15. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**16. Ed (#27)**

**17. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**18. Grim (#33)**

**19. Edd (#29)**

**20. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**21. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**22. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**23. Butt-Head (#48)**

**24. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**25. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**26. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**27. Frylock (#15)**

**28. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**29. Beavis (#24)**

**30. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**31. Eddy (#31)**

**32. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**33. Meatwad (#56)**

**34. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**35. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**36. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**37. Master Shake (#55)**

**38. Applejack (#18)**

**39. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**40. Bender (#22)**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**42. William Murderface (#47)**

**43. Francine Smith (#36)**

**TNT?**

Alexander: And the schedule takes a turn to the right. Welcome back to the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series on TNT! We're live from Sonoma, California, at the Sonoma Raceway, one of the most notable tracks on the American road racing circuit. Normally, a road course would be a haven for open-wheel cars and sports cars. But today, the NASCAR stock cars will take to the road in today's race, the Toyota Save/Mart 350. With Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty, I'm Adam Alexander, thanks for having us in for this special race.

Dallenbach: Now this race, even though it's one of the shortest in turns of physical distance, takes a hell of a lot out of you. There's heavy braking, and a crapload of shifting gears, more often than any other track on the NASCAR circuit, alongside Watkins Glen. Much more precision and technicality is required on the road course circuit, especially since this is one of the most notoriously technical of the American road courses.

Petty: There are, of course, a couple of up sides. Since the laps take a lot longer, if and when you end up having to pit, you don't have quite as much of a chance of going a lap down. And speaking of pit stops, you should only have to do around three of those here, unlike at all the oval courses, where you typically have to do around five or six. As with every road race, I look forward to what these characters will do to try and conquer the road, if you will.

Alexander: Don't we all. Now let's go trackside for the command.

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the leader of the Herculoids, Zandor!

Zandor: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**All of the cars fire and rev up their 865 hp engines. The pace car then leads them all out when their engines are warmed up.**

Alexander: On the pole for the first time this season is Spongebob SquarePants, of all characters. Beside him in 2nd is Britain's own Ferb Fletcher. Then in 3rd is the rookie, the Jedi Ahsoka Tano. Stan Smith of the CIA will roll out in 4th. Starting 5th is the Pegasus Rainbow Dash, and the airbender Aang will start in 6th. Hank Hill is 7th, and rolling out in 8th is the secret agent Kim Possible. Sokka will start 9th, and The Warden will round out the top 10. While you look through the rest of the field, Kyle Petty will be on the phone;

Petty: Spongebob SquarePants, it's Kyle Petty in the TNT booth, you got me?

Spongebob: 10-4, Kyle.

Petty: Man, I don't think anyone thought you'd be starting this race on the pole, especially since you can't even get your boating license. Now what about-

Spongebob: Are you questioning my driving abilities, Kyle? I won at Darlington last year, didn't I?

Petty: Yeah… by one-thousandth of a second.

Spongebob: Shut up! I'm a better driver than you ever were! And at least I didn't get killed like your stupid son did. Over and out!

Petty: …

**The pace car retreats into the paved area in the middle of the "keyhole" after completing the pace laps. The green flag then flies and the racecars hit the gas going into turn 12.**

Alexander: Green flag; it is on on the road!

**Ferb Fletcher gets the better start and gets his bumper ahead of Spongebob's while going through turn 1 – he clears him through turn 2 and solidifies his lead this way.**

** Stan Smith falls out of the top 5 on lap 3, going out of the tunnel turn.**

** On lap 5, Ahsoka Tano clears Spongebob SquarePants for 2****nd**** place while heading through the chute. On lap 9, while going through turns 3 & 4, she makes it up to Ferb Fletcher's rear bumper and starts to go for the lead. For a few laps, she tries going at it fairly, but Ferb cuts her off whenever she tries to make a move. Then on lap 13, while entering The Chute…**

Alexander: Ferb Fletcher just went way wide going into the Chute, and Ahsoka Tano has the lead!

Dallenbach: Can't really tell what happened there – looks like his car got pushed. But there wasn't any contact!

Ferb: I don't know what happened! It just veered off into the runoff area without me doing anything!

Anakin: Don't you think that may have been overkill, Snips?

Ahsoka: But I had no other way of passing him!

Anakin: (facepalm)

**On lap 13, Ahsoka Tano uses her Force powers on Ferb Fletcher's #9 Dewalt/Stanley Ford, pushing him into the runoff area as he tries to turn into the Chute. Ferb doesn't crash, but he surrenders the lead to Ahsoka and falls out of the top 5 as well.**

** Ed moves up into the top 10 on lap 16.**

** Rainbow Dash who moved up to 2****nd**** after Ferb went wide, catches up to Ahsoka Tano on lap 21.**

Rainbow Dash: That Jedi's gonna get it now!

**Rainbow Dash tries to get her front bumper ahead of Ahsoka's rear bumper as they brake into turn 11, but Ahsoka pulls ahead as she goes through. This messes up Rainbow Dash's momentum, making her fall back a bit.**

Rainbow Dash: Damn! I so should've had her that time. Ugh!

**Meanwhile, Ed falls back out of the top 5 on lap 25. Then on lap 28…**

Alexander: Big trouble right at pit road entrance – the #31 of Eddy has slammed right into the end of the pit wall; caution is out.

Petty: The #14 of Eric Cartman ran into him, and that's what forced him there. Now he looks like he may be out of this race.

Eddy: The #14 rammed into me and I went head-on into the wall! Bastard!

Rolf: That Eric Cartman is a mean son-of-a-gun, Ed-boy, and fate turned him on us. (sigh) We're done.

**On lap 28, Eric Cartman's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet runs into Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet as they approach turn 11 – this causes Eddy's car to lose control and run right into the end of the pit wall with such force that the engine is shot. Eddy, however, gets out without a scratch.**

** Hank Venture's #13 GEICO Ford, running 1 lap down in 41****st**** gets the free pass.**

** All of the other cars go into the pits, and each one gets four tires and fuel. The following will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Kim Possible (#51)**

**4. Aang (#35)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**7. The Warden (#32)**

**8. Hank Hill (#95)**

**9. Katara (#34)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**The race restarts on lap 31.**

** Danny Phantom moves into the top 10 on lap 35.**

** Meanwhile, Ahsoka Tano and Rainbow Dash, with Ahsoka in the lead, have both managed to put some distance on the rest of the field. Then on lap 39, Rainbow Dash gets inside of Ahsoka while going through turn 8, taking the lead.**

Rainbow Dash: Awesome! Eat my dust, Jedi!

Ahsoka: (growling)

**Hank Hill falls out of the top 10 on lap 42.**

** On lap 44, Spongebob SquarePants moves back up to 3****rd****. By lap 49, he's caught up to Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano, making it a three-way battle for the lead. He tries pushing Ahsoka's buttons, hoping to maybe steal some momentum from her to use in helping him gain a position. But since Ahsoka is holding her ground, all this is really doing is allowing Rainbow Dash to gain distance on them both…**

** Further back in the field, on lap 52, Stan Smith, who's running 11****th****, has just caught up to his rival Danny Phantom, and now starts to try and challenge him to get back in the top 10. Danny, being an aggressive driver in his own right, successfully holds him off, stopping all of Stan's moves before he can accomplish anything. But then, on lap 55, as they're about to enter turn 2, Stan draws his pistol…**

Alexander: Trouble in turn 2! Caution is out for the #16 of Danny Phantom as he has overshot turn 2 and gone all the way into the wall!

Dallenbach: You see Stan Smith in the #7 – watch, he reaches out with his gun in his hand, shoots twice, and BOOM! There goes the #16.

Petty: Looks like he may have hit both his rear brakes – I'm pretty sure that was brake fluid leaking from his car just then. Shooting precision like that… that's incredible!

Stan: Heh heh heh… not so much of a winner now, are you, ghost-faggot?

Danny: I swear, one of these days, I'm gonna kill both him and his wife!

Sam: I… wouldn't recommend killing his wife – that'd be bad karma.

Danny: (sigh)

**On lap 55, Stan Smith shoots at Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford, hitting it in both of the rear brakes and disabling them. This takes a huge bite out of Danny's car's stopping power, and leads to him completely missing into turn 2 and heading across the grass and straight into the outside retaining wall. The car is totaled by the force of the blow, but Danny gets out unscathed.**

** Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford, running 1 lap down in 39****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars then get four tires and fuel in the pits. After the pits, this happens;**

Alexander: Meatwad – TOO FAST ENTERING PIT ROAD! He'll have to go back through.

Meatwad: Oh, that's bullshit! I wasn't even going that fast!

Err: You should, like, totally not serve that drive-thru penalty.

Meatwad: (sigh) Whatever, I'll just do the drive-thru.

**Meatwad is caught speeding on pit road entrance, and will have to do a drive-thru penalty.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**4. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**5. Aang (#35)**

**6. The Warden (#32)**

**7. Kim Possible (#51)**

**8. Katara (#34)**

**9. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**The restart occurs on lap 60. Rainbow Dash spins the tires, allowing Ahsoka Tano to take the lead from her easily.**

Rainbow Dash: Oh, for Celestia's sake!

**Spongebob SquarePants moves up to 2****nd**** following Rainbow Dash's slip-up. By lap 65, she catches up to Ahsoka Tano and proceeds to challenge her for the lead.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 69, The Warden moves up into the top 5.**

** On lap 74...**

Alexander: Whoa, Ahsoka Tano went way wide in turn 11!

Petty: She locked up the brakes is what happened.

Dallenbach: And now Spongebob SquarePants is back in the lead.

Spongebob: Woo-hoo! We're gonna win this, Patrick!

Ahsoka: The brakes just locked up! There was nothing I could do!

Anakin: Dwelling on minor slip-ups can lead to fear. Fear leads to anger, and, well, you know the rest.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**On lap 74, Ahsoka Tano inadvertently locks up the brakes on her #42 Target Chevrolet as she cruises into turn 11, causing her to swing really wide through the turn and allowing Spongebob SquarePants to cut underneath her and take back the lead.**

** On lap 79, Stan Smith moves back up into the top 5.**

** Rainbow Dash catches up to Ahsoka Tano on lap 82 and tries to take 2****nd**** back. Ahsoka is still holding her off on lap 86 when...**

Alexander: Car in the wall – turn 3!

Dallenbach: It's the #18 of Applejack – the #43 of Phineas Flynn made contact with her, and she was just along for the ride after that.

Petty: Uh, if you recall, something like this happened last season, and, uh, they're little "conversation" afterwards wasn't pretty.

Applejack: Oh, for Celestia's sake! (sigh) Oh, well. No use in beating him up again like last time.

Pinkie: 10-4. At least you're okay.

**On lap 86, Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford clips Applejack's #18 M & M's Toyota as she tries to go into turn 3. Applejack spins out going into the turn and slides into the wall. While the impact may not look too serious on television, the car is nonetheless unable to get its engine back up and running, so a wrecker is called to the scene as Applejack gets out of the car.**

** Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 37****th**** gets the free pass.**

** All the cars still on track then go in to make their last pit stops of the race. Everyone gets four tires and fuel. Everything goes smoothly, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. The Warden (#32)**

**6. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**8. Aang (#35)**

**9. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**10. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**The race gets back underway on lap 90. Spongebob SquarePants spins the tires on the restart, allowing Ahsoka Tano to take back the lead and for Rainbow Dash to move back up to 2****nd****.**

** Then on lap 93, Stan Smith gets past Spongebob for 3****rd**** place, thus setting his sights on Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano who are currently fighting to the death for the win…**

** Rainbow Dash manages to slip by Ahsoka Tano going through the S-turns on lap 95. But then Ahsoka takes the lead back at turn 2 on lap 99. Then it's Rainbow Dash again on lap 101, and then Ahsoka on lap 106.**

** Then on lap 109;**

Alexander: Oh, and Rainbow Dash went way wide through turn 4!

Petty: She locked up the brakes, just like Ahsoka did in turn 11.

Dallenbach: And now Stan Smith has 2nd place.

Rainbow Dash: Dammit! I had that Jedi beat!

**Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota locks up the brakes going into turn 4, getting real loose and going real wide through the turn, allowing Stan Smith to take 2****nd**** place.**

** The white flag flies on lap 110. By the time they come out of the Chute, Stan Smith has caught up to Ahsoka Tano, ensuing the final battle for the win. Stan tries making his move going through the hairpin that is turn 11, but Ahsoka holds him off coming onto the homestretch. Stan, down to his last resort, takes out his pistol…**

All Commentators: OH!

Alexander: Ahsoka Tano's blown a tire!

Dallenbach: Stan Smith shot it out!

Petty: That's incredible!

Alexander: The checkered flag is out, and Stan Smith wins the Toyota Save/Mart 350!

Roger: Awesome drivin', buddy!

Stan: Take that, Jedi! And take that, Phantom! Woo-hoo!

Ahsoka: What kind of dirty driving is that? I had this race won, for the Force's sake!

Anakin: Let it go, Ahsoka. At least we still finished 2nd.

Ahsoka: (sigh) Yes, Master.

**Whilst going down the home stretch, Stan Smith shoots out Ahsoka Tano's left-rear tire, allowing him to slip by and win the Toyota Save/Mart 350. Ahsoka, meanwhile, manages to limp across the line in 2****nd**** place. Rainbow Dash is 3****rd****, The Warden takes 4****th****, Spongebob SquarePants places 5****th****, Foxxy Love finishes 6****th****, Kenny McCormick comes in 7****th****, Early Cuyler gets 8****th****, Ferb Fletcher claims 9****th**** and Ed rounds out the top 10.**

** Stan does a big burnout down the pit straight as the crowd cheers him on. He then finds himself cheering and standing proud in Victory Lane, where he is joined by his wife and fellow driver Francine Smith. TNT's Matt Yocum then moves in for the interview;**

Yocum: Stan Smith, with an unexpected move to pull off the victory today.

Stan: Well, there would've been no other way to do it, you know. I still don't know how in the hell she managed to beat me through that hairpin turn, but when she did, I knew the only way was to shoot at her. That's something I normally only do to that ghost-fag Danny Phantom when he gets his gay ass in my way, and I actually did that back on lap 55. Now it actually helped me win a race, so I have to thank the CIA for all of my mad skills, as well as Tommy Baldwin, Accell Construction and all our other sponsors that make it possible for me to drive in this awesome series, and I'd love to think of what we can do from here.

Yocum: Great job out there, Stan.

Stan: Thanks, Matt.

**Francine appears at Stan's side, and they kiss.**

** Toyota Save/Mart 350 race results;**

**1. Stan Smith (#7)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. The Warden (#32)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**7. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Ed (#27)**

**11. Kim Possible (#51)**

**12. Hank Hill (#95)**

**13. Sokka (#38)**

**14. Aang (#35)**

**15. Katara (#34)**

**16. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**17. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**18. Grim (#33)**

**19. Butt-Head (#48)**

**20. Edd (#29)**

**21. Beavis (#24)**

**22. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**23. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**24. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**25. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**26. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**27. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**28. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**29. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**30. Frylock (#15)**

**31. Master Shake (#55)**

**32. Meatwad (#56)**

**33. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**34. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**35. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**36. William Murderface (#47) (1 lap down)**

**37. Francine Smith (#36) (1 lap down)**

**38. Ben Tennyson (#10) (1 lap down)**

**39. Bender (#22) (1 lap down)**

**40. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (1 lap down)**

**41. Applejack (#18) (DNF: accident)**

**42. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Eddy (#31) (DNF: accident)**

**Point standings after 16 of 36 races;**

**1. Stan Smith (#7); 373 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 369 points**

**3. The Warden (#32)/Foxxy Love (#98)/Kenny McCormick (#39)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 366 points**

**7. Butt-Head (#48); 365 points**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)/Ed (#27); 364 points**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants; 363 points**

**11. Homer Simpson (#83)/Timmy Turner (#17); 362 points**

**13. Rainbow Dash (#20)/Beavis (#24); 360 points**

**15. Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 359 points**

**17. Kim Possible (#51)/Master Shake (#55)/Peter Griffin (#93); 358 points**

**20. Hank Hill (#95)/Eric Cartman (#14); 357 points**

**22. Katara (#34)/Grim (#33); 356 points**

**24. Sokka (#38)/Nigel Uno (#1)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 355 points**

**27. Aang (#35)/Edd (#29)/Meatwad (#56); 354 points**

**30. Jake Long [R] (#30); 353 points**

**31. Francine Smith (#36); 352 points**

**32. Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Gumball Watterson (#87); 351 points**

**34. Frylock (#15); 350 points**

**35. William Murderface (#47)/Applejack (#18)/Eddy (#31); 349 points**

**38. Dudley Puppy (#99); 347 points**

**39. Danny Phantom (#16); 345 points**

**40. Phineas Flynn (#43); 342 points**

**41. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Bender (#22); 340 points**

**43. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 339 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 183 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 165 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 155 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 150 points**

**Next race; Quaker State 400 at Kentucky Speedway.**


	32. Quaker State 400

**After taking some right turns last week, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series will now run at the newest track to the NASCAR Cup Series schedule, Kentucky Speedway! Located in Sparta, about 60 miles northeast of Louisville, this track is a 1.5-mile tri-oval. The turns are banked at 14 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 8-10 degrees and the backstretch is banked at 4 degrees.**

** This will be the 17****th**** race on the Cartoon Cup Series schedule. It will be referred to as the Quaker State 400, and will be run on Saturday night, over 267 laps for a total distance of 400.5 miles.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**4. Bender (#22)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. William Murderface (#47)**

**7. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**8. Applejack (#18)**

**9. Frylock (#15)**

**10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**11. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Francine Smith (#36)**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**15. Edd (#29)**

**16. Meatwad (#56)**

**17. Aang (#35)**

**18. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**19. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**20. Grim (#33)**

**21. Sokka (#38)**

**22. Hank Hill (#95)**

**23. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**24. Katara (#34)**

**25. Butt-Head (#48)**

**26. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**27. Master Shake (#55)**

**28. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**29. Beavis (#24)**

**30. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**31. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**32. Ed (#27)**

**33. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**34. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**35. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**36. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**37. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**38. Stan Smith (#7)**

**39. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**40. Kim Possible (#51)**

**41. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**42. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**43. The Warden (#32)**

**Now tuning to TNT;**

Alexander: The schedule took a right turn last week at Sonoma as Stan Smith overcame his nemesis Danny Phantom and 41 other hungry drivers to gain his first win of the season. But now, the schedule is going to the left once again as the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series heads to the Bluegrass State, to the newest track on the NASCAR circuit, Kentucky Speedway for the 17th race in this NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, the Quaker State 400! Welcome to the race, I'm Adam Alexander – and with me as always, Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty.

Petty: First of all, I must say that I'm glad to see Spongebob starting way back in 41st, after those highly uncalled for comments he made about my son last week. Hopefully, he'll have an equally poor finish – it'll teach him to mess with the Petty family!

Dallenbach: Yes, well anyway, this may be the newest track on the Cup Series schedule, but it is also one of the most important because it is a mile-and-a-half track. There are more tracks of this variety than any other kind in the series, and five of the ten Chase races are on mile-and-a-half tracks, so if you're real good on this track, you really have a shot at the Cup title.

Alexander: And we'll see just who is good on this mile-and-a-half speedway, as we now go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, one of the most vicious vigilantes known to man, The Punisher!

Punisher: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**And so the 43 cars all fire and rev up their 865 hp engines yet again. They are then all led out of pit road by the pace car.**

Alexander: Last season's winner of this race, Phineas Flynn is on pole, and Ben Tennyson is alongside him in 2nd. Then in 3rd it's the half-ghost Danny Phantom, and the robot Bender is in 4th. Eddy is rolling out from the 5th position, and in 6th is the death metal bass player William Murderface. Starting in 7th is the dog Dudley Puppy, and starting 8th is the pony Applejack. Frylock will start 9th, and Abigail Lincoln will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid, Wally Dallenbach will be on the phone;

Wally: Phineas Flynn, it's Wally Dallenbach from TNT, you got me?

Phineas: Yes, yes I do.

Wally: So you won this race last season – now how do you plan on trying to pull off a repeat performance this time around?

Phineas: Hmmm, well we are running a different kind of car this time, and in practice, we thought we got the car at least up to par with everyone else. As for actually holding off everyone else and winning this one, you never know, what with the stuff that happens throughout these races. So we'll just see how things play out and hope for the best at the end.

Wally: Alright, well good luck, Phineas.

Phineas: 10-4.

**The pace car retreats onto pit road after the warm-up laps are completed. The green flag then waves, turning the 43-car field loose.**

Alexander: Green flag – we are underway at Kentucky!

**Hank Venture moves up into the top 10 on lap 4.**

** Meanwhile, by lap 7, Phineas Flynn has extended his lead to the point where Ben Tennyson cannot make any runs at him.**

Phineas: Looks like we're in the clear for now, Izzy.

Isabella: Just keep going like this and we'll be just fine! (blows kiss)

**Ben Tennyson then loses 2****nd**** place to Danny Phantom on lap 13. After clearing Ben, Danny then starts to gain ground on Phineas Flynn, looking to challenge for the lead.**

** On lap 20;**

Tucker: That's the leader right in front of you. Go get 'im!

Danny: 10-4, Tuck.

Candace: The #16's right behind you. Look out!

Phineas: You mean that damned phantom? Oh crap…

**Danny Phantom catches Phineas Flynn on lap 20, resulting in a battle for the lead. Many times Danny swerves to one side of the track trying to slip underneath of Phineas and squeeze by him. But every time, Phineas manages to block him before Danny's front bumper gets by his own rear bumper.**

** Then on lap 28…**

Danny: Screw it, I'm going ghost!

…

Candace: Look out – the 16's turned ghost!

Phineas: Damn it!

Alexander: The #16 car just turned intangible, and now he has the lead!

Dallenbach: He just went through the #43 like it wasn't there!

Petty: It really is incredible how he can pull those stunts off.

Danny: That was too easy… WHY HAVEN'T WE WON MORE RACES?!

**On lap 28, Danny Phantom goes ghost, turning his #16 3M Ford intangible. He then slips right through Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford, claiming the lead.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 34, Eddy passes Ben Tennyson for 3****rd**** place. He gradually catches up to the leaders from here – on lap 39 he passes Phineas Flynn for 2****nd**** place.**

** At the same time, there is a vicious battle for 29****th**** place being contested by rivals Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano. Ahsoka has the 29****th**** spot while Rainbow Dash is trying to snatch it away. This confrontation escalates to the point where on lap 45, this happens;**

Alexander: Caution is out for the #42 of Ahsoka Tano – she has slammed hard into the inside retaining wall on the backstretch.

Dallenbach: It was the #20 of Rainbow Dash that ran her off the track there. And it looked totally intentional to me.

Petty: Well of course! You've all seen how much they've been at each other's throats all this season!

Ahsoka: (sigh) That's the story of our season, I guess.

Anakin: Just don't do anything rash this time around, Snips.

Ahsoka: 10-4, Master.

**On lap 45, Rainbow Dash's #20 Dollar General Toyota slams into the left-rear quarter panel of Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, sending Ahsoka's car spinning into the infield and slamming head-on into the inside retaining wall. The front end of the car is destroyed; Ahsoka is shaken, but not seriously injured.**

** Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford, running 1 lap down in 32****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** All of the other cars then make their first pit stops of the race, with everyone taking on four tires and fuel. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Eddy (#31)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**4. Bender (#22)**

**5. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**6. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**9. William Murderface (#47)**

**10. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**The race restarts on lap 51.**

** Bender moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 57. He catches up to Danny Phantom on lap 62, but whenever he sets up for a pass, Danny slams the door on him.**

Bender: Damn, now I see why Stan Smith is so fed up with this dipshit!

**With all of his momentum gone from his unsuccessful shots at the lead, Bender is unable to prevent Eddy from zooming right on by him on lap 66. Eddy then catches Danny on lap 71, and on lap 75…**

Alexander: Danny just had a major slip-up in turn 2!

Dallenbach: He almost spun out – he's saved it, but Eddy's in the lead now.

Rolf: Take that, ghost-boy from hell!

Eddy: (cackles)

**Meanwhile, on lap 79, Ben Tennyson slips by Bender for 3****rd**** place. Then on lap 86, he zooms by Danny Phantom for 2****nd****. He starts to challenge Eddy for the lead on lap 91, but Eddy does not let him get by, regardless of the risk of the moves Ben pulls.**

Ben: How the hell does he drive like that?

Gwen: I don't know – hell, I don't think even Kevin would be able to pull this off.

Kevin: I can hear you, Gwen!

**Then on lap 93;**

Alexander: Turn 2! Hoagie Gilligan's in the wall!

Petty: Caution is out for the #2 – I think the #1 may have gotten into him.

Dallenbach: You are correct, Kyle.

Nigel: Crap… tell Hoagie I'm sorry! God, I hope he doesn't kill me!

Hoagie: Tell Nigel it's alright – this car was driving like it was on ice anyway.

**On lap 93, Nigel Uno's #1 McDonald's Chevrolet clips Hoagie P. Gilligan's #2 Miller Lite Ford – Hoagie fishtails to the left, overcorrects and goes head-on into the turn 2 wall, totaling the car. Hoagie gets out unhurt and is taken on the mandatory trip to the infield care center.**

** Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford, running 1 lap down in 26****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Bender (#22)**

**4. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**5. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**6. Applejack (#18)**

**7. William Murderface (#47)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**9. Francine Smith (#36)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**The race is restarted on lap 100. Eddy spins the tires on the restart, allowing Ben Tennyson to steal the lead.**

Eddy: Piece of crap!

Rolf: Our automotive stallion is still in one piece, Ed-boy – don't give up!

Ben: Serves him right; 'bout time we got the lead.

Gwen: Amen to that, coz!

**Danny Phantom falls out of the top 5 on lap 106.**

** Applejack passes Eddy for 3****rd**** place on lap 113, passes Bender on lap 119 and catches Ben Tennyson on lap 123. But Ben holds her off, and by lap 128, Applejack starts to fall back.**

Applejack: Dagnabit, that boy really is from outer space.

**Meanwhile, on lap 134, William Murderface falls out of the top 10.**

** Bender falls out of the top 5 on lap 140.**

** Around this time, Danny Phantom is back in 10****th**** place, engaged in a ferocious three-way battle for 8****th**** with his current rival Stan Smith as well as with Francine Smith, who happens to be Stan's wife. Danny's patience wears out real quickly, and on lap 144, he launches an energy ball from his hand intended for Stan…**

Alexander: And Danny Phantom just hit the #36 of Francine Smith with an energy ball from his hand, caution is out!

Dallenbach: Wait, but wasn't it her husband he was feuding with?

Petty: Yeah, and I think it was aimed for him. But since it hit his wife, things between them are gonna get even worse.

Danny: Dammit! I was aiming for Stan! Slick bastard.

Francine: God, I hate that fucking phantom!

Stan: He had the audacity to do that do my wife! Oh, I am so gonna kill him AND his communist girlfriend!

Roger: Man, you're right – that fucker is just as bad as I am!

**On lap 144, headed into turn 3, Danny Phantom launches an energy ball intended for Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, but instead it hits the right-rear tire of Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet, causing the car to spin into the wall head-on and tearing apart its front end. Fortunately for Francine, she gets out of the car unscathed.**

** Grim's #33 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Bender (#22)**

**4. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**8. Stan Smith (#7)**

**9. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**10. Meatwad (#56)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 150.**

** Phineas Flynn quickly moves up to 2****nd**** on lap 154, and then on lap 161 catches Eddy. Then on lap 168;**

Alexander: On the backstretch, Phineas Flynn does the slingshot on Eddy, and he is back in the lead!

Candace: Clear – you're leading, Phineas!

**Eddy, however, keeps up – by lap 174, they've both pulled away from the rest of the pack, making it just the two of them for the time being.**

**Danny Phantom makes his way back up to the top 5 on lap 181.**

** Eddy takes the lead back from Phineas on lap 188 – then on lap 194...**

Alexander: And we have two cars wrecked in turn 4 – the #32 of The Warden and the #98 of Foxxy Love – caution is out.

Warden: Wrecked by a black slut – how humiliating!

Foxxy: Goddammit! (pounds fist on steering wheel repeatedly)

**On lap 194, The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford and Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford make contact in turn 4 – they both lose control, crashing hard into the retaining wall and each other. The cars are totaled – Foxxy and the Warden get out of their cars and bicker for a while before being broken up by track personnel.**

** Sokka's #38 Love's Travel Center Ford, running 1 lap down in 21****st**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**3. Bender (#22)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**9. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**10. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**The race is restarted once again on lap 200. Eddy and Phineas Flynn both get real great starts, leaving the rest of the pack behind.**

**Dudley Puppy falls out of the top 10 on lap 207.**

**Applejack falls out of the top 5 on lap 212.**

**On lap 218, Danny Phantom passes Bender for 3****rd**** place, but can't gain any ground on the leaders, as he is blocked by the lapped car of Kenny McCormick. By lap 224, Bender is almost on top of Danny, and he is forced to take drastic measures;**

All Commentators: OH!

Alexander: The #39 car just went 50-feet up into the air and is spinning and crashing violently on the backstretch infield!

Petty: This is outrageous! It's physically impossible for a car to go up like that at these speeds, so someone must've done something!

Dalllenbach: It had to have been Danny, but I couldn't see anything...

Sam: You did that, didn't you?

Danny: I had to. Dumb moron wasn't letting me pass.

**On lap 218, Danny Phantom uses his telekinesis on Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, launching Kenny 50 feet into the air; his car flips and spins down the backstretch infield, being torn apart. As the caution flag is flown, emergency crews are sent to the wreckage; due to a HANS device failure, Kenny suffered a basilar skull fracture, as made evident when his lifeless body is extricated from the car.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**Aang's #35 CSX Transportation Ford, running 1 lap down in 20****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The surviving cars then make their way down pit road for their last service stops of the race. Everything proceeds smoothly, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**3. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**4. Bender (#22)**

**5. Stan Smith (#7)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. Frylock (#15)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**The race restarts once more on lap 223; once again Eddy and Phineas Flynn jump ahead of the pack, leaving them in their dust.**

** On lap 230, Stan Smith passes Bender for 4****th**** place, and gets right on top of Danny Phantom's rear bumper on lap 234.**

Stan: You'll pay for wrecking my wife, ghost-fag!

Danny: You won't get by me, fascist pig!

**Danny manages to block Stan whenever he tries to slip underneath him. But consequently, the rest of the pack gets jammed up behind him, allowing Eddy and Phineas Flynn to gain even more ground on them...**

** By about lap 242, it becomes clear that it will come down to Eddy and Phineas. Phineas retakes the lead on lap 248, then Eddy takes it right back on lap 255, then it's Phineas again on lap 261.**

** Phineas is still leading when the white flag flies on lap 267. He holds Eddy off through turns 1 & 2, the backstretch and turn 3. Then...**

Alexander: Coming out of turn 4, Eddy pulls alongside Phineas, they're side-by-side to the line and it's...

All Commentators: EDDY!

Alexander: Eddy wins the Quaker State 400!

Rolf: Rolf is most overjoyed at Lady Luck for finally deciding to smile on us!

Eddy: Amen to that, Rolf! We finally won one for this season!

Phineas: (sigh)...

Isabella: It's okay, you still did great, Phineas! (blows kiss)

**Eddy wins the Quaker State 400, while Phineas settles for 2****nd****. Stan Smith steals 3****rd****, Danny Phantom finishes 4****th****, Meatwad takes 5****th****, Applejack is 6****th****, Dudley Puppy comes in 7****th****, Jake Long gets 8****th****, Frylock claims 9****th****, and Abigail Lincoln rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing donuts and a burnout in front of the cheering fans, Eddy cheers and celebrates in Victory Lane amidst the champagne and confetti. TNT reporter Chris Neville then moves in for the interview;**

Neville: Eddy, that was one hell of a finish for you, I bet.

Eddy: Well isn't that why so many suckers watch this stupid sport? (laughs) But seriously, that's probably the fastest my heart has beaten so far this season – even on the homestretch I wasn't sure if I would beat that triangle-headed freak. But I did, and now I can finally enjoy the spoils of victory – of course, what I'm REALLY looking forward to is the prize money. I'm gonna be even more rich! And I'm gonna buy a whole truckload of Jawbreakers for my entire race team!

Neville: Great job out there, Eddy.

Eddy: Thanks.

**Quaker State 400 race results;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**3. Stan Smith (#7)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Meatwad (#56)**

**6. Applejack (#18)**

**7. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**8. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**9. Frylock (#15)**

**10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**11. Bender (#22)**

**12. Edd (#29)**

**13. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**14. William Murderface (#47)**

**15. Ed (#27)**

**16. Aang (#35)**

**17. Butt-Head (#48)**

**18. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**19. Grim (#33)**

**20. Sokka (#38)**

**21. Gumball Watterson (#87) (1 lap down)**

**22. Hank Hill (#95) (1 lap down)**

**23. Early Cuyler (#21) (1 lap down)**

**24. Katara (#34) (1 lap down)**

**25. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (1 lap down)**

**26. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (1 lap down)**

**27. Eric Cartman (#14) (1 lap down)**

**28. Homer Simpson (#83) (1 lap down)**

**29. Beavis (#24) (1 lap down)**

**30. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (2 laps down)**

**31. Timmy Turner (#17) (2 laps down)**

**32. Peter Griffin (#93) (2 laps down)**

**33. Rainbow Dash (#20) (2 laps down)**

**34. Master Shake (#55) (3 laps down)**

**35. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (3 laps down)**

**36. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (4 laps down)**

**37. Kim Possible (#51) (5 laps down)**

**38. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Foxxy Love (#98) (DNF; accident)**

**40. The Warden (#32) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Francine Smith (#36) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (DNF: accident)**

**Point standings after 17 of 36 races;**

**1. Stan Smith (#7); 414 points**

**2. Eddy (#31); 397 points**

**3. Meatwad (#56)/Ed (#27); 393 points**

**5. Butt-Head (#48); 392 points**

**6. Jake Long [R] (#30); 389 points**

**7. Applejack (#18); 387 points**

**8. Danny Phantom (#16)/Edd (#29); 386 points**

**10. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Frylock (#15)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Early Cuyler (#21); 385 points**

**14. Dudley Puppy (#99); 384 points**

**15. Aang (#35); 382 points**

**16. Nigel Uno (#1)/Grim (#33); 381 points**

**18. William Murderface (#47)/Sokka (#38)/Hank Hill (#95); 379 points**

**21. Homer Simpson (#83); 378 points**

**22. Katara (#34); 376 points**

**23. Beavis (#24)/Timmy Turner (#17); 375 points**

**25. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Eric Cartman (#14); 374 points**

**27. Bender (#22)/Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 373 points**

**30. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 372 points**

**32. Rainbow Dash (#20)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Foxxy Love (#98); 371 points**

**35. Peter Griffin (#93)/The Warden (#32)/Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 370 points**

**38. Master Shake (#55)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 368 points**

**41. Kim Possible (#51); 365 points**

**42. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 359 points**

**43. Francine Smith (#36); 355 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 190 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 173 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 164 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 162 points**

**Next race; Coke Zero 400 at Daytona International Speedway.**


	33. North Turn

This next side story takes place on the Friday evening before the Coke Zero 400 in Ponce Inlet, Florida, about 23 miles south of Daytona Beach. We find Bart Simpson, spotter for the #83 Burger King Toyota, along with his friend and confidant Fluttershy, crew chief for the #20 Dollar General Toyota. The two friends are currently headed down a sidewalk alongside State Road A1A, looking for beach access. Eventually, they find a ramp, which just so happens to be located right by a restaurant that is right by a landmark very important to NASCAR's history.

"Hey, that's the Racing's North Turn Restaurant!" acknowledges Bart. "You know, this was right where the North Turn of the Daytona Beach road course was."

"You mean where NASCAR first started racing back in the late 1940's?"

"Exactly."

"Man, I never would've thought there'd be more to this little town than a giant lighthouse," Fluttershy marvels. After staring towards the restaurant in awe, imagining the old cars that raced around there back in the late '40's, she then asks Bart, "So, uh, you wanna go in and eat something?"

"Nah, I wanna go on the beach!" Bart says, excited.

"Sure, why not? I've heard this is one of the most beautiful beaches out there." And so Bart and Fluttershy walk out on the beach access path and out onto the sands of the beach, which has no one else on it at the moment. They both then take a moment to feel the sea breeze at it blows in their hair, and they watch as the waves work their way up and fizzle out on the beach's edge as the setting sun glimmers behind them (the beach faces the east, so unfortunately there's no sunset for them).

Bart, looking down the beach, says to Fluttershy, "It's so incredible to think that NASCAR used to actually race on this beach. I wonder what would happen if they ran on this beach with today's cars."

"That would not end well," replies Fluttershy. "You should know how insanely fast the cars today go."

"That is true," acknowledges Bart. As he says this, he takes off his clothes until he is down to a red Speedo that he was wearing under his pants, getting ready for some beach fun. He then turns to face Fluttershy, but before he can say anything to her, she gives him a playful little nudge on the belly, making him giggle a bit.

"Hey, that tickles!" Bart laughs as Fluttershy nudges him a few more times in the belly, making him laugh some more each time.

"Hey, I'm just messin' with you," Fluttershy shrugs. "So, uh, what do you wanna do?"

Bart thinks for a second as he looks out to the ocean, then he says, "Ooh, I've got an idea!" He tells Fluttershy his idea, to which she reacts, "Uh, I'll try it, but are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine," Bart replies nonchalantly as he gets onto Fluttershy back. "Now c'mon, fly!"

Heaving a sigh, Fluttershy starts beating her wings viciously, as it is taking a considerable effort for her to get airborne due to Bart's weight. But she manages to get about 85 feet in the air and to fly to a spot above a location in which the water is about 30 feet deep. "This good?"

"It's perfect," affirms Bart. "Now watch me!" With that, Bart suddenly leaps off of Fluttershy's back, yelling "Geronimo!" as he cannonballs towards the ocean…

Bart hits the ocean surface, plunging underneath with a splash. Upon the impact, Fluttershy flies down to the area where he hit, concerned for her friend. And just a few seconds later, Bart's head pops up out of the water.

"You alright?" Fluttershy asks.

"Are you kidding?" scoffs Bart. "That was awesome! Pick me up – I want to do that again!"

"Um… OK." Fluttershy nervously replies as Bart climbs back up onto her back. She flies back up in the air again, this time 100 feet up. "Alright, now watch this!" Bart smirks as he jumps off of Fluttershy's back once again, this time yelling, "Cowabunga!" as he falls towards the water… and does a bellyflop right into the ocean.

Again, Fluttershy drops down to check on her friend as his head pops back up out of the ocean with a big smile on his face. "You wanna do that again?"

"Nah, I think I'll swim back."

"Well wouldn't you like a lift there?"

"It would be more fun if I swam. You go on to the shore and don't worry about it."

"Uh, I think I should fly along in case something should happen."

"Suit yourself."

Bart then proceeds with the long swim back to shore, with Fluttershy flanking him from above. For Bart, swimming the entire distance is a considerable effort – nonetheless, he impresses both himself and Fluttershy as he strokes his way towards the shore.

Next thing he knows, as he gets close to the shore, a wave that is right behinds him breaks. It picks Bart up and he bodysurfs the wave, screaming "Woo-hoo!" as he is carried by the wave onto the edge of the beach.

"That… was… so… awesome!" Bart says as he pants heavily, trying to catch his breath.

"You need to rest up," says Fluttershy. "And holy Celestia, your belly is so red!"

"It's a small price to pay for a kickass bellyflop like that," replies Bart. "But yeah, I need to friggin' lie down after that!"

"Yeah, I'm tired, too," says Fluttershy. She then sits down on the beach sand at the edge of the waves while Bart lies down flat on his back beside her, breathing heavily as he continues to catch his breath from the daredevil stunts he's pulled off. Eventually he's relaxed as the waves splash upon him as they hit the shore, and with time, he goes into a bit of a trancelike state…

He is suddenly awakened by a sudden licking sensation on his belly button – without warning, Fluttershy has started to affectionately lick his belly button, making him writhe around uncontrollably as he laughs hysterically, begging her to stop. Fluttershy, however, continues to lick him on the belly button for a while, gleeful feelings flowing through her as she messes around with her friend.

But in time, she lays off and helps Bart up while he's still laughing. He laughs some more and then starts to stay something when suddenly;

"There you are, Fluttershy!" Fluttershy's sister figure Rainbow Dash flies down upon the scene, having been looking for her for some time now, but not having any luck until now. As she lands, she asks, "What the heck are you doing hell and gone down here with Bart?"

"Just two friends enjoying a day at the beach, that's all," answers Fluttershy.

"Hmmm…" Rainbow Dash slowly trots up to Bart with a look on her face that shows suspicion. Bart gulps a little bit, afraid of what she might do to her, especially since it was his own father who denied her the Cartoon Cup Series championship at the end of last season. But his fright turns to delight when Rainbow Dash gives him a little nudge on the cheek.

"Hey, any friend of Fluttershy's is a friend of mine!" she smiles as she gives Bart a playful noogie, adding, "You're alright, Bart."

"Uh, thanks, Dash."

"Say, you look like a fellow daredevil," Rainbow Dash adds, hinting at Bart's still-red belly. "You look like you took one hell of a bellyflop."

"From 100 feet up!" affirms Bart. "And I bodysurfed on the way back, too!"

Rainbow Dash says nothing at first; she simply holds up her hoof, offering Bart a fist-bump, which he gladly takes. Rainbow Dash then says to Fluttershy, "You know, I wasn't so sure at first, but I think you've made a real good choice of a friend, Fluttershy."

"Yeah, it's such a real shame that his parents have stopped caring," sighs Fluttershy. "He really is a sweet kid."

Bart can't help but be flattered a bit at this remark. Then, before he knows it, both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are nudging him on his bare belly with their noses as a way of showing affection. Each nudge makes Bart gleefully giggle a bit. While Rainbow Dash nudges his belly some more, Fluttershy then Eskimo kisses him on the nose, giggling herself as Bart continues to laugh in delight.

Without warning, Rainbow Dash then knocks Bart flat on his back, and she and Fluttershy both lick his belly relentlessly and with great vigor, turning Bart's laughter up to a hysterical level as he cries out "Aah, you're killin' me!" He writhes around helplessly on the sand as they continue to lick him – Fluttershy then starts licking his cheek while Rainbow Dash blows a series of raspberries on his belly button. While Bart is unable to catch his breath throughout all of his laughing caused by these gestures, he is nonetheless in a state of delight over the affection provided by these ponies.

In time, they both lay off and let Bart laugh it out. Once he does, they take his hands with their hooves and help him to his feet. But before he can say anything, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy both suddenly bombard him with a series of licks across both his cheeks; these make him laugh in a more giggling sort of nature.

When they're done, Bart catches his breath and says, "You ponies are too much, you know that?"

"Hey, you're real fun to be around," Fluttershy smiles.

"Yeah, Fluttershy's right," affirms Rainbow Dash as she rubs Bart's head with her hoof. "You really are a sweet kid."

As Bart displays a big smile on his face, Rainbow Dash looks out towards the setting sun and notices the lateness of the hour. "Well, I think I ought to head back to Daytona," she says. "You two take care of each other, now. Oh, and Bart?" She then spreads her arms. "Give Dashie a hug!"

Without hesitation, Bart falls into Rainbow Dash's arms, giggling even more as she kisses him hard on both cheeks. After pulling apart, Rainbow Dash takes off into the air, shouting back to Bart, "See ya 'round, kid!" as she sets course back for Daytona.

As Bart and Fluttershy watch Rainbow Dash fly away, Bart says, "Man, I can't remember the last time I had this awesome of a beach day with my own family."

"I keep telling you, they'll come around," Fluttershy interjects. "Seriously, don't be too hard on them. Now c'mon, let's head back to that restaurant, I'm hungry!"

"Right behind you," proclaims Bart as he gets his clothes back on. Then he and Fluttershy head back to Racing's North Turn restaurant to get dinner…


	34. Coke Zero 400

** We're about to pass the halfway mark of the 2****nd**** NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, and we will do so at the track where it all began; Daytona International Speedway! For those of you who don't remember, this track is a 2.5-mile tri-oval. The turns are banked at 31 degrees, the tri-oval is banked at 18 degrees and the backstretch is banked at 2 degrees.**

** And you should certainly remember that this is one of the two tracks where the cars use restrictor plates to keep speeds down for the sake of safety – this leads to cars running in large packs, using aerodynamic drafting to keep their speeds up, which ironically usually leads to at least one big multi-car crash, colloquially known as the Big One.**

** Anyway, this will be a Saturday night race, run over 160 laps for a total of 400 miles.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Francine Smith (#36)**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**6. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**7. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**8. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**9. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**11. The Warden (#32)**

**12. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**13. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**14. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**15. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**16. Bender (#22)**

**17. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**18. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**19. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**20. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**21. Beavis (#24)**

**22. Katara (#34)**

**23. Butt-Head (#48)**

**24. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**25. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**26. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**27. Edd (#29)**

**28. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**29. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**30. Frylock (#15)**

**31. Eddy (#31)**

**32. Aang (#35)**

**33. Applejack (#18)**

**34. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**35. Ed (#27)**

**36. Meatwad (#56)**

**37. Sokka (#38)**

**38. William Murderface (#47)**

**39. Hank Hill (#95)**

**40. Grim (#33)**

**41. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**42. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**43. Stan Smith (#7)**

**TNT?**

Alexander: Happy 4th of July Weekend, everyone! We're back in central Florida at the World Center of Racing, Daytona International Speedway! The restrictor plates will be on, the pack racing will be big, as will at least one of the wrecks tonight as we get ready to cross the halfway mark in this Cartoon Cup Series season, the Coke Zero 400. Hello again, I'm Adam Alexander with Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty, thanks for having us in for this race. Guys, with the feuds that have sprung up since we came here last, what sort of chaos do you think we'll see here tonight?

Dallenbach: Difficult to say, but you may notice that Ahsoka Tano and Rainbow Dash are starting 7th and 9th, respectively. That brings me to what really surprises me – Ahsoka has only used her lightsaber once this season; remember that one time she used it to slash Rainbow Dash's tires? Anyway, I'm waiting for her to crack.

Petty: Well on the other hand, Danny Phantom is starting 26th, while his nemesis Stan Smith, who is also the current points leader, is starting dead last. But remember last week – Danny was aiming that energy ball at Stan, but he wound up hitting his wife Francine instead. Word is, Stan is more pissed at Danny than he's ever been, and I don't think I wanna stick around to see what he may do today.

Alexander: But we may end up doing so anyway, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshalls, some of the most infamous predatory creatures ever to roam the African Serengeti – Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed!

Shenzi: Ladies and gentletoons…

Banzai: …start your engines!

Ed: (indistinct laughing)

**The cars fire their engines – even though they only pack 445 hp apiece, as opposed to the normal 865 hp, they're still more than powerful enough to get the fans pumped up. Then they start the warm-up laps;**

Alexander: Kim Possible, who got her first win earlier this year is on pole, and Francine Smith, coming off of Danny Phantom's failed attempt at attacking her husband will start 2nd. You'll find Hoagie Gilligan's Blue Deuce in 3rd, and beside him in 4th is the fast food drink, Master Shake. The rookie Hank Venture, who's been down on his luck thus far will start 5th, and Britain's own Ferb Fletcher will roll out from 6th. In 7th is another rookie, the Jedi Ahsoka Tano, and Peter Griffin will be 8th. Then in 9th it will be the pony Rainbow Dash, and rounding out the top 10 will be Spongebob SquarePants. Now as you look through the rest of the starting grid, Kyle Petty will try and talk to someone;

Petty: Francine Smith, it's Kyle Petty from TNT, you got me?

Francine: Yeah, sure.

Petty: First off, let me ask about what happened last week-

Francine: Honestly, I was originally trying to talk Stan out of his little disagreement with Danny, I really was! But after that ghost-fag had the audacity to wreck me, his wife – now I'm all for anything that Stan may want to do with him, even if it involves first-degree murder!

Petty: Sounds harsh. Anyway, how do you plan on attack this race?

Francine: I'm honestly thinking of hooking up with Stan, first. He may be back in last place, but I trust him more than anyone else in this field of cars. Hopefully, on our way up front, we'll be able to take that damned phantom out of this race!

Petty: Uh… OK, well, thanks for speaking with us and best of luck to you both.

Francine: Thanks, KP.

…

**Eventually, the pace car pulls off onto pit road. The cars creep forward – then the green flag is flown, turning them all loose.**

Alexander: And we're on under the lights at Daytona!

**Kim Possible maintains the lead going through turns 1 and 2. Meanwhile, on the backstretch, Francine Smith willingly gives up her 2****nd**** starting position, letting everyone go by her and falling to the back of the pack so that she may hook up with her husband Stan Smith.**

Hayley: Dad's right behind you, Mom; you are good to go.

Francine: 10-4, Hayley.

**On lap 4, as the pack continues to go double-file, Hank Venture ends up in the center line with no help, and falls out of the top 10 rapidly.**

Hank: Dammit, why the hell doesn't anyone want to draft with me.

Dean: It's only lap 3 – you'll find someone.

Hank: 10-4.

**On lap 9, Hoagie Gilligan, with drafting help from Ferb Fletcher, slingshots around Kim Possible and gets in line in front of her, assuming the lead.**

Kim: Where the hell did that lard-ass come from?

Tommy: Clear – you're in the lead.

Wally: Great drivin', mate!

Hoagie: Heh heh, 10-4.

**Ahsoka Tano cracks the top 5 on lap 15.**

** On lap 21, Stan and Francine Smith both get back up into the top 30.**

** On lap 25, much to Hoagie's surprise, Ferb Fletcher makes a sudden slingshot move and gets around with drafting help from Peter Griffin. This leaves Hoagie in the middle with no drafting help.**

Hoagie: They're goin' right by me, what the hell!

Wally: That's okay, we'll come back.

**By lap 29, Hoagie has fallen out of the top 10.**

** On lap 33, Peter Griffin, backed my Master Shake, slingshots around Ferb Fletcher for the lead.**

** Around this same time, Danny Phantom is running in 27****th**** and is locked in a vicious battle for 25****th**** with Stan and Francine Smith. By lap 36, being held at bay by both his nemesis and his nemesis's wife really wears his patience thin.**

Danny: Oh, he is so asking for it!

Tucker: Uh, best not try anything too drastic, Danny.

Sam: Yeah, you already took things too far when you hit Francine last week.

Danny: Watch me…

…

Alexander: Smoke on the racetrack – Danny Phantom has just hit Stan Smith with an energy ball and it has destroyed his engine; caution is out!

Danny: Ha! Got 'im that time.

Stan: AAARRRRGGH! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL, GHOST-FAG!

Roger: We seriously need to find a way to neutralize him before he kills us… or Frannie.

**On lap 36, Danny Phantom launches an energy ball at Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet – it scores a direct hit on the hood, melts through and hits the engine, causing it to explode violently. As smoke billows and fluid leaks out from the back of his car, Stan manages to pull down to the apron without wrecking anyone, cursing Danny's name as he coasts onto pit road and into the garage area, ending the race for him.**

** As the track crews work to clean up the fluid from Stan's car, the surviving racers make their way onto pit road, with everyone getting four drivers and fuel. Everything proceeds smoothly, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Master Shake (#55)**

**3. Kim Possible (#51)**

**4. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**7. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**9. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**The race restarts on lap 40.**

** Hank Venture falls out of the top 10 on lap 46.**

** Danny Phantom moves up into the top 20 on lap 51.**

** A lead change then occurs on lap 55, when Master Shake, backed by Ahsoka Tano, uses the side draft of from Peter Griffin's car to take the lead from him.**

Shake: Heh heh heh! Remember, ANYONE can win at Daytona!

Peter: Dammit, I'm not gonna get one-upped by a fuckin' fast food drink – or a stinkin' Jedi!

Anakin: Resist any temptation to pull any real drastic moves on the #55 car, Ahsoka. You could mess up and end up losing track position real fast.

Ahsoka: 10-4, Master.

**But on lap 62, Shake goes down into the center groove heading into turn 3. But Ahsoka elects to stay in the outside groove – all the cars in line with her follow. So Ahsoka ends up in the lead while Shake ends up in the middle with no help, falling way back.**

Shake: Goddammit, no one's letting me back in line! FUCK!

Ahsoka: Great – we're in the lead!

Anakin: Just don't get cocky, Snips.

Ahsoka: 10-4.

**On lap 67, Ahsoka's rival Rainbow Dash makes her way around Peter Griffin to get up to 2****nd**** place. And so the two enemies are running side-by-side on opposite sides of the track – Dash on the inside and Ahsoka has the outside. For the moment, Ahsoka's line has the advantage, and she's able to keep her front bumper ahead of Rainbow Dash's.**

** But by lap 71, the inside line gets a bit of a boost, and Rainbow Dash just edges her bumper ahead of Ahsoka's.**

Scootaloo: The #42's still outside of you, but you're ahead.

Rainbow Dash: I'll beat that Jedi bitch. You'll see…

**On lap 75…**

Alexander: Caution is out because of two cars wrecked on the backstretch – the #27 of Ed and the #31 of Eddy; both teammates at Richard Childress Racing!

Petty: It's hard to tell, but it looks like the #56 of Meatwad rammed Eddy and he went into Ed and they were just along for the ride.

Dallenbach: Boy I tell ya, they were so lucky no one else got caught in that.

Eddy: Piece of meat took us both out! He's gonna have another thing coming if Lumpy's not alright.

Rolf: I don't think we need to worry about lacking-a-lower-jaw Ed-boy.

Ed: Eddy just wrecked me! But… why?

Jonny: Plank says it was the #56 car who wrecked you both.

Ed: … Oh…

**On lap 75, while going down the backstretch, Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota rams into Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet, causing him to lose control and run into Ed's #27 Menard's Chevrolet. Both cars careen into the backstretch infield and go hard into the wall and each other, suffering heavy damage. Eddy and Ed, however, are okay. They get out of their cars and reassure each other as they're then taken on the mandatory trip to the infield care center.**

** Then, during the pit stops under yellow;**

Alexander: And we're getting word that Homer Simpson was too fast entering and exiting pit road – that'll be a pass-thru penalty.

Homer: D'OH!

Marge: Don't worry, Homey. We'll catch back up.

Bart: (under his breath) Yeah, like I give a rat's ass.

Homer: Why, you LITTLE…!

**Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**3. Kim Possible (#51)**

**4. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. The Warden (#32)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**The restart commences on lap 81. Ahsoka Tano chooses to start on the outside line – her side gets the better start, so she's able to retain the lead.**

** On lap 86, The Warden makes it up into the top 5.**

** Then on lap 90, the inside line starts to gain the upper hand, and by lap 94, Rainbow Dash is leading the pack once more.**

Rainbow Dash: Oh, how I love it when I get the upper hand on that Jedi pussylicker!

Fluttershy: Keep it up, Dashie.

**But by lap 99, holding the lead becomes more difficult for Rainbow Dash when a few cars, including Peter Griffin and The Warden, split off from the inside and outside lines and form a center line. One lap later, Peter Griffin, backed by The Warden and others, is running three-wide with Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano.**

Rainbow Dash: Where the hell did lard-ass come from?

Peter: Oh, I am SO takin' the lead now!

Ahsoka: I sense the #93 car is gonna pull something off here.

**For a few more laps, Peter, Dash and Ahsoka run three-wide; Dash is on the bottom, Peter is in the middle, and Ahsoka is on the top. By lap 104, the center line gets enough momentum for Peter to clear both Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano – he quickly switches to the outside line, pulling in front of Ahsoka Tano.**

Brian: Good job – you're the new race leader.

Peter: I told you I'd be takin' it!

Ahsoka: I hope the #93 knows what he's doing.

**With Peter having moved to a different line, The Warden loses momentum, along with all the cars running on the center line. He drops out of the top 5 on lap 109.**

Warden: That bastard! We're gonna fall way back now!

**On lap 111;**

Alexander: Caution is out; the #56 of Meatwad has blown his engine in turn 4.

Meatwad: Is this what I get for takin' out those pathetic Ed-boys? Fuck!

**On lap 111, Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota blows its engine. Dejected and frustrated, Meatwad coasts down pit road and into the garage area, ending his night.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**5. Kim Possible (#51)**

**6. Master Shake (#55)**

**7. The Warden (#32)**

**8. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**The race is restarted again in lap 115. Ahsoka Tano, with help from fellow rookie Daria Morgendorffer, reassumes the lead on lap 118.**

Ahsoka: Hey tell the #88 I said thanks.

Anakin: Like she'll care. This thing will be everyone for themselves on the final lap, so watch out!

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**Kim Possible falls out of the top 10 on lap 124.**

** On lap 128;**

Alexander: Oh, and a big crash in mid-pack in turn 1, five cars involved!

Dallenbach: Let's see, it's the #48, the #30, the #18, the #16 and the #29.

Petty: And none of them look like they can continue… incredible!

Butt-Head: Fucking bastards!

Jake: Well the car is toast, but I'm okay.

Applejack: Honestly, and they say us rednecks are bad drivers!

Danny: Man, the things I would've done to Stan if he was involved in this…

Edd: I don't know how it happened, but something went wrong and our vehicle is totally discombobulated. I'm unscathed, however.

**A multi-car crash occurs on lap 128, collecting Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet, Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, Applejack's #18 M & M's Toyota, Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford and Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet. No other cars receive any damage, but the #48, #30, #18, #16 and #29 are all totaled. The drivers, however, have no serious injuries.**

** As track crews are scrambling to clear the wreckage, the surviving cars take to pit road for their last service stops of the race. Everything goes without a hitch, and here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**5. Master Shake (#55)**

**6. The Warden (#32)**

**7. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**8. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

**The restart occurs on lap 135; 25 laps to go!**

** Daria Morgendorffer eases her way into the lead on lap 141.**

Daria: Wow, I think I have a chance at winning this one.

**The Warden moves back into the top 5 on lap 146.**

** Ferb Fletcher falls out of the top 10 on lap 153.**

** The white flag is thrown on lap 160; Ahsoka Tano moves up into the lead right after they cross the start/finish line; Daria Morgendorffer, Rainbow Dash, Peter Griffin and The Warden are all nipping at her heels. Going through turn 1;**

Alexander: Big crash in the back, six cars involved...

Dallenbach: They're not throwing out the caution – they're just gonna let 'em race.

**A six-car crash occurs in turn 1 on the final lap, taking out Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford, Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy Toyota, Abigail Lincoln's #5 Farmer's Insurance Chevrolet, Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford, Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford and Aang's #35 CSX Transportation Ford. But since this wreck is on the final lap, in the back of the pack and nowhere near the start/finish line, NASCAR decides to let the race go green.**

** Heading into turn 3, Ahsoka Tano has the lead and is running on the outside with Daria Morgendorffer right behind her; Rainbow Dash is running in the middle right alongside Ahsoka with The Warden and Peter Griffin right behind her. Then, going out of turn 4;**

Dallenbach: The Warden and Peter Griffin duck to the inside – Rainbow Dash is in the middle with no help!

Petty: And they're blowing right by her!

Alexander: Coming to the checkers – The Warden nips Ahsoka Tano at the line! The Warden wins the Coke Zero 400!

Warden: (gasp) Oh my God! I actually did it! I've finally won a race! WOO-HOO!

Ahsoka: (sigh) It really was everyone for themselves.

Anakin: You still did great, Snips.

Rainbow Dash: Unbelievable! I had that stupid race WON, and those bastards in the #32 and #93 shut me out! DAMMIT!

Fluttershy: (shakes head)

**After using a slingshot move on Rainbow Dash, The Warden just manages to get his bumper in the front and win the Coke Zero 400, while Ahsoka Tano settles for 2****nd****. Peter Griffin grabs 3****rd****, Daria Morgendorffer makes it to 4****th****, Rainbow Dash is 5****th****, Francine Smith takes 6****th****, Kim Possible places 7****th****, Master Shake claims 8****th****, Ferb Fletcher finishes 9****th**** and Hoagie P. Gilligan rounds out the top 10.**

** Shortly thereafter, The Warden finds himself celebrating his first NCCS career win in Victory Lane. TNT's Ralph Sheheen moves in for the interview;**

Ralph: Warden! How does this feel, finally winning your first race?

Warden: Incredible! Last season, I thought we were destined to always be nothing more than field-fillers. And while I was pleased with how much better we've done so far, I still wanted a win, which anyone can do at Daytona, of course. As for that last-lap battle, I didn't think I had a chance at Ahsoka even after me and Peter got by Rainbow Dash, and I'm still not sure how the hell we did pull it off, but by God, we did! And I just gotta thank FAS Lane Racing and all our sponsors, Frank Stoddard for letting me drive for this team, my crew chief and assistant Jared, and everyone back at Superjail – this win's for you!

Ralph: Great job, Warden.

Warden: Thanks.

**Coke Zero 400 race results;**

**1. The Warden (#32)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**4. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Francine Smith (#36)**

**7. Kim Possible (#51)**

**8. Master Shake (#55)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**11. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**12. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**13. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**14. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**15. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**16. Bender (#22)**

**17. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**18. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**19. Beavis (#24)**

**20. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**21. Katara (#34)**

**22. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**23. William Murderface (#47)**

**24. Hank Hill (#98)**

**25. Grim (#33)**

**26. Sokka (#38)**

**27. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**28. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**29. Aang (#35) (DNF; accident)**

**30. Dudley Puppy (#99) (DNF; accident)**

**31. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (DNF; accident)**

**32. Early Cuyler (#21) (DNF; accident)**

**33. Frylock (#15) (DNF; accident)**

**34. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Edd (#29) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Applejack (#18) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Jake Long [R] (#30) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Butt-Head (DNF; accident)**

**40. Meatwad (#56) (DNF; engine)**

**41. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Stan Smith (#7) (DNF; engine/accident)**

**Point standings after 18 of 36 races;**

**1. The Warden (#32); 417 points**

**2. Stan Smith (#7); 415 points**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 414 points**

**5. Peter Griffin (#93); 412 points**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20); 411 points**

**7. Nigel Uno (#1); 407 points**

**8. Master Shake (#55)/Homer Simpson (#83); 405 points**

**10. Ferb Fletcher (#9); 404 points**

**11. Kim Possible (#51)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 403 points**

**14. Foxxy Love (#98)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 402 points**

**16. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Bender (#22); 401 points**

**18. Beavis (#24)/William Murderface (#47)/Grim (#33); 400 points**

**21. Katara (#34)/Hank Hill (#95)/Eddy (#31); 399 points**

**24. Eric Cartman (#14)/Dudley Puppy (#99)/Abigail Lincoln (#5); 398 points**

**27. Timmy Turner (#17)/Sokka (#38)/Aang (#35)/Early Cuyler (#21)/Butt-Head (#48)/Meatwad (#56); 397 points**

**33. Frylock (#15)/Ed (#27); 396 points**

**35. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Edd (#29)/Jake Long [R] (#30); 395 points**

**38. Danny Phantom (#16)/Applejack (#18); 394 points**

**40. Francine Smith (#36); 393 points**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 392 points**

**42. Gumball Watterson (#87); 391 points**

**43. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 389 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 219 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 189 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 172 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 169 points**

**Next race; Camping World 301 at New Hampshire Motor Speedway.**


	35. Camping World 301

**We're now headed into the 2****nd**** half of the 2****nd**** NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, and the series is based way up in northern New England at New Hampshire Motor Speedway. Based in Loudon, New Hampshire, the track is a 1.058 mile oval. The turns are banked at 12 degrees and the straightaways are banked at 1 degree.**

** This race shall be known as the Camping World 301 – it will be run over 301 laps, equaling a total distance of 318.458 miles.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Edd (#29)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**7. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**8. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**9. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**10. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**11. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**12. Stan Smith (#7)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**14. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**15. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**16. Francine Smith (#36)**

**17. Applejack (#18)**

**18. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**19. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**20. Ed (#27)**

**21. Frylock (#15)**

**22. Aang (#35)**

**23. Butt-Head (#48)**

**24. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**25. Meatwad (#56)**

**26. Sokka (#38)**

**27. Eddy (#31)**

**28. Hank Hill (#95)**

**29. Beavis (#24)**

**30. Katara (#34)**

**31. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**32. Bender (#22)**

**33. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**34. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**35. Master Shake (#55)**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**37. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**38. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**39. Kim Possible (#51)**

**40. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**41. Grim (#33)**

**42. William Murderface (#47)**

**43. The Warden (#32)**

**This will be the last race broadcast by TNT for this season. Tuning onto them one more time;**

Alexander: It is a bittersweet weekend for us here at TNT, as this will be the last Cartoon Cup Series race we will be bringing to you this season. But we expect this to be a great way to close our season broadcast run, as the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is at the Magic Mile that is New Hampshire Motor Speedway for the running of race #19 in this season, the Camping World 301! I'm Adam Alexander, alongside Wally Dallenbach and Kyle Petty – one more time, thanks for having us in for the race.

Dallenbach: Now we have eight more races, including this one, before the Chase. And right now, it is quite literally ANYONE'S game, since there are only 28 points separating the points leader, The Warden, from Twilight Sparkle, who is in last place in the points. You may as well just spin a bottle, because for the moment, it looks like who gets in the Chase is all gonna come down to chance.

Petty: It's just so incredible how the standings have stayed this close literally all season long. Nowhere in the live-action Sprint Cup, Nationwide or Truck series do we see anything like this!

Alexander: Well said, Kyle. Let's go down trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, one of Hanna-Barbera's signature superheroes, Captain Caveman!

Caveman: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The cars all fire up their engines, warm them up, and then they begin the pace laps.**

Alexander: On the pole is the half-ghost Danny Phantom, and alongside him in 2nd is Edd. In 3rd, backed by his trusty fairy godparents is Timmy Turner, and in 4th is Eric Cartman. Abigail Lincoln is 5th – in 6th is her boyfriend, Hoagie Gilligan. Defending series champion Homer Simpson will roll out in 7th, and in 8th it will be Nigel Uno. The Pegasus Rainbow Dash is 9th, and rounding out the top 10 – Peter Griffin. And as you look through the rest of the starting grid, Wally Dallenbach will try and ring someone up one more time;

Wally: Peter Griffin, it's Wally Dallenbach from TNT, you got me?

Peter: Yeah, I got ya, Wally.

Wally: Well, you were one of our most fearsome competitors last season, but you still haven't won a race this time around. What would you say the odds are of ending said drought here today.

Peter: They sound good to me. Lois and the guys did a great job working on this car, and it's handled really well in practice, and pretty decent in qualifying, too. But still, when it comes to all these other characters, with their magic and their guns and their lightsabers – I'm surprised that I haven't already wound up dead because of all their antics. But I'll just do my best like I always do and see where that gets us.

Dallenbach: Well good luck out there, Peter.

Peter: 10-4, thanks.

**The pace car retreats to the pits after the pace laps are completed. Once the field of race cars crosses the restart line, the green flag flies and the cars go full throttle.**

Alexander: And for the last time on TNT this year, we have a green flag!

**Much to everyone's surprise, Edd winds up taking the lead from Danny Phantom on the first lap before they even get to the backstretch.**

Edd: Huh – I never knew I had it in me.

Nazz: I did. (blows kiss)

Danny: How the hell did he pull that off?

Sam: I don't know, but don't give up now – we've only just gotten started.

**Peter Griffin, coming off an excellent start, gets into the top 5 on lap 7.**

** Meanwhile, Edd has pulled ahead to a sizable lead. This owes mainly to the fact that Danny Phantom has his hands full with his own teammate, Timmy Turner – Timmy is trying to take the 2****nd**** spot from Danny, but Danny is trying like hell to keep that from happening.**

Timmy: Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the #16 car would-

Wanda: But sport! He's your teammate!

Timmy: (sigh) Fine, I'll race fairly for now…

**On lap 16, Gumball Watterson enters the top 10.**

** By lap 24, Danny Phantom has finally managed to get away from Timmy Turner.**

Danny: Whew, I can breathe easier now.

Tucker: Actually, you still have to catch the #29 car.

Danny: Oh… right. Roger that, Tuck!

**It takes a while, but by lap 39, Danny Phantom does indeed catch up to Edd, starting the battle for the lead.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 46, Peter Griffin is up to 3****rd**** place.**

** Then on lap 55;**

Danny: I'm goin' ghost!

Alexander: And the #16 just went intangible – he's just gone right through the #29 of Edd, and he is your new race leader!

Edd: Well that was a most perverse method of cheating that the #16 just utilized.

Danny: I knew we could get that scrawny geek, heh heh!

**On lap 64;**

Alexander: And we have a caution out for the #32 of The Warden – he has just lost his engine.

Warden: Aw, man! We go from race winners to this?

**On lap 64, The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford blows its engine. Frustrated, The Warden coasts onto pit road and into the garage, withdrawing from the race.**

** Katara's #34 Maximum Human Performance Ford, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** As track crews clean up the fluid, all the other cars go into the pits, with everyone taking four tires and fuel. After pit stops, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**2. Edd (#29)**

**3. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**4. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**6. Stan Smith (#7)**

**7. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**8. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**The race restarts on lap 70.**

** Stan Smith passes Timmy Turner to get into the top 5 on lap 77.**

** On lap 82, Peter Griffin passes Edd for 2****nd**** place.**

Peter: Alright! Time to put that phantom in his place!

**Meanwhile, on lap 89, Ahsoka Tano finds her way into the top 10.**

** On lap 93, Peter Griffin catches up to the rear bumper of Danny Phantom, which forces Danny to make a bunch of blocking maneuvers, swerving all over the track, trying to keep Peter behind him. It all works well, until lap 99…**

Alexander: Oh, they touch! Danny almost loses it! He saves it, but Peter has the lead!

Petty: Danny saving his car from something like that – it's just incredible!

Danny: Unbelievable! I ought to get that lard-ass for that!

Sam: You really want another asshole breathing down your neck, Danny? … Didn't think so.

Brian: You've cleared the #16, and you're in the lead, Peter.

Peter: Alright, let's see how we can hold it…

**On lap 104, the rookie Daria Morgendorffer enters the top 10.**

** Timmy Turner falls out of the top 5 on lap 111.**

** And Danny has more problems now – by lap 117, while he's still trying to catch back up with Peter Griffin, Edd is now filling up his rearview, trying to take 2****nd**** back.**

** But Danny holds on, and by lap 122, Edd starts to fall back.**

** Around this same time, we will see Timmy Turner back in 7****th**** place, battling the rookie Daria Morgendorffer for the 6****th**** spot. Daria, despite being as laid back as she normally is, is vicious on the track, blocking every move Timmy makes until, on lap 129;**

Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda! I wish the #88 car would flip over upside-down!

Wanda: You got it, sport!

Cosmo: Comin' right up…

…

Alexander: Big trouble in turn 1! The #88 of Daria Morgendorffer has gone over onto her roof!

Dallenbach: There was no contact or anything – she just spontaneously flipped over!

Petty: That's incredible!

Daria: How did- what the- what the hell just happened?!

**On lap 129, going through turn 1, Cosmo and Wanda cast magic that flips Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet over onto its roof. The car is totaled, and Daria is shocked out of her wits – nonetheless, she is unhurt.**

** Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 25****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**3. Edd (#29)**

**4. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**6. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**7. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**8. Stan Smith (#7)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**The race is restarted on lap 135.**

** On lap 141;**

Ignignokt: You're way off pace. What's the matter?

Shake: We have no oil pressure, goddammit!

Ignignokt: Bring it into the garage, then.

Shake: (sigh) 10-4.

**On lap 141, Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota loses all of its oil pressure. Dejected, Shake pulls onto pit road and into the team's garage, retiring from the event.**

** Rainbow Dash falls out of the top 10 on lap 149.**

** Homer Simpson passes Edd for 3****rd**** on lap 154, and by lap 157 is right behind Danny Phantom, challenging for the 2****nd**** position. As Danny tries like hell to hold Homer off, it allows Peter to gradually pull further and further away from them…**

** Then, on lap 162, Homer manages to get his front bumper inside of Danny's rear bumper in turn 3;**

Marge: You got him, Homey. We're up to 2nd place.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Bart: (facepalm)

Danny: Stupid lard-ass!

Tucker: Hey, that's how he won the championship last season, you know!

**Meanwhile, on lap 168, Abigail Lincoln falls out of the top 10.**

** Then, on lap 173;**

Ferb: Funny – our brakes appear to be incapacitated.

Baljeet: Seriously? (sigh) Looks like our race is over and done with.

**On lap 173, the brakes on Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford give out completely, forcing Ferb to retreat into the garage and quit the competition.**

** By lap 180, Homer Simpson has caught up to Peter Griffin, but on lap 185, before he can do anything;**

Alexander: Trouble in turn 2! Kim Possible and Spongebob SquarePants have wrecked each other, and the caution is out!

Kim: Honestly, why are they letting that sponge drive a racecar when he can't even drive a boat?!

Spongebob: (sigh) It's no wonder why I can't even get my boating license.

**On lap 185, Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet and Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet make contact in turn 2 – this causes them to lose control and crash hard into the outside retaining wall and each other, damaging both vehicles beyond repair.**

** Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 22****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Edd (#29)**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**7. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**8. Stan Smith (#7)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**The restart is done on lap 190.**

** For a fair number of laps after the restart, Homer Simpson stays right up with Peter Griffin, and does not let him get away. And on lap 198;**

Alexander: There he goes to the outside – Homer Simpson is your new race leader!

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Bart: (scoff)

Homer: Why, you LITTLE…!

**Meanwhile, on lap 205, Edd falls out of the top 5.**

** On lap 211;**

Foxxy: Goddammit, our transmission just broke! FUCK!

Clara: Maybe it was the way you were driving the car – I still say blacks are just as bad at driving as Chinese people.

Foxxy: You BITCH!

**On lap 211, Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford breaks its transmission. Foxxy takes out her frustrations on her car's dash board as she limps onto pit road and into the garage, being forced to drop out of the race.**

** Back up front, on lap 219, Peter Griffin has caught back up to Homer Simpson, and he is now challenging to take the lead back once again. Homer, however, holds him off, but then he has a slip-up on lap 226;**

Alexander: Homer ALMOST loses it in turn 4!

Dallenbach: Peter Griffin's back in the lead.

Petty: It's incredible how he kept it from spinning out.

Brian: You've cleared the #83 and you're back in the lead, Peter.

Peter: Freakin' sweet!

Homer: D'OH!

**At around lap 234, nobody notices it, but there is a heated battle for the 29****th**** position – Kenny McCormick currently holds that position and Grim is trying to take it away. But much to Grim's surprise, Kenny does not let him pass, so on lap 240, Grim grabs hold of a scythe that he brought in the car with him and sticks it out the window, pointing it at Kenny…**

Alexander: OH, AND THE #39 CAR JUST BLEW UP!

Petty: THAT'S INCREDIBLE! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!

Dallenbach: SOMETHING SHOT AT HIM FROM THE COCKPIT OF THE #33!

Grim: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**On lap 240, Grim shoots a blast out from his scythe, which hits Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, causing it to explode. The race is immediately red-flagged to clear the wreckage.**

…

** After what seems like an eternity, the remnants of the #39 car are cleared, and the race gets back underway under a caution. During the caution, the cars still on-track make their final pit stops of the race. Nothing goes wrong during pit stops, and this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**9. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**The race restarts once more on lap 250. Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson get excellent starts, leaving everyone else in their dust.**

** Rainbow Dash falls back out of the top 10 on lap 258.**

** On lap 261, Nigel Uno passes Timmy Turner for 4****th**** place, and on lap 269, he passes Danny Phantom for 3****rd**** place.**

** Stan Smith then passes Timmy Turner for the 4****th**** position on lap 274, and sets his sights on his nemesis, Danny Phantom. Danny, however, is too far ahead of him to be touched.**

** Eric Cartman climbs back into the top 10 on lap 282.**

** Meanwhile, Homer Simpson retakes the lead on lap 290; Peter Griffin takes it back just four laps later.**

** Peter is still leading when the white flag flies on lap 301; Homer stays right on his tail through turns 1 & 2. But going into turn 3, he loses ground, effectively sealing the outcome of this race.**

Alexander: And Homer has nothing left for his teammate. Checkered flag – Peter Griffin wins the Camping World 301!

Peter: Yes! 'Bout freakin' time we won a race!

Lois: Damn straight, Peter! (blows kiss)

Homer: Man, why'd I have to blow it on that last turn? I would've had that race WON!

Bart: (under his breath) Serves both of you right.

Homer/Marge: ...

**Peter Griffin holds off Homer Simpson to win the Camping World 301 – Homer has to settle for 2****nd****. Edd is 3****rd****, Danny Phantom finishes 4****th****, Nigel Uno gets 5****th****, Ahsoka Tano takes 6****th****, Timmy Turner comes in 7****th****, Abigail Lincoln claims 8****th****, Eric Cartman places 9****th****, and Stan Smith rounds out the top 10.**

…

Sheheen: Peter Griffin, your first win of the season. Talk us through that final battle with your teammate, Homer.

Peter: Well it still amazes me how we were both able to leave those other losers in our dust. Honestly, I thought that it may have been over when Homer passed me with 11 laps to go – how I got back by him with 7 laps to go, much less held him off to the end is still beyond me. But either way, it's about time we won one this season, and I have to thank everyone on this team for making this possible. Boy, I'm really looking forward to making the Chase again this year!

Sheheen: Good luck with that, Peter.

Peter: Thanks.

**Peter Griffin's wife and crew chief Lois Griffin appears beside him and they have their victory kiss.**

** Camping World 301 race results;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**2. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**3. Edd (#29)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**8. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**9. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**11. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**12. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**13. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**14. Francine Smith (#36)**

**15. Applejack (#18)**

**16. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**17. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**18. Eddy (#31)**

**19. Ed (#27)**

**20. Frylock (#15)**

**21. Butt-Head (#48) (1 lap down)**

**22. Beavis (#24) (1 lap down)**

**23. Meatwad (#56) (1 lap down)**

**24. Early Cuyler (#21) (1 lap down)**

**25. Dudley Puppy (#99) (1 lap down)**

**26. Bender (#22) (1 lap down)**

**27. Sokka (#38) (2 laps down)**

**28. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (2 laps down)**

**29. Gumball Watterson (#87) (2 laps down)**

**30. Aang (#35) (2 laps down)**

**31. Katara (#34) (3 laps down)**

**32. Grim (#33) (3 laps down)**

**33. Ben Tennyson (#10) (3 laps down)**

**34. William Murderface (#47) (4 laps down)**

**35. Hank Hill (#95) (4 laps down)**

**36. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Foxxy Love (#98) (DNF; transmission)**

**38. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Kim Possible (#51) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (DNF; brakes)**

**41. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; oil pressure)**

**42. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**43. The Warden (#32) (DNF; engine)**

**Point standings after 19 of 36 races;**

**1. Peter Griffin (#93); 460 points**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 452 points**

**3. Stan Smith (#7); 449 points**

**4. Homer Simpson (#83); 448 points**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1); 446 points**

**6. Rainbow Dash (#20); 443 points**

**7. Edd (#29); 437 points**

**8. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 436 points**

**9. Danny Phantom (#16); 435 points**

**10. Timmy Turner (#17)/Abigail Lincoln (#5); 434 points**

**12. Eric Cartman (#14); 433 points**

**13. Eddy (#31); 425 points**

**14. Jake Long [R] (#30); 424 points**

**15. Francine Smith (#36)/Applejack (#18); 423 points**

**17. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Beavis (#24); 422 points**

**19. Ed (#27); 421 points**

**20. Twilight Sparkle/Frylock (#48)/Butt-Head (#48); 420 points**

**23. Bender (#22); 419 points**

**24. Meatwad (#56)/The Warden (#32); 418 points**

**26. Early Cuyler (#21)/Dudley Puppy (#99); 417 points**

**28. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 416 points**

**29. Sokka (#38); 414 points**

**30. Katara (#34)/Grim (#33)/Ben Tennyson (#10); 412 points**

**33. Aang (#35); 411 points**

**34. William Murderface (#47)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 410 points**

**36. Foxxy Love (#98)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 409 points**

**38. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Hank Hill (#95)/Kim Possible (#51)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Master Shake (#55); 408 points**

**43. Gumball Watterson (#87); 406 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 234 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 196 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 180 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 178 points**

**Next race; Crown Royal 400 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway.**


	36. The Godchild and the Fangirl

This next side story is set a week after the Camping World 301, in the town of Dimmsdale, California, the home of NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series driver Timmy Turner.

Last week in New Hampshire, Timmy scored a 7th place finish in the Camping World 301 and moved up to 10th in the point standings, tied with Abigail Lincoln. Currently, the Cartoon Cup Series is taking a weekend off, and this is allowing all of the drivers, Timmy included, to take some much-needed down time.

Right now, Timmy is just taking a casual late-afternoon walk by himself down the streets across town. As much as he likes going fast, it is, to him, nice to just be going slow and steady during this off-weekend, especially since slow and steady does not win any NASCAR races! As he walks, he takes the time do something that he never did before he got into NASCAR – consciously inhale and relish the fresh air around him, which serves as a pleasant contrast to the gasoline, motor oil and other automotive stenches that he has dealt with week in and week out at the track.

Suddenly, as he is walking by a neighborhood adjacent to Dimmsdale Elementary School, he is unpleasantly and painfully startled by an incredibly hard punch in the side that knocks him off of his feet and onto the hard concrete sidewalk. "Hey, Turner!" jabs a huge, grotesque child named Francis. "Nice race last week – LOSER!"

"Uh… I-I finished 7th-" Timmy stammers as he tries to get to his feet. But then Francis grabs him and picks him up by his collar, saying once again, "LOSER!" which he follows up with a swift punch right square in the nose.

Blood starts to flow from Timmy's broken nose as he is thrown down hard to the concrete face-first. Whimpering sounds come from Timmy's lungs – these turn to painful grunts as Francis begins to stomp on him relentlessly with his feet, which are like boulders as they come down with full force on Timmy's back. Timmy, too hurt and traumatized to even get back up, cannot do a thing to prevent Francis from pulling his underwear up from out of his pants to the top of his head, which he then pounds with all his might onto the concrete, inducing cuts and bruises and extreme pain from the blunt force trauma caused by bone-on-concrete contact.

Suddenly, as Francis starts to strangle the defenseless Timmy, a fancy-looking limousine pulls up to the scene, parking on the side of the road not far away. Francis, afraid that he may end up being busted, makes a break for it, leaving Timmy lying battered and bruised on the hard, hot sidewalk. As soon as Francis disappears from sight, a door to the limo opens, and a figure comes out…

"Trixie," Timmy intones. Trixie refers to Trixie Tang, a snobby, wealthy, and really physically attractive Asian girl on whom Timmy has had a long-time crush. When Timmy sees her walk up to him, a flicker of hope can be seen in his eyes – he believes that since Trixie has arrived on the scene, that he is saved.

But that hope fades once Trixie lets out a loud, snobbish laugh at his situation. Timmy's heart sinks inside of him as Trixie forces his face into the pavement and rubs it in, saying, "How's it feel, LOSER?!" She then turns Timmy over onto his back, spreads his legs, and gives him a hard, perfectly-placed kick in the balls. An ear-shattering scream, coupled with the appearance of two tears from his eyes, indicate just how much pain has just been inflicted on Timmy.

"Shows how masculine you are," Trixie mocks as her boyfriend, the rich jackass known as Remy Buxaplenty, shows up by her side. "C'mon babe, let's leave this fag lying in his own blood where he belongs." With that, Trixie and Remy share a brief kiss on the lips and head back towards their limo, arm-in-arm.

Back behind them, Cosmo and Wanda, Timmy's fairy godparents, teleport to the scene – both gasp in utter disbelief at the state of pain Timmy is in. As Wanda flies down to try and aid Timmy, Cosmo looks out at Trixie and Remy as they head to their limo. Reasoning that they were responsible, a look of sheer rage and carnal fury bestows Cosmo's face. He clenches his wand with hate and points it in the direction of Trixie and Remy…

"AVADA KEDAV-"

"Cosmo!" Before Cosmo can cast the curse that would've sealed Trixie and Remy's fates, Wanda grabs him just in time to prevent the spell from being cast. "Don't you think that may be overkill?"

"Hey, our godchild's heart is broken and those assholes are gonna pay!" Cosmo turns back towards Trixie and Remy's direction and once again raises his wand. "AVADA KEDAV-"

"COSMO! They're gone, you idiot!" Having been brought to his senses by his wife, Cosmo sees that Trixie and Remy have indeed left the scene in their limo. He facepalms in disappointment, then he and Wanda fly down to Timmy, who's curled up in the fetal position, sobbing and crying over the physical punishment he's been dealt, coupled with the face that the girl he'd always crushed on was now with another boy – a boy he'd always hated, no less.

Seeing no other possible remedy, Cosmo and Wanda do the only thing they think they can do – they wrap Timmy in their arms and try to comfort him. "Oh, my poor Timmy!" Wanda croons. "Is there anything we can do for you, sport?"

"Just say the word and we'll make it happen," Cosmo says, trying and failing to sound optimistic.

Timmy, who would normally have some insane wish in mind when faced with certain social situations, cannot think of anything that his godparents can do for him, mainly because he had never contemplated what to do when suffering from a broken heart or any other situation with this high a pain threshold, and partly also because his extremely saddened emotional state is clouding his thinking somewhat.

"I…just want to be alone right now." Timmy chokes in between sobs.

"Are you sure?" asks Wanda, to which Timmy nods as the tears fall.

Realizing there's nothing they can do but pray, Cosmo and Wanda give him one more hug and kiss, and then they teleport away, saying, "We love you, Timmy…!"

Timmy struggles to get to his feet. When he does, he heaves his body, slowly but surely towards home. All the while, tears continue to fall and he continues to sob lightly whilst whispering to himself, "Oh, Trixie! Why…?"

…

Meanwhile Tootie, the homely girl who's always had a crush on, and has befriended Timmy, is relaxing quietly on the front porch of her house. Normally at this time of day, she would be getting abused by her older sister Vicky. But right now, Vicky is out on her babysitting business torturing other children, and this is giving Tootie time to relax and think about things, such as how and when she will become more than just friends with Timmy. That's when she takes notice of a figure painfully limping by her house on the sidewalk. It takes a second for Tootie to fully register the appearance of this figure, but when she does, her eyes nearly pop out of her head.

"TIMMY!" Immediately, Tootie gets to her feet and rushes up to Timmy – needless to say, she cannot believe her eyes when she sees the unbelievably squalid physical and emotional condition her friend/crush is in – bruised and bloodied all over, tears coming out of his eyes and light sobs coming out of his mouth.

"Oh, my God! Who did this to you, Timmy?" Tootie asks, to which Timmy says nothing – he just continues to let his emotions out. "Oh, here, let me get you inside." Tootie brings Timmy's arm around her shoulders and her free arm around his waist, assisting him into her house and onto the living room couch.

"My God, you're hurt!" Tootie gasps at the sight of the blood on Timmy. "Here, let me get a first aid kit." Quickly, Tootie runs to the kitchen and gets a small first-aid kit with disinfectant and bandages inside, along with two tissues, and then runs back to Timmy, who's crying has subsided – of course, his emotional pain still hasn't healed. Without further ado, Tootie examines the entirety of Timmy's body, which includes rolling up his pant legs and lifting up his shirt (without taking it off), to check for cuts and bruises. She washes each cut with disinfectant and bandages them up, then she kisses every cut and bruise on him.

As she proceeds to dry Timmy's tears with the tissue, she says, "Now tell me what happened."

"Well," Timmy says shakily, "I was out for a walk, and then Francis came and beat me up – worse than what he normally does."

"Oh my!" Tootie says with genuine concern in her voice.

"And then," Timmy continues, "Trixie Tang showed up, and I thought she would save me, but then – she beat me up, and then she ran off with that bastard Remy Buxaplenty!" At this point, Timmy starts to sob and shed tears again. "Trixie's a mean gold digger! I can't believe I was ever attracted to that… to that… BITCH!"

Suddenly, Timmy loses the ability to speak or catch his breath as he breaks down into a sobbing fit once again over the thought of him having crushed over such a snobby girl for so long. "Aww, it's okay, Timmy," Tootie coos as she wraps her arms around Timmy. "You don't need someone like Trixie – girls like her only date boys for their money so that they don't have to work. That's not true love. You're better off without her."

Timmy says nothing – he continues to cry into Tootie's chest, venting his heartbreak. Tootie continues to hold him in her arms, and even rocks him back and forth a bit, all the while thinking, "Oh, I hope I'll win Timmy over for this…!"

In time, Timmy's sobbing subsides, yet he continues to cling to Tootie, on account of his current delicate emotional state. All the while, he is also in a state of deep thought, from which he realizes that Tootie is right about Trixie – she had always looked down on him, and even when he did manage to impress her, something ran amiss and nothing happened. Aside from that, she was indeed very snobby, arrogant, and retarded, possibly due to the insane amount of wealth she was born into – neither of which are ingredients for true love.

Timmy's thoughts are then on Tootie. She, in contrast to Trixie, had always loved him, but he had, for the longest time, shunned away from her. But she then managed to befriend him after she gave him a massage to fix his sore back after a crash at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, and ever since then, Tootie had become arguably Timmy's best friend, maybe even better than AJ and Chester. And now, she's even gone as far as to treat and clean his wounds and to hold him as he chokes back the sobs of a broken heart – something Trixie would've never, EVER done. As Timmy comes to realize just how much better Tootie has treated him than Trixie has, this, combined with his present emotions, drives him to do something he never thought he'd ever do;

"Uh, Tootie?"

"Yeah, Timmy?"

"Listen – you were right. Trixie's a no-good whore. Shallow, mean and dumb, like all rich jackoffs. She's not for me. You, on the other hand, have been very good to me since early this NASCAR season – I've really warmed up to you a lot, and now, I really regret not looking at you this way before."

"What are you saying?" Tootie asks with the hopes that this will lead where she thinks it will lead.

"I'm saying…" Timmy starts. He hesitates before saying softly awkwardly, "I'd be lucky to have you."

"Awww!" Prompted to make her move, Tootie cups Timmy's face in her hands and gives him a gentle, but firm kiss on the lips that lasts for about one second. She then stares into Timmy's eyes with a sweet smile on her face that totally masks how nervous she really is to how Timmy will react. As for Timmy, it takes a while for what just happened between him and Tootie to sink in. But once it does, he is so touched that without warning, he collapse into Tootie's arms, sobbing and crying harder than before. Tootie becomes even more nervous, as she is not sure what this emotional display is all about, exactly. But she gets her answer to that question when Timmy, in between sobs, chokes out these words; "I…love…you…Tootie!"

When Tootie hears these words, she instantly feels like screaming at the top of her lungs and bouncing off the walls like a raving lunatic over having finally won her crush over. But instead, she plays it cool; she simply replies softly, "Aww, I love you too, Timmy." She kisses Timmy on the cheek and says, "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here for you, sweetie." And she continues to hold him as he lets his emotions out, all the while, her mind is squeeing, "YES! I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT! TIMMY IS MY BOYFRIEND NOW! EEEEEEE!

Eventually, Timmy calms down, and Tootie promptly dries the tears from his face and has him blow his nose out into the tissue. When that's done, both parts of the new couple simply sit in silence. Then Timmy looks up to the face of his new partner;

"Uh, Tootie?"

"Yeah, Timmy?"

Timmy, hoping to show that he really meant it when he said that he would be lucky to have Tootie and that he fallen for her, does so by kissing Tootie on the lips, in the form of a soft and gentle, but firm kiss reminiscent of the one she gave him. He looks at Tootie, waiting nervously for a reply.

Said reply comes in the form of Tootie's lips locking against his; this time, she holds them in place and does not let go. She wraps her arms around Timmy while continuing to gently make out with him. And Timmy reciprocates by simply wrapping his arms around Tootie, and simply relaxing and enjoying this intimate moment with his new girl.

For a good while, Tootie continues to kiss and hold Timmy, causing both of their hearts to jump like crazy over the feelings of love and closeness that are permeating through the both of them. Timmy has almost practically lost all of his rational thought when he suddenly feels Tootie lifting up his shirt, trying to take it off…

"Tootie, wait!" Timmy says, breaking it off before Tootie can get his shirt off. "I, uh, don't think I'm ready for any funny business right now."

"But, we just-" Tootie protests.

"I know, and I'm really grateful," Timmy explains, "but bear with me – I've just come off from an emotional breakdown, and I think I'll need some time for my feelings to get under control before we try anything weird. I hope you understand."

"Yes, I do," Tootie says in disappointment. But her dissatisfaction is set aside when she gets an idea; spreading her arms, she asks, "Well, can I at least hold you?"

With a big smile on his face, Timmy falls into Tootie's arms and the two cuddle up to each other as closely and tightly as they can.

"Hey Tootie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you!"

"Heeheehee, I love you too, Timmy!" Tootie giggles as she gives Timmy a cute kiss on the cheek. This causes them both to release a mutual sigh of contentment. After that, they stay cuddled up to each other for a long time in silence; all the while, their minds are relaxed as they enjoy the mutual companionship being expressed by their embrace.

…

After what seems like an eternity in heaven, Timmy opens his eyes and jumps when he sees the clock. "Holy crap, it's late! Sorry, Tootie, but I gotta get home, now."

Tootie, being disappointed that the moment has to end, still finds a way to make good on it. "Can I walk you?"

"Yes. I'd like that."

With that, Timmy and Tootie walk out of the door, holding hands as they head back to Timmy's house. They then join up arm-in-arm to get closer to each other, so to speak, on the way there.

When they get to Timmy's front door, Timmy says, "Hey, listen, I really am sorry for not giving you a chance before."

"Well, it's my fault for being such an obsessive fangirl," Tootie reasons.

"But it's my fault for not giving you a chance anyway!" Timmy insists.

"Don't worry about it," Tootie reassures Timmy as she puts an arm around him. "At least we're together now. I really do love you and care about you, Timmy, and I want to always be here for you. If you run into anything that Cosmo and Wanda can't do for you, any "funny business" at all, come to me, and I'll be here for you."

"I love you, Tootie!" Timmy says with glee as she hugs Tootie with passion.

"I love you too, Timmy," Tootie replies, along with a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight!" they both say as Timmy enters the house and closes the door behind him. Tootie starts back to her own house – when she's certain that she is out of Timmy's earshot, she jumps up and screams, "I DID IT!"

As for Timmy, he heaves his tired body up the stairs and into his bedroom, where Cosmo and Wanda have been waiting.

"Oh, my God, we've been so worried!" Wanda cries out. "Where've you been?"

"Well," Timmy explains, "Tootie took me in and comforted me after what happened. I then realized how much better she is at heart than Trixie is, and-"

"And?" Cosmo and Wanda intone.

"And…" Timmy intones before saying it loud and proud; "We're a couple now! I'm Tootie's boyfriend and Tootie's my girlfriend!"

Cosmo's jaw drops as he hovers there, speechless. Wanda reasons, "Hmmm, I guess it was bound to happen, after what good friends you two suddenly became."

"So you're saying you're okay with it?" Timmy nervously asks.

"Of course, sport," Wanda affirms as she and Cosmo put their hands on both his shoulders. "Just remember, that doesn't mean that we won't stop being here for you. If you run into anything that Tootie can't do for you, any "funny business" at all, come to us."

"Just say the word and we'll make it happen," Cosmo winks.

With a huge smile being brought to his face due to his fairy godparents' approval, Timmy hugs them both hard, saying, "I love you guys!"

"We love you too, Timmy," Cosmo and Wanda both say. Then, after their moment has run its course, Cosmo and Wanda transform into their goldfish forms and retreat into their fishbowl to settle in for the night. "Goodnight," they say to Timmy.

"Goodnight," Timmy says as he drifts off to sleep and begins to have pleasant dreams about Tootie…


	37. Crown Royal 400

** We're at race #20 of the season, and for this one, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is at one of the oldest, most historic and most prestigious race tracks in the entire world – Indianapolis Motor Speedway! Best known for running the Indianapolis 500 every Memorial Day weekend, this track will now be playing host to NASCAR's Crown Royal 400. As for the track itself, it is a 2.5-mile rectangular oval – there are 1/8-mile straight-aways known as "short chutes" in between turns 1 & 2 and turns 3 & 4. The turns are banked at 9-12 degrees, and the straight-aways are perfectly flat.**

** This race, the Crown Royal 400, will be 400 miles long, run over 160 laps.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**2. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**6. Edd (#29)**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**8. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**9. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**10. Stan Smith (#7)**

**11. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**12. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**13. Master Shake (#55)**

**14. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**15. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**16. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**17. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**18. Hank Hill (#95)**

**19. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**20. Aang (#35)**

**21. Grim (#33)**

**22. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**23. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**24. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**25. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**26. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**27. Frylock (#15)**

**28. Ed (#27)**

**29. Kim Possible (#51)**

**30. William Murderface (#47)**

**31. Katara (#34)**

**32. Butt-Head (#48)**

**33. Beavis (#24)**

**34. Eddy (#31)**

**35. Sokka (#38)**

**36. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**37. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**38. Meatwad (#56)**

**39. Applejack (#18)**

**40. Bender (#22)**

**41. The Warden (#32)**

**42. Francine Smith (#36)**

**43. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**The rest of this season's races will be broadcast on ESPN. Let's tune on to them now;**

Allen Bestwick: Welcome to NASCAR on ESPN, everyone! We've already had some really crazy and wild racing in the first half of this Cartoon Cup Series season. And we all hope you're ready for much more as we will be bringing you the second half of this Cartoon Cup season in its entirety, starting with what has arguably become the 2nd most prestigious race in NASCAR, the Crown Royal 400 at the Brickyard. I'm Allen Bestwick, alongside Dale Jarrett and Andy Petree, very best of thanks for joining us for the latter part of the season.

Jarrett: And already, things have proven to be way more intense than they were last season, Allen. For one thing, the point standings are still really close – it's been MUCH closer, but right now, there are only 54 points separating first place from last place. Not only that, but the characters have made much more use of their powers and their weapons this time around. Now they're bringing all of that mayhem to arguably the most prestigious race track in North America, maybe even the world!

Petree: Yeah, and also, we have just seven races left until the Chase, including this one. What I'm concerned about is the season-long feuds between Rainbow Dash and Ahsoka Tano, and between Danny Phantom and Stan Smith. Especially since all four of those drivers are in Chase contention at this very moment. Neither of them may have done much to each other back in New Hampshire, but the standings are still real close, so one of them could end up out of it real fast.

Bestwick: Well, we'll just see how that all plays out, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, possibly the world's richest philanthropist, Richie Rich!

Richie: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

** 43 865 hp engines all fire and rev up simultaneously. All of the cars take time to warm up their engines, and then they are led out onto the track by the pace car.**

Bestwick: On the pole this week is last year's winner of this race, Eric Cartman. Alongside him in 2nd is Abigail Lincoln. We have teammates in row 2; Timmy Turner in 3rd, and Danny Phantom in 4th. Then in 5th, it's the Blue Deuce of Hoagie Gilligan, and Edd is outside of him in 6th. In 7th is the pony Rainbow Dash, and in 8th is Nigel Uno. Defending series champion Homer Simpson will roll out in 9th, and Stan Smith will round out the top 10. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting line-up, Dale Jarrett will try and ring up our pole-sitter.

Jarrett: Eric Cartman, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, you have me?

Cartman: Yeah, sure.

Jarrett: You won this race last year, and you're starting on the pole this year, and you're in Chase contention once again. How do you plan on making good on it?

Cartman: Well, if any of these bastards try and screw with me, I'm gonna kick them in the nuts, and I'm gonna win! You know what, just talk to Kyle, if you wanna get into that technical bullcrap!

Jarrett: I was actually just about to do that. Anyway, good luck out there.

Cartman: Whatever.

Jarrett: Kyle Broflovski, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, you got me?

Kyle: Loud and clear, dude.

Jarrett: Well Cartman was not nice enough to tell us how his car might handle this track, so we're gonna let you answer that one for us.

Kyle: Obviously, the car's done really well. At least compared to everyone else, anyway. It was a little loose in the turns during practice, but we got that taken care of in time for qualifying. I think if Cartman can get the jump on the rest of the field at the start, then we'll be in the clear.

Jarrett: Well good luck, Kyle.

Kyle: 10-4, dude.

…

**The pace car soon pulls over onto pit road. Then, the racecars are turned loose by the waving of the green flag.**

Bestwick: And the Cartoon Cup Series Crown Royal 400 at the Brickyard is green!

**Just as his crew chief predicted, Eric Cartman gets the jump on the field at the start, building up a solid lead by the time they come out of turn 2.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 4, Ahsoka Tano makes her way into the top 10.**

** On lap 9, Timmy Turner makes her way past Abigail Lincoln for 2****nd**** place. That's when he notices how far ahead Cartman has gotten from the pack;**

Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda! I wish I could at least catch up to the #14 car!

Cosmo/Wanda: You got it!

…

**With Timmy's wish to his fairy godparents (who also serve as crew chief and spotter for him), Timmy Turner gets right on Eric Cartman's rear bumper by lap 15.**

Cartman: What the hell does that buck-toothed bastard think he's doing?

Kyle: Just relax and don't do anything too drastic, dude.

**And so, by not doing anything too drastic, Cartman is able to hold off Timmy – that is, until lap 22;**

Timmy: Cosmo, Wanda! I wish I could get past the #14 car!

Cosmo/Wanda: You got it!

…

Bestwick: There goes Timmy Turner, past the #14 of Eric Cartman! Timmy Turner is your new race leader!

Cartman: That fucking faggot! He is SO gonna get it!

Timmy: Thanks, you guys!

**On lap 22, Timmy Turner, thanks to his fairy godparents manages a slingshot move on Eric Cartman while going down the backstretch, and takes the lead.**

** On lap 28, Rainbow Dash makes it up to the top 5.**

** Timmy Turner is still leading on lap 33 when…**

Bestwick: And there's trouble, big trouble in turn 1!

Jarrett: The #31 of Eddy has gone really hard into the outside wall; caution is out!

Petree: I think he lost a tire or a suspension or something.

Eddy: I think the suspension just broke – when it did, the thing just lost control!

Rolf: (sigh) Fate has wielded its hallowed sabre against us, Ed-boy. The sun has set on our race day.

Eddy: 10-4… damn!

**On lap 33, Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet breaks the suspension while entering turn 1 – the car spins to the right and runs very hard head-on into the outside wall. The car is unable to get up and running again, what with the sheer magnitude of the impact, but Eddy leaves the car unharmed.**

** The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford, running 1 lap down in 36****th**** gets the free pass.**

** While the track crews clean the wreckage, the rest of the cars make their first pit stops of the race. Everyone takes four tires and fuel. This will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**2. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**3. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**4. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**5. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**7. Stan Smith (#7)**

**8. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**9. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**The race restarts on lap 38. Timmy Turner and Eric Cartman both get the jump on the rest of the field, running side-by-side for several laps until Cartman clears Timmy on lap 43 to get back in the lead.**

** Nigel Uno moves up into the top 5 on lap 47.**

** Rainbow Dash makes it up to 3****rd**** on lap 50. She's up to 2****nd**** on lap 55.**

Rainbow Dash: How did that fatass even make it on the pole, much less stay in the lead, anyway?

Fluttershy: Just focus on catching him and getting by him, Dashie.

Rainbow Dash: 10-4, Fluttershy.

**And sure enough, by lap 62, Rainbow Dash has gotten up to Cartman's rear bumper.**

Butters: The #20 car's behind you – watch out!

Cartman: Goddamned pony slut!

**Cartman swerves all over the track, from left to right and back again, trying to hold Rainbow Dash off. And for a time, he does indeed manage to keep her behind him. But Rainbow Dash manages to get her front bumper ahead of Cartman's rear bumper while going down the backstretch on lap 66;**

Bestwick: Out of turn 2 – Rainbow Dash goes by Eric Cartman on the inside; she is your new race leader!

Scootaloo: Outside, outside… and you're clear.

Rainbow Dash: Looks like we're leading this thing, girls!

Fluttershy: Yay.

Cartman: GODDAMMIT!

**On lap 66, Rainbow Dash goes to the inside of Eric Cartman going out of turn 2 to take the lead.**

** Then, on lap 69;**

Bestwick: Caution is out for the #18 of Applejack – she has lost her engine.

Applejack: Oh, no! Why did this have to happen now?

Pinkie Pie: (sigh) Nothing we can do. It's over for us.

**On lap 69, Applejack's #18 M & M's Toyota blows its engine. Applejack solemnly coasts into her team's garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford, running 1 lap down in 32****nd**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**2. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**3. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**4. Stan Smith (#7)**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**6. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**8. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**9. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**10. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**The race is restarted on lap 74.**

** Ahsoka Tano enters the top 5 on lap 80.**

** On lap 83;**

Jake: Water is erupting from my hood like Old Faithful – I think we've overheated… and there goes the engine!

Spud: (facepalm)

**On lap 83, Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota sputters and conks out due to overheating caused by the car's grill being blocked by grass thrown up from the infield. Jake limps his smoking car into the garage, and the race is over from him.**

** On lap 90, Eric Cartman gets back in the lead, taking it back from Rainbow Dash.**

Cartman: Take that, you rainbow whore!

Rainbow Dash: Damn! Well, this race isn't over yet…

**But Cartman pulls away, and by lap 94, Rainbow Dash has none other than her arch-rival Ahsoka Tano filling up her rearview.**

Rainbow Dash: Man, why did it have to be that Jedi scum!

Anakin: Remember, Snips; the Chase is coming up. Don't do anything that may compromise our chances of making it in.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**Fortunately, Ahsoka doesn't have to do anything drastic – she takes the 2****nd**** spot on lap 96.**

Ahsoka: That went well.

Rainbow Dash: (growling)

**On lap 100;**

Bestwick: Two cars in the wall in turn 1!

Petree: The #36 of Francine Smith and the #43 of Phineas Flynn have taken each other out, and we have a caution.

Francine: Why, that no-good, triangle-headed, soulless ginger, FUCKER!

Phineas: Sometimes, I wonder why her husband even lets her drive a street car, much less a racecar.

**On lap 100, Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet and Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford get together in turn 1 – they lose control and crash hard into the wall and each other. No other cars are caught up in their incident. The #36 and the #43 cars are damaged beyond repair, but Francine and Phineas both get out unhurt, and then they argue for a while before being taken to the infield care center.**

** Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**2. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**4. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**5. Stan Smith (#7)**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**7. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**8. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**9. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**10. Edd (#29)**

**The restart occurs on lap 104.**

** Ahsoka Tano makes it into the lead on lap 110.**

Anakin: Very good, Snips. Just keep this up and we'll be in Victory Lane for sure!

Ahsoka: 10-4, Master!

** On lap 115;**

Beavis: Goddammit, I think the transmission just broke! FUCK!

**On lap 115, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet breaks its transmission. Beavis angrily coasts into his team's garage and withdraws from the competition.**

** On lap 121, attention is turned to the battle for 5****th**** – which Stan Smith has. Trying to take it away is Danny Phantom. Stan holds him off until lap 125;**

Danny: I'm going ghost!

...

Bestwick: The #16 just went invisible – he's gone through the #7!

Jarrett: He's visible again – and Stan Smith is shooting at him!

Stan: You'll pay for that, ghost fag!

...

Petree: He's stopped shooting – must've run out of ammo.

Stan: DAMN YOU, GHOST FAGGOT!

**On lap 125, Danny Phantom goes ghost and goes through Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet to claim the 5****th**** spot. Stan Smith retaliates by unloading his 9mm at Danny's #16 3M Ford. However, none of the shots connect, and Stan quickly runs out of ammo.**

** Ahsoka Tano is still leading on lap 132 when...**

Bestwick: And there's a car on its roof on the backstretch!

Jarrett: Ed's #27 Menards Chevrolet is lying upside-down in the backstretch infield – no contact was made; he just spontaneously flipped over!

Petree: I don't know how spontaneous it was, Dale. The #11 car was right there.

Twilight: Heh heh heh...!

**On lap 132, Twilight Sparkle, in order to get past Ed, casts some magic on his #27 Menards Chevrolet, causing the car to turn over and flip violently until coming to a stop on the backstretch. The car is destroyed, but Ed is okay.**

** Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 29****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The rest of the cars then make their final pit stops of the race. Everyone takes four tires and fuel. Here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**2. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**4. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**5. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**6. Stan Smith (#7)**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**8. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**9. Edd (#29)**

**10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**The restart is done on lap 135. Ahsoka Tano spins the tires on the restart, allowing Eric Cartman to get ahead.**

Ahsoka: Oh, man! Now we'll never win!

Anakin: It isn't over until it is over, Padawan.

Ahsoka: Yes, Master.

**Additionally, this slip-up also causes her to lose 2****nd**** place to Nigel Uno on lap 139.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 144, Homer Simpson moves up into the top 10.**

** By lap 151, Nigel Uno catches up to Eric Cartman, ensuing the battle for the win. Nigel does manage to lead by lap 155, but Cartman gets the lead back on lap 156.**

** The white flag flies on lap 160, with Cartman and Nigel still going at it for the win. Ahsoka Tano lurks behind them in 3****rd****. They remain this way through turns 1 & 2. Going down the backstretch, Nigel notices Ahsoka filling up his rearview and through turns 3 & 4 makes the fatal error of focusing on holding Ahsoka off, which allows Cartman to get away...**

Bestwick: Coming out of turn 4 – Nigel Uno and Ahsoka Tano fight for 2nd while Eric Cartman zooms ahead. Checkered flag is out, and for the 2nd straight year, Eric Cartman wins the Crown Royal 400!

Cartman: Take that, BITCHES!

Kyle: Awesome race, dude!

**Eric Cartman wins the Crown Royal 400 – just behind him, Nigel Uno gets 2****nd**** while Ahsoka Tano takes 3****rd****. Meanwhile, Danny Phantom finishes 4****th****, Stan Smith comes in 5****th****, Timmy Turner is 6****th****, Homer Simpson gets 7****th****, Rainbow Dash places 8****th****, Hoagie P. Gilligan places 9****th**** and Abigail Lincoln rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing a big long burnout down the front straightaway, Eric Cartman cheers in Victory Lane amidst the flying confetti. ESPN's Dr. Jerry Punch then moves in for the interview;**

Dr. Punch: Eric Cartman, a winner at Indianapolis once again. Why don't you take us through those last few laps?

Cartman: Heh! I knew that bald-headed British bastard wouldn't get the best of me! Besides, British people have no business in NASCAR – this is an American sport! But anyway, that's pretty much it, and I have to thank our sponsors – Bass Pro Shops and Mobil 1 – and everyone at Stewart-Haas Racing for the opportunity.

Dr. Punch: Hmmm, well great job, Cartman.

Cartman: Whatever.

**Not long afterwards, Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and the rest of the race team head out to the brick start/finish line, and they kiss the bricks.**

** Crown Royal 400 race results;**

**1. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**2. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**3. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**4. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**5. Stan Smith (#7)**

**6. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**7. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**8. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**11. Edd (#29)**

**12. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**13. Kim Possible (#51)**

**14. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**15. Hank Hill (#95)**

**16. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**17. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**18. William Murderface (#47)**

**19. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**20. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**21. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**22. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**23. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**24. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**25. Butt-Head (#48)**

**26. Aang (#35)**

**27. Katara (#34)**

**28. Sokka (#38)**

**29. Master Shake (#55)**

**30. Frylock (#15) (1 lap down)**

**31. Grim (#33) (1 lap down)**

**32. Bender (#22) (1 lap down)**

**33. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (1 lap down)**

**34. Meatwad (#56) (2 laps down)**

**35. Early Cuyler (#21) (2 laps down)**

**36. The Warden (#32) (3 laps down)**

**37. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Beavis (DNF; transmission)**

**39. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Francine Smith (#36) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Jake Long [R] (#30) (DNF; overheating)**

**42. Applejack (#18) (DNF; engine)**

**43. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 20 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 494 points**

**2. Peter Griffin (#93); 492 points**

**3. Nigel Uno (#1); 489 points**

**4. Stan Smith (#7); 488 points**

**5. Homer Simpson (#83); 485 points**

**6. Eric Cartman (#14); 481 points**

**7. Rainbow Dash (#20); 480 points**

**8. Abigail Lincoln (#5); 478 points**

**9. Danny Phantom (#16); 475 points**

**10. Timmy Turner (#17); 473 points**

**11. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 471 points**

**12. Edd (#20); 470 points**

**13. Kim Possible (#51)/Butt-Head (#48); 439 points**

**15. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 438 points**

**17. Hank Hill (#95)/Kenny McCormick (#39)/Dudley Puppy (#99); 437 points**

**20. Ferb Fletcher (#9)/William Murderface (#47); 436 points**

**22. Foxxy Love (#98)/Frylock (#15); 434 points**

**24. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Ben Tennyson (#10); 433 points**

**26. Bender (#22)/Twilight Sparkle (#11); 431 points**

**28. Sokka (#38); 430 points**

**29. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Aang (#35)/Katara (#34); 429 points**

**32. Meatwad (#56)/Ed (#27)/Beavis (#24); 428 points**

**35. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Francine Smith (#36)/Jake Long [R] (#30); 427 points**

**38. Early Cuyler (#21)/The Warden (#22)/Eddy (#31); 426 points**

**42. Grim (#33)/Applejack (#18); 425 points**

**43. Master Shake (#55); 423 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 261 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 213 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 197 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 192 points**

**Next race; Go Bowling .com 400 at Pocono Raceway.**


	38. Go Bowling com 400

**After having run at the most prestigious North American racetrack, and with just six races left until the Chase for the Cartoon Cup, the 21****st**** Cartoon Cup Series race of the season has the series returning to one of the most unique tracks on the NASCAR circuit; Pocono Raceway.**

** Based in the Pocono Mountains in northeastern Pennsylvania, the thing that makes this one of the most unique tracks on the circuit is that it is not an oval – it's a triangle! It is 2.5 miles long, to be exact. The frontstretch is 3,740 feet long – the longest in NASCAR! This leads into the sharp 14-degree banked Turn 1. From there, it's a 3,055-foot long backstretch before going into Turn 2, a 90-degree left-hander, banked at 9 degrees and also referred to as the Tunnel Turn. That empties into a 1,780-foot long short chute, which leads into a sharp 6-degree turn before heading back on the giant frontstretch, thus completing a lap.**

** This race, known as the Go Bowling .com 400, will be run over 160 laps, for a total of 400 miles.**

**Starting grid;**

**1. Master Shake (#55)**

**2. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**3. Applejack (#18)**

**4. Ed (#27)**

**5. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**6. Beavis (#24)**

**7. Eddy (#31)**

**8. Meatwad (#56)**

**9. Bender (#22)**

**10. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**11. Frylock (#15)**

**12. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**13. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**14. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**15. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**16. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**17. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**18. Stan Smith (#7)**

**19. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**20. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**21. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**22. Edd (#29)**

**23. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**24. Butt-Head (#48)**

**25. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**26. Grim (#33)**

**27. The Warden (#32)**

**28. Francine Smith (#36)**

**29. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**30. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**31. Aang (#35)**

**32. Katara (#34)**

**33. Sokka (#38)**

**34. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**35. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**36. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**37. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**38. Kim Possible (#51)**

**39. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**40. William Murderface (#47)**

**41. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**42. Hank Hill (#95)**

**43. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**ESPN?**

Bestwick: We're coming off quite some race at the Brickyard, where Eric Cartman won for the first time this season, and for the 2nd straight time at the Brickyard. We're now returning to the Pocono Mountains in northeastern Pennsylvania, to the Tricky Triangle known as Pocono Raceway, for the running of round 21 of this Cartoon Cup Series season, the Go Bowling .com 400. Welcome to NASCAR on ESPN, I'm Allen Bestwick, along with Dale Jarrett and Andy Petree.

Jarrett: Now what I've noticed since the series came here last is that the point standings actually have a bigger interval now. The first half of the season, the entire field was separated by a mere 20-30 points. Now, the top 12 in the standings are actually pulling away from the rest of the pack. Now I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but if this keeps up, we may have our Chase contenders decided before we get to Richmond.

Petree: The most amazing part of this whole season, and I can't believe no one has brought it up, is this; we've had 20 races so far this season, and 20 different winners – a different winner for each race! Maybe it's the mere fact that they're cartoons, I don't know, but I would bet that we'll have yet another new winner of the season here today.

Bestwick: I'm not inclined to argue against that. Anyway, let's now go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, the first ever animated sex symbol, Betty Boop!

Betty: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The cars fire up their engines, inciting waves of cheers from the fans in attendance. After the engines warm up, the cars begin the long pace laps around the 2.5-mile Pocono Raceway.**

Bestwick: On the pole this week, from Michael Waltrip Racing, is the fast food drink Master Shake. Alongside him in 2nd is the squid Early Cuyler. Then in 3rd place is the pony Applejack, and then Ed is in 4th. The famed #43 driven by Phineas Flynn will roll out in 5th, and Beavis's #24 car will start 6th. The scam master Eddy is in 7th, and the piece of meat they call Meatwad is 8th. Then in 9th is the robot Bender, and in 10th is the pony Twilight Sparkle. And as look through the rest of the starting grid on your screen, Dale Jarrett will be on the phone;

Jarrett: Stan Smith, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, do you have me?

Stan: I got ya, Dale.

Jarrett: Well, we have six races left until the Chase, and it looks like someone from Tommy Baldwin Racing may actually be in contention for the first time. What do you think your chances are of keeping it up here today.

Stan: Depends on whatever sort of BS that ghost fag decides to pull. Seriously, he's got some nerve doing the things that he does on the track! Sure, I may do some lowbrow stuff, but I'm a CIA agent – that practically makes me above the law! But anyway, our car appears to be at least half-decent, and I'm very confident that we'll make the Chase this time – if that ghost fag doesn't ruin it for us. But we'd still like to get as good a run as we can today.

Jarrett: Well good luck and thanks for speaking with us. Andy Petree's gonna talk to your crew chief, now.

Stan: Alright, 10-4.

Petree: Roger Smith, it's Andy Petree from ESPN, do you have me?

Roger: What's up, Andy?

Petree: We were just talking to Stan about your chances of making the Chase, and he mentioned that they would be good as long as his nemesis Danny Phantom didn't ruin it for you. Have you, by any chance, talked to Stan about what to do if he does try something?

Roger: Me and Stan have been talking that over, yes. And I don't mean to spill the beans, but me and him have been thinking about "persuading" the crew chief of the #16 car to spill out some information regarding certain areas that aren't the phantom's "strong suit," so to speak. We may do that after Michigan or Bristol if we can. But other than that, we're just gonna run hard and hope for the best.

Petree: Well, good luck to you both out there.

Roger: 10-4, Andy.

**In time, the pace car retreats onto pit road. The racecars continue to creep down the long front straightaway, then the green flag waves and they head full throttle.**

Bestwick: And the Go bowling .com 400 is green!

**At the start, Early Cuyler spins his tires, letting Master Shake zoom ahead into the lead. Those running in the odd-numbered positions towards the front also gain some spots, as the front-runners in the even-numbered positions get stacked up by Early Cuyler and his slow start.**

** Ed is solidly in 2****nd**** place by lap 5, with Applejack right behind him. Rather coincidentally, their close quarters result in them drafting as they would at Daytona or Talladega, and thus, the two of them go faster on the long straightaways. By lap 11, the two have caught right up to Master Shake, and the three-way battle for the lead is on.**

** Master Shake gets quite a bit stressed by two cars trying to pass him on both sides; he does manage to slam the door on Applejack, but on lap 16, Ed slips on by him.**

Jonny: Plank says you're in the lead, Ed!

Ed: Plank's funny, a ha ha ha!

Shake: Dammit! This race ain't over yet!

**Gradually, Applejack falls back, and on lap 21, Phineas Flynn passes her for 3****rd****.**

** Meanwhile, Ed is still leading on lap 27 when…**

Bestwick: Trouble – Kim Possible is in the wall in turn 2 – and Butt-Head's just slammed head-on into her!

Jarrett: She just went up into Butt-Head's path against her own control, and the #48 had nowhere to go.

Petree: Now it's lead to our first caution of the race, and two totaled cars.

Kim: Damn that Butt-Head!

Butt-Head: Dumb broad! And I thought Danica Patrick was a bad driver!

**On lap 27, Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet spins out and goes hard into the wall in turn 2 right in front of Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet – Butt-Head has nowhere to go and runs right into Kim Possible's car, effectively totaling both vehicles. Kim and Butt-Head get out and bicker some before being led away onto the mandatory trip to the infield care center.**

** William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baked Beans Toyota, running 1 lap down in 39****th**** gets the free pass.**

** The other cars then make their first pit stops of the race, with everyone taking four tires and fuel. This occurs after pit stops;**

Bestwick: And Ferb Fletcher is called for being TOO FAST ON PIT ROAD EXIT!

Ferb: Bloody hell!

Baljeet: Just do the drive-thru.

**Ferb Fletcher is caught speeding on pit road and will have to serve a drive-thru penalty. Meanwhile, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Ed (#27)**

**2. Master Shake (#55)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**8. Bender (#22)**

**9. Eddy (#31)**

**10. Frylock (#15)**

**The race restarts on lap 32.**

** Phineas Flynn creeps past Master Shake on lap 35, and by lap 42, he has caught up to Ed. Ed, however, holds his ground and keeps Phineas behind him.**

Phineas: Man, this guy's a good driver for being as dumb as he is.

Isabella: Just relax. We'll get up front sometime.

**On lap 46, Applejack makes it past Master Shake to claim the 3****rd**** position. And on lap 50, the battle for the lead turns into a threesome (no pun intended), with Applejack having caught up to Phineas Flynn and Ed.**

** On lap 52;**

Bestwick: We have smoke in turn 3 - it's coming from the #13 car.

Hank: Ah, we just lost our engine! This track has been murder on our car!

Dean: 10-4, bring her in. We're done.

**On lap 52, Hank Venture's #13 GEICO Ford finally succumbs to the stress of running on this track, blowing its engine. Hank Venture limps through the infield escape road in turn 3, onto pit road and into the garage; his race is over.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 55, Applejack passes Phineas Flynn for 2nd place, setting her sights on Ed.**

** On lap 58;**

Bestwick: We have trouble in turn 1 - the #88 is hard into the wall.

Jarrett: The right-front tire exploded going into turn 1 before she could apply the brakes, and the speed that she went into that wall!

Petree: Yeah, the front end of that #88 car is toast.

Daria: I don't know what happened, but when that tire blew, it blew the whole side out of the car.

Quinn: I know, it looked like a bomb went off!

**On lap 58, Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet blows its right-front tire so hard that it blows the fender off. Losing control going into turn 1, Daria runs into the outside retaining wall at well over 200 mph, destroying the front end of the car. Daria, however, gets out unharmed.**

** Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 35th gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Ed (#27)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**4. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**5. Master Shake (#55)**

**6. Frylock (#15)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Eddy (#31)**

**9. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

** We restart on lap 64.**

** Frylock moves up into the top 5 on lap 69.**

** Phineas Flynn moves up to 2nd on lap 71, catching up to Ed on lap 75. Whilst pulling away from Applejack and the rest of the pack, the two duke it out; Phineas tries every part of the track that he can, even while going through the turns, but Ed manages to block him off - that is, until lap 79;**

Bestwick: For the lead, on the backstretch - Phineas Flynn slingshots around Ed, and he is your new race leader!

Isabella: I told you we'd get up to the front. (blows kiss)

Phineas: Heh heh heh, 10-4, Izzy.

**On lap 81, Meatwad moves up into the top 5.**

** Frylock moves up to 3rd on lap 86, setting his sights on Ed, with intent to claim the 2nd spot.**

** Then, on lap 90;**

Bestwick: Oh, and a bad crash in turn 2, as Hank Hill has slammed hard into the wall!

Peggy: Oh my God, are you okay?! What the hell happened?

Hank: Ah, I lost the brakes heading into turn 2, and it just shot into the wall. The race is over for us, but I'm okay.

Peggy: Oh, thank God!

**On lap 90, Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford loses its brakes heading into turn 2; the car loses control, shoots up the banking and slams head-on into the wall, totally totaling the car and tearing it all up. Luckily, Hank gets out unhurt; a testament to the top-notch safety features of modern NASCAR racing.**

** Jake Long's #30 Swan Energy Toyota, running 1 lap down in 32nd gets the free pass.**

** This occurs after pit stops;**

Bestwick: Dudley Puppy - too fast on pit road entrance!

Dudley: Are they freakin' kidding me, Kitty?

Kitty: No, they're not. Just do the drive-thru, and we'll come back as best we can.

Dudley: 10-4.

**Dudley Puppy is busted for speeding on pit road entrance, and will have to do a drive-thru penalty. Meanwhile, the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**2. Ed (#27)**

**3. Frylock (#15)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Meatwad (#56)**

**6. Applejack (#18)**

**7. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**8. Eddy (#31)**

**9. Beavis (#24)**

**10. Early Cuyler (#21)**

** The race is restarted on lap 95.**

** Early Cuyler falls out of the top 10 on lap 99.**

** On lap 102, Frylock slips underneath of Ed going out of turn 3 to claim 2nd place. He then sets his sights on race leader Phineas Flynn, catching up to his rear bumper on lap 108.**

** For what seems like a long time, Phineas goes all over the racing surface, holding off Frylock. Whenever Frylock tries to make a move, Phineas alters his line to match Frylock's preventing him from taking away the lead for a moment. But then, on lap 115...**

Bestwick: Going into turn 3, Frylock gets inside of Phineas Flynn, he gets the run out of the turn, and Frylock is your new race leader.

Carl: Hey, look at that! You're actually leading this thing, Fryman!

Frylock: 10-4, heh heh!

**On lap 119;**

Bestwick: Caution is out for the #99 of Dudley Puppy - he has blown his engine.

Dudley: Oh for Christ's sake! First a pit road speeding penalty, now this? Dammit!

Kitty: I guess we'll just have to try again next week.

Dudley: (sigh)

**On lap 119, Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford blows its engine. As Dudley's car leaks fluid out - the cause for the caution flag - he limps around, gets onto pit road and into the garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** Francine Smith's #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30th gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Frylock (#15)**

**2. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**3. Ed (#27)**

**4. Meatwad (#56) **

**5. Master Shake (#55)**

**6. Eddy (#31)**

**7. Applejack (#18)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

** The restart occurs on lap 123.**

** Meatwad slips up to 3rd place on lap 125; Master Shake follows him along past Phineas Flynn for 4th on lap 126.**

** On lap 130, Meatwad and Shake double-team Ed, ensuing a three-way battle for 2nd. Unfortunately for Ed, he can only hold off one car at a time; he holds off Meatwad on lap 132, but Master Shake passes him on that lap. Meatwad then slips by Ed on lap 133; Ed drops back to 4th, Meatwad is up to 3rd, and Master Shake is up to 2nd.**

** Eddy makes his way up into the top 5 on lap 138.**

** By lap 142, Master Shake and Meatwad have caught up to Frylock, leading to a three-way battle for the win between teammates.**

** At around the same time, their is a very heated battle for 25th place - Kenny McCormick has the spot while the rookie Jake Long is trying to take it away. Jake does manage to get alongside Kenny on the outside, but Kenny holds him off, and by lap 145, Jake loses his patience...**

Bestwick: BIG TROUBLE ON THE SHORT CHUTE! THE #39 CAR IS ON FIRE!

Jarrett: A jet of fire just shot out of the #30 car's driver-side window and it caught the #39!

Petree: ...

Jake: Heh heh heh...!

**On lap 145, using his dragon powers, Jake Long breathes a jet of flame at Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, setting the car on fire. As the car burns, it runs right into the turn 3 wall, grinding along until being brought to a stop by the wall's curvature.**

** Emergency crews are scrambled to the scene. The firemen unload jets of extinguisher on the car, putting the fire out. Then, the safety personnel extricate Kenny from the car - his lifeless body toasted to a crisp by the fire.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**With all the cars being just short of making it to the end on fuel, they promptly file onto pit road - this time, everyone goes with fuel only; they take only a little more than they need to make it to the checkered flag.**

** After pit stops, here will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Frylock (#15)**

**2. Master Shake (#55)**

**3. Meatwad (#56)**

**4. Ed (#27) **

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Beavis (#24)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

** The restart is on lap 152 - just 8 laps to go!**

** Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad - all teammates at Michael Waltrip Racing - get excellent starts, pulling away from the rest of the pack and leaving the outcome of the race between the three of them to decide.**

** Meatwad moves up to 2nd on lap 153, and passes Frylock for the lead on lap 154. After he leads that lap, Frylock takes the lead back. Master Shake then reclaims 2nd on lap 158, putting Meatwad back in 3rd.**

** The white flag flies on lap 160, with the top 3 still in close proximity. Master Shake tries to make the move on Frylock in turn 1, but Frylock holds on. Then in turn 2, Meatwad tries to get by Shake for 2nd, but to no avail. And going out of turn 3, no one can make any moves on each other, effectively deciding the outcome of this race;**

Bestwick: We will have a first-time winner; the checkered flag is out, and Frylock wins the Go Bowling .com 400!

Carl: Way to go, Fryman!

Frylock: Alright! Finally, we've won a race! Oh, uh, tell Shake and Meatwad to join me in Victory Lane - a 1-2-3 finish between teammates HAS to be acknowledged!

Carl: 10-4, Fryman.

**Frylock wins the Go Bowling .com 400, scoring his first career win in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series. His teammates Master Shake and Meatwad make it in 2nd and 3rd, respectively. Ed and Eddy come in the respective 4th and 5th positions. Beavis brings it home in 6th, Bender takes 7th, Early Cuyler comes in 8th, Phineas Flynn finishes 9th, and Applejack rounds out the top 10.**

** After Frylock does his burnout down the front straightaway and takes the checkered flag, he parks it in Victory Lane, joined by his teammates Master Shake and Meatwad. As Frylock gets up onto the roof of his racecar to celebrate, he beckons Shake and Meatwad to join him, which they do happily. The three teammates all stand proudly atop the #15 car in Victory Lane, clasping each other's hands and holding them up high in a champion's pose, celebrating their team's 1-2-3 finish.**

** As they get down from the roof of the car, Vince Welch moves in for the interview;**

Welch: Frylock, Shake, Meatwad, stellar job from all of you. Frylock, you're the winner, so I'll start with you. What was it like, racing against just your teammates in those last few laps.

Frylock: Are you kiddin'? It was awesome! These guys are my bros as well as my teammates, and it really was a hell of a lot of fun racin' 'em for the win. I'll admit, I thought Meatwad may have had me on lap 154, and honestly, I'm not sure how in the hell I got past 'im, but it feels really great for me that I have the honor of being the 1 in our 1-2-3 finish. And I have to thank Michael Waltrip Racing and 5 Hour Energy for making it possible.

Welch: Now what about you Shake? What was that whole thing like for you?

Shake: Heh heh, well of course, I thought I had the best chance out of the three us, you know, since I started this race on the pole. And even then, I didn't expect that it would ever come down to just us three whackjobs! And I would've really loved to have beated my buddy Frylock here for the win, but at the same time, I'm glad to see that he's finally won a race - oh, and I have to thank Michael Waltrip Racing and Aaron's for your support; it's awesome racing with you all!

Welch: What about you, Meatwad?

Meatwad: Yeah, I agree with Shake and Frylock - it WAS awesome having the three of us all out in front! And like Frylock was talkin' about, I too thought I had it on lap 154. But apparently, what had to happen happened, and now each one of us has won a race in this series. Sure, I would've liked to won it just as much as these two weirdos, but still. And I also have to thank Michael Waltrip Racing, and NAPA for sticking with us. Today was an awesome race day for us all!

Welch: Great job, you guys.

Shake/Frylock/Meatwad: Thanks!

**Go Bowling .com 400 race results;**

**1. Frylock (#15)**

**2. Master Shake (#55)**

**3. Meatwad (#56)**

**4. Ed (#27)**

**5. Eddy (#31)**

**6. Beavis (#24)**

**7. Bender (#22)**

**8. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**9. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**10. Applejack (#18)**

**11. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**12. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**13. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**14. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**15. Stan Smith (#7)**

**16. Edd (#29)**

**17. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**18. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**19. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**20. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**21. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**22. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**23. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**24. Grim (#33)**

**25. The Warden (#32)**

**26. Francine Smith (#36)**

**27. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**28. Aang (#35)**

**29. Katara (#34)**

**30. Sokka (#38) (1 lap down)**

**31. Gumball Watterson (#87) (1 lap down)**

**32. Ben Tennyson (#10) (1 lap down)**

**33. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (1 lap down)**

**34. Foxxy Love (#98) (1 lap down)**

**35. William Murderface (#47) (1 lap down)**

**36. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (1 lap down)**

**37. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident) **

**38. Dudley Puppy (#99) DNF; engine)**

**39. Hank Hill (#95) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13) (DNF; engine)**

**42. Butt-Head (#48) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Kim Possible (#51) (DNF; accident)**

** Point standings after 21 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 524 points**

**2. Stan Smith (#7); 518 points**

**3. Peter Griffin (#93); 513 points**

**4. Rainbow Dash (#20); 512 points**

**5. Nigel Uno (#1); 511 points**

**6. Homer Simpson (#83); 508 points**

**7. Danny Phantom (#16); 506 points**

**8. Eric Cartman (#14); 505 points**

**9. Abigail Lincoln (#5); 503 points**

**10. Timmy Turner (#17); 499 points**

**11. Edd (#29)/Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 498 points**

**13. Frylock (#15); 481 points**

**14. Meatwad (#56)/Ed (#27); 470 points**

**16. Bender (#22); 468 points**

**17. Master Shake (#55)/Beavis (#24); 466 points**

**19. Eddy (#31); 465 points**

**20. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 464 points**

**21. Phineas Flynn (#43); 463 points**

**22. Early Cuyler (#21); 462 points**

**23. Applejack (#18); 459 points**

**24. Grim (#33)/The Warden (#32)/Francine Smith (#36)/Aang (#35)/Ben Tennyson (#10)/William Murderface (#47); 445 points**

**30. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Katara (#34)/Sokka (#38)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78)/Foxxy Love (#98)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 444 points**

**37. Dudley Puppy (#99); 443 points**

**38. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Hank Hill (#98)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 442 points**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Butt-Head (#48); 441 points**

**43. Kim Possible (#51); 440 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 271 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 221 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 204 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 201 points**

**Next race; Cheez-It 355 at Watkins Glen International.**


	39. Friendly Competition

This next side story is set in a treehouse known colloquially as "Sector V." Based on the Virginia side of the Washington, D.C. area, this is where NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series drivers Nigel Uno, Hoagie Gilligan and Abigail Lincoln, along with crew chiefs Kuki Sanban and Wally Beetles, regularly hang out (additionally, Nigel's girlfriend and crew chief Rachel McKenzie makes frequent visits).

Last Sunday at Pocono, they all had less-than-stellar mid-pack performances, with Hoagie finishing 17th, Abigail taking 19th, and Nigel placing 22nd. Despite this, they are all still solidly in contention to make the Chase for the Cartoon Cup. At the present time, everyone is relaxing at the treehouse, with NASCAR being the furthest thing from all of their minds.

To start with, we'll focus on Wally Beetles, the crew chief for the #2 Miller Lite Ford driven by Hoagie Gilligan. He is relaxing in his room, watching a mixed martial arts match on TV, when Abby comes into the room.

"Ooh, you're watching UFC!" Abby says eagerly. "Can I watch?"

"Yeah, sure, sit down if ya like," Wally smiles. Abby then sits down beside Wally, and they watch as the two fighters shown on the TV screen duke it out.

Wally and Abby do not cease to be amazed as they witness the moves that the two combatants pull on each other - takedowns, spinning kicks, knees to the face, etc. In time, one of the fighters gets the other one in a leg lock; Wally and Abby watch in awe as the fighter held in the leg lock taps out, effectively submitting and losing the fight.

Shortly afterwards, as the program goes to commerical, Wally says, "That is some pretty freakin' intense stuff! Of course, it would probably be a cakewalk for me."

"I'm sure it would," Abby says nonchalantly, "until I show up."

"Oh, you really think you can beat me?" Wally smirks as he gets a bit of competitive spirit flowing through him.

"Hey, you know I tough I am!" Abby smirks back. "Why do you think you and I always did the melee combat stuff when we fought adult tyranny and stuff like that?"

"Hmmm, that is true," Wally reasons.

"And it just came to me," adds Abby, "you have this really big boxing ring right here in your room, so, you know, if you're up for a little friendly competition..."

"Ah, I like where you're going with this!" Wally exclaims at the excitement of the impending challenge. Holding out his hand, he asks, "Do we have a match?"

"You got it, bro!" Abby proclaims as she and Wally shake on it.

...

Later that day, everyone, including Rachel, has gathered in the boxing ring in Wally's room, where the mixed martial arts match between Wally and Abby is to be held. Wally is currently standing in one corner, wearing nothing but a pair of orange wrestling tights, and absolutely raring to go. In his corner is Kuki Sanban - she's not looking forward to this contest as much.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks in a concerned tone. "You could get really hurt - and besides, Abby's like your sister!"

"Relax, Kooks, I'll be fine," Wally scoffs. "And yes, Abby and I are friends - this is just a little friendly competition going on."

"Well do be careful!" Kuki pleads.

Abby, meanwhile, is standing in the opposite corner. Aside from her signature red hat, she is wearing nothing but a pair of blue wrestling tights - her chest is totally exposed, allowing for more flexibility and for the skin on her breasts to breathe. In her corner is Hoagie Gilligan - he has a more positive outlook to this impending match.

"Somehow, I just know you're gonna win this match!" Hoagie says. "And I'm gonna give you such a big kiss!"

"Heh heh, well whatever happens," Abby says, "this is gonna be one wild fight for us both."

"I'll be cheerin' you on all the way, babe!" Hoagie winks.

When Wally and Abby are ready, they walk up to face each other in the center of the ring. Nigel is also in the center of the ring; he is to referee this match.

"Alright, guys," Nigel says, "you know the drill; protect yourselves at all times. Keep your shots up - a low blow will get you disqualified, just like in the big leagues. And keep it clean - remember, you two are friends." Licking their chops in anticipation, Wally and Abby bump fists as a show of mutual respect, and then they assume their positions back in their respective corners, ready to go.

"Ring the bell, Rach!" Nigel declares. Rachel, who is serving as timekeeper for this match, rings a crude, homemade bell she made just a while ago, starting the match. Wally and Abby immediately meet each other in the center of the ring, where they assume fighting poses, sizing each other up.

Wally is the first to strike - he does so with a swift kick to Abby's thigh. Abby tries to respond with a quick jab to Wally's head, but Wally dodges her fist just in the nick of time. Wally then aims a punch towards Abby's shoulder, but she ducks out of the way and responds by successfully placing a hard, well-aimed punch right in the center of Wally's chest, inciting a mild groan from him.

This is where the match starts to get good; fueled by the sheer motivation caused by being one-upped, Wally goes for the takedown - he rushes at Abby's legs and succeeds in sweeping her off of her legs and down onto her back. He then unloads a series of powerful punches towards Abby - she is able to deflect some of them, but others meet their mark on her torso, and one hits her on the cheek.

But even so, she eventually does manage to power her way off of Wally, making him stagger backwards some without losing his balance. Abby then gets back to her feet, and she Wally walk back up towards each other to exchange more blows.

Immediately, Wally goes for a roundhouse kick to Abby's head, but she catches it with one arm and responds with a very hard punch to Wally's face, making him groan and stagger. Hoagie and Kuki let out a collective gasp as Abby then does a takedown on Wally, getting him down on his back.

Just like with what happened when it was the other way around, Wally deflects some of Abby's punches, while others score direct hits on his chest and head. But, fighting through all of this, Wally manages to kick Abby off of him. In fact, he does so with so much force that Abby cannot maintain her balance, and she ends up falling flat on her back.

Wally runs to Abby attempting to pounce, but with a well-aimed double-kick to the midsection, Abby pushes Wally back, giving her enough time to get back on her feet. And with that, the match is back to where it started - with both combatants on their feet.

Having exerted a good deal of energy from taking each other down and unloading on each other, Wally and Abby don't go back at it right away. Instead they stand facing each other in their fighting poses, taking some time to recuperate as well as to size each other up in case an opportunity presents itself.

Said process doesn't take long at all; Abby strikes with a punch that hits Wally in the face, almost breaking his nose. Despite reeling a little bit, Wally is able to deflect a kick that Abby aimed at his shin, trying to knock him down. He then responds by nailing Abby on both sides of her chest with a powerful punch combo. Both blows inflict a great deal of pain on Abby - fueled by this, Abby lands a takedown on Wally, getting him back down on his back and taking the fight back down to the mat.

From here, the two unload a series of blows on each other simultaneously - Abby is trying to keep Wally down while Wally is trying to get her off of him so that he can get back up. Punches are landed furiously on both of their bodies, raising the amounts of pain going through the both of them. For a time, this back-and-forth affair continues in a stalemate. But being fueled by the predicament of being the "bottom" in this part of the contest, Wally's adrenaline drive helps him power his way off of Abby, and then they are both facing each other on their feet again.

Abby's first move after this point in the match is a roundhouse kick aimed for Wally's jaw. Wally, however, ducks before her foot hits him. While he's ducked down, he manages to land an uppercut on Abby's chin. Despite being a powerful hit in a vulnerable body part, Abby maintains her footing without staggering. She then takes a hold of Wally's legs and does another takedown on him. This time, however, she does not pounce on him. Instead, she takes Wally's legs and crosses them. She then turns Wally over onto his stomach, bends his legs up towards his head and begins to pull.

"Oh, yeah, you got 'im now!" Hoagie cheers.

"C'mon, Wally, you can get out of this!" Kuki shouts. "You can still beat her!"

Abby has Wally in a submission hold known as the sharpshooter, a move made famous by legendary professional wrestler Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Wally screams aloud as the pain inflicted from the pressure on his legs flows through him. But he's not about to give up now - pulling himself arm by arm, he makes his way towards the rope, trying to grab a hold of it and get the rope break that would force Abby to release the hold.

But unfortunately for him, as he gets within a fingertip of the rope, Abby overpowers his advances, dragging him back to the center of the ring while continuing to apply extreme pressure on his legs with this submission hold. Already exhausted by the amount of energy it took just to get to the ropes, the pain, in time, becomes too much for Wally to bear.

"Alright, I give, give!" Wally cries out as he frantically taps out.

"Ring the bell, Rach!" Nigel calls out. Rachel rings the bell, and Abby releases the hold. "Wooo, yeah, baby!" she says out loud as Nigel raises her hand up, declaring her the winner. Hoagie then takes a hold of her, giving her a big hard victory kiss on the lips.

"Oh my God, are you alright?!" Kuki says in a panicked state. "Please tell me you're not hurt!"

"Ooh... aah... they're not broken," Wally grunts as he writhes around on the mat, trying to catch his breath. "But damn, that sharpshooter move hurts like a bitch, ugh!"

"Well here, let me what I can do," Kuki suggests. Wally nods his head in approval, and so Kuki goes and gets the towel, which she had dipped in a bucket of ice water in case something like this would come about. She wipes Wally's legs with the towel, covering them with the ice water. Then she starts massaging both legs, alternating between firm strokes and soft strokes across the length and circumference of his legs. While this doesn't alleviate the pain completely, it does dull it a good deal.

Then, when Kuki is done with the emergency massage, Abby walks up to Wally, kneels down and offers him her hand, saying, "Y'alright, dude?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Wally replies as Abby helps him back up to his feet.

"Well," Wally sighs glumly, "you beat me fair and square. I, uh, don't know what else to say."

Never one to see one of her best friends in such a down mood, Abby puts a reassuring hand on Wally's shoulder, saying, "Hey, chin up, man. No need to be ashamed. You still fought the good fight really good, and you're still one hell of a fighter. Take it from me!"

Abby offers Wally her free hand as a show of sportsmanship. Wally hesitates at first, but he manages to force a smile on his face and take Abby's hand. Just as he does so, Abby says "Come here, bro!" and pulls him in for a big hug. Said friendly gesture makes Wally's smile much more genuine, so to speak.

Rachel then gets an idea. She quickly takes out her iPhone, activates its camera and points it at Wally and Abby, saying "Smile, you two!" Wally and Abby stand together with mean, daring smiles on their faces and their arms around each other while flexing the developed biceps of their free arms. Rachel snaps a photo of them in this pose, and everyone gathers around to see it. "So cute!" Rachel says as everyone else nods their agreement.

Slinging her arm around her friend Wally, Abby says, "Hey, what can I say? This boy, he's like my little brother!" Backing this statement up, she gives Wally a hearty noogie - Wally can't help but giggle slightly.

Turning to Kuki, Abby then says, "And Kuki, I know I don't have to remind you how lucky you are to have him, but I will anyway. Don't you ever forget that!"

"Heehee, don't worry, I won't!" Kuki giggles. Backing this statement up, she puts her arms around Wally and kisses him hard on the lips. At the same time, Hoagie takes Abby and gives her one more victory kiss. Not to be outdone, Nigel and Rachel share a little kiss of their own. And so, with this moment having been sealed, Nigel, Rachel, Hoagie and Kuki head into the living room to see what's on TV while Wally and Abby change back into their regular clothes.


	40. Cheez It 355 at the Glen

**With just five races left before the Chase for the Cartoon Cup, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is now ready to run Round 22 of the season at Watkins Glen International. Based in the Finger Lakes region in upstate New York, this is one of the most special races on the circuit because it is not an oval; it's a road course! Featuring both left and right turns! Here's how the track is laid out; the pit straight ends in a sharp ninety-degree right-hander (turn 1). After a short straightaway, they'll go through a sweeping right-hander (turn 2), followed by a sweeping left-hander (turn 3) followed by another sweeping right-hander (turn 4). The cars then go onto the backstretch, which is ended by a tight right-left-left-right chicane (turns 5-8) known as the "bus stop" or the "inner loop." Then comes turn 9, which is a sweeping right-hander close to 180 degrees in radius. This goes into a fairly long straightaway, which leads into a sharp left-hander (turn 10) that's close to 90 degrees in radius. One more short straightaway leads into a 90 degree right-hander (turn 11) that leads back onto the pit straight, completing a lap.**

**This race, the Cheez-It 355 at the Glen, will be 90 laps long, which will equal a total distance of 220.5 miles, which equals 354.86 km.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Butt-Head (#48)**

**2. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**3. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**4. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**6. William Murderface (#47)**

**7. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**8. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**9. Applejack (#18)**

**10. Kim Possible (#51)**

**11. Hank Hill (#95)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**14. Aang (#35)**

**15. The Warden (#32)**

**16. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**17. Katara (#35)**

**18. Francine Smith (#36)**

**19. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**20. Grim (#33)**

**21. Sokka (#38)**

**22. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**23. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**24. Edd (#29)**

**25. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**26. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**27. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**28. Stan Smith (#7)**

**29. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**30. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**31. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**32. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**33. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**34. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**35. Meatwad (#56)**

**36. Ed (#27)**

**37. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**38. Master Shake (#55)**

**39. Eddy (#31)**

**40. Bender (#22)**

**41. Beavis (#24)**

**42. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**43. Frylock (#15)**

**Now tuning on to ESPN;**

Bestwick: Welcome to Watkins Glen International, NASCAR fans! This is just one of only two races in the Cartoon Cup Series season in which the cars turn both left and right. Not only that, but it's one of the last five races before the Chase for the Cartoon Cup. As the top 12 in points continue to pull away from the rest of the pack, we look forward to round 22 of the season, the Cheez-It 355 at the Glen! Thanks for joining us, I'm Allen Bestwick – with me as always, Dale Jarrett and Andy Petree.

Jarrett: Actually, Allen, that points gap that you mentioned has shrunk considerably. When he won last week at Pocono, Frylock came within 17 points of Hoagie Gilligan and Edd, who are tied for 11th. Then it's another 19 points back to Meatwad and Ed – they're tied for 14th. Of course, all three of those drivers are starting way back in the field, so…

Petree: Yeah, and also, road courses are much more difficult to pass on, what with the tighter turns and narrower track at all. There also tends to be much less cautions on a road race, which allows less opportunity to recuperate. Yet at the same time, you have a lower chance of going a lap down if something does happen, owing to the longer lap times on a road course.

Bestwick: And we'll see what sort of interest those factors generate, as we go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, quite possibly the fastest character ever made for video games, Sonic the Hedgehog!

Sonic: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines! Go Supersonic!

**The cars all start their engines. As they rev, the fans that Watkins Glen cheer in anticipation. Before long, the cars are all led out on the pace laps;**

Bestwick: Sitting on the pole is Butt-Head; needless to say, he's done a piss-poor job of living up to Jimmie Johnson's legacy of terror. Then in 2nd is the dog, Dudley Puppy. In 3rd is the boy who won't stay dead, Kenny McCormick, and in 4th is the sea sponge, Spongebob SquarePants. Britain's own Ferb Fletcher will roll out in 5th, and the death metal bassist William Murderface rolls out in 6th. In 7th, it'll be Ben Tennyson, and beside him in 8th, the rookie Daria Morgendorffer. In 9th, it'll be the pony Applejack, and rounding out the top 10 – Kim Possible. Dale Jarrett will get on the radio while you look through the rest of the starting grid;

Jarrett: Danny Phantom, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, do you have me?

Danny: I have you, D.J.

Jarrett: Well, you're in quite a predicament to start this race – you may be well in Chase contention, but you're starting back in 31st, on a road course, where racing is much more difficult-

Danny: C'mon, Dale, really? This is Danny Phantom, the ghost boy that you're talking to! If anyone gets in my way, I'll just go ghost and go right through them like I always do. Of course, I know that a road course is much more difficult than an oval, but I think we'll be able to gain some spots, stay out of trouble and certainly stay in Chase contention!

Jarrett: And what about things between you and Stan Smith?

Danny: Don't get me started, Jarrett! I'm just gonna leave it at this – if that government fascist tries anything on me, when I face him, what happened between Kevin Harvick and Juan Pablo Montoya back in '07 will look like peace talks compared to what I'll do to him!

Jarrett: Uh, okay, well good luck. Andy's gonna talk to your crew chief, now.

Danny: Whatever, 10-4.

Petree: Sam Manson, it's Andy Petree from ESPN, you have me?

Sam: Hi, Andy.

Petree: Hey, uh, Danny was talkin' with Dale about running this track, dealing with Stan Smith-

Sam: Well I'm all for Danny going ghost when the situation gets hot, but I'm really beginning to think that this BS between him and Stan may have gone too far. I mean, sure, I may look like a mean-spirited goth who advocates violence and murder, but I'm more of a pacifist type. A couple of times, I've tried to talk Danny out of it, but he seems hellbent for leather-

Danny: I can hear you, Sam!

Petree: Alright, I'm just gonna sign off before this gets too out of hand. Good luck to you both.

Danny/Sam: 10-4!

…

**The cars emerge out of turn 11 – the pace car then pulls off of the track and onto pit road. Then, the green flag waves, and the cars take off full throttle.**

Bestwick: We are green at Watkins Glen!

**Butt-Head spins the tires on the start, giving the lead to Dudley Puppy.**

Butt-Head: Piece of shit! This car's full of more shit than 2 Girls 1 Cup, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!

**Going into turn 1...**

Bestwick: Trouble, turn 1! William Murderface has spun into the runoff area - looks like he's gonna get back goin'. We stay green!

Murderface: (pounds steering wheel)

**William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baked Beans Toyota gets loose in turn 1, spinning out into the runoff area outside of turn 1. Luckily, no one else hits him, Murderface gets the car back up and running (after losing a TON of track position!), and the race stays green.**

** On lap 3, Hoagie Gilligan moves up into the top 5.**

** Meanwhile, Dudley Puppy continues to hold the lead. On lap 5, Spongebob SquarePants moves up into the 2nd spot. By lap 7, Spongebob is right on Dudley's rear bumper, trying to take the lead. But every time Spongebob tries to outbrake Dudley going into a tight turn, Dudley slams the door on him heading out of the turn.**

Spongebob: No wonder I can't get my boating license!

Patrick: Well, you're not driving a boat...

Spongebob: You're right, Patrick. I'll pull through!

**On lap 11;**

Frylock: Dammit, we've lost all oil pressure!

Carl: Shit! Just bring the car in, Fryman.

Frylock: Man, just after my first win, this happens. Unbelievable!

**On lap 11, Frylock's #15 5 Hour Energy loses all its oil pressure, effectively keeping them from continuing the event. A frustrated Frylock limps through turn 11, onto pit road and into the garage, and the race is over for him.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 14, Spongebob SquarePants starts to fall back. Then, on lap 18, Kenny McCormick passes him for 2nd. Kenny then starts to run down Dudley Puppy, with his sights set on the lead...**

** While he does that, on lap 20, Applejack climbs up into the top 5.**

** Dudley Puppy is still leading on lap 24 when...**

Bestwick: Big crash coming out of turn 1!

Jarrett: The #56 of Meatwad and the #27 of Ed are both heavily damaged!

Petree: I believe they just ran into each other.

Meatwad: How the hell could that dumbass monobrow have not known I was there? Fuck!

Ed: He just came out of nowhere, baby sister! I swear!

Sarah: Oh, forget it. We were doing horrible, anyway.

**On lap 24, Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota spins out while exiting turn 1. Ed heads down to that side of the track trying to get around another car - Jonny 2X4, his spotter, does not see the #56 car in time to warn him, and Ed runs right into Meatwad, destroying both cars' front ends. Both characters are unhurt, however; when they get out, Meatwad manages to yell some at Ed before track crews lead them both away for the mandatory trip to the infield care center.**

** All of the cars then make their first pit stops of the race - since the pit road is on the right instead of the left like it is in every other race, the pit crews take a second or two longer than normal, as a result of doing things mirrored, so to speak. Nonetheless, no mishaps occur, everyone gets four tires and fuel, and the top 10 at the restart will be as follows;**

**1. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**4. Butt-Head (#48)**

**5. Applejack (#18)**

**6. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Hank Hill (#95)**

**9. Kim Possible (#51)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

** The restart is done on lap 28. Kenny McCormick gets the jump on Dudley Puppy on the restart; Kenny is, as a result, propelled into the lead.**

Wendy: You're clear of the #99 - you're leading this race, Kenny!

Kenny: Mmf-pm!

**On lap 32, Hoagie Gilligan advances into the top 15.**

** Butt-Head moves up to 3rd on lap 33, and 2nd on lap 35. Then by lap 38, he finds himself crawling up Kenny McCormick's tailpipe.**

Kenny: Mfmf pffpm-pppfm fffm ppfmm ppfm fp pmf, fpmmpf!

Stan: Dude, just stay calm and don't pay attention to the #48. Just keep on driving as if he wasn't there.

Kenny: Mmf-pm.

**Kim Possible falls out of the top 10 on lap 39.**

** On lap 41;**

Bestwick: And we got problems - the #22 car is off the pace! Looks like he'll make it back to the pits - we stay green.

Bender: Dammit, I can't shift! I think the fuckin' transmission just broke! Piece of shit!

Farnsworth: (facepalm)

**On lap 41, Bender's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford breaks its transmission. As he vents his frustrations in his cockpit, Bender limps back onto pit road, behind the wall and into his team's garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** On lap 44;**

Bestwick: For the lead, through the inner loop... Butt-Head has it! He is your new race leader!

Butt-Head: I just killed Kenny, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!

**On lap 47...**

Bestwick: And there's trouble, big trouble in turn 10!

Petree: The #55 of Master Shake has gone head-on into the outside wall - he went into that thing like a rocket!

Jarrett: I don't think he could steer the car at all, and it just went.

Shake: I don't get it! Both out front tires just blew at once! And I just lost it! What the fuck!

Ignignokt: I don't get it, either.

**On lap 47, Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota blows both its front tires headed into turn 10 - this leaves the car unable to turn, and it goes head-on into the outside wall outside of turn 10, totaling the car.**

** After pit stops;**

Bestwick: And we've just heard that Timmy Turner was too fast on pit road entrance AND exit! That'll be a drive-thru.

Timmy: I wish that hadn't happened!

Cosmo: Uh, wouldn't that be against Da Rules?

Wanda: Just do the drive-thru penalty, sport.

Timmy: (sigh)

**Timmy Turner is busted for speeding on pit road, and he'll have to serve a drive-thru penalty. Meanwhile, this will be the top 10 at the restart;**

**1. Butt-Head (#48)**

**2. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**3. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**6. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**7. Hank Hill (#95)**

**8. The Warden (#32)**

**9. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**10. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

** The race is restarted on lap 50.**

** Hoagie Gilligan makes his way up into the top 10 on lap 54.**

** On lap 55, Applejack passes Dudley Puppy for 3rd place. She then slips by Kenny McCormick for 2nd on lap 57, thereby setting her sights on Butt-Head.**

** Meanwhile, Ferb Fletcher is also moving up the field; he passes Dudley Puppy for 4th on lap 58, and on lap 60 he passes Kenny McCormick for 3rd.**

** On lap 63, Ferb Fletcher is right up on Applejack's bumper - however, Applejack, refuses to let him pass. She blocks Ferb off whenever he veers over to one side to try and make the pass. As a consequence of this, Butt-Head, little by little, pulls away...**

** Also as a result, by lap 65, Kenny McCormick catches up to both Ferb Fletcher and Applejack, turning it into a three-way battle for 2nd. However, he can't clear either of them.**

** On lap 69...**

Bestwick: Trouble coming out of turn 4 - it's the #24 of Beavis!

Jarrett: Wow, that's someplace where you hardly ever see any crashes.

Petree: I think he just went wide and lost it.

Beavis: The car wouldn't turn! Maybe it would if it were a trannie, heh-hmm-hmm-hee!

**On lap 69, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet goes wide through turn 4 and veers into the wall. Beavis is unable to maintain control of his car on the grass, which leads to him spinning head-on into the wall on the other side, effectively disabling his racing machine. As the wrecker is summoned to the scene, Beavis exits the wreckage under his own power and heads to the infield care center.**

** During the caution, all of the cars still on track take to the pits. Everyone takes on four tires and packs it full of fuel, as this will be the last pit stops of this race.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Butt-Head (#48)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**4. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**5. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**6. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**8. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**9. Hank Hill (#95)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

** The restart occurs on lap 72. Butt-Head spins the tires on the restart, allowing Applejack and Ferb Fletcher to get by.**

Butt-Head: ARE YOU FUCKIN' SHITTIN' ME?!

**On lap 75, Hoagie Gilligan moves up to the top 5.**

** On lap 77;**

Bestwick: Out of turn 9, Ferb Fletcher slips by Applejack - he is the new race leader!

Baljeet: Yes! We're leading with just over 12 laps to go, keep it up!

Ferb: Yeah, 10-4, Baljeet.

**On lap 80, Hoagie Gilligan moves up to 3rd place - on lap 84, he catches up with Ferb Fletcher and Applejack, resulting in a three-way battle for the win. On lap 86, he passes Applejack for the lead.**

Wally: You're just one spot away from winning this thing, mate! C'mon, buddy, bring it home!

Hoagie: You got it!

**On lap 89;**

Bestwick: Turn 2! William Murderface has blown his engine. We stay green!

Murderface: Just lost the engine! God damn this piece of crap!

**On lap 89, William Murderface's #47 Bush's Baken Beans Toyota blows its engine. The race stays under green as Murderface tries to take the car back all the way around the track and back onto pit road...**

** The white flag flies on lap 90; Ferb Fletcher is the race leader, Hoagie Gilligan is in 2nd, and Applejack is in 3rd. All three are very closely packed and are duking it out for the win. They stay this way going through turn 1, but going into turn 2...**

Bestwick: Trouble! Applejack has lost it in the turn!

Jarrett: No caution! We're still under green!

Applejack: There was a bunch of oil on the track! I couldn't handle it!

Pinkie Pie: (sigh)

**As it turns out, as a result of William Murderface's #47 car blowing its engine and leaking oil, the track from turn 2 all the way to turn 11 has oil all over it, making it very slick all the way around. This leads to Applejack's #18 M & M's Toyota spinning out in turn 2 - she keeps it off the wall and everyone (miraculously) avoids her, but she is effectively out of contention.**

** This leaves the race between Ferb Fletcher and Hoagie Gilligan. They make it through turns 3 & 4 with little problem while continuing to run side-by-side, but going into the chicane;**

Bestwick: Oh, they've lost it, they're on the grass... wait! They both saved it!

Petree: They're both still in it, but they're having an impossible time controlling those racecars!

Hoagie: Dammit, why didn't NASCAR call a caution?! There's oil everywhere!

Wally: Just try and get past that #9 car at all costs!

Ferb: How am I supposed to drive in all this bloody oil?

Baljeet: Just try not to wreck, and hold off that #2 car!

**Due to the oil on the track, Hoagie Gilligan and Ferb Fletcher just barely manage to get through the inner loop without crashing. They're still side-by-side going into turn 9;**

Bestwick: Oh, they touch, and they're still going! Now Hoagie Gilligan's in the lead!

Wally: C'mon, buddy, just a bit more...

**After the two cars almost crash again, Hoagie Gilligan takes the lead going out of turn 9. Ferb Fletcher then looks to the inside of Hoagie entering turn 10;**

Bestwick: They're sliding again, are they gonna lose it - no! Ferb Fletcher's back in the lead!

Baljeet: Just one more turn!

**Ferb Fletcher comes back up with the lead after avoiding another crash in turn 10. The two cars then slide their way through turn 11...**

Bestwick: Ferb Fletcher holds the lead through the final turn! Hoagie Gilligan's not gonna catch 'im! The checkered flag is out, and Ferb Fletcher wins the Cheez-It 355 at the Glen!

Baljeet: YES! Ferb, you've finally done it! You've finally won a NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series race!

Ferb: That's fabulous, indeed. I'll be seeing you in Victory Lane.

Hoagie: (sigh)

Wally: Oh, cheer up, mate! Getting through all that bloody oil without crashing - if that's not awesome driving, I don't know what is!

Hoagie: (smiles) Yeah, you're right.

**Ferb Fletcher holds on through the final turn to win the Cheez-It 355 at the Glen, while Hoagie Gilligan settles for 2nd. Butt-Head comes in 3rd, Spongebob SquarePants is 4th, Dudley Puppy places 5th, Kenny McCormick claims 6th, Daria Morgendorffer finishes 7th, Kim Possible gets 8th, Ben Tennyson takes 9th and The Warden rounds out the top 10.**

** Ferb Fletcher does a long burnout down the pit straight to celebrate as the crowd cheers him on. He then heads into Victory Lane, where he gets out of the car and celebrates with his race team. Being very modest with words, he decides not to a post-race interview. Then;**

Phineas: Come here, bro!

**Ferb's stepbrother Phineas Flynn, who's joining him in Victory Lane, pulls Ferb in for a big bearhug, showing how proud he is of him.**

**...**

** Cheez-It 355 at the Glen race results;**

**1. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**3. Butt-Head (#48)**

**4. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**5. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**6. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**7. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**8. Kim Possible (#51)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**10. The Warden (#32)**

**11. Hank Hill (#95)**

**12. Katara (#34)**

**13. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**14. Aang (#35)**

**15. Grim (#33)**

**16. Francine Smith (#36)**

**17. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**18. Eddy (#31)**

**19. Applejack (#18)**

**20. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**21. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**22. Edd (#29)**

**23. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**24. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**25. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**26. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**27. Stan Smith (#7)**

**28. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**29. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**30. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**31. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**32. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**33. Sokka (#38)**

**34. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**35. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**36. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**37. William Murderface (#47) (DNF; engine)**

**38. Beavis (#24) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Bender (#22) (DNF; transmission)**

**41. Ed (#27) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Meatwad (#56) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Frylock (#15) (DNF; oil pressure)**

** Point standings after 22 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 547 points**

**2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 540 points**

**3. Rainbow Dash (#20); 536 points**

**4. Stan Smith (#7); 535 points**

**5. Peter Griffin (#93); 531 points**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1); 526 points**

**7. Eric Cartman (#14)/Danny Phantom (#16); 524 points**

**9. Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Homer Simpson (#83); 523 points**

**11. Edd (#29)/Timmy Turner (#17); 520 points**

**13. Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Eddy (#31); 491 points**

**15. Applejack (#18); 485 points**

**16. Butt-Head (#48)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 484 points**

**18. Dudley Puppy (#99)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 483 points**

**20. Frylock (#15); 482 points**

**21. Ben Tennyson (#10); 480 points**

**22. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)/The Warden (#32); 479 points**

**24. Kim Possible (#51)/Katara (#34); 476 points**

**26. Hank Hill (#95)/Jake Long [R] (#30)/Aang (#35); 475 points**

**29. Grim (#33); 474 points**

**30. Francine Smith (#36)/Ed (#27); 473 points**

**32. Early Cuyler (#21)/Phineas Flynn (#43)/Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Beavis (#24)/Bender (#22)/Meatwad (#56); 472 points**

**38. Foxxy Love (#98)/Master Shake (#55); 471 points**

**40. Sokka (#38); 455 points**

**41. Hank Venture [R] (#13)/Gumball Watterson (#87); 454 points**

**43. William Murderface (#47); 452 points**

** Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 279 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 231 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 211 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 210 points**

** Next race; Pure Michigan 400 at Michigan International Speedway.**


	41. Pure Michigan 400

** Just four races left until the Chase! And now, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series is returning to what is arguably the fastest track on the circuit, Michigan International Speedway! Based in the Irish Hills region about 70 miles west of Detroit, this track is a 2-mile D-shaped oval. The turns are banked at 18 degrees, the frontstretch is banked at 12 degrees and the backstretch is banked at 5 degrees.**

** This race shall be dubbed the Pure Michigan 400 – it will be run over 200 laps, equaling a total of 400 miles.**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Master Shake (#55)**

**2. William Murderface (#47)**

**3. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**4. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**5. Beavis (#24)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. Kim Possible (#51)**

**8. Ed (#27)**

**9. Aang (#35)**

**10. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**11. Sokka (#38)**

**12. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**13. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**14. Bender (#22)**

**15. Grim (#33)**

**16. Katara (#34)**

**17. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**18. Francine Smith (#36)**

**19. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**20. The Warden (#32)**

**21. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**22. Hank Hill (#95)**

**23. Edd (#29)**

**24. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**25. Rainbow Dash (#20)**

**26. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42)**

**27. Danny Phantom (#16)**

**28. Homer Simpson (#83)**

**29. Stan Smith (#7)**

**30. Nigel Uno (#1)**

**31. Abigail Lincoln (#5)**

**32. Peter Griffin (#93)**

**33. Eric Cartman (#14)**

**34. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)**

**35. Butt-Head (#48)**

**36. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**37. Eddy (#31)**

**38. Frylock (#15)**

**39. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**40. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**41. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**42. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**43. Applejack (#18)**

**ESPN?**

Bestwick: After an unexpectedly intense finish to last week's Cheez-It 355 at the Glen, we now find ourselves in the Irish Hills in Michigan, at Michigan International Speedway, arguably one of, if not the fastest track on the NASCAR circuit. We've just four races left until the Chase for the Cartoon Cup, and the situation continues to be red hot as he head into round 23 of this NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series season, the Pure Michigan 400. Thanks for joining us, I'm Allen Bestwick, alongside Dale Jarrett and Andy Petree.

Jarrett: Actually, Allen, it's not as hot as it has been. Yes, the standings were incredibly close during the first half of the season, but now, we have a solid 29-point differential between 12th and 13th place with just four races to go.

Petree: But of course, that doesn't mean that our Chase roster has been decided just yet, especially with the wild card picture. Right now, as they run, the two wild cards would be Edd and Timmy Turner, since no one in this series has more than one win this season. But if someone else from 11th to 20th in points scores a 2nd race win, that will change everything!

Bestwick: Indeed, that could happen today, as we now go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, legendary cartoon superhero, Mighty Mouse!

Mighty Mouse: Ladies and gentletoons, start your engines!

**The cars all fire up their engines, take some time to warm them up, and are then led out by the pace car.**

Bestwick: Master Shake, defending winner of this race is on pole – in 2nd is the death metal bassist William Murderface. Right behind them is the pony Twilight Sparkle in 3rd, and Richard Petty's iconic #43, driven by Phineas Flynn, in 4th. Then in Row 3, it's Beavis in 5th, and Meatwad in 6th. Behind them in 7th is the Phoenix Racing #51 of Kim Possible, and beside her in 8th is Ed. In 9th is the airbender Aang, and rounding out the top 10 is the rookie Daria Morgendorffer. While you look through the rest of the starting grid, Dale Jarrett will get on the radio;

Jarrett: Rainbow Dash, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, you have me?

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Dale.

Jarrett: Hey, so you're starting this race back in 25th, but you're solidly in Chase contention with just four races left, while your nemesis, the rookie Ahsoka Tano, is the points leader-

Rainbow Dash: Don't remind me, Dale. The only reason I haven't laid a hoof on that Jedi bitch these last few weeks is so that I don't run the risk of crashing myself out of the Chase! I still hate her friggin' guts! And once the Chase is on, she's gonna get it!

Jarrett: Hmmm, well you seem to have built up some steam – I'm just gonna sign off now, while Andy talks to your crew chief.

Rainbow Dash: Whatever.

Petree: Fluttershy, it's Andy Petree from ESPN, do you have me?

Fluttershy: (giggles) Hi, Andy!

Petree: Hey, real quick, we were just talkin' with Rainbow Dash about her feud with Ahsoka Tano – it's been stagnant as of late, but she tells us that it'll be back on once we get to the Chase. What about you, what are your thoughts?

Fluttershy: I just wish they'd make peace. When we grew up, we were taught to love and be friends with all living beings. And a lot of the stuff that Rainbow Dash has done racing in this series has totally gone against those principles. And I really hope she reconsiders her battle plan before someone gets killed.

Petree: Us too. Well good luck with today's race.

Fluttershy: Thanks!

…

**When the pace laps are completed, the pace car pulls down onto pit road. A few seconds later, the green flag waves, and the cars accelerate full throttle.**

Bestwick: And the Pure Michigan 400 is green!

**Master Shake gets an excellent start off of the line, pulling well ahead of the rest of the pack heading out of turn 2 on the first lap.**

Shake: Alright, looks like we're on our way, heh heh!

Ignignokt: Just be careful and don't get too cocky. Shit could happen at any moment.

Shake: Yeah, 10-4.

**Meanwhile, on lap 5, Phineas Flynn moves up to 2****nd**** place, where he starts to gradually run down Master Shake.**

** On lap 11, Aang falls out of the top 10.**

** By lap 16, Phineas Flynn has caught up to Master Shake.**

Isabella: Alright, go get 'im, Phineas!

**But for several laps, every time Phineas alters his line in an attempt to make the pass, Shake moves up in front of him, blocking his forward progress.**

Shake: You're not sneakin' past me, triangle-head!

**Their bickering allows Twilight Sparkle to catch up with them both – by lap 23, she turns it into a three-way battle for the lead. She hangs back for a few laps; then on lap 28, her horn begins to glow…**

Shake: What the- the car just moved over by itself!

Phineas: Why did the car just do this?

Bestwick: Oh, and look at Twilight Sparkle just slip right through the #55 and the #43! She takes the lead with authority!

Spike: Clear on both sides, and you're in the lead!

Twilight: 10-4, Spike.

**On lap 28, Twilight Sparkle uses her pony magic on Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota and Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford, casting them aside to the edges of the track and allowing herself to slip in between them both and take the lead.**

** Then, on lap 34, this happens;**

Bestwick: Trouble! Two cars crashing on the backstretch!

Jarrett: You can see the #31 of Eddy in the inside retaining wall and the #9 of Ferb Fletcher in the outside retaining wall.

Petree: It's all part of some chain reaction started by someone else…

Ferb: What is that sponge's problem?

Baljeet: Beats me.

Eddy: Why that dirty no-good sponge!

Rolf: Vengeance would be inadvisable, lacking-in-stature Ed-boy. We can't possess any more Mother Mary-forsaken baggage than we already carry whilst we attempt to conquer the three races ahead of us and hopefully force our way into the Chase for the empty Cartoon Cup.

**On lap 34, Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet clips the left-rear fender of Eddy's #31 Caterpillar Chevrolet, causing it to go into a spin whilst clipping the right-rear fender of Ferb Fletcher's #9 DeWalt/Stanley Ford. Eddy's car careens into the inside wall while Ferb spins head-on into the outside wall. Ultimately, both cars are totaled, but neither character is injured.**

** Ben Tennyson's #10 GoDaddy Chevrolet gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**2. Master Shake (#55)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**4. Meatwad (#56)**

**5. Kim Possible (#51)**

**6. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**7. Ed (#27)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. William Murderface (#47)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

**The race restarts on lap 40.**

** Bender falls out of the top 10 on lap 45.**

** Meanwhile, by lap 49, Twilight Sparkle has built up a considerable lead over the rest of the pack; she's already well over a second ahead of 2****nd**** place Master Shake.**

Twilight: Hmm, I like where this race is going for us.

Rarity: 10-4 to that!

**On lap 54, Daria Morgendorffer moves up into the top 5.**

** Phineas Flynn is up to 2****nd**** on lap 58, at which he point he once again starts to rope in the leader…**

** …and by lap 65, he's right on top of her rear bumper. Twilight, however, is overconfident to the point that she neglects her fairy magic, and on lap 69;**

Bestwick: And there goes Phineas Flynn past the #11 of Twilight Sparkle – he is your new race leader!

Isabella: Alright, keep it up, Phineas! (blows kiss)

Phineas: (giggles) 10-4, Izzy.

**Then on lap 73;**

Bestwick: Smoke in turn 3 – the #18 of Applejack has lost its engine, caution is out!

Applejack: Oh, this is ridiculous! Another blown engine!

Pinkie Pie: (sigh) These are the things that happen that are beyond our control.

Applejack: Now you tell me!

**On lap 73, Applejack's #18 M & M's Toyota blows its engine, bringing out the caution. As her car billows smoke and leaks oil from the rear end, Applejack limps onto pit road and into the garage, effectively withdrawing from the race.**

** Stan Smith's #7 Accell Construction Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 30****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Master Shake (#55)**

**4. Kim Possible (#51)**

**5. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**6. Meatwad (#56)**

**7. William Murderface (#47)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. Ed (#27)**

**10. Grim (#33)**

**The race is restarted on lap 77, with Twilight Sparkle retaking the lead before the end of the lap.**

Twilight: You ain't beatin' me, you dumb, triangle-headed ginger!

**Meanwhile, Daria Morgendorffer passes Master Shake for the 3****rd**** spot on lap 81. She then slips right by Phineas Flynn for 2****nd**** on lap 86. From there, she starts to gain ground on Twilight Sparkle…**

** While that goes on, on lap 90, Beavis falls out of the top 10.**

** And then on lap 95, Daria Morgendorffer makes her presence known by giving Twilight a little bump in the rear.**

Twilight: Where the hell did that rookie come from?

Daria: Alright, let's see what we can make of this.

**For a few laps, Twilight Sparkle manages to keep Daria behind her, without even using her pony magic. But then, on lap 101;**

Jane: Outside, outside, and… clear! You're now leading!

Daria: Well alright, then!

Twilight: Dammit! I will not get beat by a damn rookie!

**Daria Morgendorffer slips underneath of Twilight Sparkle going through turns 1 and 2 to take the lead. She is still leading on lap 108 when…**

Bestwick: And we got trouble in turn 3!

Petree: Two cars around – the #48 of Butt-Head and the #78 of Spongebob SquarePants, caution is out.

Butt-Head: Stupid sponge wrecked me – kind of like how I wrecked his mom last night, a-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

Spongebob: That big, dumb meanie! Now we're out of the race! WHY?!

**On lap 108, Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet and Butt-Head's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet make contact in turn 3, causing them both to lose control and smack themselves into the outside wall and each other. Ultimately, both cars are damaged beyond repair. Spongebob and Butt-Head then get out of their cars and argue some before being led away by track personnel.**

** Ahsoka Tano's #42 Target Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 26****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**4. Kim Possible (#51)**

**5. Master Shake (#55)**

**6. William Murderface (#47)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. Ed (#27)**

**The restart occurs on lap 114, with Daria Morgendorffer getting a big jump on the rest of the pack.**

Twilight: Dammit!

**Meanwhile, on lap 120, William Murderface gets back up into the top 5.**

** On lap 125, Kim Possible moves past Phineas Flynn for 3****rd**** place. Then on lap 131, she gets by Twilight Sparkle to claim the 2****nd**** spot.**

Twilight: That no-good slut!

Ron: C'mon, Kimmy! Just one more and we'll be leading!

Kim: Roger that!

**Sure enough, on lap 132, Kim Possible has run down race leader Daria Morgendorffer and is right on her rear bumper, at which point she bumps Daria in much the same way Daria herself did to Twilight Sparkle.**

Daria: How the hell did that slut get all the way up here?

Quinn: Just shut up and drive!

Daria: Whatever.

**And Daria does just that – she shuts up and drives. But by lap 139, that proves to not be enough;**

Bestwick: Here they come, side-by-side to the line, will Kim Possible lead this lap…? Yes! Kim Possible clears Daria Morgendorffer in turn 1, she is your new race leader!

Ron: Awesome driving, Kimmy! (blows kiss)

Kim: Thanks, Ron!

Daria: Whore…!

**On lap 140;**

Bestwick: Another blown engine – this time, it's the #99 of Dudley Puppy, caution is out!

Dudley: Not again, Kitty!

Kitty: Don't look at me, Dudley! These things just happen even when we crew chiefs do everything right.

Dudley: (sigh)

**On lap 140, the caution flag comes out as Dudley Puppy's #99 Fastenal Ford blows its engine. Dudley dejectedly coasts back to pit road and into the garage, withdrawing from the event.**

** Edd's #29 Budweiser Chevrolet, running 1 lap down in 24****th**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Kim Possible (#51)**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**3. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. William Murderface (#47)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Ed (#27)**

**8. Grim (#33)**

**9. Beavis (#24)**

**10. Aang (#35)**

**The restart is sanctioned on lap 143, with Daria Morgendorffer taking the lead back from Kim Possible on said lap.**

Daria: Looks like I showed that whore-slut-bitch who's boss!

**Aang falls back out of the top 10 on lap 150.**

** Ed moves up into the top 5 on lap 155.**

** On lap 159, Twilight Sparkle passes Kim Possible for 2****nd**** place, looking to catch Daria Morgendorffer and take the lead back.**

** Meanwhile, Katara, whilst running further back in the pack, is having trouble with the lapped car of Kenny McCormick, who, despite being a lap down, will not let Katara pass. By lap 165, Katara's patience has run out completely, at which point she sticks her hand out the window and starts waving it around…**

Jarrett: And there's trouble, big trouble in turn 1!

Bestwick: The #39 of Kenny McCormick just spontaneously started letting go of all its automotive fluids, and it's gone hard into the turn 1 wall!

Petree: Now I have no possible idea how that could've happened…!

Katara: Serves him right!

**On lap 165, Katara uses her waterbending powers on Kenny McCormick's #39 Quicken Loans Chevrolet, causing fuel, oil, brake fluid, antifreeze, differential fluid, power steering fluid, etc. to spew out from the car in all directions; the car loses control and crashes hard into the turn 1 wall. Miraculously, no one else crashes in the fluid.**

** Emergency crews scrambled to the wrecked #39 car; they are forced to extricate Kenny from the car – due to a malfunction in the HANS device, Kenny suffered a basilar skull fracture, and is now showing any vital signs.**

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

**Meanwhile, Timmy Turner's #17 Best Buy Ford, running 1 lap down in 23****rd**** gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**2. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**3. Kim Possible (#51)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Ed (#27)**

**6. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. Sokka (#38)**

**10. Aang (#35)**

**We restart on lap 170; Daria Morgendorffer pulls way ahead of the rest of the pack very quickly.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 176, Kim Possible passes Twilight Sparkle for 2****nd****, looking to not let the win get away from her…**

** On lap 183, Ed moves up to 3****rd****.**

** And by lap 190, Kim Possible has caught to Daria Morgendorffer, ensuing the battle for the win. Kim manages to get the lead on lap 194, but Daria takes it back on lap 197.**

Daria: Just three more laps!

Kim: Dammit, Daria, you're not taking this away from me…!

**The white flag flies on lap 200, with Daria Morgendorffer and Kim Possible running 1-2. They stay this way through the first two turns. Kim then gets beside Daria on her outside going through turn 3, but headed onto the home stretch, Daria gets back out in front…**

Bestwick: And that was Kim Possible's last chance! Checkered flag is out, Daria Morgendorffer wins the Pure Michigan 400 – her first ever win in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series!

Quinn: Yay, you've finally won a race, sis!

Daria: That we did, Quinn, That we did.

Kim: Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!

Ron: Kim, relax. You still did great. And that dinner I promised you is still on!

Kim: You had me at dinner.

**Daria Morgendorffer holds off Kim Possible to score her first career win in the Pure Michigan 400 – Kim settles for 2****nd****. Ed is 3****rd****, Master Shake takes 4****th****, Phineas Flynn finishes 5****th****, Twilight Sparkle takes 6****th****, Meatwad gets 7****th****, Beavis places 8****th****, Aang claims 9****th**** and Sokka rounds out the top 10.**

** Daria elects not to do a burnout – instead, she just takes the checkered flag and goes right into Victory Lane. Also, not being a camera person, she turns down the interview with ESPN – she simply stands proud atop her car while her race team celebrates the win. That's when her sister and crew chief Quinn Morgendorffer comes running at her.**

Quinn: You did it, sis!

**Quinn envelops her sister in a big bearhug – something that Daria has never taken kindly to.**

Daria: Quinn, come on, get off me!

Quinn: Sorry, I just can't believe that we finally won!

Daria: I can…

**Pure Michigan 400 race results;**

**1. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88)**

**2. Kim Possible (#51)**

**3. Ed (#27)**

**4. Master Shake (#55)**

**5. Phineas Flynn (#43)**

**6. Twilight Sparkle (#11)**

**7. Meatwad (#56)**

**8. Beavis (#24)**

**9. Aang (#35)**

**10. Sokka (#38)**

**11. William Murderface (#47)**

**12. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**13. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**14. Foxxy Love (#98)**

**15. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**16. Bender (#22)**

**17. Francine Smith (#36)**

**18. Grim (#33)**

**19. Hank Hill (#95)**

**20. The Warden (#32)**

**21. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**22. Katara (#34)**

**23. Timmy Turner (#17)**

**24. Edd (#29) (1 lap down)**

**25. Homer Simpson (#83) (1 lap down)**

**26. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (1 lap down)**

**27. Danny Phantom (#16) (1 lap down)**

**28. Rainbow Dash (#20) (1 lap down)**

**29. Nigel Uno (#1) (1 lap down)**

**30. Peter Griffin (#93) (1 lap down)**

**31. Stan Smith (#7) (1 lap down)**

**32. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (1 lap down)**

**33. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2) (1 lap down)**

**34. Eric Cartman (#14) (1 lap down)**

**35. Ben Tennyson (#10) (2 laps down)**

**36. Frylock (#15) (2 laps down)**

**37. Kenny McCormick (#39) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Dudley Puppy (#99) (DNF; engine)**

**39. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Butt-Head (#48) (DNF; accident)**

**41. Applejack (#18) (DNF; engine)**

**42. Eddy (#31) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (DNF; accident)**

**Point standings after 23 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 559 points**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20); 552 points**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 551 points**

**4. Stan Smith (#7); 548 points**

**5. Peter Griffin (#93); 545 points**

**6. Homer Simpson (#83); 542 points**

**7. Timmy Turner (#17)/Abigail Lincoln (#5)/Danny Phantom (#16)/Nigel Uno (#1); 541 points**

**11. Edd (#29); 540 points**

**12. Eric Cartman (#14); 534 points**

**13. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 527 points**

**14. Kim Possible (#51); 519 points**

**15. Ed (#27); 514 points**

**16. Master Shake (#55)/Phineas Flynn (#43); 512 points**

**18. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 511 points**

**19. Aang (#35); 510 points**

**20. Meatwad (#56); 509 points**

**21. Beavis (#24); 508 points**

**22. The Warden (#32); 503 points**

**23. Foxxy Love (#98)/Early Cuyler (#21); 501 points**

**25. Bender (#22)/Francine Smith (#36)/Grim (#33)/Hank Hill (#95); 500 points**

**29. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Katara (#34); 498 points**

**31. Eddy (#31); 493 points**

**32. Ferb Fletcher (#9); 492 points**

**33. Frylock (#15)/Kenny McCormick (#39); 490 points**

**35. Sokka (#38)/Ben Tennyson (#10)/Dudley Puppy (#99)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 489 points**

**39. Butt-Head (#48)/Applejack (#18); 488 points**

**41. William Murderface (#47); 485 points**

**42. Hank Venture [R] (#13); 482 points**

**43. Gumball Watterson (#87); 481 points**

**Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano (#42); 286 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 251 points**

**3. Hank Venture (#13); 220 points**

**4. Jake Long (#30); 219 points**

**Next race; Irwin Tools Night Race at Bristol Motor Speedway.**


	42. Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

This next side story takes place immediately following the Pure Michigan 400 at Michigan International Speedway.

We'll focus on Sam Manson and Danny Phantom – despite still being well in Chase contention with three races to go, Danny is still very down over having finished 1 lap down in 27th place.

"I don't get it, Sam!" he laments. "This is supposed to be our team's absolute best race track! But we finish 27th, Timmy finishes 23rd, and Dudley blows his engine out and finishes 38th – I just don't get it!

"Look on the bright side, Danny," Sam responds as she holds Danny's hand. "We're still well in Chase contention – we're tied for 7th with Timmy, Abby and Nigel, and Cartman and Double D are still behind us, so we're still well in it."

"I hope you're right," replies Danny as he gives Sam a quick kiss on the cheek. "Anyway, I gotta get going – me, Jazz and our parents are going on a little family outing; we're headed to Detroit to see the car factories."

"Well, I certainly hope that those automakers are engineering more green technology right now," Sam replies. "Anyway, I'm gonna go pack up – you guys have fun!"

"We will!" smiles Danny as he gives Sam one more kiss. "See ya!" he shouts out as he turns to leave the racetrack.

After waving Danny goodbye, Sam heads to find a concession stand – having spent over three hours on the crew chief's stand has made her hungry, and she is need of something to eat. Eventually, she sees a food stand and eagerly approaches it.

"Would you care for some organic food?" the waiter asks in a Russian accent. "I too share your annoying concern for the environment."

Sam, however, is suddenly struck aback when he sees the man's face, coupled with the tone of his voice. "Stan Smith?"

"No! No, I am ex-Communist named Petrov," says the man. "Like you, I embrace insane left-wing philosophies which are best discussed in comfort of parent's home."

But Sam just stands there with her arms folded, clearly not impressed. "I know it's you, Stan."

Realizing that his disguise has not worked, Stan Smith yells out, "Now, Roger!" From here, all Sam can perceive are two footsteps coming up from behind her, and a cloth with chloroform on it being pressed against her face, asphyxiating her and knocking her unconscious...

...

Eventually, Sam comes to, and gasps in shock and fright; she finds herself in a dark room with all kinds of devices of torture on the walls. She herself is tied down spread-eagled to the table, totally naked. Staring her down from above it is none other than her boyfriend Danny Phantom's current arch-nemesis, Stan Smith, along with his crew chief, the extraterrestrial known as Roger Smith.

"Where... where am I?" she asks in a sort of daze.

"You're at Tommy Baldwin Racing headquarters, bitch!" Roger gloats. "My buddy Stan here turned this basement into a torture chamber – clever, ain't it?"

"Let me go, you bastards!" Sam cries out in fright.

"Oh, we'll let you go," Stan sneers, "when you tell us that ghost fag's weakness!"

"I will not betray my love like that!" Sam shouts defiantly. "Now let me out!"

"I thought you might say that," Stan says as he holds a whip up in his hand. Before Sam can speak, Stan lashes the whip across Sam's chest – she bellows aloud painfully as it strikes her across both of her breasts with extreme force.

"Hippie scum!" Stan growls. "I know you know that ghost fag's weakness!" With that, he whips her once again, this time across the abdomen, making Sam scream aloud in agony once again.

"I'll never talk, you fascist pig!" Sam yells. "And I'm not a hippie, I'm a goth!"

As their form of a response, Roger grabs a cane and starts to beat Sam relentlessly. Sam is defenseless as the metal rod strikes her repeatedly all over her body, inciting bleeding from her head as she cries out in anguish.

"Talk, you socialist slut!" Roger roars as he hits Sam one more time with the cane.

"Never!" Sam says with whatever strength she can muster.

"Looks like regular techniques won't cut it," Stan observes. "Luckily, there is one method that is known to be very effective." Having said that, Stan gets a wet cloth, dips it in water and puts it over Sam's face, over her breathing passages. Then, he takes a water can, points it over Sam's face, and starts to pour it on.

Sam writhes around as the water being poured on her covered face asphyxiates her – despite not actually being underwater, her lungs are closed off by her body's automatic gag reflex, giving her the sensation of drowning. She feels like giving in and talking, but her pride drives her to do otherwise, and by the time the can of water is empty, she still hasn't talked.

"I won't betray Danny!" she snarls.

"Oh, really?" Roger says as he takes out an iPod with a pair of waterproof headphones. As he puts them on Sam's ears, he explains tauntingly, "I got some of the most brutal death metal music on this bitch, bitch! This'll make ya talk!"

At that moment, Stan returns, having just refilled the can with water. As he starts to pour it onto Sam's face, Roger hits PLAY on the iPod, turning the volume up to maximum. As Sam once again feels like drowning, he ears are now being battered by the music coming from Roger's iPod – to her, it doesn't even sound like music. Drums banging constantly, guitars indistinguishably crushing, vocals screaming and growling like mad – it sounds more like noise than music. But to Sam, that is irrelevant, as the extremity of the volume is close to breaking her eardrums.

But after a number of seconds, right as the can of water is empty, the music stops. While Sam takes some deep breaths to try and relief herself of what she's just been through, Stan and Roger are shocked when Roger's iPod stops.

"What the hell, Roger!" exclaims Stan.

"Dammit, the battery's dead!" Roger yells out in frustration when he sees what's gone wrong.

"Try all you want, I won't give in, you neocon asshole!" Sam growls.

"Hmmm, well it looks like there's only one option left," Stan sighs.

"Ooh, ooh, do I get to rape her?" Roger excitedly asks.

"Actually, I have something even more painful in mind," Stan sneers as he gets a power drill down from the wall and hands it to Roger. He then whispers something in his ear. This gives Roger an extremely maniacal smile on his face. He takes the drill, and moves up to Sam, saying, "I'm gonna fuck you in the ass with this drill, bitch!"

"Yeah, teach that Communist whore not to fuck with us!" replies Stan.

"AAAAH! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!" Sam is finally terrorized into extreme fear for her life as Roger turns on the power drill to full power. As Sam continues to cry out for help, Roger aims the drill towards Sam's anus, getting closer and closer, little by little.

"Cry all you want, bitch," Roger taunts. "Neither the hippies, the punks, the goths nor even the Soviets will save you, heh heh!" Then, just as the drill is about to penetrate Sam's sphincter...

"ALRIGHT, I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" Roger turns off the drill as Sam speaks, "Valerie Gray! She has a shop right by Roush Fenway Racing headquarters! She sells a large amount of weapons that are very effective against ghosts-"

"What are they, you cunt?!" bellows Stan as he pulls his gun on Sam's temple.

"Ecto Grenade Launchers and Anti-Echo Shrunken-like disks are the most effective!" cries Sam. "She has lots of them in stock! Now please spare me!"

"Bravo, Sam Manson," Stan sarcastically applauds. "You just betrayed your lover, and now, he's fallen right into our hands, all because of you."

As a tear of guilt falls from Sam's eye, Roger observes, "Well we seem to have gotten what we needed... ooh! Ooh, can I rape her now, huh? Can I? Huh? Pleeease?

"Eh, do what you want," Stan shrugs. "We've got all we need."

Stan walks out the door of the basement, leaving Roger to defile Sam however he pleases. His face bestows a malicious grin and his mouth leaks drool filled with contaminated spittle as he strokes his massive, vein-infested member, getting it nice and hard for the assault.

"No... no, please...!" Sam trembles as Roger crawls over on top of her. Sam shivers almost to the point of screaming as Roger rubs his rancid skin up against her own, as he fondles her supple breasts with his crusty hands, as he bites her neck with his unkempt teeth.

"When I'll through with you," Roger croons as she strokes Sam's cheek with his filthy finger, "you'll forget all about ghost fag!"

"Oh, no, please! NO!" Sam screams. Roger, however, is not fazed. He raises his hips into the ready position, with his unwashed cock perfectly aimed and ready. Then, just as Roger is about to plunge it into Sam's pussy, the door bursts open. Roger turns around and looks to see none other than Stan's own children, Steve and Hayley (they serve as crew chief and spotter, respectively, for the #36 Golden Corral Chevrolet driven by their mother, Francine Smith).

"Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing?!" gasps a shocked Steve.

"Hey, your dad said I could," Roger snaps, "and I'm going for it!"

"You let her go, you dirty bastard!" Hayley demands.

"Make me!" shouts Roger as he turns his attention back to Sam. But before his penis can make contact with Sam's vagina, Hayley grabs a hold of him, pulling him off of Sam. Roger tries to break free, but Hayley maintains her grip, punching him several times to try and subdue him.

"It's okay, we'll get you out of here," Steve assures Sam as he frees her from the torture table. Meanwhile, Hayley slams Roger onto the ground, hitting his big round head on the hard floor several times, just enough to knock him out cold. Hayley then grabs a towel from a nearby rack before she and Steve get Sam out through the basement window.

As Steve wraps the towel around Sam, she shivers, "You... y-you saved me..." She then collapses into both of their arms, sobbing.

"It's alright," Hayley croons. "You're safe now."

"We got you," Steve replies. "Listen; neither me nor Hayley like this feud between our father and your boyfriend any more than you do."

"And for him and Roger to what they did," adds Hayley, "is nothing short of despicable. But it's over now, and we'll get you back to your team headquarters."

"Uh, t-thank you..." Sam sobs, having been heavily shaken from her experience. Without further hesitation, Steve and Hayley take both of Sam's arms and bring them around their shoulders as they proceed to escort her back to Roush Fenway Racing headquarters.

Little do they know that in a shop near that HQ known as Gray's Ghost Grabbers, Stan Smith is at the checkout desk, which is run by none other than Valerie Gray herself.

"So that's an Ecto Grenade Launcher and a set of Anti-Echo Shrunken-like disks, eh?" Valerie acknowledges. "I've gotta warn you, though, that Phantom is one tough customer. None of those weapons have helped me defeat him, nor have any other tactics up my sleeve-"

"Shut up and take my money!" Stan interjects as she slams the money down on the counter.

"Very well," Valerie shrugs as she hands Stan the weapons. "Have a good day."

And with that, Stan takes his newly-bought Ecto Grenade Launcher and Anti-Echo Shrunken-like disks out of the store and on the way back to Tommy Baldwin Racing headquarters, cackling to himself, "Oh, fuck, yeah! Next week at Bristol, that ghost fag won't even stand so much as a chance...!"


	43. Irwin Tools Night Race

** How heated could this get? With just three races left until the Chase, the Cartoon Cup Series is now at one of the most intense courses on the NASCAR circuit, the World's Fastest Half-Mile, Bristol Motor Speedway! Based in Bristol, Tennessee, this track is a 0.533-mile oval. The turns are banked at 26-30 degrees and the straightaways are banked at 6-10 degrees. It has pit roads on both the front and back straightaways – during a caution, cars who want to pit will go in through the back pit and out through the front pit.**

** This race, the Irwin Tools Night Race, will be 500 laps, for a total of 266.5 miles.**

** (Additionally, this track allows the drivers to choose their own entrance songs, something I neglected to do last time around, but certainly won't this time! Each character's entrance song will be in parentheses next to their name on the starting line-up.)**

** Starting grid;**

**1. Butt-Head (#48) ("5 Minutes Alone" by Pantera)**

**2. Eddy (#31) ("Money In The Bank" by Jim Johnston)**

**3. Applejack (#18) ("Family Tradition" by Hank Williams, Jr.)**

**4. Frylock (#15) ("Gangsta Gangsta" by N.W.A.)**

**5. William Murderface (#47) ("Face Fisted" by Dethklok)**

**6. Kenny McCormick (#39) ("Ha Ha You're Dead" by Green Day)**

**7. Ferb Fletcher (#9) ("God Save The Queen" by Sex Pistols)**

**8. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) ("You Better Swim" by Motorhead)**

**9. Ben Tennyson (#10) ("A Little Faster" by There For Tomorrow)**

**10. Dudley Puppy (#99) ("Live And Let Die" by Guns 'N' Roses)**

**11. Gumball Watterson (#87) ("Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent)**

**12. Hank Venture [R] (#13) ("So Far Away" by Staind)**

**13. Katara (#34) ("Aqualung" by Jethro Tull)**

**14. Sokka (#38) ("Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down)**

**15. Meatwad (#56) ("6 In The Mornin'" by Ice-T)**

**16. Early Cuyler (#21) ("Take This Job And Shove It" by David Allan Coe)**

**17. The Warden (#32) ("Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley)**

**18. Jake Long (#30) [R] ("Heart Of A Dragon" by Dragonforce)**

**19. Bender (#22) ("Robot Rock" by Daft Punk)**

**20. Francine Smith (#36) ("Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners)**

**21. Grim (#33) ("(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult)**

**22. Hank Hill (#95) ("Yahoos and Triangles" by The Refreshments)**

**23. Foxxy Love (#98) ("Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-n-Pepa)**

**24. Danny Phantom (#16) ("The Invisible Man" by Queen)**

**25. Stan Smith (#7) ("Party in the CIA" by "Weird Al" Yankovic)**

**26. Rainbow Dash (#20) ("Rainbow In The Dark" by Dio)**

**27. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) ("The Imperial March" by John Williams)**

**28. Homer Simpson (#83) ("Whiskey In The Jar" by Thin Lizzy)**

**29. Peter Griffin (#93) ("Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced" by Dropkick Murphys)**

**30. Nigel Uno (#1) ("One" by Metallica)**

**31. Hoagie Gilligan (#2) ("Aces High" by Iron Maiden)**

**32. Abigail Lincoln (#5) ("Abigail" by King Diamond)**

**33. Edd (#29) ("Mr. Spock" by Nerf Herder)**

**34. Timmy Turner (#17) ("Fairies Wear Boots" by Black Sabbath)**

**35. Eric Cartman (#14) ("White Rider" by Skrewdriver)**

**36. Beavis (#24) ("The Salaminizer" by GWAR)**

**37. Aang (#35) ("Nothing To My Name" by Cui Jian) **

**38. Twilight Sparkle (#11) ("Dig A Pony" by The Beatles)**

**39. Master Shake (#55) ("P.S.K." by Schoolly D)**

**40. Phineas Flynn (#43) ("High School Never Ends" by Bowling For Soup)**

**41. Ed (#27) ("Monster Mash" by Misfits)**

**42. Kim Possible (#51) ("Call Me, Beep Me!" by Christina Milian)**

**43. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) ("We're Only Gonna Die" by Bad Religion)**

**Now tuning to ESPN;**

Bestwick: We're at Bristol Motor Speedway, the World's Fastest Half-Mile! After witnessing Daria Morgendorffer claim her first victory in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series, the series is now three races away from the Chase as it gets ready to run one of the wildest races on the NASCAR circuit, the Irwin Tools Night Race! Welcome, everyone, I'm Allen Bestwick, with Dale Jarrett and Andy Petree.

Jarrett: Yep, you know what they say; short track equals short tempers! Add to that the fact that is really is by far the fastest track of its type, which leads to cars getting lapped very quickly... just imagine the mayhem that will happen tonight, especially with these characters' powers.

Petree: Right, and the race to the Chase has heated back up as of late, too. There are now a grand total of 20 drivers that have a mathematical chance of getting past 12th place Eric Cartman - though I'd say Eddy has the best chance of that. Cartman is back in 35th, and Eddy is in 2nd, and with how hard it is to pass on this track...

Bestwick: Yes, well, let's now go trackside for the command;

Track Announcer: And now, for those most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshall, one of the creepiest cartoon characters to come out of the UK, Count Duckula.

Duckula: Ladies and gentletoons, work hard for blood, and start your engines!

**Immediately, the cars fire up their engines - well, not all of them. Some of those starting in the back half of the field wait until the pace car takes off to start their engines.**

Bestwick: Butt-Head, in that infamous #48 car is on the pole, and beside him in 2nd is the scam master Eddy. The pony Applejack is right behind them in 3rd, and the box of French fries they call Frylock is in 4th. In 5th is the death metal bassist William Murderface, and in 6th is the immortal Kenny McCormick. Britain's own Ferb Fletcher will roll out in 7th, and in 8th is Spongebob SquarePants. The alien-boy Ben Tennyson starts 9th, and rounding out the top 10 is the puppy - Dudley Puppy, that is. Now, as you look through the rest of the starting grid, Dale Jarrett will dial someone up.

Jarrett: Eddy, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, do you have me?

Rolf: Be super cautious, Ed-boy. You'll be approaching the tail of the snake in a jiffy - don't let them get in your way.

Eddy: 10-4, Stretch.

Jarrett: I'm gonna try again. Eddy, it's Dale Jarrett from ESPN, do you have me?

Eddy: Yeah, I got ya, Dale.

Jarrett: Hey, so you're back in 31st in points, but you're starting 2nd, and 12th-place Eric Cartman is starting back in 35th place - what's your plan?

Eddy: Pfft! You've driven on this track umpteen times - you should know as well as I do that this track is real tough to pass on. I plan on taking advantage of that by simply staying up front and relying on everyone else to keep Cartman and the other Chase contenders back. The lapped traffic will be a problem for me, but at least it also will be for everyone else, so...

Jarrett: Sounds simple enough. Anyway, good luck to you - Andy's gonna talk to your crew chief, now.

Eddy: 10-4.

Petree: Rolf, it's Andy Petree from ESPN, do you have me?

Rolf: I can hear your voice as loudly and clearly as my Nana, yes.

Petree: Well, we've been talking about Eddy about his thoughts on tackling this racetrack - what about yours?

Rolf: This race track is more of a beast than the Roman Coliseum in the southern part of my native Europe, yes. But the three-haired Ed-boy is a devious character, and rest assured, he'll have a way to outsmart all these other yams.

Petree: Hmmm, well good luck, you two.

Rolf: Thank you.

**The pace car pulls down onto the frontstretch pit road. As soon as it is out of the way, the green flag is waved, and the cars take off full throttle.**

Bestwick: And the Irwin Tools Night Race is green!

**Butt-Head makes the dim-witted mistake of choosing the inside lane - thus, Eddy is able to zoom by him and take the lead before they're even out of turn 2.**

Butt-Head: How the hell did he do that? Fucker!

Eddy: Yee-hah! We're leadin' this thing, Rolf!

Rolf: Just remember, Ed-boy; you'll be on the tail end of the snake real shortly. Don't let them get the best of you, lest this night turn into a nightmare.

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, I got this.

**On lap 4, Eric Cartman's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet loses all of its oil pressure; Cartman retreats into the garage and retires from the race.**

**On lap 9, Kenny McCormick moves up into the top 5.**

** Applejack moves up to 2nd on lap 19. By this point, Eddy has run well into lapped traffic, allowing Applejack to get within close range of him by lap 30.**

Apple Bloom: If you can get through this lapped traffic, the #31 will be right there.

Applejack: 10-4, sis.

**By lap 38;**

Kevin: Look out, dork! One of those pony sluts is right behind you!

Eddy: I know that, shovelchin! I got this!

**Eddy does indeed manage to hold Applejack off, but on lap 50, he gets stuck behind two lapped cars...**

Bestwick: Three-wide; Applejack cuts right through the middle, clears Eddy, she takes the lead!

Applejack: Did I get 'im?

Apple Bloom: You got 'im!

Eddy: Urrgh! Damn lapped cars...!

**On lap 57, Ferb Fletcher makes his way into the top 5.**

** On lap 69, Butt-Head makes it past Eddy to get back up to 2nd. He catches up to Applejack on lap 78.**

Apple Bloom: Watch out - the #48 is right behind you!

**But the lapped traffic proves to be too much in the end - on lap 90, Butt-Head slips by while Applejack is pinned behind a lapped car.**

Applejack: Man, this lapped traffic is gonna be the death of me, I tell ya!

**On lap 100, Dudley Puppy falls out of the top 10.**

** Ben Tennyson makes it up to the top 5 on lap 110.**

** Meanwhile, Butt-Head is still leading on lap 125 when...**

Bestwick: The #51 is off the pace on the back straightaway...

Jarrett: OH, and the #88 just slammed right into her, caution is out!

Kim: Didn't she see me going slowly in the median?! If she didn't, maybe she needs a new spotter!

Daria: You saw how the #27 ran me off the road! I had nowhere to go!

Quinn: Yeah, 10-4, sis.

**On lap 125, Kim Possible's #51 Phoenix Construction Chevrolet breaks its transmission; she is then rear ended by Daria Morgendorffer's #88 Diet Mountain Dew Chevrolet, effectively totaling both cars. As the caution is brought out, Kim and Daria get out and bicker some before being broken up and taken to the infield care center.**

** Peter Griffin's #93 Burger King Toyota, running 1 lap down in 28th gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Butt-Head (#48)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**4. Eddy (#31)**

**5. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**6. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**7. Katara (#34)**

**8. Sokka (#38)**

**9. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**10. Bender (#22)**

** The race is restarted on lap 135.**

** Before the lap is over, Eddy is up to 2nd place. Butt-Head, however, has pulled away from the rest of the pack.**

** On lap 144, Ben Tennyson makes it back up to 3rd place, catching up to Eddy on lap 152. Together, the two run down Butt-Head...**

** It turns into a three-way battle for the lead on lap 163. Ben Tennyson makes it past Eddy for 2nd on lap 169, and then on lap 174;**

Bestwick: For the lead - Ben Tennyson gets past Butt-Head, and he is your new race leader!

Kevin: And it appears as if you're in the lead, dude!

Ben: Awesome!

**On lap 183, Eddy passes Butt-Head for 2nd.**

Rolf: Now the time has come to send that Martian boy back to Venus where I know he's from!

Eddy: 10-4, Stretch!

**With Ben being held up a bit by some lapped traffic, Eddy is able to catch him on lap 190. This time, the two start to go at it for real; whenever Eddy makes a move to the inside, Ben gets the better run on the outside.**

** But on lap 200;**

Bestwick: Ben Tennyson's held up by lapped traffic - there goes Eddy on the inside, he's taken the lead back.

Rolf: Take that, Martian!

Ben: God, I hate these lapped cars!

**On lap 212, Rainbow Dash finally makes it into the top 20.**

** On lap 225, Applejack makes it back up to 2nd. She catches up to Eddy on lap 237.**

** Eddy is still holding Applejack off on lap 250 when...**

Bestwick: Caution is out for smoke in turn 4 - the #55 of Master Shake has lost it.

Shake: Dammit, how many blown engines have we had this season?!

Ignignokt: ...

**On lap 250, Master Shake's #55 Aaron's Toyota blows its engine. Shake pounds his head on the steering wheel as he coasts onto pit road and into the garage area, ending his race.**

** Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota, running 1 lap down in 20th gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Applejack (#18)**

**3. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**4. Butt-Head (#48)**

**5. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**6. Bender (#22)**

**7. Early Cuyler (#21)**

**8. William Murderface (#47)**

**9. The Warden (#32)**

**10. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

** The restart is done on lap 260. Somehow, Ferb Fletcher gets a spectacular start, despite being on the inside line, and makes it up to 3rd on lap 262.**

Baljeet: Two more to go!

Ferb: Roger that.

**Ahsoka Tano finally makes it into the top 20 on lap 274.**

** Meanwhile, on lap 285, Ferb Fletcher has made it past Applejack for 2nd place. After fighting his way past a lapped car, he makes it onto Eddy's rear bumper on lap 299.**

Vanessa: That's the leader right in front of you. Go for it!

**Eddy finds himself trapped by two lapped cars on lap 311, allowing Ferb to make his move...**

Bestwick: There goes Ferb, three-wide for the lead... he has it!

Vanessa: You're in the lead, Ferb!

Ferb: 10-4.

**Bender makes it up to the top 5 on lap 325.**

** Meanwhile, Eddy stays right on Ferb Fletcher's tail, trying like hell to pass her. But everytime he makes a move, either Applejack herself or a lapped car gets right in front of him, and he can't make the move. This allows Ben Tennyson to catch back up with them...**

** It becomes another three-way battle for the lead on lap 338. Eddy manages to slip back past Ferb on lap 349. Ben Tennyson then moves up to 2nd on lap 357. He catches Eddy on lap 362, but he can't make the move.**

** Around this same time, there is a heated battle for 21st place; Danny Phantom has the spot while Stan Smith is trying to take it away. But for the past few laps, Danny has been holding Stan off really well - by lap 375, Stan has had enough. On lap 375, he draws a huge, strange-looking gun, an Ecto Grenade Launcher, aims it at Danny's car, and fires...**

Bestwick: OH! HUGE CRASH IN TURN 1! NINE... NO, TEN CARS ARE IN IT!

Jarrett: Their crashing everywhere! Cars and debris are all over the place!

Petree: I don't know what kind of gun Stan Smith had on him, but he destroyed the #16 car with it, and everyone else just got caught up in it.

**The grenade scores a direct hit on Danny Phantom's #16 3M Ford, taking out him and nine other cars, including Phineas Flynn's #43 Smithfield Foods Ford, Twilight Sparkle's #11 FedEx Toyota, Aang's #35 CSX Transportation Ford, Meatwad's #56 NAPA Toyota, Beavis's #24 Drive To End Hunger Chevrolet, The Warden's #32 Federated Auto Parts Ford, Foxxy Love's #98 K-LOVE Ford, Early Cuyler's #21 Motorcraft Ford, and Hank Hill's #95 Jordan's Truck Sales Ford.**

Danny: How the hell did Stan Smith get his hands on that? I thought only Valerie Gray had those!

Sam: Uh... no comment.

**Hank Venture's #13 GEICO Ford, running 1 lap down on 16th gets the free pass.**

** Top 10 after pit stops;**

**1. Eddy (#31)**

**2. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**3. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**4. Applejack (#18)**

**5. Butt-Head (#48)**

**6. William Murderface (#47)**

**7. Bender (#22)**

**8. Katara (#34)**

**9. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**10. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

** The race is restarted on lap 385.**

** Bender is back into the top 5 on lap 392.**

** Meanwhile, by lap 400, Eddy has pulled out to a sizable lead.**

Rolf: You've just 100 laps left to complete, second-born Ed-boy. Win this race, for the honor of our clan!

Eddy: You got it, Stretch!

**Meanwhile, on lap 411, Bender moves up to 3rd. He then takes 2nd from Ben Tennyson on lap 420.**

Bender: You're mine now, Eddy!

Zoidberg: He's right in front of you - go get 'im!

**By lap 431, Bender has caught Eddy, ensuing the battle for the win. Unfortuately for Bender, Eddy holds him off at every time, buying Ben Tennyson time to catch up with them.**

** By lap 444, the battle for the lead has turned into a three-way.**

Gwen: This it it, coz! Just over 50 laps to go! You got this!

**Eddy then gets held up by a lapped car on around lap 459, giving Bender just enough time to get by and take the lead.**

Farnsworth: Fabulous, you're leading this race!

Bender: Fuck yeah, I'm gonna win!

Eddy: I hate these lapped cars!

Rolf: The sun has not yet set, shorter-than-Master-Yoda Ed-boy.

**Then on lap 470, Ben Tennyson passes Eddy for 2nd, and on lap 480, he catches Bender, ensuing the battle for the win.**

Farnsworth: Let's finish this, Bender.

Bender: Piece of cake, heh heh heh!

Gwen: You can do this, Ben! You can win your first race!

Ben: I intend to!

**Sure enough, Ben Tennyson passes Bender on lap 490. Bender, however, stays right on his rear bumper and does not let up.**

** The white flag flies on lap 500, with Ben Tennyson and Bender still going at it. Ben holds off Bender going through the first two turns. Then in turn 3, Bender gets held up by lapped traffic while Ben goes ahead.**

Bender: DAMMIT!

Bestwick: Checkered flag, Ben Tennyson wins the Irwin Tools Night Race!

Ben: Hell yeah! I'm finally a winner in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series!

Gwen: You did great out there, coz!

Kevin: Amen to that!

**Ben Tennyson wins the Irwin Tools Night Race - his first win in the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series. Bender settles for 2nd, Eddy comes in 3rd, Butt-Head takes 4th, Applejack is 5th, Spongebob SquarePants finishes 6th, Jake Long claims 7th, Dudley Puppy places 8th, Ferb Fletcher finishes 9th and William Murderface rounds out the top 10.**

** After doing a long burnout down the front straightaway and taking the checkered flag, Ben Tennyson finds himself in NASCAR's Victory Lane for the first time. He gets out of his car and cheers wildly before his fans and his race team, still finding it hard to believe that he would ever be a winner in the Cartoon Cup Series. Dr. Jerry Punch then moves in for the interview;**

Punch: Ben Tennyson, from a field-filler last season to a Cartoon Cup Series winner this year! Who would've thought?

Ben: Not me, heh heh heh! Yeah, last season, it's no wonder that Robinson-Blakeney Racing went out of business, with how piss-poor they were. Now I'm with Stewart-Haas Racing, and they're awesome, and I have to thank them, along with GoDaddy, Bass Pro Shops, Quicken Loans, Gwen, Kevin and everyone else who helped finally make it happen for me!

Punch: What about your closing battle with Bender in those closing laps?

Ben: I was just praying that those lapped cars wouldn't hinder me - in a track like this, they can be the deciding factor in the outcome of the race, you know. Luckily for me, those lapped cars hindered Bender in the end, so I can't complain. But all-in-all, I'm just glad that I finally managed to win a race in this series.

Punch: Great job, Ben.

Ben: Thanks, Doc!

** Irwin Tools Night Race results;**

**1. Ben Tennyson (#10)**

**2. Bender (#22)**

**3. Eddy (#31)**

**4. Butt-Head (#48)**

**5. Applejack (#18)**

**6. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)**

**7. Jake Long [R] (#30)**

**8. Dudley Puppy (#99)**

**9. Ferb Fletcher (#9)**

**10. William Murderface (#47)**

**11. Kenny McCormick (#39)**

**12. Frylock (#15)**

**13. Grim (#33)**

**14. Katara (#34)**

**15. Gumball Watterson (#87)**

**16. Hank Venture [R] (#13)**

**17. Rainbow Dash (#20) (1 lap down)**

**18. Edd (#29) (1 lap down)**

**19. Hoagie P. Gilligan (1 lap down)**

**20. Nigel Uno (#1) (1 lap down)**

**21. Stan Smith (#7) (1 lap down)**

**22. Timmy Turner (#17) (1 lap down)**

**23. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42) (2 laps down)**

**24. Peter Griffin (#93) (2 laps down)**

**25. Abigail Lincoln (#5) (2 laps down)**

**26. Homer Simpson (#83) (2 laps down)**

**27. Ed (#27) (3 laps down)**

**28. Francine Smith (#36) (3 laps down)**

**29. Sokka (#38) (4 laps down)**

**30. Danny Phantom (#16) (DNF; accident)**

**31. Hank Hill (#95) (DNF; accident)**

**32. Foxxy Love (#98) (DNF; accident)**

**33. Early Cuyler (#21) (DNF; accident)**

**34. The Warden (#32) (DNF; accident)**

**35. Beavis (#24) (DNF; accident)**

**36. Meatwad (#56) (DNF; accident)**

**37. Aang (#35) (DNF; accident)**

**38. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (DNF; accident)**

**39. Phineas Flynn (#43) (DNF; accident)**

**40. Master Shake (#55) (DNF; engine)**

**41. Kim Possible (#51) (DNF; accident)**

**42. Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88) (DNF; accident)**

**43. Eric Cartman (#14) (DNF; oil pressure)**

** Point standings after 24 of 36 races;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 580 points**

**2. Rainbow Dash (#20); 579 points**

**3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 576 points**

**4. Stan Smith (#7); 571 points**

**5. Edd (#29); 566 points**

**6. Nigel Uno (#1)/Peter Griffin (#93); 565 points**

**8. Timmy Turner (#17); 563 points**

**9. Homer Simpson (#83)/Abigail Lincoln (#5); 560 points**

**11. Danny Phantom (#16); 555 points**

**12. Bender (#22); 544 points**

**13. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Eddy (#31); 536 points**

**15. Jake Long [R] (#30)/Eric Cartman (#14); 535 points**

**17. Grim (#33); 531 points**

**18. Ed (#27); 530 points**

**19. Butt-Head (#48)/Daria Morgendorffer [R] (#88); 529 points**

**21. Applejack (#18)/Ferb Fletcher (#9)/Katara (#34); 528 points**

**24. Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 527 points**

**25. Dudley Puppy (#99); 525 points**

**26. Kenny McCormick (#39); 523 points**

**27. Frylock (#15); 522 points**

**28. Kim Possible (#51); 521 points**

**29. William Murderface (#47); 518 points**

**30. Beavis (#24)/Meatwad (#56)/Aang (#35)/Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Phineas Flynn (#43)/Master Shake (#55); 517 points**

**36. Francine Smith (#36); 516 points**

**37. Hank Hill (#98)/Foxxy Love (#98)/The Warden (#32); 513 points**

**40. Early Cuyler (#21); 512 points**

**41. Gumball Watterson (#87)/Hank Venture [R] (#13); 510 points**

**43. Sokka (#38); 504 points**

** Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;**

**1. Ahsoka Tano [R] (#42); 294 points**

**2. Daria Morgendorffer (#88); 258 points**

**3. Jake Long (#30); 233 points**

**4. Hank Venture (#13); 229 points**

** Next race; AdvoCare 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway.**


End file.
